#fix-it friday

“Helen?” He repeated more loudly and that time, the linguist turned to the sound of his voice.

“Doctor,” she gave a simple, weak greeting and he tried for an encouraging smile that she couldn’t quite match.

“Can I get you anything?” He asked, well aware that inquiring into her state of mind was a waste of time. It was more than obvious. The best he could hope for was to be there for her and make sure she had everything she needed. He spotted a cup of tea balanced on the armrest and wondered if some biscuits might do the trick.

“No, I’m fine,” she answered almost too quickly and returned her eyes to the page which he presumed she had started on hours ago. Mrs. Dalloway by Virgina Woolf. He recognised the book even from a distance and her choice of reading material only added to his general impression of her state of being.

You’re not fine, was what he wanted to say, you haven’t been fine since Liv left. He had voiced his concerns several times already but by now he realised the futility of it so he didn’t say anything else. He just nodded and turned to leave.

“Can we make a quick trip to Kaldor?”

The Doctor had almost reached the door when she spoke up at last. The words came out trembling, as if she needed extraordinary strength to form them. He looked around and frowned:

“Kaldor? Why?” 

It seemed a curious request. When Liv had decided to leave them, she had asked to be taken to Earth and not to her homeworld. She wouldn’t be there, on Kaldor, to greet them and he couldn’t think of any business they would have there without her. Surely Helen would have her reasons. It was the first request she had made since their friend had left. No, not ‘our’ friend, the Doctor corrected himself. Liv had been his friend. She had been far more than that to Helen. He wasn’t sure how to phrase it: Girlfriend seemed too weak a word. Lover? Partner? Soulmate? English - and every other of the many languages he spoke - seemed inadequate at expressing all the things he had thought Liv and Helen had been to each other. It was all the more disappointing that evidently, he had been wrong. It wouldn’t be the first or last time. Matters of the heart were not his forte. They were far too unpredictable and lacked logic and yet… he had been so sure about them.

“I need to return this,” Helen cut through his thoughts and she sounded unsettlingly detached. She opened her hand that appeared to have been clenched around a small object for some time. The Doctor stepped closer for a better look and realised she was holding a ring. It was gold with an emerald band running along the middle of it. The style was distinctly Kaldoran and the Doctor’s hearts sank while he battled with confusion. It was, in all likelihood, an engagement ring. What he couldn’t figure out was why Helen had it and Liv wasn’t there. “Liv just… left it,” the linguist answered as she seemed to have guessed his question. “Besides, Tula will want to know where she is, we should return this and tell her...” Her voice drifted off into nothingness.

“Not that she will get to see her again if she does stay in 2021…” The Doctor stated glumly and he found the prospect far more depressing than he had anticipated. His friend’s choice to settle somewhere should have been a happy occasion but it came with so many unpleasant consequences, he couldn’t bring himself to understand her reasoning.

“It’s what she wanted,” Helen stated as if she had read his mind yet again.

“It was an irrational snap decision,” the Time Lord gave his honest opinion and she simply shrugged. He was left to wonder - once again - what had led to her sudden departure. His inability to make sense of the situation was slowly driving him mad. Helen, however, was entirely unforthcoming with information.

“It was her decision to make,” she observed, her voice numb, and then, with a surprising burst of sudden movement, she cast her blanket aside and got to her feet. “Can we get on?” She demanded and strode across the room.

“As you wish,” the Doctor found himself agreeing as she passed him without meeting his eyes.

---

Working the TARDIS controls, the Doctor cast a quick glance to his companion. Helen stood close by, she was watching the Time rota move up and down mesmerised while she fiddled with the engagement ring in her hand. He wondered if she knew she was doing it and how she would feel about letting go of it; letting go of Liv, as it were. The TARDIS still bore her memory. She had been in such a rush to leave, she hadn’t taken anything with her, so the Doctor had made an effort to spare his friend the continued heartbreak of constant reminders. He had hidden her medical bag under the console. He had cleared her mugs away. He had even picked up stay items of clothing and put them in the wardrobe hall. Their room was a different matter. It stayed untouched for the time being and Helen had slept in the library which certainly wasn’t conducive to her well-being. It had been three days now and he hadn’t questioned it. He was giving her space. A sense of helplessness was setting in as nothing he tried seemed to be making a difference. Maybe this trip would be the solution, or at least a step in the right direction.

“Shall we?” The Doctor asked, when the TARDIS landed and the linguist didn’t move.

“Yes. Yes of course,” she came out of her daze and clutched the ring more tightly but before either of them could make for the door, there was a knock upon it.

“Liv?” A familiar voice called and their looks of confusion turned to recognition. It seemed as though they wouldn’t have to go searching for very long.

The Doctor skipped to the TARDIS door and opened it to Tula Chenka.

“Doctor! Hello!” She laughed, surprised and thrilled by their unexpected visit. “I thought it was you when-”

“Why don’t you come in?” He suggested kindly and stepped aside and she did, gladly.

“Oh it’s been such a long time! Wow, this place is amazing!” She gushed excitedly as she looked around in awe. Of course Liv had told her plenty about the TARDIS but seeing it for herself was something else. She took a moment to take it all in, then focused her attention on Helen who was lingering by the console, her expression oscillating between anxious and fond. “Hello Helen!” The overtech greeted her in delight.

“Hi Tula, nice to see you,” Helen retorted warmly and it was the most positive emotion the Doctor had seen on her in days.

“And Liv? Where’s she got to?” Tula asked as she looked around. Of course her sister’s absence would not go unnoticed for long. “Anything to wiggle out of a hug from her sister, is it?” She scoffed.

“It’s not quite as straightforward as that,” the Doctor interjected cautiously, unsure how to break the unpleasant news.

“She’s fine though, she’s fine, it’s not what you think, we didn’t come to bring bad news,” Helen interjected quickly fearing she would draw all the wrong conclusions when Tula’s face immediately turned concerned.

“Well…” The Doctor looked to Helen and wondered how she could think these weren’t bad news. As far as Tula was concerned - without access to a time machine - she would never be able to see her sister again. It was something Liv surely hadn’t thought through, else he couldn’t imagine she would have made the choice, but here they were.

Tula’s expression turned even more concerned at his intervention and Helen quickly stepped up to reassure her.

“No, Doctor, don’t scare her!” Helen scolded him quickly and turned her attention back to Tula. “Liv is alive and well, she’s just… not with us anymore,” she said quickly, as if she had to get the words out while she could. 

“What?” Tula echoed, unsure if she had heard her right.

“We want to tell you she will be staying elsewhere, for a while at least…” The Doctor stepped closer, hoping to take some of the pressure of explanation from the linguist. While she had been quick to provide answers, her posture was tense, her hands balled to fists, and he could tell she was struggling.

“She wanted to stay for good,” Helen interjected almost sharply which surprised the Time Lord.

“So she said but perspective can change,” he retorted, bewildered at her response.

“What are you talking about?” Being out of the loop of conversation, Tula felt all the more confused.

“Liv has chosen to stop travelling with us and has settled on Earth in 2021,” the Doctor turned his full attention to the overtech who deserved nothing less, and gave her a clear, straightforward answer. He felt he owed that much to her at least.

“Earth? 2021? But that’s-” She was stunned for a moment, then gripped by a sense of outrage: “What would she be doing there?!” She exclaimed.

“She’s got a girlfriend there,” Helen said and cast her eyes to the floor, her posture remained tense, her knuckles turned white on her fists.

“Does she?” Tula’s reaction was one of utter confusion and disbelief and the Doctor felt better for knowing his feelings on the matter were shared.

“Well, it’s not quite as-” He tried to intervene but Helen seemed to be intend on putting things as bluntly as she possibly could when she stated:

“She said it was time to return to Tania.” She shot the Doctor a look quite clearly demanding he stop interfering.

“And you let her do this?” Tula exclaimed and turned her attention to the Time Lord. “What is she going to do in 2021? She can’t work, can she? She wouldn’t know where to start with the science in the dark ages and you can’t just… settle in a different time and place? I’m sure even then you needed identification? Birth records?” She started ranting, naming all the things that he himself had considered and found equally as preposterous.

“I don’t think any of those things were at the forefront of her mind…” He answered with a deep sigh. It had been her decision at the end of the day, even if he thought it a stupid and impulsive one.

“What is she going to do? Be a kept woman?!” The overtech clearly wasn’t satisfied with his answer and had strong opinions on the matter. “For goodness sake, this is Liv we’re talking about!” She yelled and her voice echoed through the heavy silence of the console room.

“It was her decision,” he iterated a fact of which he’d had to remind himself repeatedly since Liv’s sudden departure.

“And you let her?! You didn’t stop her?!” Tula snapped.

“Have you ever tried stopping your sister from doing something she has set her mind to?” He answered calmly and it seemed to take the wind out of her sails. His words rang true. Liv Chenka was stubborn as a mule and they all knew it.

“But Helen, I thought you two were…” The overtech turned to Helen who had remained completely silent during the exchange. Tula had a million questions for her but none would cross her lips as the linguist took hold of her hand and pushed something into it.

“I wanted to return this as well. Liv… forgot it. I’m sure it’s precious so…” She cleared her throat as it was closing up with emotion but she did her best to get her words out. She took a step back, as if to put distance between herself and the offending object that Tula looked at in wonder.

“Mum’s engagement ring… how did you-?” She looked back up to Helen but the linguist avoided her eyes.

“I’m sure she didn’t mean to leave it. You must take it, it’s a family heirloom, surely,” she carried on quickly.

“But-” Tula was too stunned for words.

“I’m sorry, please excuse me, I’ve suddenly come over really dizzy,” Helen’s words were rushed, thick with tears, as she turned away, she steadied herself against the console for a moment and Tula reached out for her. Concern crossed the Doctor's face as well, he too stepped closer, but the linguist ignored both of them. She started walking with unsteady steps and only broke into a run when she was out of their line of sight. She didn’t need anyone witnessing her breaking down once more.

