#freeze rays

I think Toho should do a sort of winged serpent dragon as another member of the Ghidorah family. You know:

King Ghidorah -> two legs

Desghidorah -> four legs

So we need one with no legs!

I think an “ice” theme would do well...

And by “ice” I mean a temperature disruption ray that flashfries the center and sends frozen shrapnel flying 

What you think a Ghidorah would freeze things in a way that gives death a sort of dignity? Hahaha! No.

You think its snowing? Nope, that’s frozen powdered debris from buildings and people.

And of course some madman needs to take the remains of three defeated Ghidorahs so we can get something like this.

Yeah, Heisei  Ghidorah was originally intended to have three different colored beams.

I’m not gonna lie. This was heavily inspired by  Dodrio, the pokemons, signature move Tri-Attack and the above poster.

Also was inspired by the Natarl mothership ( Battle in Outer Space (1959) ), which nonsensically had an absolute zero canon that levitated things, because there apparently was some pseudoscience of temperature and gravity being related at the time.

Peguila, from Ultra Q, has a breath weapon with the exact same BS

I do note that Desghidorah is like Ghidorah but MORE, even more of bad traits like worse ability to focus, and bunker buster type beam weapons and the ability to attack and hurt even those hiding underground.

The universe is a vast and expanding place. Scientifically speaking it is actually “hella” vast (that’s the actual technical term for it, look it up). And (spoiler alert) we are not even remotely close to being alone in it. The Fraternity of Alien Activity, Reconnaissance and Telecommunications Enthusiasts (or, as the government calls them, FAART Enthusiasts) tells me there are approximately 2,872 unique alien species that have interacted with either Earth or representatives of mankind throughout the history of the world. The Federal Bureau of UFO Tracking, Transporting and Studying (or, as the Fraternity calls them, Federal BUTTS) refuses to give me, a private citizen, with a blog, an actual number, though they strongly implied that the Fraternity was vastly overestimating the number of unique species. But at least the Fraternity would give me a number, so as far as me, you, and this blog are concerned that’s the number of alien species. Now, while many of these alien species have proven to be friendly and have even entered into alliances with Earth, swapping resources, technology and entertainment, others are decidedly more jerkish. Every so often some warmongering (and/or bored) alien armada will swoop down into Earth’s atmosphere and try to conquer the whole planet! This happens like two or three times a decade so if you’re going to be a superhero that’s definitely something to be aware of. (For a brief overview of alien invasions see here.)

Now an alien invasion is almost definitely of greater importance and urgency than whatever other superheroic nonsense you were involved with before a UFO landed on the Washington Mall (did you know that it’s not actually a mall? Like there aren’t stores there. Not even clever Washington-themed riffs on other stores like McRonald Regan’s or Washing Tons Laundromat or Thomas Jeffer-cinnabon or the Warren G. Hardware Store.) So it’s important to just derail, forget about, or hastily wrap up whatever ongoing superhero adventures you were involved with before. Alien invasions take precedence over almost everything else, with exceptions including, interdimensional invaders, a plague that you can’t even weaponize to drive off the aliens because they’re immune and it’s super inconvenient, and probably zombie grasshoppers. So you better start doing some research on warloving alien races and past alien invasions, because when the invasion comes you need to be prepared at a moment’s notice. (Zombie grasshoppers are the most dangerous kind of zombie because they’re small, so they’re hard to spot, and also they can jump really frikkin’ high so sometimes you can’t just step on them and honestly, after dying alone and the dark, zombie grasshoppers are my biggest fear.)

An alien invasion should trigger a worldwide alliance of superheroes and other para-folk who aren’t in the mood to be subjugated by other-worldly warlords. When the fate of the world is at stake you need to put aside all petty squabbles and form an alliance between anybody and everybody who could possibly hold their own against evil alien soldiers. Sometimes that even means bad guys. You’re just going to have to deal with it. You need to pool all of your resources and information into an effective invasion repelling force. It doesn’t matter if that one guy tried to rob a bank last Thursday. He has a sub-machine freeze ray. It rapidly fires capsules that emit a freezing gas when broken. This is clearly a useful thing to have when fighting aliens. Just be chill (hahahaha) let him join the team. The first thing you should do when forming this world-super-alliance is select a leader and establish a headquarters. Normally your leader should be the most high-profile superhero, probably the leader of the largest superhero team. Likewise, the headquarters of the largest superhero team should probably be used as headquarters and mission control for this veritable super-army. This alliance is basically worthless without proper leadership and organization. It would be advisable (in fact, we’re advising it now) to try to merge everyone’s support-squads to form a massive network of superhero allies and helpers across the world.

