life update:
we’re doing a lot better lately! Eating better, feeling more at home in our body than ever, listening to ki and learning more and more how to respond appropriately. We don’t always do this (yet - we’re working on it!), but we now know how it FEELS physically and emotionally to be attuned to our body and kis needs like food and rest. We also have worked through a topic that has puzzled and disturbed us a great deal in our recovery from disordered eating: veganism. Might make a post on that some day.
We are also very very busy lately and will probably be busy for a while, because we are planning to move house and have to find a new flat/house first. It’s difficult. But we’re going to do it.
We also have only sporadically good internet so if we don’t answer or are offline a lot, that’s why (we’re sharing our LAN-cable with our chosen family who are staying with us until we find our flat).
We also are over our worst trigger ever (flies). They don’t bother us anymore??? Just like that. We didn’t even specifically work on that. But it got a LOT better after we told our therapist the trauma behind that. Or rather, the system mate who had to go through that told her about it. Just that. He just told her about it and she said it was horrible and also that it was over and not happening anymore. But this was like 5 minutes of him fronting in one session that was mostly about something different. Idk I think we just got over it because we’re doing better in general?
We decided that we won’t let our fears and triggers stop us anymore. If we want to do something that’s importanto to us (even just one of us), but someone else is scared or triggered or wants to block it for some other reason - instead of just not doing it then, we talk to that person blocking it until we can do the thing anyway. We don’t just ignore them or go over their objections, either. That never worked well for us. Our system is just toooooo good at blocking each other lmao, it’s our special move...
This decision to not be stopped by fears (and other reasons, but fear most often) makes a huge difference. I don’t think we could have just made this decision much earlier though, because we first had to get to this point we’re at right now, where enough of us know that the trauma stuff is over and we’re strong enough to stay present and tell those who are scared that they don’t need to be scared anymore - even though this conversation almost always means that their trauma comes up.
So... we’re really really happy about our progress lately!
And again, the fact that crises often come before breakthroughs turned out to be true :’)