“Doctor, what is going on here?” Tula turned to the Doctor who stood in pensive silence, eyes still fixed to the doorway Helen had disappeared through.

“Tula, I’m so sorry, I’m still trying to figure out the very same thing,” he answered slowly, thoughtfully.

“So Liv really has left?” The overtech asked and for the first time, sorrow outweighed anger and disbelief in her voice.

“In quite the strop, yes. She was pretending to be casual about it, like she didn’t care but… something happened and I don’t know what yet,” he elaborated. “I suspect it has something to do with that ring though. And engagement ring you say?” He pointed to the piece of jewellery that had given him much to think about and it was useful - if not necessarily nice - to have its purpose confirmed as what he had suspected.

“It’s Liv’s. Well, it was our mother’s actually but Liv wanted it and I didn’t mind. I don’t see myself as the proposing type,” she explained with a little chuckle though the joy was short-lived. “Liv, however, she had plans for this… she got it during the year she spent with me,” she revealed thoughtfully and looked to the doorway as well.

“Let me guess…” The Doctor felt he could deduce the rest.

“She was sure of it even then and she didn’t even know if Helen was interested in her,” she gave a sad shake of her head. “But they were seeing each other? Liv and Helen?” She questioned, hoping that perhaps, together, they would be able to put the pieces together in a way that made sense.

“As far as I can tell,” he nodded in confirmation. “I’m not very observant with these things but I guess they told each other ‘I love you’ a lot so…”

“Then what happened for Liv to storm off back to a former girlfriend?” Tula wasn’t sure whether she had quite got it right but that was certainly what it had sounded like.

“I have no idea,” the Doctor answered with a sigh. “Do you want to try and find out? Talk to her?” He suggested, glad to have someone else who might be able to shed some light.

“Me? I barely know her! And being Liv’s sister, I doubt she’d want to talk to me,” Tula shook her head. “Can’t you do it? You’re their best friend, are you not?”

“Yes but I’m not good with these things…” He groaned. “No, I’d only make it worse. We need someone who knows their way around matters of the heart, someone that Helen trusts…”

“Well you do have a time machine, isn’t there a friend or family that would-” The overtech was grasping at straws.

“In 1960? No, there is no-one…” He shook his head and came to a sombre realisation: Helen Sinclair had very few people in the world, in the universe, that she was close to. He had never been in doubt that she would come back to the TARDIS with him after their stay in 2020. She had nowhere else to go, nowhere else to be. She could never return to her time - a wanted criminal - and had fixed her future in such a way that she wouldn’t see any of her family alive again. If it pained Helen, she had never let on, but objectively it was quite tragic. The Doctor and Liv had been her family ever since. Romance with Liv had been the inevitable result and now, she was gone.

“Well, there is always me.” A voice sounded and made both of them jump.

Act II

“What the-” Tula clutched her hand to her chest in shock while the Doctor looked around surprised. He knew that voice.

“Sister Cantica!” He exclaimed as he regarded the familiar figure that had turned up inside the console room in a discharge of Artron Energy. The mystery woman flashed him a stunning smile and shook the electricity out of her impressive hair as he racked his brain to try and place her but he was coming up short. He couldn’t be sure of her name and found his mental capacity somewhat limited at the sight of her. Somehow he knew they were intimately acquainted but he simply couldn’t work out how. “Or is it Professor Malone?” He carried on confused. It was as if he was looking at a perception filter. “How did you get in here?!”

“Professor River Song,” she introduced herself with a knowing smile and a wink for his benefit as much as Tula’s. “Let’s forgo roleplay for now and skip to the main event. We can deal with your memory later.” Beyond a doubt, she was flirting and it left the Doctor stunned as he found himself blushing and concerned with her reference to his memory. He frowned, realising that yes, her name was of course River and how could he have forgotten that? He didn’t have time to think on it for long as River pressed on: “The TARDIS implied that it was urgent.”

“The TARDIS?” Tula echoed and the Doctor supplied:

“My ship.”

“Your ship sent for a professor of its own fruition?” Tula was aware of what the TARDIS was, Liv had told her as much, the question was rather how a ship could ‘imply’ something or request someone's attendance.

“She does have a mind of its own,” the Doctor gave her an apologetic smile as he didn’t feel like he could go into much detail, not if River was to be believed that her visit was of an urgent nature. Fortunately, the overtech was of the same mind and simply commented with a shake of her head:

“And here I was thinking the Robots’ budding intelligence was an issue…”

“Why would the TARDIS send for you?” The Doctor turned back to River and Tula followed up:

“And who are you?” A name was not enough, she required context.

“I’m his wife,” River answered pleasantly and gave her husband an adoring smile. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, the Doctor didn’t argue the point. He simply looked at her, allowed her bright expression to warm him and returned it in kind. His Time Lord senses reached along their timeline, convincing him that - yes, she was speaking the truth - but also that the temporal nature of their relationship was far from straightforward. It wasn’t something to dwell on. Time would reassert itself and he could only presume he would forget her again until the right time. In that moment, however, he was very glad to see her and to know who she was to him.

He wasn’t too proud to admit that he found himself in perhaps the most difficult situation he had been in for some time. He could deal with monsters, villains and evil, but to mend the broken hearts of his best friends and reunite their family was something he feared might be beyond him. He was glad for River’s offer of help and drew a sense of reassurance from the woman he didn’t remember meeting, and yet, somehow, felt he knew already in the bottoms of his hearts.

“I’m here to deal with all matters of the heart from what I gather,” River carried on, placing her hands on her hips as she looked around. “His hearts, their hearts, your heart, too, if you’d like,” she focused her eyes on Tula and added with a suggestive smirk: “Single, are you, Miss Chenka?”

“I, uh-” The overtech stuttered and River grinned as she greatly enjoyed rendering eloquent people speechless. Nevertheless, she returned to the matter of her visit and asked:

“So where are they? Liv and Helen? I can only presume this was a wedding invitation? I did bring a frock but I like to travel light so-” She reached into the pocket of her leather jacket and pulled out a bottle of perfume. Before either the Doctor or Tula could even think to say anything, she sprayed herself and in a rain of sparkles, her casual outfit turned into a full length evening gown: Burgundy red and made to measure, with matching heels and jewellery.

“Wow,” Tula found her voice first but couldn’t think of anything else to say. The professor was a sight.

“Now that is the reaction I was hoping for,” River winked at the overtech.

“That is quite the dress,” the Doctor admitted and while he would have quite gladly spent more time admiring her, he knew there were more important things to deal with: “But I’m afraid you won’t be needing it.”

“Did I mess up the timing? The Vortex Manipulator has been playing up ever since the Nine played around with it…” River frowned and took a moment to examine the Vortex Manipulator strapped to her wrist. “This is the day Liv proposed to Helen, right?” She asked, confused, as she couldn’t find fault with the device.

“Is that what happened?” Tula asked, as she glanced at the ring that remained in her palm and the Doctor crossed his arms in front of his chest uncomfortably.

“Oh no…” He mumbled.

“So I ask again, where is the happy couple?” Questioningly, River looked back and forth between the two of them.

“Not a couple and not happy…” The Doctor answered slowly. “You are a little late if that’s what you came for, it happened a few days ago, or rather, didn’t… The TARDIS must have had a different reason to call for you, maybe you can talk some sense into Helen, find out what happened…” He suggested with a hopeful smile and Tula added with a heavy heart:

“She left, apparently, Liv… left…”

“I see…” River’s expression turned serious and thoughtful, a state of being rarely seen on the professor but all the more potent for it. She had the good grace to change her outfit back into casual wear with another spray of her perfume bottle. She listened intently as Tula turned to the Doctor and asked:

“And this Tania, this girlfriend Helen mentioned, how did that come to pass? How-”

“That was years ago, for us anyway,” the Doctor replied pensively. “Not for Tania though, I took us back to the night we left but…” His voice trailed off as he considered the state of affairs. What weighed on him most was his lack of seeing rhyme or reason in what had happened. “It makes no sense, they were happy,” he said into the sad, sorrowful silence that had fallen in the console room. “I will admit I’m not the most… attune to human courting but for all intents and purposes… They were very happy together.” He gave a sorrowful shake of his head.

“Define happy,” River prompted and he shrugged.

“Oh you know, human stuff. Touchy feely. Smiling, giggling, laughing!” He couldn’t help but smile to himself at the memory of his friends’ laughter filling the TARDIS which felt so very empty and lifeless now.

“Like a sarcastic kind of bitter laugh or an actual-” Despite the seriousness of the situation, Tula couldn’t resist the little quip. She couldn’t imagine her sister genuinely giggling about anything.

“No, really laughing, ever since that time I came in here and they were - and I realise this now - kissing, and I asked if Liv was teaching Helen some basic resuscitation cause it really could come in handy. Apparently that was hilarious,” the Doctor explained with a good natured chuckle and the two women laughed.

“That is, objectively, quite funny,” River had to concede and Tula nodded in agreement.

“So yes, I’m sure they were happy!” The Doctor carried on more confidently. “And I left them to it. Well, I had to. They said their room was off limits at night time, they wouldn’t even let me bring them warm coco anymore.”

“Bless,” River exchanged a sheepish smirk with Tula as they both noticed the implications going right over the Doctor’s head.  

“So what happened, why… Would Helen really have said ‘no’ when Liv…” The overtech asked as they fell quiet and the mood turned serious again.

“I think it’s time I spoke to Helen,” River gave an encouraging smile to the others who nodded in agreement.

River found Helen in the library as the Doctor had suggested. It had become the linguist’s safe place, even more so than it had been before.