The next thing you need to do is actually fight off the invasion. Remember, you are Earth’s last line of defense, if you fall, Earth falls, so there’s no holding back here. Also, just something to keep in mind, try to nab some neat alien gear. Steal some weapons, grab some sweet body armor, really just take anything you can carry. As a superhero it’s your right to grab as much alien stuff as you can before some government swoops in and takes it all to study somewhere. Also if you take a bunch of alien stuff you can maybe infiltrate the aliens’ mothership. This only really works if both you and the aliens you’re fighting are roughly humanoid. You’d probably have trouble impersonating an alien with multiple arms, or one with no legs that just kind of floats above the ground. Or one with three heads. Or one with two heads even. There was no need for me to go to the extreme and start talking about three heads. You only have one head. Anything more than that will be hard to mimic. I mean you probably could figure something out. Use some cleverly disguised basketballs, or grape fruits, or busts. Or get a hologram projector! Yeah, anybody with a hologram projector can easily infiltrate an alien mothership. You should just do that.

Once you’ve infiltrated the mothership, the main hub and command center of the alien invasion you need to start destabilizing anything and everything you can. Just start ripping wires out of the wall. Punching aliens. Stealing stuff that looks important. Maybe plant a few timed explosives that you can detonate remotely as convenient. Then, once things have been properly destabilized you need to STEAL. AN. ALIEN. SHIP. It’s gonna be awesome.

Hop into an alien cruiser and blast the hell out of that heavily sabotaged mothershippin’ invasion command hub. It’s someone else’s problem now. Now you have a sick alien ship. Full disclosure, most of you will probably crash it immediately and die. Which is too bad. But for the rest of you, the one’s that live and have an awesome alien cruiser. Good for you! Congratulations! Fly that thing everywhere. Even places you used to just walk to. Fun traffic law fact: You can park an alien cruiser anywhere. They don’t have license plates or registration numbers. You can’t get ticketed. That’s probably the law. And it’s not like you can tow an alien cruiser. Have you seen those things? They’re maaaaad sleek and smooth and aerodynamic and just visually dynamic, and there’s nowhere to hook it up to a towing rig. Also, like, if you’ve just saved the world from an alien invasion you’re basically allowed to just do whatever you want. Now I’m not saying you should abuse that privilege. Just abuse it enough to park your alien cruiser anywhere you want. (I feel like this entire paragraph should have been in parentheses) 

Geoff Brumfiel

So...freeze rays that circumvent the issue of molecules being harder to work with than individual atoms should probably only freeze things that SURVIVE being shot and disintegrates everything weaker.

Also think this is a really cool kaiju power or anti-kaiju weapon concept. Cooler than the interpretation of the Godzilla Heisei series when someone on staff heard about “cryolasers”

Being a big-time fancy shmancy internationally renowned superhero is a lot of work. Way more work than being just your average casually-stroll-around-the-same-six-blocks-in-your-neighborhood-hoping-someone-commits-an-easily-stoppable-crime-in-your-line-of-sight superhero. But you know what they say: if you’ve got great powers you’re basically morally responsible to do lots of good stuff with them. (If someone has a catchier way of saying this please, send a telegram.) Now all this added responsibility can be overwhelming for just one measly super person. It is conceivable that you’ll need help in accomplishing your goals of ridding the entire world of crimes. (A real hero would work tirelessly to dismantle and rebuild the social and political systems that create an environment where people even need to commit crimes, but whatevers, we’ll start small.) Which mean you’re going to need to start putting together your own superhero support squad.

