#fmbl

Dueling (fucking terrible!🤣) pianos with friend 1 who continues to friend me despite me being a judgy bossy asshole (which she sneaks into every reading). She makes a lot for her readings because she is legit as fuck. She sees dead people but she has never told me about mine and I’ve never asked.

We are going to roadtrip and torture @ladameblanc again but this time mostly to torture her but the also we are gonna go try to be on the Price is Right because life is so fucking short and I’ve realized my part in this world is to inspire you all to your greatness.

Take risks, break stupid rules, help your neighbor when no one is watching, stop being used, everything is an illusion and you are trapped by that. When you lose everything you Only gain a new opportunity to reinvent your life. You ARE the bull and the horns and life, grab on.

So friend one is hiking with friend two tomorrow and I was not invited. I’m a little butt hurt honestly and that’s so dumb because I really have zero interest in going and friend two knows that so why would she invite me. She’s starved for friends to do shit like that with and I knew they would enjoy each other and that is why I introduced them so why would I be neurotic about it?

I have a tiny Mexican friend who is a legit ride or die. We’ve been through some shit and she likes to start fights and we’ve travelled together. She’s found real love and the punk rock life she’s always wanted so we don’t hang as much anymore but we will always have each other’s back. She is brutally honest and will call anyone to the floor.

She loved to have parties and we kinda formed a group between her friends and my store friends. She had a bestie and the three of us were thick as thieves for 5 or 10 minutes. There was some background swinger action going on that I kind of got sucked into the galaxy drama that surrounded that and it ruined that friendship. It’s been civically repaired but with extreme caution from all sides.

This is long. My bad. Tiny friend shared with me how she felt about shared friendships after that and I actually feel that to my core. Now I am respectful of her friendships and have fun with her friends but don’t form real realationships with them. Civil ones, cards, gifts, see you next time you are in town. Not, drop buy unannounced and let myself in and borrow your deodorant kind of relationships.

Now I kind of feel that. It’s so dumb but I’m a tiny bit territorial about my friendships but also I deeply need a tribe and those two thoughts are very contidictory.

I still don't have a cellular telephone.

I just never have had one, and I don't really see the appeal.

But there isn't any local service for the land line any more, so I guess I need to get something. It's unpleasant. I dislike cordless electronics because I lose them so easily.

Also I can't use touch screens. Something about my blood apparently? I have weird blood and weirder circulation. Touchscreens either don't register me at all or do really random stuff.

So I need buttons. But they have to be full size, because I also have weird skin on my hands. I can't push tiny buttons, they just kind of sink in. It's the same reason I could never play strings. I don't make callous the right way and then it just falls off. Stupid princess skin.

What I really need is some kind of dial.

I wonder if there are any rotary cellular telephones.

Maybe a rotary cellular telephone with a charging port that I could hang up somewhere. I bet I could use that.

I still don't have a cellular telephone.

I just never have had one, and I don't really see the appeal.

But there isn't any local service for the land line any more, so I guess I need to get something. It's unpleasant. I dislike cordless electronics because I lose them so easily.

Also I can't use touch screens. Something about my blood apparently? I have weird blood and weirder circulation. Touchscreens either don't register me at all or do really random stuff.

So I need buttons. But they have to be full size, because I also have weird skin on my hands. I can't push tiny buttons, they just kind of sink in. It's the same reason I could never play strings. I don't make callous the right way and then it just falls off. Stupid princess skin.

What I really need is some kind of dial.

I wonder if there are any rotary cellular telephones.

Maybe a rotary cellular telephone with a charging port that I could hang up somewhere. I bet I could use that.