“No, please, just leave me to it,” the linguist groaned, even before River entered. It made the professor slow her steps. Helen couldn’t possibly have noticed her yet which begged the question who she was conversing with. There was a low hum, vibrating through the walls and River realised it was the TARDIS itself answering. It made her pause and listen as she, too, shared a deep connection with the Space and Time ship. “I know, I know but I had to, I couldn’t…” Helen was saying and while conversation with the TARDIS didn’t involve words, River picked up on the sense of disappointment in the air. “Please try to understand…” The linguist pleaded, her voice heavy.

River knew she shouldn’t be eavesdropping, it would be wrong to delay any longer in hopes that she let anything slip, so she picked up her steps and walked into the library.

“Helen?”

Even though the professor had kept her voice deliberately gentle, the linguist jumped.

“River?” She exclaimed looking around. “What are you-” She seemed at a loss for words as she watched her approach. Helen had been sitting by the fire again, occupying the sofa by a coffee table but she stood in greeting. “When did you get here?” She asked bewildered.

“Few minutes ago. Not long enough to tell the Doctor he really needs to dust in here…” River answered, keeping her response deliberately light as she scanned the room. She chose not to ask about her conversation with the TARDIS, she didn’t want to put her on the back foot. The conversation would be difficult enough as it was, there was no point in adding more stumbling blocks.

“What are you doing here?” Helen asked, even before she crossed the space to her.

“My, you are inquisitive today,” the professor observed. “No hug hello?” She opened her arms to her.

“River, it’s been an awfully long day…” The linguist sighed, exhaustion evident in her voice and body language but River wouldn’t take no for an answer. She pulled her into a tight hug, one that lasted longer than it needed to, but the professor hoped she would take comfort from human touch, even if she didn’t show it.

“It’s been an awful few days from what I can gather,” River commented and let go of her when Helen shifted uncomfortably.

“Why are you here?” She repeated her original question and took a step back from her.

“The TARDIS called me,” River answered truthfully and Helen frowned with a flash of annoyance crossing her previously pensive features.

“Of course she did,” she huffed, almost angrily. “You couldn’t just let it rest, could you!” She snapped as she looked around and scowled but there wasn’t really anything to glare at. In response the TARDIS gave a whirl and a hum and before the linguist could get into an argument with the ship, River intervened.

“What is going on?” She questioned. “The TARDIS is worried, so am I and so is the Doctor. Actually, so is Tula who is clutching the engagement ring Liv was meant to give you. What happened?” River Song was a forthright and plain-spoken person and she thought it best to employ exactly those qualities. She didn’t see value in beating about the bush, even if in retrospect there could have been better ways of easing into the conversation.

“It’s none of your business,” Helen got defensive immediately, confronted with facts she rather would have avoided. If nothing else, her reaction was indication that they had been on the right track with their assumptions. Her reaction was impulsive, reflecting hurt and sorrow. “Not yours, not the TARDIS’s, not the Doctor’s. I’m sorry Tula got roped into it but I thought it was right to return the ring!” Helen carried an growing more agitated in her clearly emotional state. “Couldn’t very well keep it when-”

“When you said ‘no’?” River concluded and the statement had a sobering effect. It was a guess of course but an educated one. Helen averted her eyes, her behaviour changing from confrontational to timid in the space of a second as she carried on more calmly.

“Tula should have it. And she deserved to know where Liv had got to,” Helen explained her reasons for having wanted to see her.

“Which is?” River prompted and the linguist’s response came quickly and with surprisingly little emotion:

“With someone that loves her.”

“Helen…” River frowned, taken aback by her words. It was the way she had phrased the statement that unsettled her, as it implied that she didn’t. She wanted to interject, tell her that surely, no-one loved Liv as much as her, but she didn’t get the opportunity. Helen carried on as if she had sensed her doubts:

“She does, really,” she insisted firmly. “Tania definitely loves Liv, it’s fine, she will be fine. Liv said she loved her too, so there is that,” with each word, she was getting more upset. “In fact, you know what, they will be great. Everybody will be happy.” She threw her hands up in the air and River reached for them quickly in an attempt to calm her.

“Helen, Helen, stop,” she tried to slow her down but the linguist wasn’t done, her thoughts were spiralling, as were her words, as she whipped herself up into a frenzy.

“Why? Why should I?! It’s none of your business what I do with my life, I didn’t have to say ‘yes’!” She exclaimed angrily.

“But surely, you wanted to,” River implored her, keeping her voice calm and level in the storm of emotions her friend was experiencing.

“It’s not about what I would have wanted!” She snapped in response and pulled her hands out of the professor’s grasp.

“Funny, that’s usually why you ask someone to marry you, to find out if they wanted to as well,” River retorted more sharply and Helen shook her head.

“River, stop, for the love of God, just stop!” She shook her head as desperate tears started falling from her eyes.

“Why did you say ‘no’, Helen. Please explain cause I cannot fathom it,” River reached for her again, her shoulders this time as she held her tightly and made her face her. “I could tell you would fall for each other the moment I ran into you, it was obvious to me, to anyone, surely, it should have been obvious to the two of you as well,” she spoke firmly. “There shouldn’t even have been a debate. The Doctor said you had been so very happy together.” She just didn’t understand and her heartfelt, compassionate words pulled Helen from the haze of anger and sorrow.

“We were,” she admitted and it was barely more than a whisper as her shoulder slumped and she couldn’t hold River’s gaze, she turned her attention to the floor.

“Then what prompted this? If I’ve ever met a couple destined to grow old together, it’s the two of you,” the professor asked gently.

“Well, that’s just the problem isn’t it?” Helen gave a bitter, desperate kind of laugh and shook her head to herself.

“What do you mean?” The professor frowned. She could tell she was getting somewhere but not sure she would like where they were headed. Helen appeared - for lack of a better word - broken. She took a deep breath and answered:

“We wouldn’t have grown old together.”

“Helen, please explain, I’m not following,” River admitted and cupped her cheeks, trying to brush her tears away but it was a futile task as they kept falling.

“I thought they were all gone…” Helen mumbled as her defenses broke. She was too exhausted to keep fighting and resisting. The deed was done, there was no harm in sharing her motives with River now. Perhaps, confessing would offer some small reprieve from the guilt she felt. “Caleera’s powers, she gave them to me in her last moments to stop Padrac and… I guess I was a psychic but it didn’t last. It faded, I thought the powers were gone but…”

“What happened?” The professor asked, her concern growing with every word. She knew of how they had managed to defeat Padrac in the end but she had never considered that Helen might be left with the powers. Somehow, she got the sense that that was not the worst of it.

“I had a dream, only, it wasn’t a dream. It was a premonition I guess you’d call it…” Helen started and River shook her head, she didn’t like where things were going.

“No, Helen-”

“No, hear me out, you wanted to know,” the linguist interrupted her.

“How do you even know it was real?” River asked gently as she put the pieces together. No matter how gifted the psychic, she didn’t believe in visions. It wasn’t their existence or significance she doubted, it was the way people would interpret them. There were two sides to every story, things were far too easily misinterpreted and misconstrued.

“It was real, I could feel it,” Helen stood her ground on this and met her eyes. River had no doubt that she believed what she was saying, she could see it in her eyes but she was distraught by the sheer level of grief and sorrow she saw in her usually bright and cheerful eyes. With Liv, joy had left her life.

“So what did you see?” The professor decided to keep an open mind and offer her an opportunity to explain.

Helen opened her mouth but no words would come out. She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, as renewed tears fell.

“Oh God, River, I can’t even-” She couldn’t bring herself to explain, it was too painful.

“Show me then,” River encouraged gently.

“What?” The linguist frowned through tears.

“Show me,” the professor repeated. “Part Time Lord, remember? And Caleera’s powers are of Time Lord origin too, I’m sure between us, we can make it work. Trust me?” Carefully, she grasped her face once more but unlike before, she placed her fingers along her cheeks and temples in a distinctive pattern.

“Of course,” Helen found herself nodding.

“Good, close your eyes,” River instructed with a kind smile and focused her mind. “Contact.”

The first thing River saw was fire and a familiar voice echoing through her head:

“Helen?!” Liv shouted over the roar of the flames and shielded her face from an explosion. She staggered forward through the heat, head whirling side to side in her frantic search for the linguist. She had lost her orientation in the smoke, sweat dragging trails through the dust on her face. They were running out of time. Things had gotten away from them the moment they had arrived on this godforsaken world, the name of which she had already forgotten. She had far more important things on her mind. “HELEN?!” She yelled again.

They were deep underground. Liv suspected the sheer depth of the mine shaft was partially to blame for the fire as the air was stiflingly hot so close to the core of the planet. And speaking of air, she knew she would run out of it in the confined space if she stayed for too long. The fire was consuming oxygen more quickly than she herself. She wouldn’t leave, however, not without Helen.

“HELEN!”

The smoke cleared just enough and Liv spotted a shape up ahead. She started running, the smoke making her lungs burn. And then, she halted, stunned, scrambling back as the ground beneath her feet gave way to molten rock.

She was only a few meters from Helen who looked around surprised. There was a moment of relief in which the linguist’s expression brightened but it only lasted until the realisation of their situation hit both of them fully.

While Helen was happy to see Liv, she knew how much danger she was putting herself in by being there. And Liv - well - she realised that the woman she loved was cowering on the ground on the other side of a pool of lava with her right leg buried under rubble. She was trapped.

“Liv, it’s okay, go-” Helen found her voice at last as she had gathered the strength to phrase the words. She’d had a little time to get accustomed to the prospect of death and knew she couldn’t allow Liv to endanger herself. She raised up her hand for her to see that she held a remote control. “I’ve… I’ve started the countdown,” she stated bravely. The med-tech had almost forgotten about them: the explosive charges they had set around the mine shaft. Once they blew, they would crack the now desolate planet open, release unfathomable energy and seal a rift in space time that threatened to destroy this galaxy if left unchecked. Business as usual. Unlike usually, however, there was every chance that this would turn out to be a suicide mission. At least that was the realisation that was slowly setting in when Liv processed her words.

