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“No, it’s not bad, not to me. Paul really is my other half. We balance each other out. It sounds incredibly cliché, everything with him feels right,” I explain, looking over at Paul standing crossed-armed on the porch. I can feel a faint hum of worry coming from him, though his body language comes across as angry.  

I think Paul just lets people believe he has an explosive temper because it protects him from the truth. He can’t bear to see the people he cares about hurt. With fewer people willing to get close to him, the less opportunity for pain.

“But he imprinted on you,” Jacob says, his concern breaking my train of thought, “Do they just expect whoever they imprint on to go with it?”

“No, it’s not one-sided, Jake. You know, it’s actually pretty common, the idea of fated mates.”

This piques his curiosity. “Pretty common?”

“Yeah… in supernatural creatures,” I bite my lip, preparing for what comes next, “Most have their own versions of imprinting.”

“How do you know that?” he asks skeptically.

I stop walking, turning to face him, “Because… I am one. I’m not entirely human.”  

“What?” Jacob says breathily, a look of confusion on his face.

“I just want you to know, when we met, I had no idea that you would shift, or that even the Quileute’s had magic, or I would have told you. It’s been really hard not saying anything, especially when you were so upset with me,” my words spill out of my mouth faster than my brain can process them in a panic.

“Anna, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying… I’m saying that I am… I have magic,” I stutter out.

“You have magic?” He gives me an incredulous look.

“Yes,” I say, shoulders deflating.

It’s silent for a moment while Jacob looks me over frantically.

“How?” he asks.  

“My mom. She was a Fae Creature, which makes me half-Fae.”

“You’re joking,” he says looking away from me.

“I’m not,” I plead.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I couldn’t. The only people who knew were my parents. Then the Cullen’s basically snuffed me out at the beginning of the school year. Then I met Paul, so now they know. It all kind of spiraled before I knew it.”

Jacob doesn’t respond.  

“That’s not all,” I whisper, fingers pinching the bridge of my nose.  

“Great.”

“I said that imprinting isn’t just one-sided, which is true, but for me, it’s reciprocated on my end. Fae create soul bonds with people. Paul is mine.”  

He just scoffs. In the beat of silence, we continue our pace around the tree line.

“You really didn’t know this would happen to me?” Jacob speaks up.

I shake my head, “No, I didn’t, and when I found out, I wasn’t allowed to tell you.”

“That’s fucked.”

“Yeah, it is,” I nod, “You aren’t mad at me?” I question gently.  

Jacob shrugs, eyes on the ground, “I don’t know. This is just a lot.”  

“You’re right, it is, I just didn’t want you to find out from anyone but me.”  

“At least there’s that.” He nudges my shoulder, giving me a half-hearted smile. I sigh with relief.

“I’m sorry Jake.”  

“I am too, I was pretty awful to you,” he frowns.

I shrug noncommittedly, “I got over it pretty quickly.”  I figure that would make him feel better, but his brow furrows even more.

“I don’t deserve that,” he huffs out.

“Maybe, but I’m sure Paul will already give you grief about it. You don’t need to hear it twice, Jacob. Really, we can move past it.”

At the mention of Paul, Jacob balks a bit and looks up the house. Paul is not so subtly watching us still.

“Ugh, yeah. Does this mean I have to deal with him now?” He feigns annoyance, but his tone is twinged with worry,

“Sure does, but I genuinely think you guys will get along.”

“Hmph.”

“Welcome to the gang Jake,” I say slapping him on the shoulder as we make our way back to the house.  

“That’s not funny,” he states.

“Oh, on the contrary, it is very funny.”  

Jacob rolls his eyes, making me laugh. Maybe things will start to get better now, a semblance of normalcy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Jacob and Paul stare at each other from across the table. Paul doesn’t break the eye contact as Jacob shifts uncomfortably. There’s no malice in his stare, just caution.

It’s just the two of them here, Sam had made the decision that they needed to clear the air. The tension through the pack bond was too distracting while they were tracking down a particular vampire who had managed to evade them at every turn. With flashes of red hair all they could really make of her; they knew this one was deadly. More cunning than any other vampire they had encountered before.  

Jacob had gotten control of his shifts fairly quickly, faster than any of the other boys. After officially giving up his right as alpha to Sam, he fell into the rhythm of the pack naturally. All except for Paul, they both held a lot of tension towards each other.

Paul did give him grief about Anna. Paul, through the bond, had shown Jake all the struggles Anna had gone through in the last few months. Jacob had no idea how deep Bella’s depression went, and how much Anna had taken on as part of that.  

