#freetoskip

Hello guys, whatcha duin’?

So I finally have finished my clerkship period that started 1,5 years back then. And I was so happy, till now, I am.

but then I realize that the exams come closer, and really, it’s super scary guys.... cz I haven’t prepared anything for it. so I decided to take a short course for that, and I am sure I’ll be so damn busy till the exams catch me. wish me luck, guys! tons of luck!

So yesterday I got my 10-days-off and literally spend those precious time by chillin out. I went to Dufan, (again) cz I don’t know whereelse to go :’) I spent my money for shopping (and now I regret that......), also for doing unnecessary thing (I regret that even more ........ damn!)

I’ll get to the point.

the point is, I was superbly bored then I decided to call someone, asking him out. someone I haven’t contacted for such a long time. such a longggg time. someone whom I had memories thru koass-lyfe and now we barely even speak to each other.

and he replied, and said yes. yes to meet me. I ask to watch Beauty and the beast and he agreed. (really? that movie was 2 hours long, and half of that was so full of sing and sing and sing....... and he did say yes to watch that with me)

but that night, the seat was full-booked and we decided not to watch that and we went outside and eat. and we talked, like never before. of course we came up with some stories of us being away for each other, what have we done in those time and so on..... I couldn’t tell.

I was so sure that night will be my last night meeting him again in person, cz I’m gonna be so damn busy till my exam time, and I’m pretty sure that he won’t ask me out, or even text me. but I don’t mind. I really don’t. not because of my feelings for him had changed, but I just don’t want this kind of feeling ruined my mood and mind, so I’ll just let that go.

but then he ask me to go out again, to watch the movie. and I said yes. so 1 week later we went out again to watch that movie together. so that was the second time meeting him, again.

we had enjoy that night, and on our way home, he asked me out again to go on a “getaway” trip to someplace far where we could take a train to be there. just to get on a train........ and again, I was a bit shocked but I keep saying yes. and we went out again.

okay, for those who haven’t know this person, I am telling you that this person was super. I mean, he was a complete opposite of me. he was an A-typed person, who was really prepared for everything he did. He’s kind, loyal, neat, but also weird, like we dont have the same thing to be laugh for.

But I did fell in love with him, or I should rather say, I attracted to him. (I’m not so sure)

He was there in my beginning of coass time, he accompanied me thru my hard time in coass, we had a good time together, and finally he got a job outside the town and leave me here in Bandung. we used to go home together, ate dinner together, talked on the phone till night catches us,  but things changed after he got a job that take half of his life so for some reason he couldn’t contact me. and I went selfish. and...... he’s gone for like, a long time.

and it ends our story back then.

I even told him my feelings for him the moment before he went outside the town for his job, but I just told him that I liked him, I liked being around him, and I would like to be around him for a longer time, but I wasn’t sure (till now I am) if my feelings should be called love or not. and that night, he called me on the phone, and said that he has read my letter and decided to take everything slow and let it flow, cz if it’s meant to be, if we were meant to be together, we will be.

and I cried the moment he left me for his job. but at first we keep making time to contact each other, even it’s only once a week, it isn’t much. but I still happy I get to know what he did there, how did he do, and he still spent his little time he had to give me atleast some news about him.

but as my coass-life getting hard and harder, I went selfish and I want more from him that I know he couldn’t do for me, I want much more time from him, that I know that it was impossible by seeing his busy job. and we talked less, everytime we made time to call, it ends up by me mad at him for some unknown reason. at first we found it cute, but at the end, it frustrating each other.

and he left.... like no news at all for me, no texts, no phones, nothing from him I heard more.

He used to be my very first man I told everything to (excluded my dad ofcourse), he used to be my very best friend that could calm me down whenever exam getting closer and I was super anxious. he used to be my mood stabilzer, my antidepressant, my manic-controller, my important person whom I could lean everything to. but things got so different and I never heard him again.

I tried to move on, and go on with my life without him, like before I met him. I tried to focus more on my coass. I often remembered him, I wonder what he did there, did he met a girl? did he happy out there? did he ever for once wondering about me? but I tried not to call even though I want it so badly.

till 5 months ago I finally text him, ask him, how’s his life but he replied it politely, but cold. like he was a super different person from the last time I met him. and then I realize that things might never be the same again as before. I decided to let it go and move on.

till 1 week ago, when I got my 10-days-off, I text him and we finally went out together. I won’t get my hope fly high, but I am very happy for that moment finally we could had our good time again after such a long time.

hello, my followers! hows tumblr these days?

I bet it’s getting much more interesting since the last timeI wrote a post here.

So now I just finally making time to start posting again, hopefully it’ll continue to go on regularly. hopefully.

I am finally in my very last week of my obgyn rotation in Garut City, and starting to feel “baper” about leaving this things behind and get back to my previous routinity in Bandung. I think I’m falling in love with Obgyn, this could be one of my top choice in choosing my specialty. could be. wkwkw

I just happy being here, I helped many babies born into the world, I helped many mother to their hard time delivering her baby into the world while her husband is waiting outside the delivery room, praying that his wife and his child could make it safely. It couldn’t be happier anymore helping people through that one of many painful moment of their lives. I am just so happy.

Plus, the consulent here, the teacher, the midwifes, residents and everyone were just so nice. they’re decent people. they helped me most of the time, teaching me, accompanying me, and we’re kinda having fun here despite of busy workhours that just cruelly stole our sleep time. haha.

having a C-section in the middle of the night, being awakened for more than 36 hours, not having much sleeptime because observing the mother and the baby just taking half of my life here, but I am just grateful I could do this thing.

but there’s some obstacles, obviously. it’s just impossible that everything would go perfectly the way we want. everybody kinda having their rough time, and sometimes, some douche-people just do the things the way they want and not thinking about others people just make me wanna punch their face and slap them with a chair. I am just that cruel. but don’t worry, I didn’t do such thing.

there’s so many lessons I learned here, by having the same rotation with another coass from another institution, that we just have to communicate everything clearly, we have to learn about what’s people feels whenever we do something undelightful, and just treat people the way you wanna be treated. it’s hard earlier, but time goes by and we learned to make the hard things easier. atleast, some of us learned. but some other just don’t, yep, those douche people. haha but nevermind, God is fair.

x : buat tgl 18 agustus gimana bisa kan, sekitar 6 orang??

y : Bisa

x : nuhun, mudik??

y : Oke masbro, engga d rumah sajo hehe

x : sip. nuhun, sy mudik dulu

y : Oh bru mau mudik? Hati-hati semoga selamat sampai tujuan

x : udah mudik