“No. No way, I’m not going anywhere,” she stated firmly, shaking her head. That was something that was just not going to happen. She knew there wasn’t much time, Helen had done the right - the incredibly brave - thing by starting the countdown, but it left them with little time to escape. The med-tech assessed the width of the lava pool between them.

“Liv, stop!” Helen seemed to guess her intentions immediately. “Go, please, I can’t get out but you-” her voice broke for a moment as she considered the hopelessness of the situation. The pain of her crushed leg that had been stabbing at first had faded to numbness as she accepted that she wouldn’t regain movement of it again, even if she managed to get out from under the heavy rocks. No. Helen knew what she had to do and she was prepared to do it.

“I’m coming for you!” Liv interrupted her.

“NO!” The linguist exclaimed, breathing heavily in the hot air. Her head was spinning from the heat and the smoke but she was present-minded enough to see sense. There was no need for both of them to die.

“Yes, Helen. I am not leaving you,” the med-tech answered definitely as she took a few steps back to take a run up. “I’m getting you - both of us - out of here!”

“We will never make it. I’m stuck, I can’t walk, and we only have minutes!” Helen shouted, panic gripping her. She needed Liv to leave, run as fast as she could, and get back to the TARDIS.

“I’m still not leaving you!” The med-tech took a leap of faith. She sprinted forward and launched herself across the lava. She crashed to the ground next to the linguist and winced while pulling herself up. They didn’t have a moment to lose. “Now, hold still and let me see what I can do…” She requested as she examined her leg while Helen just looked on, stunned.

“Where is the Doctor?” She asked, as she considered him their last resort.

“Safe in the TARDIS, I hope. He may yet save us,” Liv tried her best to sound optimistic as she sent a silent prayer that yes, the Doctor would find a way of saving them because she was forced to realise that she would not. Not only was Helen well and truly trapped under the rubble, any attempt to shift the rocks would result in her bleeding out.

“You can still make it, you can still…” The linguist could see the realisation dawning on her face and reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze to show that it was okay. She knew she wasn’t getting out of there and that was fine, but it wasn’t too late for the med-tech. If she hurried, she could still make it back to the TARDIS, even as the countdown on the remote control in Helen’s other hand hit the two minute mark. “You’re going to die if you stay,” she spoke softly, terrified at the prospect. Liv’s eyes snapped up to her, she struggled for a response for a moment. She wanted to give her hope, tell her everything would be okay, that the Doctor would save them, but she couldn’t bring herself to make false promises. So she turned to the more bull-headed but honest response:

“And you’re going to die alone if I don’t.”

“Liv, please, go,” Helen pleaded and allowing herself a moment of weakness, she leaned forward resting her head to Liv’s, taking the last bit of courage from her presence that she needed to remain brave until the end. She couldn’t stop the countdown now, even if she had wanted to, so it was a mute point, but she wanted to hang on to herself in her final moments. She wanted to be brave. And being with Liv, even just for a moment, allowed her to do that. She had given her so much. She had helped her realise her potential and self-worth. She never felt stronger, braver, prouder, than she did in the med-tech’s presence, when she looked at her the way she did now. She felt she was the only one that had ever truly seen her. She looked at her like she was the only person in the universe that mattered.

“No way,” Liv shook her head and gave a strangled laugh. “I’m not leaving you. Ever. I made a promise, didn’t I. Till death do us part… Only, I won’t let that happen either. I refuse.” She raised Helen’s hand to her lips and placed a kiss on top of her wedding ring. “I’m staying with you.”

“Please save yourself,” Helen whispered as she looked at their intertwined hands. Their skin was dirty from the dust but their rings remained remarkably shiny. Wedding bands would dull with time, through wear over the years, never taking them off, but they hadn’t had time to lose their shine yet.

“Why?” Liv broke through her concentration. “What’s the point? My life without you in it is not worth having.” It was an honest, raw statement and she reached out to cup her cheek and make her look up. She needed her to understand how much she meant that.  

“So you’re giving up,” Helen stated almost angrily. “I won’t thank you for that Liv Chenka, I-” She hadn’t cried until then. She had been brave. She hadn’t seen the point in tears but now, at the prospect of her wife’s death, they started falling and dragged traces through the dirt that had settled on her face.

“It’s not your decision to make. Sorry,” the med-tech gave an apologetic smile. She brushed her tears away with her thumb but only ended up smudging the dirty around. Despite her dishevelled state, her blonde hair hanging in loose strands from her bun and dust covering her head to toe, Liv thought she looked beautiful; just like she wanted to remember her. “There is nothing you can do.” There was another small explosion down the corridor and falling rubble barred the way of their last route of escape.

Helen gave a strangled sob and Liv a sad smile.

The med-tech reached for the remote control in her wife’s hand, cast a quick glance at the timer and placed it on the ground beside them. At least the explosives were close by. They would die in the explosion, rather than being buried and strangely, it was a small comfort.

“There are thirty seconds on the timer,” she said and turned her attention back to Helen. “I love you, Helen.”

“Liv-” The linguist cast her eyes down, she couldn’t hold her glaze. Her vision blurred. She didn’t want to say goodbye. She didn’t know how to.

“I know, I already know everything you could possibly say,” Liv carried on, reassuring her softly. “Thank you for being the most wonderful friend, companion, wife, anyone could wish for.”

“I love you too, Liv. And I’m sorry, I wish I-” Helen’s voice was shaky, she looked up to her wife who smiled gratefully. There were tears in Liv’s eyes too now, but they weren’t from sorrow or fear, they were tears of gratitude and love.

“There is nothing either of us can do now,” she replied softly. “Come here.” She shimmied closer and pulled her wife into a tight embrace.

“I’m scared, Liv,” Helen confessed as she rested her head against hers.

“Me too,” Liv replied, nuzzling into her hair, which smelled of her lavender shampoo despite the smoke and fire. It gave her comfort as memories of their life together flooded her mind: waking up together, curled around each other in the TARDIS with Helen’s hair spilling all over her chest. Helen teasing her one time she had ended up using her shampoo and Liv pretending it had been an accident when it really wasn’t. Liv massaging the shampoo into Helen’s hair one time when she’d had to wash blood out of her hair and she had been too weak to do it herself. That had been a close call. This, however, now, was more than a close call. This was the end of the line, the end of their story, the end of their life, both their lives. “But I’m here. With you. And I’m not letting you go. We’ll be together, always.” Liv spoke defiantly through tears as she held her closer, memorising everything about this moment. The way Helen’s body perfectly fit with her own. The way her chest rose and fell in time with her own. The way she could feel her heartbeat thundered in her chest.

“Thank you, for everything,” Helen sobbed. “I love you so much.”

“Just kiss me, please,” Liv pleaded and turned her head to face her. There was so much love in the linguist’s eyes, so much love she felt for her in return, that she forgot the world around them. All that remained was an overwhelming desire to kiss her and she did. Unexpectantly, Molly O’Sullivan’s last words pushed themselves on her and rang in her ears as she poured everything she had into her last kiss with the love of her life. “Death is infinite. But so is your final thought. Your final seconds of life. It stretches out and lasts forever. And if you hold on to the right memories when you die, well, that could be heaven.”

River broke away and found Helen collapsing into herself, her body shaking with fear and sobs. River realised she was crying as well when her vision blurred and she sank to her knees to gather the linguist into her arms.

“I’m so sorry…” The professor whispered, struggling for composure as she hugged her close.

Act III

“So you understand, don’t you,” Helen whimpered. “You see why I can’t marry her. If we never see each other again, then that won’t happen! She will live!” She buried her face in the crook of River’s neck and clung onto her. She needed someone to tell her she had done the right thing. She needed to know someone understood so the pain would start dulling; so the gap Liv had left in her life would start shrinking; so she could try to start putting herself back together again, even though she didn’t know how to do that without the med-tech present. She had allowed her to be the person she was, she didn’t know how to be everything she wanted to be without her.  

“But you can’t know that, maybe it was just…” River tried to make a case for the vision being no more than that. There was no way of knowing whether it really would come to pass - or so she desperately wanted to believe - but Helen wouldn’t allow her to finish.

“Don’t you dare tell me that wasn’t real, you felt what I felt!” The linguist exclaimed and pulled away.

“Did you tell Liv about this?” The professor asked tentatively as she watched her friend scrambling to her feet unsteadily.

“How could I? She would have taken the risk, bullheaded, stubborn daredevil that she is. She wouldn’t have listened!” Helen ran her hands through her hair anxiously and tried to wipe her face clean of tears.

“No, I don’t think she would have,” River had to concede as she got up herself.

“So I had no choice. I had to say ‘no’,” the linguist said more softly and sounded regretful and guilty. “I told her that I thought it best if we- I told her I didn’t love her anymore, that I never really- and that it was getting too real and-” She started stuttering, she was ashamed and felt like this was her opportunity to confess and hopefully get some small measure of absolution.  

“And she bought that?” The professor would have laughed if the situation hadn’t been so sad. It was obvious to anyone that had ever spent time with the two of them that Helen was head over heels in love with Liv. A statement to the contrary was absurd.

“She left so, she must have done,” the linguist answered in a small voice.

“But she left the ring?” River questioned, almost hopefully and Helen gave a bitter chuckle:

“She said it had only ever been meant for me,” she shook her head and took a deep breath as she fought more tears. “Stupid, stubborn-”

“Doesn’t that tell you something?” The professor asked softly but Helen didn’t answer the question, instead she just said:

“She will be happy with Tania.” She wiped her tears and carried on, trying her best to sound positive: “She’s lovely, she will make her happy!”

