#flashroguesadvent

“We need an impartial observer to judge something, and you don’t really like any of us.  I’d ask Dillon, but you know how that’d go,” Len replied as he ushered the musician inside.  Most of the Rogues were gathering in the foyer, and they seemed to be arguing heatedly.

“Of course.  What’s the competition?  Most creative cheating at poker?  Trashiest collection of playing cards?”

(Hartley well-remembered the time the other guys had compared their favourite adult poker sets, as he’d never seen so many nude women in his life.)

“You’ll see.”

A few minutes later, Mick opened the door to the Rogues’ ‘living room’ and grinned excitedly at everyone waiting.  “It’s ready, guys!  Come look!”

The gang trooped into the other room, which was set up with one of the most spectacular Christmas trees Hartley had ever seen…and he’d seen a lot.  It was huge and lit with hundreds of coloured bulbs, decorated with festive ornaments that had probably been stolen from a store’s truck, and it concealed a rich bounty underneath: many wrapped gifts.

“What is this..?” Hartley asked with confusion.  In moments, Mark carried Josh into the room as both beamed widely, and the toddler became even more excited when he saw the beautiful tree.

“There’s tha wean of the hour!” Evan exclaimed, and he took a photo of Josh’s smiling face. 

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Len said when he saw the camera, and pressed an even fancier one into Hartley’s hands.  “Could you get some pics of him opening the presents, please?”

Hartley was beginning to get very puzzled and even a little alarmed.  Cold never said please.  What was happening here?

“Open mine first!  Mine!” Axel insisted as he bounced around with tangible excitement.  Mark smiled and reached for the two boxes wrapped in bright comic book pages, handing them to his delighted son.

“Twee!” Josh burbled happily as he tore the wrapping off the gifts, throwing the paper wherever he could.  He squealed with joy when he saw the cute bath toys inside, and began to play with them when Mark took them out of the box.  Hartley and Evan took a few photos of his happy face and new toys.

“I got him that,” Axel declared smugly.  “I bought them at the store, didn’t even steal them.”

Josh pointed at a box wrapped with fiery-looking paper and Mick jumped to his feet with eager anticipation.  “That one’s from me!”

Mark handed it over and the toddler tore off the paper with determination, revealing a cute little outfit festooned with smiling cartoonish flames: pajamas, socks, and tiny mittens.  Josh loved this too, and Mick beamed with happiness at the child’s obvious delight.

Mark picked up a box with orange and green wrapping paper, and Evan didn’t need to say who it was from.  He looked tense and excited as Josh pulled off the paper, then grinned with relief as the baby reacted joyfully to the magnifying glass set (though Hartley wasn’t sure he even knew what it was).

“Every wean should have magnifying lenses an’ a wee microscope from a young age!” Evan told the assembled group proudly.  “It gives them a strong background in scientific principles before they stairt schule.”

“I mean I guess…” Axel said skeptically, still certain that his bath toys were the best gift.  But Josh was happy with everything he received, even if he didn’t really understand all of it.  And of course Evan and Hartley made sure to take photos of him curiously examining his new science set.

“I guess mine’s next,” Len said with uncharacteristic uncertainty, and Hartley realized he was anxious.  Josh began ripping the snowflake wrapping paper off the box, and opened it to reveal a slightly worn stuffed bear.  The toddler immediately screeched excitedly and hugged it to his chest, prompting Len to smile.

“It was Lisa’s, long ago.  I think she’d be glad the little guy’s getting some enjoyment out of it now,” Len said with a slight catch in his voice, and Mark looked up at him gratefully.

“Thank you, Cold.  That means a lot to me.”

“Sure, no problem.  Just glad he likes it and will appreciate it.”

Josh was still hugging the bear and babbling delightedly, so it was clear that he did.  The others let him play with it a bit before moving on to the last gift, from his father.

“It’s hard to know what they’ll like or will find meaningful a month or a year from now,” Mark admitted to the group as he handed the box to his son.  “So I tried to go with something classy, something he’ll always remember.”

Josh tore off the plain green wrapping paper and cheerily opened the box, discovering a sterling silver cup inside.  It was child-sized and beautiful in its simplicity, and was engraved with ‘Joshua’ in cursive script.

“I was selling some of my loot at the fence’s place when I saw this and knew it was perfect for the kiddo,” Mark explained.  “I paid the asking price and got one of his associates to etch it, and voila.”

Hartley refrained from a comment about the cup being seized as stolen goods if/when the Rogues got busted, because he didn’t want to bring down the group’s happy mood.  At least Mark hadn’t swiped it directly from some other unfortunate kid, and it really was a beautiful object.  Josh was now trying to give the stuffed bear a ‘drink’ from the cup, and it seemed like something he'd genuinely treasure as he grew older.

“So the reason you’re here is to judge the competition: which gift did he like best?” Len told Hartley, who immediately hemmed and hawed.

“Isn’t the important thing that he’s happy and had a nice time..?” Hartley said evasively, hoping to wriggle out of this.

“Of course it is, but we made a bet about who could make him happiest!” Axel insisted.  “And it was me!”

“He’s gonna love his jammies on chilly nights,” Mick said, sanguine.

“He’ll know more about lenses and science than any other wean in his class, which’ll make him feel sae braw aboot himself,” Evan countered.

“He sure as hell loves that bear,” was all Len said, and nobody could disagree.

Hartley thought quickly, a vital skill necessary for every Rogue.  “I can’t judge this because I’ve got a gift for him too and it wouldn’t be an impartial contest!”

“Oh come on!” Axel complained, as he knew a ruse when he saw one, but Hartley reached into his cloak and pulled out an emergency harmonica.  It was his weapon of last resort, as its metal casing was dented and the sound was somewhat tinny…which honestly made it the perfect gift for a toddler.  Especially when you weren’t on great terms with the kid's family.

Josh was thrilled to receive an instrument and immediately began making horrible noises with it, and soon everyone over the age of three was glaring at Hartley.  He grinned cheerfully.

“Sorry guys.  At least I got some great photos of him for you, and his happiness really is what’s important here.  You all made some great memories.”

“We did until that harmonica showed up,” Len glowered as Josh merrily tooted away, deeply off-key.

“You’ll thank me when he’s a great musician,” Hartley shrugged, and Mark sighed helplessly.

“It’s annoying, but he’s right.  Josh is happy and that’s all that matters.”

“I’m gonna teach him to play Despacito on that thing,” Axel announced, and Len pinched his nose in frustration.