#force book

I don't condone cheating and if it were me, I would never forgive Top. But Top and Mew's relationship is so realistic like it reminds me that it takes two, that both partners need to put in the work.

Sure, Top's the guilty one, he made a mistake that's incredibly hard to forgive and impossible to forget. But he's actively making up for it and trying to be a better person. So, when Mew decided to give the relationship another try, shouldn't he also actively try to forgive Top and trust him again?

I've always seen cheating as a me vs you thing, but TopMew perfectly showed that it's an us vs the problem. Human relationship isn't black and white. Top shouldn't be reduced to the mistake he made. And Mew isn't entitled to hurt and punish Top to make himself feel better.

Relationship isn't about winning or losing, it's not about having the upper hand, it's about teamwork. It's forgiveness, it's communication, it's willingly putting our pride aside to tackle on the problem.

I saw on tiktok someone comparing Samantha & Charlotte's love style and neither's better or more right than the other, but I feel like it applies to Ray and Top too, especially now we can compare how Mew behaves when he's romantically with Top and Ray.

Top is an Add-er

From the get go, he's introduced as this top-tier guy; hot, fit, rich, confident, competent, he knows what he wants and he gets what he wants. Someone like Top and Samantha are Add-ers, it means relationships aren't necessary, they're nice to have and need to add better or more positive things into their lives.

Top "settles down" for Mew simply because he likes him. He makes him happier and healthier. He provides comfort and a safe space for Top to be vulnerable. He isn't after his money, fame, or his top-tier status, Mew likes Top for who he is. That's why when Mew asked Top to stop doing drugs etc, he complies because he's actually self-aware and he knows drugs isn't good for him. So, with the support from his boyfriend, Top successfully left his old lifestyle for his own benefit.

Ray is an Integrator

On the other hand, Ray, equally hot, fit, rich, and confident in his own way is an Integrator. Meaning, he's supposed to change even fundamental parts of himself for his partner. Integrators prefer to merge their life with their partner's, combining their identities, interests, and lifestyles because that's what connection means to them. However, different from Charlotte's, Ray's integrator style is influenced by a bunch of unresolved traumas and a history of addiction.

Ray is literally incapable of changing his lifestyle to meet Mew's. So, instead of integrating Mew into him, he integrates his shitty lifestyle into Mew. And Mew's going along with it because he's rebounding hurt, he's angry, and he's lost.

But, but, but, but fact is, Ray has found someone who already fits into his lifestyle in the first place. That's why I think he's somewhat confused and internally struggling to decide what he should do about his connection to Sand.

Regardless of their love styles