RANT POST IF YOU WANNA READ GO AHEAD
Today I ended a 3 year friendship with someone I truly cared about. I had cut off a person in my life because I realized they are too needy. It was to the point where it was always about how they felt instead of me. I felt trapped and always forced to hangout with them even when I didn’t want too. Once there name popped up on my phone I automatically got annoyed. Even when I went to them about how I felt about something, it was flipped around and turned into there own scenario or get harshly ridiculed. The hardest part was that my family was involved with the friendship. She’s met my family and became really good friends with my sister. Our last conversation wasn’t a great one. I agrued with her saying that we are on different paths in life. She belittled my thoughts. She isn’t wrong for what had said to me but she isn’t right about certain things either.
Yes we had great times together but those memories turned into learning experiences and I’ve learned that even though you love them dearly, sometimes the people you love the most, they are the ones who are truly holding you back. Those past bad habits you thought you’ve never do again can soon arise. Especially with certain people. I don’t have ill intent towards her yet I don’t know how she feels the same with me. She was nasty with me on the phone and “hoped” everything would be great in my life in a snarky attitude.
Backstory
We did take a break in October because I felt like it was too much, she understood and we took a “break” for 2 months. In those 2 months she got a boyfriend and I was successfully still losing weight. Once she came back the old habits came up again and I felt unease. Once we got back together, certain things she did I didn’t like and I hid my opinions about that. I hid those feeling for WAY TOO long because then in that time she became really good friends with my sister.
Now that’s where it gets awkward, because then she would only ask to hangout with my sister and I. I felt like the second best. I felt it was only fun once my sister agreed to hangout. She was the only one to invite. (Both like to drink and talk about boys, I’ve been sober since July and never been in a relationship only hookups) They said things and did things that made me feel uncomfortable and picked on me that would make me feel like the butt of the joke. They would make fun of me and I hated that feeling. It’s one thing to be the punching bag with your sister, but then your “best friend” would tag team in the joke as well. It’s like damned if I said anything, damned if I don’t. So I held ALL of that emotion all in until today.
Am I upset, yes because she was with me through hard times within those 3 years but will I miss having the uneasy feeling when I’m around her, the “nonchalantness” of peer pressure to drink, the convos about sex positions IN FRONT OF MY SISTER, and immature mind games she would play with guys on Tinder then ask me why her love life isn’t working out 🤔. Nope.
Would I miss having a good friend, yes, but a friend wouldn’t do that even WHEN YOU SAID NO.
Okay rant over byeee ❤️👋🏻
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