Some time before I went from trans to ex-trans, I openly questioned whether my dissociative feelings and thoughts of being trapped in the wrong body were delusions. The trans ideology was shifting at that time and demanded more and more mental gymnastics; I was struggling to hold onto reality as it was. I was immediately questioned about who I'd been speaking to? Where did you get this from? They dropped names I'd never heard of and said they deserved to die for poisoning my mind.