#flyfaster

I usually really like flying. It’s easy (I don’t have to stay awake), and fast, and amusing (those planes are huge and they still fly somehow!), and you meet interesting people. But some days the getting-somewhere part of the traveling is a challenge and becomes exhausting. Yesterday I got really frustrated with the stupid little Grand Rapids airport. The weather was beautiful, but my flight was delayed more than an hour because of a loose seal on a turbine. I was initially proud of myself for being one of the first to rebook, once a bunch of passengers realized we would miss our connections, but then I realized I had rebooked myself onto another delayed flight (because of a missing crew member. Come on people!), and that connection wasn’t going to happen either. So I rebooked a third time and got a bonus extra 5 hours in Grand Rapids out of the deal! However, this meant that my plans on the other end of my day were shifted seven hours later and royally screwed up. So I started thinking about all the lessons I’ve learned from traveling.

Don’t book the shortest connection time possible. Turns out getting on an earlier connection is usually easier than re-booking a later one.

Don’t check into a hotel advertised as “hauntingly beautiful”. Especially not in New Orleans. And definitely not alone. Or at midnight.

Don’t stand for only decaf coffee packets in your hotel room.

Don’t book a hotel room that is so old the fire alarm goes off when the heater is turned on.

Don’t book a hotel room that is so new that the water heaters are not yet “fully functional”.

Don’t willingly pay all additional rental car fees.*

Do smile extra in hopes of getting fees waived. (see above)

Do threaten to cry in hopes of getting fees waived.

Do sign up for every rewards program ever. (obvi)

Do take a picture of your rental car, because chances are good you may not recall what kind of car you are driving this time.

Do drink a beer (or two) before boarding a long flight.

Do change your socks immediately after landing from a long flight.

And if you’re still having an icky travel day, share a pizza with an elderly woman while she tells you tales of her adventures. If that doesn’t cheer you up, you probably should have just stayed in bed.

  *A note about rental cars:

TRUTH: It seems shockingly affordable to rent a car these days

MORE TRUTH: note the word “seems”.

For only $20/day that shiny red car can be yours to do whatever you want with!

Oh, you’re not $25? That’ll cost extra.

Oh, you don’t carry paper copies of insurance with you? That’ll cost extra.

You want to have us refill the gas tank? That’ll cost extra. (Enterprise)

You want to refill the gas tank yourself? That’ll cost extra. (Hertz)

You want to return it to a different location? That’ll cost extra.

You want to drive it to a different state? That’ll cost extra.