Player Therapy
DM - "And how are you feeling about this."
Player - "You're the DM, not my fucking psychiatrist."
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Player Therapy
DM - "And how are you feeling about this."
Player - "You're the DM, not my fucking psychiatrist."

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Crapping yourself
While describing a horror scene with moving flesh.
DM - "Inside the cubicle is someone sitting on the toilet. They are now a skeleton. There's no flesh on the body, but in the bowl of the toilet there is a lot of it."
Player - "I guess you could say that they shit themselves."
Menstrual Magic
Yes. This is the level.
Fun with D4's #1... Feeling Horny.
Player Death
When a player character dies in DnD.
DM:

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Critical Arse
When a giant mole-like creature is trying to burrow away during combat and a player throws dynamite at it.
Player - Are we still seeing its arse?
DM - Yep. It's a critical arse.
Blood, feathers and a bit of cum
When one player's character tries to screw another player's character.
DM - "Roll for initiative!"
Player - "You just got pranked by the prank patrol."
Assuming Control
Player - "Actions are being put into my fists again without my consent."