#forever delayed

by someone who somehow has every single record they’ve ever put out and only regrets it sometimes. Usually in the middle of the night.

Generation Terrorists (1992).  WE ARE THE CLASH EXCEPT WE WEAR EYELINER AND CARE ABOUT POLITICS AND SOCIAL JUSTICE.

Gold Against the Soul (1993). Brief cock rock phase. We kinda want to be Guns ‘n’ Roses, except sexier.

The Holy Bible (1994). Society is corrupt, everything is terrible, we hate relationships, and we want to kill everyone. Challenge to make singable melody out of list of tyrannical leaders’ names? ACCEPTED.

Everything Must Go (1996). LET’S FORGET ALL THAT AND DO SOME STADIUM ROCK ABOUT BOOZE

This is My Truth Tell Me Yours (1998). Shakespearean tragedy featuring harmonicas and slide guitar. Also known as “Nicky is sad and misses Richey, Part 1″.

Know Your Enemy (2001). Hey guys, sorry for selling out like that. Here, have something so bizarre and hardcore that we had record it in another country. Arrghh. Grrrrr. Demos. Record scratches. Hrrghh. 

Forever Delayed (2002). We’re being lazy so here’s a pointless best-of compilation with some pop singles about God

Lipstick Traces (2003). It’s a cool, edgy album of bsides! ... except it fucking lacks both “Too Cold Here” AND “Love Torn Us Under”, which makes it ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT (”Judge Yr’self” almost makes up for it, though. Almost. ALMOST)

Lifeblood (2004). More Shakespearean stuff, even poppier this time. Man, we love harmonicas. Otherwise known as “Nicky Is sad and misses Richey, Part 2″.

Send Away the Tigers (2007). Wish we were young again, let’s sing about revolution and shit and actually put guitar solos back into our songs

Journal for Plague Lovers (2009). All those skeletons in Richey’s closet? HERE YOU GO! Sex and guilt and self-mutilation! And... great pop melodies. Thanks, James.

National Treasures (2011). Another best of. Don’t worry, you don’t have to buy this, we’re under contract to put shit out, sorry

Postcards from a Young Man (2012). This is secretly the best album we’ve put out in 15 years but nobody’s going to care because there’s no scandal to go with it. Mother fucker.

Rewind the Film (2013). Tragedy, guest singers, and old people playing chess. AKA “Nicky is sad and misses Richey, Part 3″.   

Futurology (2014). Yeah so, this is the album we really meant to release but somehow REWIND THE FILM happened instead — sorry about that

Resistance is Futile (2018). Man, we’re old. Fancy a pint and a bath with epsom salts?