“Helen…” River didn’t doubt that Tania - whoever she was - was a lovely person but it wasn’t right to force another life on Liv just like that. Her apprehension was more than obvious in her voice and Helen realised that she wouldn’t get the approval from her that she graved. She hung her head, accepting that she would have to continue fighting the demons of her decision by herself and said:

“Now, I think you should go. Tell the Doctor to leave it be, give my apologies to Tula, I- I don’t think I can face her. Or him. Or anyone. I just…”

“What are you going to do?” River asked compassionately and reached for her hand.

“I don’t know. Wallow in self-pity. Try not to lose the will to live. Try to make my peace with what I’ve done and… try not to hate myself,” the linguist answered honestly. There was no point in pretending otherwise.

“Helen, I’m so sorry,” the professor said and gave her hand a squeeze. Her compassion was genuine. She understood the desire for self-sacrifice in order to protect the person she loved better than a lot of people. Every encounter with her husband in his past hurt her deeply for the distance that remained between them, but she knew of the importance of keeping the timelines running smoothly, even if it was at her own expense. She felt for Helen and Liv alike.

“Me too,” Helen gave a sorrowful smile. “Believe me, you have no idea how much I-” She broke off as she couldn’t find words for the grief she felt at the loss of the person she considered the love of her life. What a life it had been. While it had lasted, anyway.

“Look after yourself, please,” River requested and the linguist nodded, even though she had no idea how to do that.

“You too, River. Thank you for- listening I guess,” she wiped her tears. “Understanding, I hope… just… thank you.”

“You will contact me if you need anything, won’t you?” The professor asked, well aware that there was nothing else she could do here. There was no changing Helen’s mind, not for her anyway. She would have to employ other methods and she could only hope her friend would forgive her.

“Of course,” the linguist answered gratefully.

“Well?” Tula spoke first when River returned to the control room. She stood by the console, arms crossed over her chest as they had been tensely awaiting her return. The Doctor looked around too, hoping for answers.

“I best be on my way,” the professor said, programming her Vortex Manipulator.

“What happened? What did she say?” The Doctor frowned, confused by her eagerness to depart and Tula prompted:

“Did you find out what happened?”

River looked up from her Vortex Manipulator into their questioning, anxious faces and she couldn’t bring herself to keep them in the dark. They were as concerned about Liv and Helen as she was and while she didn’t want to betray Helen’s trust, she felt like they deserved to know.

“She thinks if she and Liv get married, Liv will die,” she answered bluntly as she didn’t know how to break the news more gently. It was a dreadful, heartbreaking situation whichever way she turned it, so she figured the concise truth would serve them best.

“What? That’s-” Tula didn’t know what to say while the Doctor’s expression darkened.

“What makes her think that?”

“Caleera’s powers have returned. She had a vision,” River answered with a heavy sigh.

“By Rassilon, why didn’t she-” The Doctor couldn’t believe she had kept that from him. He could have helped, he knew he could!

“I don’t know if it is the future, she believes it is. It could be nothing,” River carried on with what she desperately wanted to believe. “It could be a nightmare realised, it could be Caleera’s jealous and malicious influence, or it could be their future together- I don’t know I-” She took a deep breath to gather her thoughts. “She’s trying to protect Liv, that’s all it was ever about-” She broke off and averted her eyes from her husband, returning to the task of setting coordinates on the device on her wrist.

“River, are you okay?” The Doctor asked and took a step towards her, unsettled by her changed behaviour. While in possession of his memories of her, he knew her to be a confident, joyful person, her subdued posture and sombre expression were unsettling.

“I will be, I just… I thought they could have had it all. But it’s never quite that straightforward, is it? Sometimes there is just not enough… time,” she looked up and gave him a sad smile.

“River-,” he started but she didn’t allow him to finish.

“I best be off…” She stated and turned to Tula. “It was good to meet you, Tula, sorry I can’t stay but there is somewhere important I have to be.” She knew it was probably a bad idea. It wasn’t her place to interfere but she had to try.

“You too. Thank you for trying…” She gave a sad smile, finding herself at a loss for what to do next. It was good to know that Helen’s reasons for refusing her sister’s proposal but the answers didn’t make things any easier.

“See that Helen is okay, won’t you?” River turned back to her husband.

“Of course,” he nodded solemnly. “Thank you for your help.”

“See you soon, Sweetie,” River smiled and leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his lips, taking his memories as she knew she had to, no matter how much it hurt. “Nice seeing you again. Until the next time, I hope…”

---

Liv Chenka lay on the sofa and was flicking through Netflix.

“Why is there nothing to watch?!” She groaned to herself while picking at her dinner. She had treated herself to the nice stuff - Waitrose ready meal, rather than Asda’s home brand - in an attempt to cheer herself up but it wasn’t working. The day had been a write off and now she couldn’t even find anything to watch. Part of her insisted she should stop using Tania’s Netflix account anyway so she turned the telly off. She knew that Tania probably didn’t mind - she could have changed the password if she wanted to - but Liv was beginning to feel awkward about it. They had broken up three weeks ago and while they remained friendly, the med-tech felt she had no more right to anything that was hers.

The first, most obvious step had been moving back into flat four. She didn’t have enough things to properly fill the space so it felt sparse and empty, not to mention incredibly lonely. In the silence of the flat, Liv considered the series of events that had brought her there and considered the many mistakes she had made. Well, one impulsive mistake, actually. She should have known returning to Tania after everything that had happened with Helen was a bad idea. There was no way she could just have picked up where they had left off, not after- She skewered the read-meal pasta with her fork angrily, trying not to think about Helen. There was no use. The damage was done, she was stuck in 2021, all alone with no money or life to speak off, and she was at a complete loss of what to do. It was not a nice place to be, physically or mentally. Tomorrow, she would try for another job, she decided. Today’s job hunt had left a lot to be desired but maybe, tomorrow would be better…

She skewered more pasta and gave herself over to her gloomy thoughts when suddenly, with a snap of temporal energy, the figure appeared right in front of her coffee table.

Liv gave an undignified yelp and launched the ready-meal packet into the air.  

“What the-” She exclaimed, her dinner spilling everywhere, but when she recognised the person in front of her, she forgot all about the mess. “River?!” She jumped to her feet.

“Miss Chenka, a delight as always,” River flashed her a stunning smile.

“What are you- how did you-” Liv looked around, utterly confused, struggling to comprehend what she was doing in her shitty little flat and how she even knew where she was.

“See, I found myself in need of medical advise and thought: who do I know that’s a med-tech? I hope I’m not intruding?” The professor retorted as she scanned the space she found herself in. She frowned, taking in the mess and the state of her friend in front of her.

“No, no… I have literally nothing else to do…” Liv stated, trying to not sound too miserable about it. She put on a brave smile and quickly picked up her spilled dinner as best as she could. “Do you want a cup of tea? Apparently that’s what people do in this time when people visit, first thing you do is offer tea. I’ve learned a lot. Only… I don’t have any clean mugs I think, but I can wash up-” She cast a glance over to the kitchen area where dishes were stacked high.

“You ought to, yes…” River couldn’t help but agree.

“Sorry about the mess, I…” Liv took a deep breath. She knew she had let things get away from her which was annoying given the fact that she’d had very little else to do to occupy her time, but she hadn’t had the mental capacity to face it. Heartbreak was a bitch.

“You do seem to be in one, yes,” the professor commented but not unkindly as she watched her make her way to the kitchen and busied herself retrieving the two least dirty mugs.

“So what’s the problem, medically speaking. Why are you here?” The med-tech inquired as she put the kettle on to boil. “You seem perfectly fine.” She cast a glance over her shoulder and assessed her from a distance.

“The medical advice isn't for me, but a dear friend who is dying of a broken heart,” River answered and made her way over.

“Ah right…” Liv turned back to the sink to hide her face. “Yeah, I think you got it the wrong way around though.” There was a certain bitterness to her words as she considered the situation she found herself in. Wherever Helen was now, however she was feeling, it had been her choice, her own doing. Liv, however, had been the unwilling participant with limited options.

“So where is the lovely Tania? Your girlfriend, so I hear? I would love to meet her.” Picking up on her apprehension, she decided to take a step back and steer clear of the subject of Helen.

“Flat 1, ground floor. And she's not my girlfriend. Not anymore. You’re about… three weeks late for that,” Liv huffed and did her best to sound as indifferent as she could.

“Three weeks in which you haven’t had time to brush your hair?” The professor stated and it prompted the med-tech to quickly run her hand through her hair self-consciously. “What happened?”

“Apparently I wasn't... Present enough, I wasn't... With it, with her, enough,” Liv answered truthfully as she rinsed out the two mugs. While she wasn’t the type to lay her heart bare for anyone to see or reveal details of her love life - before the series of events that had brought her here, she never would have considered sharing these things with River - but right now, it felt good to talk to someone. River was part of the life she missed so dearly and never thought she would be allowed contact with again. It felt good to have the opportunity to talk to someone, a friend in particular, that knew of the life she had had before, so she decided to grasp it.

“That's difficult to do after you've had your heart broken,” River commented and watched the med-tech place the mugs by the kettle.

“I really thought I could do it,” Liv mumbled without looking at her. “I loved Tania, it’s just…”

“She isn't Helen,” the professor interrupted and she understood only too well.

Liv didn't answer, she just threw a tea bag into each mug while she waited for the kettle to boil.

“I understand that better than most, you know,” River offered up more of an explanation and stepped closer. “It's easy to form attachments. Casual or deep. But there is always that one, isn't there?”

