In our state every home approved for fostering is also approved as pre-adoptive so the state doesn’t have to do more work later if adoption comes up. However it’s encouraged for each home to know and communicate to the foster parent worker what your end preference is, as that can affect the type of placements you get called for.
When we started our journey almost 5 years ago, we were foster only. After our first two placements reunified we realized having kids in our home long term to permanently would be good. So we became pre-adoptive and received two cases more likely to go that way. We also had some other kids come and go as is the way of the system. Now that we adopted once and are tentatively set to adopt again this summer, we have realized our hearts are shifting back to foster only.
Last week we received this book in the mail and for me it perfectly sums up foster care from a foster only perspective. If you haven’t read it I would highly encourage it. Throughout we see the magic a safe guardian can have in a child’s life.
“‘I am not your mother,’ said the polar bear, ‘but I can cuddle you and keep you safe.’”
This to me is foster care when adoption is off the table for the foster family. I am not your mother, but I can do her job until she can do it herself or we can find someone who will. It’s a blessing and a curse and a sacred place to be called to in a fractured situation.
