#foldupbed

I have the most upsetting of things to talk about...and it begins with a little word called fu, as in...futons. FUCKING FOLD UP BEDS. They're the DEVIL.

I had the best bed where I used to live, and now I am demoted, downgraded, shoved into poverty by the black magic of the futon. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE!? To fold up your bed every morning?! It's fucking embarrassing...and your bendable sleep-mangler just taunts you. "Hey, I am going to make you work for this shitty night's sleep. You have to yank up AND out to get me going...no easy shit for you." 

Don't even get me started on putting it AWAY. Oh, man, here I go.. You wake up, after a night of sleeping on springs that poke you in every uncomfortable spot in the whole universe, and then you look at your bed..It looks fucking funny if you leave it as a bed, and God forbid someone sits on it and knows that you sleep on the shittiest of all shit mattresses. So what do you do? You fold that bitch right back up again..

"Yea that's right, fold me up like you fold up your dreams. Forget about this room ever looking like a normal bedroom. You are the weirdo with the couch. You're tired you just want to go to bed? Plop down like you do important shit? Too bad bro, fucking unfold me first."

Damn futons, disgusting...