She walked into a room of roughly eighty new humans, and spent the first five minutes trying to chalk out a plan in order to make a good first impression because she doesn’t want them to know how new faces scare her. 

She’s that girl, who shivers at the thought of making new acquaintances, but five minutes in and she vibes like it’s always been her thing. She’s that girl, who knows everyone, but resorts to a particular person when she needs to put her trust in a safe place. She head bangs to 80s rock, dances to 90s house, and hums to the1975, while cigarettes after sex catches her off guard. She’s that girl whose eyes do more of the talking than her mouth. She’s got her walls built sky high but she’ll break them right down if you let her know that you won’t let her go. 

She likes her life colorful but makes decisions black or white. 

She’s like clay, molds herself into handling situations, which people often mistake for a pseudo-being. She’s that girl who sails through an ocean and lets her faith anchor her soul. She’s the girl who refuses to believe it when told she’s beautiful, but every once in a while, looks into  the mirror, and admires her smile along with the scars her battles have left her, for they remind her of every time she’s won.

She’s the girl that everyone knows, but very few admire. The ones who do, know depths she’s drowned in, as well as the skies she’s kissed. She is the girl who everyone thinks, drowns her sorrows in cigarette drags and sips of rum and coke, blending with contrasting humans every day. But she, stands out every time she smiles at every tag given to her, for she knows her raw self and that’s all that’s ever made a difference to her.

She’s the casket when people need their secrets concealed. She turns to paper when she needs her sentiments to stay undisclosed.

She has a lot of friends, but a quaint chosen family. She talks to a lot of mouths, but has one safe haven.

She’s that girl who finds comfort within four walls, where she is herself, in its entirety. She isn’t judged by the walls, or the ghost that she lays her trust in. She is an organised mess, the calmness in someone’s chaotic world. She’s aware of every time she’s messed up and if it’s a five on ten, she knows she has to stop when it turns into a nine.

She’s that girl who’s been in and out of love, who has hurt and has been hurt. She isn’t perfect, nowhere close, but she sews her flaws into a beautiful story that she drapes around her body and flaunts it with utmost pride.

She’s a lot of things, she loves with everything she has, she gets hurt only to forgive but never forget. Finally, she’s the human whose trust when shattered, will walk away leaving you wondering why you chose to let her tears touch the ground in the first place.

excerpt from a book that i may never write :)