The members of your support squad are the people you can count on to help you foil crimes and keep people safe. They’re the trainers who help you master your powers. They’re the omni-disciplinary scientists and engineers who build you cool super-gear. They’re the guys at base who quickly google the supervillains you come up against and help you devise the best way to stop them on the fly. (They’re the literate folk who quickly read through this handy dandy guide in order to help you get through situations such as infiltrating ancient temples, filling out insurance claims for your jetpack choir, and asking other heroes out on team-up adventures.) They’re the mechanics who help upkeep your fleet of hat-themed vehicles. They’re the tailors who design dynamic and striking (and comfortable and chic) costumes. They’re the doctors and police officers and firefighters [and lawyers] who often provide key assistance. They’re the random teenagers who one time stumbled upon your hideout by accident and since you can’t just make them disappear or lock them in a cell or something you have to give them something to do so they don’t go off and tell everyone about your secret (they’re basically like the unpaid college interns of the superhero world). A hero is only as good as the people who assist him or her in the heat of a battle. So making sure you have a good superhero support squad is key.

Now, since the most effective support squad is made up of people who actually know who you are it’s important to gather people who you know you can trust. Go through your close friends and acquaintances and see which of them might be useful. A good way to determine a friend’s viability as a member of your support squad is to give them some sort of quiz or questionnaire (quizstionnaire) that covers the following areas.

1. How big is your thirst for justice?     a. I have no thirst.     b. I have some thirst.     c. I have a moderate to severe thirst.     d. UNQUENCHABLE!!!! 2. How often do you reveal the deep dark secrets of your friends to the press?     a. About once a month.     b. Basically every month which has 31 days.     c. Leap years.     d. I never have and never will not even for a million billion bazillion dollars. 3. Do you know how to build a freeze ray on a budget?     a. No.     b. Uh… what kind of quiz is this?     c. I can build a freeze ray but it will be obscenely, prohibitively,     aggressively expensive.     d. Yes. 4. If given the opportunity would you gladly spend all your time helping a superhero fight crime?     a. Yes, gladly.     b. No, can I go now?     c. All of the above.     d. Wait that last one doesn’t make any sense.

If none of your friends perform well on that quiz, or you’re just friends with incompetent people with no useful skills, you should start befriending people who will actually be useful. Once you’ve assembled the people you want on your team you need to actually take the time to mold them into a functioning unit. That means it’s camping time. Take the new squad on a team-building outdoors retreat where you all can do trust falls and tell each other your deepest darkest secrets and do practice supervillain attack drills. Have one of your new squadders play the role of a random supervillain and have the rest of your squad come together to come up with an effective strategy to defeat them. Keep repeating this with different squadders portraying different supervillains until you’ve developed a workable, timely, supervillain response system that you can confidently implement in the field.

Now, once you’ve gotten yourself a support-squad you need to take extra precautions against bad guys who seek to hurt you. Keeping the identities of the people on your squad safe and secret is just as important as keeping your own identity safe and secret. Assign everyone codenames that you can use over comms when you’re fighting. Stuff like “Googler” or “McTypey Pants” or, hell, just call them by the wrong normal people names. Call your official superhero electrician Donald something like “Matt” or “Diana.” Really as long as you’re just not calling them by their real names you’re golden. Advise your team not to put “superhero support team member” on their social media profile or on their resumes as cool as that might be. Because that will get them kidnapped, tortured and possibly killed by supervillains. Tell them not to put down “Captain Thunder” or “Nightron” as references when applying for jobs. If they still do it anyway be sure to give them a terrible reference so they don’t get the job and they learn not to pull that kind of thing again. At the same time also make sure everyone on your team has some sort of device that can alert you immediately if they are in danger. If one of your squadmates gets captured, you need to make rescuing them your top priority. Drop everything else to save your bud. If you can’t have favorites when saving people what’s even the point. Also if -worse comes to worst- one of your squaddies does crack under pressure and gives up your secret identity or the location of your hideout or your favorite guilty pleasure film, don’t hold it against them. You should’ve been there to protect them. You can’t bring a person into your secret crusade against crime and then not save them when they’re kidnapped and endangered because of it. Also like you should move. Your base is definitely compromised. Also check to see if your dude hasn’t been Trojan-Horsed into some kind of mind-controlled lackey or living bomb. Supervillains loooove their mind-controlled lackeys and living bombs. 

Premium Guide: Superior Squad Membership

Hello Tappers!

Day 3 of the Superhero Event 2015 and I have to say I’m loving every second of it! Lets just hope I feel the same way in over a months time. By now you should be tapping away those Criminals in your town and collecting Carbon Rods to earn those SUPER-Prizes. Visiting friends daily getting more Carbon Rods, sending characters on jobs to earn more Carbon Rods. But what’s that?! You…