#fourwarpsleigh

Lucifer and Gabriel walked onto the factory floor with flair. Balthazar, their manager, swaggered drunkenly behind. “AAAALLRIGHT, GURLS,” Balthazar slurred out, gesturing wildly with his empty martini glass. Gabriel played with his chef’s hat absentmindedly. “Listen Carefully, THIS IS THE WRAPPING DEPARTMENT,” with each word Balthazar slammed his hand on the stationary conveyor belt, his head turned towards them dramatically. “And now the candy will pass by on this conveyor belt,” his finger pointed a trail down the contraption harshly, Lucifer and Gabriel’s heads bending in unison to follow the pointer finger with apt interest. It didn’t take long for Gabe’s mind to wander into a daydream.

In his dream, sonic the hedgehog was explaining how his dastardly plan would work. “The train will hit the tree and the tree will change the switch and then--”

Gabriel’s dream was interrupted by Balthazar. “The candy will--”

“Go down that side track and hits the cliff--” Sonic started.

“And continuing to the next room where the girls will pack it--” Balthazar yelled at them. Their heads twisted in unison to face the end of the belt.

“And go bOOM--” the voice in Gabriel’s head yelled, distracting him once more from Balthazar’s instructions.

Their heads snapped up at the same time when Balthazar’s barking voice spoke up. “Now your job is to take each--”

Suddenly, flashing images of Sonic the Hedgehog clouded his vision, all the same clips that had showed up before. The segments of the animated kids show slowly turned into clips of sepia, and a hipster could be heard babbling in the distance about fish eye lens distortion. A mime cried softly as he cradled a young cow. Balthazar’s words snapped him out of his confusing reverie.

“YOU UNDERSTAND?” he slurred.

“Yes, ma’am--”

“YES, SIR,” Gabriel yelled over him, quickly correcting his befuddled brother.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Five Minutes Later~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“AAAAAAALLRIGHT, GURLS, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE,” Balthazar yelled obnoxiously, stomping his way to where the two brothers stood. “If ONE piece of candy gets past you motherfuckers and into the packing room unwrapped--”

“YOU WILL DIE,” a cartoon version of Satan boomed in his head, a sinister grin on his face.

Fucking Gabriel.

He was probably high on spiked candy from strangers or something.

“Yes, sir,” Luci muttered absentmindedly, staring off into the conveyor belt as if it held all the answers to the universe.

“LET ‘ER ROOOOOLL,” Balthazar shouted with pizzazz, his arms gesturing comically for the conveyor belt to move.

Nothing happened.

“LET ‘ER ROOOOOOOLL,” Balthazar repeated, his hand gestures even more wild. His face was the face of a very pissed alcoholic and semi-psychotic angel.

And still nothing happened. Gabe and Luci’s hands hovered over the belt expectantly, preparing themselves for the steady stream of chocolate that would soon approach them.

“LET ‘ER ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL,” Balthazar repeated for the final time, his chest heaving with the effort of maintaining such a loud decibel for such an extended period of time. His voice cracked at the end, a heavy inhale of air following soon after. Lucifer thought he might have lost his ability to hear for the rest of his natural life. Gabriel was too entranced with the cartoon characters in his head to even notice that one ear was bleeding.

“Well,” Balthazar huffed out. “Wait here, sOMEBODY’S asleep at the switch.” He stomped out of the room, Luci and Gabriel’s tense shoulders and stiff muscles relaxed away from Balthazar’s screaming and yelling. In the distance, the name ‘Castiel’ echoed from the hallway in Balthy’s booming voice. Gabe and Luci simultaneously flinched.

After a couple moments, the conmayor belt roared to life and Gabriel and Lucifer sat on their respetive stools. Soon, they found their rhyhythm and the time flew by as they wrapped chocolates on the conveyor belt.

“Oh, this is easier,” Lucifer noted esctatically as he picked up a wrapper, glancing at Gabe.

“Yeah, we can handle this okay,” Bagriel agreed with a grin, placing down a perfectly wrapped chocolate and watching as it made its way to the packing department.

Right after the words left Gabe’s mouth, the speed increased, making the two of them panic. They stuffed their faces with the candy they couldn’t wrap, their faces like the faces of chipmunkaflbglfs. Suddendly the converyor belt stopped and Balthazar rushed in.

“FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE, YOU’RE DOING SPLEDA-LY,” he slurred, vodka splashing everywhere. “SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED IT UP, CAS,” he yELLEd as he stormed out, panic on the two brothers faces. Muffled ‘gotta go fast’ played in the distance as Gabriel exploded from chocolate consumption. THe chocolate turned into hambugers and the worlds slowly melded into sepai. A comatose pickled shifted uneasily under the bun. Lucifer s eyes dialated as acid filled his brain. Sonic the Hedgehog rolled out of the conveyor belt in a seductive pose, singing along with the bakground radiation. Soncis eyes dialated into doki doki kawaii desu sparkle eyes.

A single chocolate made its way to the packing station unwrapped.

The universe held it’s breath simultaneously as it reached the end of the conveyor belt.

They were fired.