“And she's it for me. She always has been,” Liv admitted in a small voice that tugged at the professor’s heartstrings. She knew her friend to be a strong, confident woman, to witness her reduced to self-doubt and sorrow was heartbreaking. She wanted to find words of comfort but the med-tech carried on speaking as she picked up the kettle. “I can't even be mad with Tania, she deserves better than my distracted, half hearted affections. I'm not exactly easy at the best of times...”

“No you're not,” River jumped at the opportunity to make light of things, if just for a moment.

“Thanks,” Liv actually chuckled as her quip had the desired effect. She filled their mugs with hot water, added milk and handed one over to the professor who gave her a warm smile of thanks. “So you’ve… you’ve been to see her?” The med-tech asked cautiously as they made their way back into the main living area. She was torn. Part of her didn’t want to be thinking of Helen as her heart broke all over again every time she did, but another, overwhelming part, longed to know how she was, if she was struggling as much as her, and if, perhaps, she regretted her decision. There had to be a reason for this visit after all…

“I was summoned, if you will. The Doctor, the TARDIS, they were concerned for her,” River explained as she gracefully perched on the side of an armchair as the seat itself was littered with clothes and books. Liv would have scrambled to clear the space for her, had she not taken her words badly.

“Ha! Right,” she huffed, bitterly, as she dropped onto the sofa, careful to avoid what remained of her spilled dinner. “She’s the one we’re all concerned with, great.” Her tone was sharp with sarcasm. She regretted even asking.

“I heard what happened,” River gave back gently and Liv gave a disbelieving kind of laugh.

“Do you? In painful detail? It was quite something, you know.” She shook her head to herself, staring into her mug, trying to divine meaning from the milky liquid but couldn’t. When the professor didn’t answer, she carried on: “It was soul crushing, really. You can’t possibly imagine what it was like,” she tightened her grip around the mug and her knuckles turned white with the tension. Even if Helen had told her about what had happened, she couldn’t imagine her giving her the whole truth and Liv would happily set the record straight. “I woke up to her bright smile in the morning and thought ‘yes, today is the day I will ask her to marry me and she will say ‘yes’ and we will make that commitment to each other and it will be wonderful’. Because I really thought she would, I had no reason not to.” She paused and took a moment to gather her thoughts. Thinking about it sent a shiver down her back, even now. She had been utterly unprepared for what had followed. “We were happy, River, so happy! I don’t know what happened…” She sounded almost numb as she carried on, shaking her head to herself. She took a sip of her tea that was almost too hot still, and carried on without looking up: “And then, the day just… got away from me. And I found myself in somebody else’s bed in the evening of that very same day and I lay there wondering how it could all have gone so terribly wrong. And I had no answer for it. I still haven’t,” she gave a shrug and a bitter laugh. “If she had explained at least…” She sipped more of her tea for something to do and swallowed her tears along with the hot drink. She didn’t want to cry, not again, she had done far too much of that already.

“I don’t think she thought you would understand…” River offered gently as her heart went out to her friend. She could see how much she was hurting.

“That’s right, I don’t understand!” Liv voice turned sharp in an angry outburst. “She was horrible about it too! It wasn’t enough to say ‘no’. I guess I could have lived with that, lots of people don’t get married but- She broke up with me. She said our relationship had been… ‘convenient’ but it was getting too much, too real. That it was just a- I don’t know- phase or circumstances that made it happen, that- She said she never really loved me.” By the end of her rant, she couldn’t hold the tears at bay any longer.

“I’m sorry,” River said softly as the med-tech wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“So you understand why I couldn’t stay?” Liv took a deep breath to gather herself. “She- it was as if she was trying as hard as she possibly could to drive me away. And she succeeded… It was cruel, is what it was.” She hung her head as it was something she had never expected to say about her but it was the truth. The way she had put an abrupt end to their relationship had been exactly that.

“And did you think that was… normal behaviour for her?” River asked cautiously. “Does Helen Sinclair really have a cruel bone in her body?”

“No,” the med-tech replied, which was what had made things so much worse. It was the complete lack of understanding. Whichever way she turned things, Helen's behaviour and decision made no sense. If she hadn’t been ready for marriage yet, she had only needed to say so. But this?

“Do you think she would ever want to hurt you?” The professor carried on, encouraged by her answer.

“Not until that moment,” Liv conceded though she couldn’t see where she was going with this.

“Well then, maybe you can think of another trait, equally as harmful, that might have caused this?” River prompted, hoping to gently steer her in the right direction. She knew it wasn’t really her place to get involved but equally, she felt she had to. While a classic happy ending had never been in the cards for her and the Doctor, she hoped she could at least help them achieve theirs. Or at least put them both in possession of the facts so they could make an educated decision together. “This is a woman who spent 40 years in solitude because she wanted to save your life,” she thought it fitting to remind her.

“What do you know? Did she say something?” Of course, Liv picked up on her knowing more than she was saying. She frowned as her emotions shifted from bitterness and sorrow to curiosity and a hopefulness that rationally, she knew she shouldn’t be indulging.

“And she would do it again. She would forsake a lifetime of happiness if she thought it would save you,” River carried on, hoping she would catch her meaning.

“But why, how-” Liv was puzzled and found herself caught between wanting to hope and fearing disappointment. The professor decided to take the plunge, for better or for worse, and just tell her. She couldn’t keep her in the dark any longer.

“I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing by telling you but I don't want either of you to suffer when you so obviously do. Helen's psychic powers have resurfaced. She had a vision in which... You died. Both of you. Before your time.” It was a blunt, straightforward way of putting it but River knew Liv would prefer it that way, like a plaster being ripped off.

“What?” The med-tech stared at her in disbelief as she tried to process her words. She needed a moment.

“It wasn’t me that told you,” River interjected quickly, mindful of her meddling but Liv was barely listening.

“Is she okay?” She asked quickly as she forgot about her bitterness for a moment. “Caleera’s powers, are they harming her, is she-” Helen’s well-being became her main concern as if nothing had ever happened.

“Physically, she is fine. But she’s not doing well, Liv, I won’t lie to you.” River gave her friend a sad smile and reached out to grasp her hand. “It’s tearing her apart but she won’t see reason,” she carried on explaining. “She thinks if you weren't together anymore, that future would never come to pass.” She felt the need to state it as plainly as that so there would be no way of misinterpreting things. “She is trying to save you. More than herself. Personally, I think she’s killing herself doing it. If not physically, at least…” She considered Helen’s fragile mental state which was similar to what she had seen in Liv upon her arrival with the exception of the crippling guilt.

“But that’s- she doesn't even know if-” Liv’s mind immediately jumped to the same place the professor’s had. A vision was a vision, not a guarantee.

“She doesn't, nobody does, but she won't risk it,” River answered softly.

“You know I don't care, don’t you?” The words burst out of the med-tech. “You know I'd rather die with her tomorrow than spend a full life without her!” She argued hotly and honestly. Her entire perspective shifted with a violent jolt as suddenly, everything was beginning to make sense. Helen had been trying to protect her as she had always done. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her - quite the contrary - it was the fact that she loved her too much to allow any future in which she would get hurt. Even if that future wasn’t a certainty. Even if that meant they couldn’t have a future together anymore. Even if that meant hurting her in the short term, so she could have a future in the long run. The worst thing about it all, however, was that she hadn’t told her. That she had kept it from her. And that she had taken the decision out of her hands. Sadly, Liv understood why. She would have stayed, no matter how hard Helen had tried to convince her to go. Helen knew her too well. She had taken the only course of action she had seen available to her, regardless of how much it hurt both of them. But just because she understood didn’t mean she agreed, far from it. She wanted to have a short life with Helen, rather than a long one without her, that she was sure on. And she would tell her as much when she saw her.

“I know that but I'm not sure she is willing to accept that,” River pointed out with a sad smile.

“Then how do I change her mind?” Liv pressed and leaned forward, gripped by a sense of determination and renewed hope. She was nothing if not stubborn. Now that she knew what all this had been about, she was determined to get back to Helen and give her a piece of her mind.

“I haven't got all the answers and really, I shouldn't be getting involved,” the professor replied but felt a lot better for seeing the fight returning to her friend. That was what she had hoped for. She knew Liv would fight for her life with Helen, even if it meant a life cut short.

“Then why are you here?” Liv groaned frustrated. She was grateful to her for telling her but frustrated by her inaction. She was itching to get going and do something.

“Because I couldn’t not get involved either. I care about you both a great deal,” River answered truthfully.

“Can you at least take me back to the TARDIS with you then so I can talk to her?” Liv asked and stood, her tea forgotten on the coffee table, along with the rest of her life in 2021. She had no use of it.

“I don't think that would be the solution,” River gave a shake of her head as she had given the matter considerable thought. “She would know I betrayed her trust and we both know she can be very stubborn. No, I think you need to find a different way.”

“But how?! You can’t just drop this on me and be on your way!” Liv snapped more sharply than she intended.

“I mean, I couldn't say but I imagine it might be helpful to contact someone in this time that has a way of getting hold of the Doctor,” River suggested almost casually and stood up as well. “Someone like, say, UNIT?”

“UNIT doesn't exist in this time," the med-tech rolled her eyes. She had learned as much from Tania when she had been looking for possible job opportunities that didn’t involve standing behind a cash register.

"Not officially and I probably shouldn’t be telling you that. But who can blame you if I just happen to lose a note with Kate Stewart's address in your flat?" She casually dropped something onto the coffee table. “I'm sure you will be able to work something out.” She then turned her attention to her Vortex Manipulator, having accomplished what she had set out to do.

Carefully, Liv picked up the note and studied it. It was indeed an address and in London no less.

“She- Why wasn’t she just… honest? She could have told me and we could have tried finding a way around it together. She didn’t have to break my heart,” Liv felt the need to ask before River departed.

“The only way to be sure you wouldn’t be in that place together where you die was to ensure you would never see each other again. That is what she was trying to do,” the professor answered gently and the med-tech nodded.

