#fljpov

“When did you start working?” Ms. Kelly asks calmly, and he stares at the ceiling wondering what that has to do with anything.  “I dunno” Jonathan answers.  She gazes across the desk expectantly, waiting for him to reach into the recesses of his mind for the first time he offered to mow someone’s lawn.  “Will was six maybe” he sighs.   “So you were” she elongates, trying to do the math herself.  “Nine” he blurts and her eyes go wide, "Or ten” he corrects like that will magically make his child labor better.   “That’s pretty young”  she remarks, trying to sound like she isn't once again mortified by his upbringing.  “I guess” Jonathan shrugs.  “You didn't feel young?” He glares at her, he doesn’t mean to but really how the fuck does he answer that? Of course he felt young. He felt young when he had to wake up at the crack of dawn for his paper route. He felt young every time he scraped his hands doing yard work. He felt young when he was bumming rides off of his coworkers at the Hawk and hanging around parties he had no business attending. But none of that changes anything.  “I don't know” he lies instead of losing his cool.  “Why'd you start?” “Hmm”  “Working?” Was she serious? She knows about his family. How little they could afford even when Lonnie was around. Although, thinking back, he’s pretty sure that was the year Lonnie left around Halloween and didn’t show back up until New Year’s. What he really remembers is spending his free time with Will at the Wheeler’s and that he … “I wanted a lego castle” he says softly, admitting it to himself more than her.   Miss Kelly silently encourages him to continue. But it’s hard, like there’s a fuzzy edge around the memories.  “For me and Will, you know?... We loved that stuff and my parents… they couldn't afford it… it had like eight hundred pieces so I figured I could do some odd jobs…. and just get it myself” he recounts, shakily.  “Did you ask?” she questions, placidly.   “What?” “Your parents. Did you ask them for the lego set?” she elaborates. “No” Jonathan laughs nervously, his throat suddenly feels incredibly dry  “I mean it's like I said they couldn't afford it” he jokes, wetting his lips.  “So why bother asking,” Miss Kelly surmises.  “Exactly!” He exclaims.

A kind of uninhibited glee fills him as they zoom past the leaving Hawkins sign. The joy of knowing they can go anywhere they want. Or at least anywhere that his car will allow.  “Where are we going?” Nancy exclaims from the passenger seat, clearly taken aback by their departure.  “I have no idea” Jonathan admits with a nervous laugh. He wants to go anywhere, everywhere with her. Just far enough to be far away and close enough to have her safely back home by dinner. Somewhere where the rest of the world can fall away and it’s just them.  Out of the corner of his eye, he catches her staring. Studying really, brows knit together like he’s a math problem she hasn’t cracked quite yet. Suddenly, it occurs to him that maybe leaving town wasn’t what she signed up for when she agreed to skip.  “Look I can take you back I just-” “And leave me to suffer through history without you? Fat chance” She reassures, taking his hand from the wheel and lacing their fingers together.  “Muncie” he offers, but she scrunches her nose in protest.  “Indianapolis” she suggests enthusiastically, eager to play the game until they settle on somewhere.  Jonathan flinches. His stomach drops, a train yard, the rain and the trunk of the car flash in his mind.   “Absolutely not” he retorts, a little too aggressively.  The joy of their banter is quickly replaced with a stiff, awkward silence. Nancy clears her throat and his chest feels tight. He’s sullied the mood, he might as well turn around now. But he doesn’t want that either. He opens his mouth to explain, but closes it again. Where does he even start with his dad? How could she possibly understand that an entire city is off limits because of one occupant? “It’s fine Jonathan” she assures, softly.  But it’s not fine. If he can’t be honest with her, she might as well dump him now. His stomach does another flip, he really doesn’t think he can handle losing her again.  “Sorry… I just… Lonnie lives there” he explains, barely above a whisper like he’s confessing to some heinous sin.   “Mmm so definitely not” Nancy agrees, simply.   Relief washes over him. He was stupid for thinking she wouldn’t get it. Of course she does, that’s why he loves her. ‘He keeps calling’ is on the tip of his tongue but he can’t seem to translate the words from his brain to his mouth. They’re caught somewhere in the back of his throat.  “You can tell me anything. You know that right?” she implores, gently raising his hand and kissing his knuckle.