“She needed a friend,” Paul finally speaks up.  

“She has you,” Jake responds, guilt rising in his throat, making him defensive.

“Yeah, she does, but she missed you. You were the first person she connected with when she moved here.”  

“I have already apologized,” Jacob sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Paul scoffs, “She would never say it out loud, but she feels like you chose Bella over her.”  

This makes Jacob sit straight up in his chair.

“I didn’t,” he defends.

“It seems like it.”  

“Bella came to me, not the other way around.”  

“Don’t get me started on that,” Paul rolls his eyes.  

“What’s your problem with her?” Jacob’s voice rises, and Paul raises an eyebrow at him, noting his reaction.

“She’s self-centered,” he states plainly.

“She’s going through something.”  

“Yeah, her vampire boyfriend, who she protected, by the way, moved away after the leaches put both their lives in danger, and she completely broke down and left Anna to pick up the pieces.”

Jacob doesn’t have a response to that.  

“Maybe if we told Bella-” he starts, but Paul cuts him off.

“Absolutely not. The pack is the only support system Anna has besides Charlie. I’m not going to let you ruin that by bringing Bella into this. Besides, Alpha’s orders, no one knows.”

“Then why did you get to tell Anna? Jared and Kim?”

“That’s different and you know it,” he says through clenched teeth.

Jacob groans and slumps into his seat.  

“We don’t know if it’s different,” Jacob mutters.

Paul recognizes the sadness in his voice, and he sighs deeply. He wills the tension in his body to release as he leans closer to Jacob.

“Look,” Paul hesitates, his voice taking on a gentler tone, “Maybe I am being too hard on you, but Anna… she is everything to me. She is my whole world. Do you know what it felt like to watch her crumble over those few months? Pushing herself to exhaustion just to make sure she could protect her family? Seeing the light slowing being sucked from her? It physically hurt.” He pauses. Jacob can see he is uncomfortable being this honest about Anna and his feelings.

Paul clears his throat and continues, “Anna loves you, and she will suffer silently just for you to be happy. She will put herself on the line for all of us without even thinking. Her self-preservation doesn’t exist, Jake. If I’m not right behind her to catch her when she inevitably falls, she would break. Emotionally and physically.”

“Why not just put yourself on the line instead?” Jacob questions.

A dry laugh rips from Paul’s throat, “You don’t think I’ve tried? She’s stubborn to a fault. Jacob, we might be physically stronger and faster than her, but she is more powerful. She doesn’t let on about it, because she is worried about putting people in danger, but I can feel it. She is a force to be reckoned with, she just doesn’t know it.”  

“Yeah… she is.”  

“I do my best to keep her safe, and around you, I can’t help but get the feeling she’s in danger of getting hurt,” Paul levels with him, leaning back in his chair and exhales.

“Hurt? I would never hurt her,” Jacob cries out, flinching at the thought.

“Maybe not physically, but you’ve already managed to hurt her emotionally,” Paul points out. This deflates Jacob.

“I’m sorry. I know I fucked up, and I know it’s going to take more than an apology to fix it, but I mean it when I say I regret it all,” he admits.  

Paul nods, “I know. Just, be her friend. Let her know you’re there for her. She’s always going to be there for you.”

“I am her friend,” he quips.  

“Then, act like it.”  

Jacob just nods, Paul stands up, clapping a hand on his shoulder.  The tension between them chipped away. While still present, they understand each other more now.

“I know none of us wanted this life, but I’m glad you can at least be a part of hers now,” Paul says genuinely.

“I am too.”  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Is Charlie going to lecture me about this?” Paul asks me, fingers gently trailing up and down my side. We were on the couch, my back pressed against his chest on a late Friday morning. I skipped school for a needed mental health day. The past week had been such a roller coaster between Jacob and Bella, I just needed a day alone with Paul.

“No, mainly because he doesn’t know yet,” I shrug.

“Anna!” Paul gapes.

“It’ll be fine! I’m going to text him and tell him I don’t feel good and left. I’m 18, I can sign myself out.”

Paul groans and playfully pushes me away as I grip the edge of the sofa.

“Hey! You’re going to make me fall!”

His arm wraps back around my waist, “You know I wouldn’t let you fall,” he whispers into my ear.

“I actually don’t know that. You have a very twisted sense of humor,” I whisper back. I feel his chest vibrate with a laugh.

“I’m hurt.”

“Good,” I say, turning to face him, “Are you excited about your birthday next week?” I say gently and am met with a groan, Paul hiding his face by leaning on my shoulder.

“Hey!” I say, “Twenty is a big deal!”