“Right…” She couldn’t quite help the lingering bitterness.

“Do you think you could have done it?” River asked, picking up on her apprehension.

“What?” Liv looked up to her with a frown.

“Told her you never loved her,” the professor elaborated and the med-tech hung her head.

“No,” she answered bitterly as she didn’t know whether that made her weak or was proof that Helen’s feelings really weren’t as strong for her as hers were for the linguist.

“Then maybe you can imagine what it took out of her to do it. Just how much she wanted to protect you. She has already spent a lifetime alone for you… Just- try to remember how hard it must have been for her before judging her too harshly,” River explained and Liv took a deep breath. She fought tears as she considered her words.

“I still love her all the same,” she said at last and looked back to River who finished her adjustments to the Vortex Manipulator ready for departure.

“Then I’m sure you will find a way forward. Together,” she offered kindly.

Act IV

“Do you maybe want to go and see her? Check if she's okay?” Tula prompted and the Doctor looked around, confused, as if he had only just realised she was there.

“Check on who?” He frowned as his brain took a moment to fill the gaps River had left in his mind.

“On Helen. Are you okay, Doctor?” The overtech asked, bewildered by his odd behaviour.

“I suppose I should, shouldn’t I…” The Doctor mumbled, trying to figure out what he had been doing before she had posed her question. “Are you okay to hang around?” He asked as he still wasn’t quite sure what to do about Helen. He understood why she had forced Liv to leave but had no idea what to do about it. Tula was here. And there was literally no-one else he could turn to.

“In an actual time machine? Definitely,” the overtech tried to mask her worries with excitement as she looked around the console room. She was still processing what River had said. There was no way she was going to leave now. Perhaps they could find a way to clear things up that didn’t involve anyone dying. Perhaps if she stuck around, they could find Liv and convince her to come back, maybe even to Kaldor. All she knew was that she was not going to give up on seeing her sister again without a fight. “Yes, I… I want to know if there is anything to be done.”

“I’ll be back,” the Doctor agreed and Tula nodded as he departed.

“Helen?” The Doctor knocked against the doorframe as he slowly entered the library. He found his friend by the fire once more as it seemed to be where she felt most comfortable.

“Doctor,” she responded with a sigh. She looked even more drained than she had done before their arrival on Kaldor and he wondered what had been going on with her in the meantime.

“Are you-” He wasn’t sure whether asking if she was alright was the best course of action but he never got to finish the question as she interrupted him.

“Bringing River was a cheap ploy,” she shot him a look but all he could do was frown in response.

“Who?”

Helen gave an exasperated sigh as she realised that she had wiped his memories.

“Right, of course, mustn’t upset the timeline, must make sure everything happens according to plan, no matter who suffers and who dies and who-” Her voice was laced with biting sarcasm that he found suited Liv far more than her. He skimmed over her complaint as he didn’t know what it was in reference to and had far greater concerns.

“The Sonomancer’s powers have returned?” He wasn’t quite sure how he knew but he did and it was unsettling. She should have mentioned it before.

“I guess so,” she averted her eyes. She wasn’t exactly keen on a lecture. She had dealt with things in her own way and that was that. It had only been the one vision, the powers had faded again so she hadn’t seen the need to fill him in.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped,” the Doctor’s voice was gentle and considerate and it was far worse than a lecture would have been. Helen figured River must have told him and even if he didn’t remember her and how he came by the information, he now understood why she had gone out of her way to chase Liv away.

“There is nothing anyone could have done. It was my only choice-” She mumbled as she felt guilty not only over how she had broken the med-tech’s heart, but also towards the Doctor for taking his best friend away from him. “I was only trying to do the right thing.” It was, at its heart, an apology.

“I know,” the Doctor replied, sharing in her sorrow. “Is it okay if I sit?”

Helen was admittedly surprised but nodded slowly. It wasn’t like the Doctor to engage with her - or anyone, she didn’t take it personally - on such a human level. He wasn’t good at dealing with emotions and the fact that he overcame his nature to care for her reflected the depth of his concern. It was more than Helen felt she deserved and she took a deep breath fighting to keep her composure. The Doctor sat next to her and silence fell between them for a while. He didn’t know what to say and she was struggling with her demons. In the end, Helen decided she ought to at least explain, perhaps then he would be able to forgive her.

“I loved her, Doctor,” she spoke and wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. She watched the flames dancing in the fireplace and found them almost mesmeric. She had taken to sitting by the fire not because of its warmth but so she could look at the flames. They brought the memories back, the vision, she felt as though she could see Liv’s face among them with a sorrowful yet loving smile as they faced their last moments together. It was both a punishment and a source of strength as she needed the constant reminder of her motivations. It was the only way to keep her resolve. Now that she wasn’t alone in her terrible knowledge anymore, her words became an explanation as much as a confession: “I love her. I will never stop loving her and I just- I want to be with her, but I can’t let her die. I miss her so much already, and the look on her face when I- Every time I close my eyes I see that disappointment and I don’t know what to do.” That was why she chose to stare into the fire rather than sleep, despite being desperately tired. In the flames, Liv loved her, chose to sacrifice herself alongside her with nothing but love between them. But whenever Helen closed her eyes, she remembered what she had done to prevent that future. She saw the expression of heartbreak and disappointment on Liv’s face when she had told her ‘no’ and denounced her love for her. It had been terrible to watch.

“Maybe you should just be honest with her, tell her what you saw and…” The Doctor made a weak attempt at changing her mind but quickly she shook her head.

“I can’t do that, I can’t put that on her. I can’t allow her to die because of me, not for anything, I will try to do whatever I can.” Her words came quickly, like a waterfall of justifications and the Doctor fell silent again, as did the linguist herself. They sat in silence for a moment, then suddenly, her tears started falling and she sobbed: “Besides, she’s gone back to Tania, so-”

“Oh Helen.” The Doctor reached out and pulled her into his arms.  

---

“You know there is really no need for this, I’m unarmed.”

Liv’s knees hit the ground with a painful thud. She knew she shouldn’t be fighting but she did anyway, it was in her nature. She didn’t enjoy being manhandled, even if it was by the good guys. Granted, perhaps she shouldn’t have broken into the house when she’d got there but what else had she been meant to do? She had rung the bell and knocked! No-one had opened up and it was definitely the address River had left her with. She had been grabbed the moment the door had closed behind her and her arms were being twisted onto her back.

“I’m looking for UNIT, okay? You’ll be laughing about this when you find out who I am,” the med-tech tried to sound brave and confident but she didn’t feel it.

“I sincerely doubt that.” A tall, blonde woman emerged from the shadows and stepped into the middle of the entrance hall. She was pointing a gun at her head and Liv froze. Maybe breaking in hadn’t been such a brilliant idea. Perhaps River had gotten it wrong? She had been suspicious when she had found herself in a residential area, rather than a military complex but she had given the professor the benefit of the doubt. She had called it “Kate Stewart’s address” not a UNIT base after all. Now, she could only presume it was the infamous Kate Stewart herself that was staring her down and she couldn’t blame her. Liv wouldn’t have taken kindly to someone breaking into Baker Street either and she wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t an emergency. “Perhaps you wouldn’t mind sharing who it is you think you are, how you came by this address and what you’re doing here?” Kate assessed her with keen eyes and visibly tightened the grip on her gun.

“Liv Chenka, I’m Liv Chenka, okay?” The med-tech spoke quickly and decided it was best to show willingness and submit. She stopped struggling against the guard behind her to show good faith. A gesture for which she was rewarded with handcuffs. She took a deep breath and sent a silent prayer to whichever forces were listening that she hadn’t made a terrible mistake.

“Liv Chenka?” Kate frowned, lowering her gun a little to have a better look at her, and Liv felt reassured at the flash of recognition across her face.

“Yes,” she nodded eagerly.

“Impossible,” the UNIT chief decided and raised her gun again.

“It’s really not impossible, I really am!” The med-tech insisted with a hint of panic in her voice. Why didn’t she believe her? She tried to pull away but the guard held her firmly by her shoulders.

“I don’t know who you think you are but Liv Chenka is-” Kate started and Liv chose to interrupt her. She needed to make her case while she could.

“Right here. The Doctor left me, okay? And I got this address from River Song, so please-”

“River Song?” Kate echoed incredulously and the med-tech nodded again.

“Yes! She said this was Kate Stewart’s address, that’s you, right? Head of UNIT? How would I know these things if I wasn’t who I say I am?”

The UNIT chief appeared to be pondering her words for a moment. She had an exceptional poker face and Liv’s heart was beating fast with anxiety. What would they do to her if they didn’t believe her? Perhaps Helen’s premonition would come true another way…

“Please- I’m trying to get in touch with the Doctor, I’m stranded here. I need your help,” she pleaded, which didn’t come natural to her but given the circumstances she was willing to try anything to get back to Helen.

“How did you come to be stranded in this time?” Kate asked at last and Liv let go of the breath she had been holding. It was a start.

“I asked him to drop me off. It was a mistake, I don’t belong here, I need to get in touch with him and I thought - River thought when we met briefly - that UNIT would be my best chance,” the explained, trying her best to sound calm and collected. The UNIT chief took in her words and while her expression remained unreadable, Liv drew hope from the fact that she was listening to her. “Can I please get up?” She asked slowly. “What am I going to do, I’m literally half his size.” She cast a quick glance at the guard who stood behind her.

“It’s okay Josh,” Kate decided after a moment of consideration in which she seemed to assess how much of a threat she could be by this point.

“How can you be sure it’s her?” Josh let go of her as requested and Liv struggled to her feet. It seemed the handcuffs would remain for the time being and she shot a quick glance at the UNIT soldier who grabbed her arm so she couldn’t go far.

