Peer into my muse’s memories!
Guilt.
Hm. Now wasn’t that a concept Rush was all too familiar with.
As a survivor, it was difficult to be the one that lives- to rationalise
that fate chose you over so many others. Being a soldier to the
Republic, and a survivor of the Great Jedi Purge left Rush with
much in the way of Survivor’s Guilt. It blurred out much of the true
guilt she possessed from the personal wrongdoings that littered
her past.
A specific memory of guilt was tricky for her to narrow down. With
all the bad habits she’d taken up over the years to cope, she had
disappointed many people close to her. Each look from them caused
a pang of guilt in her.
She had let them down.
Again.
Though despite all of that, there was one time she both felt
legitimately guilty, and was found legally guilty by a system she
actually cared about.
Poor Rodian bastard.
Celebrating her recent promotion to General of the 3rd Divison,
Rush and her men rejoiced. Drinks, dancing, and humorous
tales from the frontlines.
A brilliant evening.
Spoiled by some drunk Rodian who thought that it might be
appropriate to insult Clone Troopers. In a bar that catered specifically
to Clone Troopers.
Safe to say fists and bottles began to fly fast. Rush, caught up in
the moment and the liquor, joined in, diving straight for the Rodian,
challenging him in hand-to-hand combat. The dumbass thought very
little of the buzzed teen before him.
Oh how wrong was he.
By the time the Coruscant Guard showed up, Rush was on top of
him, laying blow after blow into his stupid face. Fox just about tackled
her off of him. Only later, in her cell, waiting for her Mother Master,
Shaak Ti, to come and bail her out, did she truly feel the guilt set in
as the alcohol wore off.
Funny.
Her first fight, not on the battlefield, and its the one conflict she feels
the most guilt about.
Still, it was a good night.
Even if there was a bit of guilt attached to it.