#fojleesin

The white haired girl let out a long, low moan, shuffling down the hallway in a daze. Her entire body was on fire, muscles clenching, as a cold sweat ran down her spine. Ten minutes ago, she thought nothing of telling Ahri her woes with her sex life, and two drinks later, she left the bar feeling eased of her burden. 

That was, until, she reached the entrance to the Institute. Like magic, as soon as her foot reached the steps, her body ignited into a ball of tension and urges. At first, she thought it was bearable, nothing more than a fever, but with each growing step, it became apparent that this was no medical issue. It was the infamous charm of the fox woman, a cunning temptress that could reduce any being to its knees. 

Her stomach flipped, causing another sultry hiss to escape her lips, as she thrashed against the wall, glancing around to make sure that she was indeed alone. 

Slamming her fist on the wall, she made a mad dash towards the only man who she was confident could relieve her of this hellish torment. 

It was funny, how good Lux had gotten at avoiding the Blind Monk. A cowardly move, sure, but Lux was pretty certain that he didn't want to see her any more than necessary. Also...it may have had something to do with the fact that it was painful to think of their last encounter. Despite the time, Lux hadn't ever gotten over the fact that she'd wounded him so deeply.

"Take your best shot Lee Sin."

Words...words could heal...but they could hurt too-

"Ow! I'm sorry-"

It was as if her thoughts had summoned him, and it was ironic that she'd banged into the one person she'd been avoiding. Staring at the monk Lux realised that she hadn't even picked up any pieces - she'd merely swept them under the carpet that was her lying to herself...and now they were back, shards of glass to cut into her heart.

"I'm sorry," she repeated quietly. "I-I should be more careful."

JARVAN IF YOU GET INVOLVED IN THIS I SWEAR NOTHING WILL STOP ME FLIPPING ALL THE TABLES IN THE WORLD…

She was a coward. She knew that. She'd known it for weeks, ever since she'd first run from him.

Lee Sin deserved better than that. 

And she knew it.

It was a gash in her soul, that she'd avoided him for so long. She kept telling herself that she wasn't ready to speak to him, but in reality she was too scared.

You're a coward. No wonder Demacia could break you so easily.

It was funny how that voice sounded a lot like her trainer's. Since when had he gotten into her mind?

A nudge startled her out of her mood, and she looked up as a summoner apologised before bustling on their way down the hall. Lux looked around...

The door to Lee Sin's room met her vision, the nameplate glinting almost mockingly at her, seeming to glare. Lux took a step back, her back hitting the wall.

Lux finished her meal and put her fork down. Not satisfied with its arrangement, she began nudging the utensil around on the plate, something about the silver object bugging her. At last she shoved the tray away with a groan, but that didn't last long - she then began to toy with her glass of water.

"Milady?"

At the voice, Lux looked up. She shot the person a polite smile as they reached for her tray. 

"Some tea, Lady Lux?" the woman asked her.

 “The secret ingredient to the tea is Gragas’ home brew fire mead, mixed with chi tea.”

Lux knocked over her glass. She was barely aware of the woman exclaiming her surprise as the liquid spilled over the table. "I...I'm sorry. N-No I don't want tea, thank you..." Muttering apologies, she stood up and left the mess hall hastily, aware of the woman's bemused gaze following her from the room.

Lux thought it had gotten better, but she was beginning to think that maybe she was just getting better at hiding the truth from herself, and the truth was that she missed Lee Sin terribly. Even after all this time, it still didn't take much to set her off about Lee Sin.

She'd failed her friend, and that was all she could see.

She slowly became aware that she was leaning on a wall in a nondescript area of the Institute, her cheeks wet. Even as she became aware of her surroundings, more tears trickled down her cheeks.

“I’ll leave you to your thoughts. Don’t kill yourself over it, OK? I burned for two months. I can wait for an answer.”

 “There is nothing to be sorry for, Lux.”

"Liar."

Lux hadn't realised she'd spoken aloud until the word echoed down the empty hall. It felt good to speak, so she did so again, louder. "LIAR!"

And then suddenly she was crying so hard, sinking down to the ground, her sobs shaking her entire frame. Because she knew the truth, now, as she had then.

Lee Sin had lied to her, and she'd seen his lies.

She'd seen his lies, and let herself believe them anyway.

"There is everything to be sorry for!"

There was everything to be sorry for, then and now, because this was all her fault, and Lux curled in the hallway, her entire being heaving with sobs, as she finally succumbed to the knowledge that she would never be able to save Lee Sin like he did her.

Outside Lee Sin's room was not a place Lux wanted to be. She was here to speak to him...well, more accurately, she was here to do something that she did not want to do.

It had to be done though. She couldn't leave this hanging - it was not who she was.

So, she was here, outside his room, standing there. She raised a hand to knock  before hesitating. Could she-

Yes, she had to. Lee Sin deserved that much.

Dear Diary,

…

Lee Sin is a good man and…

Well that’s all I can say, right? There’s nothing really

He has such a lovely heart and I bro

I have a great deal of respect for the man and we’re close friends, and what’s happened between us might change that

((Ok, so im leaving soon, thought i should start this before i go. Its sudden, sure, but...well...whatever.))

Mere days had passed since the monk had seen Lux, but so much had happened. After going to the high summoners, they had told Lee Sin that, since he had very little proof that Lux's parents had done it, they could not try the Crownguards. However, they had sworn to have a discreet talking to the Demacian government, and had been assured that the Crownguards would never harm their daughter again. He hoped it would be enough. 

Swift feet took the monk to Lux's room, but he hesitated. He couldn't tell her. There was no way she would accept him. He was just her friend and he had to realize that.