Jul 11, 2020
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#1- Rambling Thoughts
I have been extremely down on myself these past few months thanks to a million and a half rejections in my job search. Being unemployed and fresh out of college leaves way too much free time for negative thoughts to circle in my brain. They just keep circling and circling and I sit on this website typing in new words to the search bar over and over. I do not know what I am searching for to help me, but words have always fascinated me and kept my mind busy. If I have a quote flipping circles in my brain then it is better than the negativity that sits there otherwise. Today I looked up the word forgiveness and spent ages scrolling through snippets of literature discussing the topic and I found myself wondering if I need to forgive myself for having such negative thoughts all the time. I feel weak for letting these rejections affect how I feel about myself. I blame myself for not pursuing aĀ āmore complicated degreeā. I wonder if I am already a failure at the age of 23. Rationally, it makes no sense. I can still think rationally. I can. If I can forgive myself maybe I can feel lighter. What does it mean to forgive myself? I donāt know. I just know I want to stop feeling this way. I want to stop waking up and blaming myself. I want to figure out how to do it. I will start by eating up the words this site has to offer and I hope that digesting them willĀ provide some sort of energy.Ā
#Conageddon Bellarke Panel & few other photos from the weekend. Eliza got so excited when she thought Jo announced #The100 got renewed for S6! Jo & Bob corrected Eliza, but she absolutely wants a S6. Eliza didn't even know Clarke's gun strap had the names of those she's lost carved into it. A fan showed her & she was like, "Whaaat!? Why didn't they tell me!" Bob couldn't believe she didn't notice it. Eliza reminded everyone she's still a blonde. Lol. Eliza does not currently have any projects on the burner. Bob is waiting on word about a project being filled in Mexico. They told everyone they've looked out for each other since day one of their 'table read' for the show. Watch the panel via Conageddon Facebook Live. #The100 #ElizaTaylor #BobMorley #ClarkeGriffin #BellamyBlake #Bellarke #The100cast #The100Season5 #Together #Trust #Forgivess
A daily prayer. Father we thank you for your forgiveness and mercy that comes through our belief in your son, Jesus Christ.
GOD'S RESPONSE IS NOT FOR THE PROUD - Apostle John Chi SERMON #ArkofGodt...
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Revive Us Again!
Psalm 85:4-6. TurnĀ us, O GodĀ of our salvation,Ā and cause Thine angerĀ toward us to cease. Wilt Thou be angryĀ with us for ever?Ā wilt Thou draw outĀ Thine angerĀ to allĀ generations? Wilt Thou not reviveĀ us again:Ā that Thy peopleĀ may rejoiceĀ in Thee? The psalmist is using rhetorical questions in these verses. God has already forgiven, already restored. What is being asked here is that it continue.ā¦
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Regarding Iniquity in the Heart
Psalm 66:18-20. If I regardĀ iniquityĀ in my heart,Ā the LordĀ will not hearĀ me: ButĀ verilyĀ GodĀ hath heardĀ me; He hath attendedĀ to the voiceĀ of my prayer. BlessedĀ beĀ God,Ā which hath not turned awayĀ my prayer,Ā nor His mercyĀ from me. To regard iniquity in oneās heart is to look at, see, regard, look after, see after, learn about, observe, watch, look upon, look out, find out. The sense here is toā¦
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Forgiveness - Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela: "After I became president, I asked one day some members of my close protection to stroll with me in the city, have lunch at one of its restaurants. We sat in one of the downtown restaurants and all of us asked for some sort of food."
"After a while, the waiter brought us our requests, I noticed that there is someone sitting in front of my table waiting for food"*
I told then one of the soldiers: go and ask that person to join us with his food and eat with us. The soldier went and asked the man so. The man brought up his food and sat by my side as I asked and began to eat. His hands were trembling constantly until everyone had finished their food and the man went. The soldier said to me: The man was apparently quite sick. His hands trembled as he ate!"
"No, not at all," said Mandela.
"This man was the guard of the prison where I was jailed.
"Often, after the torture I was subjected to, I used to scream and ask for a little water.
"The very same man used to come every time and urinate on my head instead".
"So I found him scared, trembling, expecting me to reciprocate now, at least in the same way, either by torturing him or imprisoning him as I am now the president of the state of South Africa."
"But this is not my character nor part of my ethics"
"The mentality of retaliation destroys states, while the mentality of tolerance builds nations.*