#folykill

❝ Dwelling on the past is useless. ❞

❝ I know. ❞

❝ So you know there would've been no convincing her until this very moment. ❞

❝ I know. ❞

❝ And- ❞

❝ I know, okay? I get it. Everything is inevitable and foretold and whatever- that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. ❞

❝ It doesn't have to. ❞

❝ But it will. ❞

❝ I think you like being miserable, I think you've forgotten how to be anything else. ❞

❝ Uh huh. Sure. ❞

❝ She is still alive, is that not a good thing? ❞

❝ She's barely responding to anything. I doubt she'd let a life player near her, I doubt she'd want to go wading around the life temple's waters— most of the sprites are still missing. Sure, she's alive. For how long? ❞

❝ Difficult. Reminds me of someone. ❞

☏: A voice message from my muse.

"Hey."

[There's strain in their voice, managed but still notable. An effort is being made to keep their voice even.]

"I don't remember if I told you.. last time I stopped by- the days are kind of blurring together, but."

[A pause.]

"No.. I think I did. I messaged you, about the whole dying thing. Just wanted to make sure you were in the loop about that."

[Another pause. Longer.]

❝ I've heard of voidrot before, but that's all it's been really— that thing unlucky psionics get stuck with. ❞

❝ So, I don't know how much I'm helping. Or if I'm helping at all. ❞

..—

❝ I mean.. it's not like I'm getting nothing out of it, I'm not selfless. She's taking a bunch of excess psi off my hands. ❞

❝ I probably just like having some crisis to manage. Some futile effort to struggle against so I can pat myself on the back and say "congrats you were somewhat bearable" this month. A purpose. ❞

..—

❝ And then, I think she wants it to be a quad thing. ❞

...?

❝ Yeah, being worried about a guy dying is textbook pity. It's not like she pulled it out of nowhere. ❞

❝ I think she'd probably feel.. more secure? If it was a quadrant thing. In the way that I'd have an ongoing responsibility as her partner not to let her die. ❞

❝ But, y'know, even if I felt that sort of way about her.. I'm not stable enough for any sort of relationship. ❞

...

ehehehehe fine

bro reads books instead of talking to real trolls the librariannahilator doesn't want to pail you

@folykill