#friendlyintrovertcollegeedition

My Dad to my Mom in a somber tone: I think our pop drawer needs to become a vegetable drawer…

Watched a man at the bus stop pull a used medical mask out of a public garbage can, use it to wipe the sweat off his face, and then toss it back in. If anyone needs me I’ll be on the next rocket off this planet.

I can never become famous because then it will become very clear how many famous people I don’t know and am now forced to socialize with. It’d be like a family reunion from hell.

Sometimes I wonder why I’ve never been catcalled. Then I remember my hearing loss and realize that maybe I’ve just never heard them. Yet another perk of being half deaf.

Power went out at the movie theater. Can you imagine watching IT and then the power goes out? Let’s just say a lot of people spilled their sodas.

My cooking style can be described as “how much cheese and butter can I put on stuff?”