#foreverwithshinee

Thank you...for EVERYTHING. We love you ♥ ALWAYS

I read a lot of people talking about it. And I sat and thought hard about it myself. There are so many multitudes of emotions that I am feeling right now. I can’t even think straight at this point.

The past two years have been rough for me personally. But last December was undoubtedly the worst part of my life up until now. Even now, like many other fans, I have trouble picking up the broken pieces of my heart and get my life back on track. I occasionally break down and everything seems pointless.

But every time I see our SHINee boys and everything they’re doing lately, like Key’s regular insta updates and being on two shows, Minho resuming his schedules, Taemin performing in Concerts, and being a part of Why Not: The Dancer, and seeing Jinki just smile that genuinely happy, cute crescent moon-eyed, toothy smile; my heart blooms with joy. And I am so proud of my boys for staying so strong and continuing as SHINee.

My pain, the pain of the rest of the fandom; even if all of it was accumulated together, it’d never amount to SHINee’s pain, Jjong’s family and friends’ pain. However, pain is pain. And there is no way to change what the heart feels. Regardless of whether we met Jjong, knew him personally, or were just fans who never met him; it’s a hard time for all of us.

Even after the letters they wrote to us, up until this point where they announced their comeback, many of us doubted whether SHINee would actually continue or not. Although I wasn’t one of them, but I understand that there might have been people who doubted it. But my boys have been so strong and decided to carry SHINee’s name and Jonghyun’s memories.

It might be rude and even offending for some when I say this; but I believe Jonghyun believed that the members would continue SHINee’s name even after he was gone with his memories and shine brighter on the stages that they will perform on in the future. That he believed that they’d keep his believes, his style of music, his passion, and his spirit alive in each song that they sing from here on. And I believe Jonghyun would want us to love and support SHINee even more on behalf of him.

I don’t expect the songs of this comeback to be upbeat or anything like their usual style. A loss of a person who is as dear as family is something that I don’t think our boys would ever be able to forget. And although it might be hard for all of us, especially Blingers, to see a stage where there are only 4 members performing physically or listen to a song where Jonghyun’s voice isn’t included; but I hope all of us can support the boys even more this time around than before... That the fan chants will forever have Jjongie’s name mentioned... That Jonghyun will forever live in our hearts.

I believe Jonghyun will be forgotten and cease to exist if SHINee stops shining (performing) on stage. Lee Soo Man named SHINee in the context of “those who receive light”. For almost 10 years, SHINee has been our guiding light. They’ve shined their light upon us. Isn’t this the time for us to be their light? Can’t this be the least we can do for our boys after everything they’ve done for us, and everything they’ve gone through?

To be honest, I am extremely emotional right now. It’s SHINee’s 10th anniversary. But physically Jjongie isn’t here with us. I miss my baby so much. I don’t want to see a stage with only 4 members performing physically. I don’t want to see clips of the 10th Anniversary fan-meet with only 4 members. But not cheering on my boys who are trying their best is not what I can do. Jonghyun isn’t present with us physically. But he lives in each one of our hearts. That’s why, with a heart that will continue to love Jonghyun until my last breath; this time, I’ll cheer for my boys louder than I’ve ever cheered before... even though I live seven seas away.

I hope the rest of SHINee World does the same. And if you can’t bring yourself to do so just yet, that’s fine too. You are important, each and every single one of you. Take your time, and allow your heart to heal. It would hurt our Jjongie the most to see you in pain.

Where are the Shawol seats?

Me in 15 years when I am 70...still a Shawol, still going to concerts, and still loving SHINee :)  ♥ Forever with SHINee ♥ Forever a Shawol ♥

Today there was a “Fan” (note the sarcasm) who said that only Key misses Jonghyun and that the other members’ tears were fake.

I didn’t bother wasting my time getting angry at antis. We know what’s the truth. But what does concern me is that, more s than we think, the members are well aware of the conflicts we’re having in the fandom.

It’s our 10th anniversary. 10 years of being together. Regardless of when we joined the fandom, be it 10 years or 10 days, we’ve witnessed and become a part of something so beautiful and the fact that we are together sharing a mutual feeling of love for and finding comfort thanks to SHINee is something worth celebrating.

Yes, there are people who still find it hard to support SHINee. Yes, there are those who can’t or rather find it hard to support SHINee after what happened. But please don’t let that become a reason to stir conflicts between those who can or can’t support SHINee. At one point of time, we’ve all been with SHINee with the same heart. So, be mindful of what you say and let’s not say anything that hurts one another.

Today, Key said that although it would be nice if Jonghyun was here with us we should learn to accept what has happened and continue our lives together. That doesn’t mean that they’ve moved on. Yes, they’ve been continuously for the past few months. And many fans felt that it seemed like they’re moving on. But no, they’ve never moved on. They’re just growing stronger. And that’s because they believe that one day they will meet again.

I didn’t blog on SHINee’s Anniversary on the 25th. i couldn’t bring myself to write anything. Or rather, I had no idea what to write. It was a day full of a roller coaster of emotions. At the end of the day, just before I had guests coming over I balled my eyes out, cried until even breathing hurt, until my body lay shaking on the cold marble floor, until my eyes burned from all the crying... But I picked myself up a moment later, wearing my brightest smile. Laughing and smiling like nothing was wrong. For someone who never even met Jonghyun in person, I’ve been miserable these past 5, almost 6 now, months. So can you imagine the extend of pain that the members are hiding behind their smile as they go through each day?

They haven’t moved on. They’re just enduring through their hardships and trying to grow stronger. Please don’t say that their tears are fake, or that they seem to have moved on too quickly. While trying to vent our own feelings and emotions, please don’t say words that may hurt another person’s sentiments.

SHINee is always Five. No damned thing in the entire freaking Universe can ever change that. For fans who have been having a hard time coping; it’s fine to be in pain. It’s fine to not be able to support them any longer. It’s fine if you decide to leave. No one will blame you. But please don’t say that the members seemed to have moved on. This isn’t directed towards all of those who have decided to leave or left already, but rather to those few who have said so. So, no offense.

For those who have decided to support SHINee from here on; let’s support SHINee with everything we got. Cheering louder than we’ve ever done before for all 5 of them. And please don’t blame or criticize those Shawols who have left or decided to leave. Again, it’s not directed to all of you but to the few who’ve said so. So, no offense.

We’re celebrating 10 years of togetherness. Shawols can’t exist without SHINee. Had SHINee not been formed by SM, we’d never experience all the beautiful things we have experienced as Shawols. Similarly, SHINee won’t be able to go on if we no longer stand by them. We are each a big part of the others’ life... SHINee in Shawols’ lives. And Shawols in SHINee’s lives. Regardless, of what we are now, or how we feel right now; we once shared the same feeling towards each other. So let’s respect and love each other like we had been doing for 10 years.

Happy 10th Anniversary to SHINee and Shawols. We’ve made this happen together. We’ve come so far together. And that’s all because we’ve been there for each other at some point in time. Thank you for making this happen. Thank you for all these memories.