“Yeah, now instead of being a teenager with no plans for the future, I’ll be twenty with no plans for the future,” he mumbles into me, not lifting his head.

“That’s not true,” I lift his head gently and kiss him softly, “We’ve talked about the future, what we want to do after this.”

His face hardens and he lets out a sharp sigh, sitting up abruptly, but still making sure I was steady.

“Yeah, but it’s just talking Anna. You’re going to college; you’re going to do something with your life. And I’ll be here, holding you back, dragging you down by being stuck here,” he rubs his eyes as I scoot up to a sitting position. I don’t want to argue with him about how he feels in La Push. We both know he won’t be able to leave until the vampire situation calms down yet again, and there’s no real timeline on that.

I hesitate, deciding to focus on the other part of his complaint, “About that… I actually don’t think I’m going to go to college right away. So please don’t worry about feeling like you are holding me back. You aren’t.”

“What?” he snaps, looking at me with a shocked expression.

“Yeah,” I continue, “I’ve been thinking about it. I want to take a gap year. I just think it would be too much for me. It hasn’t been long since my parents died, and major life changes give me anxiety. Adjusting to yet another new place is overwhelming to think about. I think I just want to have a quiet year. I know we might not get “quiet” in the traditional sense. But I would feel better staying around Forks. Take some time to figure out what I want, what we want.”

“When did you decide this?” He questions. I was worried he was going to react badly to this, but instead, he was looking at me like he understands. He’s not mad at all, he feels relief and then guilt.

“Around the time I got control of my inheritance.” I flinch mentioning yet another thing I haven’t told him about.

“Inheritance?”

I nod, “Yeah, my parents left me everything. I just wasn’t allowed access until I was 18.”

I can see the question in his eyes.

“It’s… a lot. Honestly, I was just as shocked as you are. College will be paid for whenever I decide to go. If I want to, I can be comfortable without it. I can take the year.”

“How? You didn’t tell me you were rich,” he states with a frown.

“I’m not, at least, I didn’t grow up like I was. We laid low for the most part. I guess it makes sense thinking back. It’s easy to hide when you have the funds. They just never told me, and I never asked.”

I pause, “I realize that makes me sound like an entitled brat, but really, we just never talked about money.”

Paul is uncomfortable, I can feel it. Money is a touchy subject for a lot of people.

“Listen, my mom was very old when she met my dad, she didn’t age until she gave up her magic. She had who knows how many decades to save and collect. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, it was just a lot to go through with Charlie and their lawyer.”

Paul’s eyebrows shoot up at the mention of my mom.

“Wait, what about you?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, tilting my head.

“Will you also not age?”

“Oh,” I gulp, “I probably will. So far it’s been normal.”

“Probably?”

I sigh, “I don’t really know, not many people like me exist, it’s always kind of been a guess. Most Fae stop aging when they reach maturity. The people with less Fae blood than me, when able to live and die of old age, usually live into the early 100’s.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” He stands up.

“Because I knew it would lead to the discussion of whether or not you would keep shifting. I don’t want my life span to be a part of that choice,” I stand up too, grabbing his hands in mine.

“I don’t think it is a choice, Anna,” he shakes his head, fingers intertwining with mine.

“It should be,” I breathe.

“What would it do to you if I died?”

I freeze, and my heart skips a beat even thinking about it.

“Exactly,” he says. He could feel my reaction, and I curse under my breath. Placing my hand on the side of his face, I stare into his eyes earnestly.

“You hate this, Paul,” I say softly, “You shouldn’t continue to shift if you don’t want to.”

“I love you more,” he says unblinking. I am the one to break eye contact, resting my forehead on his chest. He kisses the top of my head and his hands run down my back.

“It’s not fair that I am torturing you like this,” I insist.

“I would gladly be tortured if it means more time with you,” Paul responds, voice firm, “I am completely yours, Anna. I would do anything and everything for you.”

That leaves me speechless.

“Think about the silver lining. If they’re lucky, most people get a few decades with the person they love. We can have so much time together,” he continues.

He pauses, lifting my head and tucking my hair behind my ear, before whispering, “I don’t have to lose you.”

“You don’t think I’ve ruined your life?” I gasp out. He presses a bruising kiss onto my lips, hands holding my head.

“Never baby, you could never. But I wish you told me sooner,” he whispers into the kiss.

“I’m sorry,” I say, but he just shakes his head, shushing me with his lips.

When he pulls away, he begins again, “Besides, soul connections span across lifetimes, right?”

I nod.

“Good. One lifetime could never be enough. I’ll get love you in every version of us.”

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