“Osgood should be able to help,” Kate answered him, then turned her attention back to the med-tech. “We have our scientific advisor on hand. If you are who you say you are, I’m sure we will be able to establish that very quickly. And then we can carry on this conversation. Don’t try anything.” In good faith, she put her gun away.

“What am I going to do?” Liv sighed sarcastically as she couldn’t help herself while she tugged at the handcuffs.

“Take her through, Josh,” the UNIT chief ignored her and waved for the soldier to follow.

“I can walk by myself, thanks,” the med-tech huffed and pulled her arm out of his grasp as she followed Kate further into the house. The inside looked like a regular house, just as the outside had done and she wondered whether this actually was the UNIT chief’s home. “I sort of expected a high security facility, not a townhouse.” She commented as they walked into the living room.

“Makes for an effective cover. UNIT doesn’t officially exist,” Kate answered almost pleasantly and pressed her hand to an interface by the door - certainly not standard home equipment. With a snap, their surroundings changed! Liv could only presume it had been a sort of perception filter or perhaps a very effective trans-mat but suddenly, the room resembled a laboratory!

“Pretty well kitted out townhouse for an organisation that doesn’t exist,” the med-tech tried to sound matter-of-factly about it but she was deeply impressed. And more than that: she was beginning to feel hopeful. With technology such as this at their disposal, surely contacting the Doctor would be child’s play.

”Osgood?” Kate spoke up and on cue, a young woman stood from behind several large computer screens. She was wearing a lab coat over a colourful waistcoat that Liv was sure could have been from the Doctor’s own wardrobe.

“Yes, Ma’am?” She asked curiously and as she looked around, her gaze fell on the med-tech. Her eyes widened with recognition, she opened her mouth to speak but didn’t seem able to get any words out to start with.

“It appears we have company.” Kate gestured towards Liv but before she could elaborate, the scientific advisor rushed forward.

“It’s an honour to meet you, Med-tech Chenka, honestly, I-” Osgood started and blushed deeply, much to the dismay of the UNIT chief. She extended her hand seemingly eager to shake hers only to realise she had been handcuffed. She cast a questioning glance to Kate.

“And you’re sure it’s her?” She asked pointedly, just stopping short of telling her to get herself together. “With everything that’s happening right now, we can’t be too careful and there is no reason why this Doctor should be here now,” she explained.

“The Doctor isn't here, that’s half the problem!” Liv interjected quickly but they paid no attention to her.

“Yes, I mean, it’s-” Osgood started but the look on Kate’s face told her that she better make very sure indeed. “But of course, a scan to confirm-” She pulled a scanner from her lab coat pocket and took a step closer. Liv would have considered it an intrusive gesture but the awkward clumsiness with which she approached made it difficult to view it as such so she didn’t comment. She merely cast a glance at the scanner and observed:

“That’s not 2020 tech.”

“We like to be ahead of our time,” Osgood replied with a proud smile and Liv nodded awaiting the results of the scan. It was an utter waste of time but she appreciated their need to be thorough. Judging by the trouble they had gone to to hide this place, there were a lot of things going on she wasn’t privy to. ”Base code human but advanced, consistent with what we know of the 30th century,” Osgood reported to Kate who nodded.

“I could have brought you my dog-tags if that would have helped,” the med-tech couldn’t help but huff. “Space service service number? My mother’s maiden name? Just how detailed are your records?” It was strange to think that there were people here, in this century, that seemed to know exactly who she was and she had never even been aware of it.

“Well, I have our records right here, actually,” Osgood observed and retrieved a tablet from inside her coat. Liv couldn’t help but wonder if this was more advanced technology, perhaps her pockets were dimensionally transcendental like the TARDIS. She handed the tablet to Kate who skim-read for a moment, then looked back to the med-tech.

“I suppose it is you, the notes mention something about you being ‘snarky’,” she raised her eyebrows at her with what could be interpreted as a playful smirk.

“Does it?” Osgood leaned over to check the report. “Oh yes.”

“It doesn’t,” Liv scowled but the tension around them dispersed as they seemed to accept she was who she claimed to be. A weight fell off her shoulders.  

“Would you like to see?” Kate offered with a chuckle. “Josh, take the handcuffs off,” she instructed the soldier who complied quickly while she read out: “Med-tech Liv Chenka. From 30th century Kaldor, travelling companion of the Doctor’s for quite a long time. What are you doing here by yourself?”

“I need you to help me find the Doctor,” Liv replied, feeling like they were finally getting somewhere. She rubbed her wrists and shook out her arms.“I don’t belong here, as you’ve just pointed out. I’d like a ride home. Can you help me with that?” The words spilled out of her as a wave of hope and excitement gripped her.

“Well, Dr. Chenka…” Kate started and Osgood interrupted:

“It’s Med-tech Chenka, actually, Ma’am,” she supplied quickly. “Med-techs don’t use a doctor title. Dr. Chenka would be her wife…” She pointed out something on the tablet and Liv’s heart skipped a beat. She wasn’t sure if she had heard her right, she blinked, stunned, and the conversation carried on without her input as Kate asked:

“Who is an actual doctor?”

“PhD, actually, ancient languages,” the scientific adviser explained and turned her attention back to Liv. “At least, to our knowledge. Is that right, Med-tech Chenka.”

“I uh- Yes-” The med-tech stuttered as she tried to process the implications of what she had just heard. “Helen is a linguist if that’s what-” She broke off. The Doctor’s words rang in her ears: Establish your own future and it’s fixed. If UNIT’s records listed Helen as her wife, did that mean that they really would get married? A terrifying combinations of anxiety and excitement came over her with an idea that could be both incredibly brave and incredibly stupid. Her favourite kind of ideas.

“Well, now that we have that cleared up, Med-tech Chenka, how can we be of service? Any friend of the Doctor is a friend of ours.”

---

“Doctor? I’m sorry but… can I borrow you for a second?” Tula stuck her head into the Library. She had not expected to find the Doctor as quickly as this when she had ventured further into the TARDIS. It was almost as if the Space and Time Ship had wanted her to find him quickly. She spotted him sitting on the sofa by the fire.

“Of course.” The Doctor looked around and the overtech stepped closer. As she approached she realised Helen was there too. She was resting, lying down with her head on the Doctor’s lap and he was stroking her hair in a soothing pattern. “What is it?” He asked quietly as the linguist appeared to be sleeping.

“Something just started flashing on your console, it’s not stopping. I didn’t want to touch anything without you,” she explained. “Sorry.” She felt bad for interrupting. Helen looked pale and exhausted and seemed in dire need of the rest she was having.

“Let’s go and have a look,” the Doctor agreed and gently moved his friend's head so he could get up. Tula passed him a pillow to put under her head in his stead. “She’ll be okay,” he answered the question she didn’t voice. “Mild hypnosis, stops her overthinking for a while, stops the nightmares…” His voice drifted off and he brushed Helen’s hair behind her ear so it wouldn’t bother her. She needed to rest. A gave a sorrowful smile as he wished there was more he could do. “Let’s have a look at that flashing light,” he decided with a deep breath and took Tula back to the control room.  

“So?” The overtech prompted when the Doctor frowned at the persistently blinking light on the console. “What is it?”

“A distress signal…” The Time Lord answered slowly and started working the controls. He pulled up information on a screen and the blinking stopped as a result.

“From?” Tula asked, stepping closer for a better look.

“Earth! 2021!” The Doctor could hardly believe his eyes.

“You mean it’s-” The overtech didn’t want to get her hopes up, she didn’t complete the sentence for fear of being wrong but her heart leapt at the possibility.

“I don’t know, I wouldn't know, this is a UNIT signal, I didn't even think they were operating still in this time,” the Doctor answered, confused as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. And yet, it couldn’t be a coincidence, could it? As much as he wanted the distress signal to be Liv’s, there was a part of him that feared the possibility. What if Helen’s vision had been exactly right? What if this was the only way to protect the med-tech and Helen too? Or was that a decision he had no business making? Surely Liv had a right to know what was going on and have a say in what sort of a future she wanted.

“UNIT?” Tula echoed, pulling him from his thoughts.

“A military organization that I used to work for. Good people. Great people. I wonder... Do you fancy a trip?” It really was no decision at all. His hands were already moving on their own account as he set the coordinates included in the message. Distress calls were meant to be answered.

“You want me to come with you?” The overtech asked, surprised.

“There is always room for a Chenka aboard the TARDIS. And for all you know…” He gave her a look and they were in agreement. They had to try.

“Yes. I want to come with. On the off chance, at least I can try to talk some sense into her. If she won't come back here, maybe she'll at least come home with me,” Tula decided. No matter the circumstances, she couldn’t imagine her sister finding happiness or even contentment in the 21st century and if she was behind the distress signal, maybe she had realised the same thing.

“Yes. Good,” he nodded enthusiastically. Even if Liv and Helen jointly decided they ought to keep apart to prevent their prophesised deaths, at least returning to Kaldor with Tula would be an alternative for the med-tech.

“And Helen?” The overtech asked gently.

“We don't tell her, not until we get there.” The Doctor decided and pulled the lever that launched them into the Time Vortex.

“Don’t tell me what?” Helen’s soft, unsettled voice sounded behind them. They looked around to find the linguist slowly walking into the console room. She had wrapped her arms around herself, her complexion remained pale and drawn but her eyes were deep with concern and her expression furrowed with questions. “Doctor what's going on, where are we going? Did we just take off?”

“Answering a distress call,” he answered truthfully. He had hoped she would sleep through until they had had a chance to see what was going on, perhaps even talk to Liv if she was there, but no such luck. Even hypnosis couldn’t bring her peace, it seemed.

“Earth 2021?” The last bit of colour drained from the linguist’s face when she caught sight of the screen. “No, Doctor, no, you can't!” She half yelled, half pleaded. She reached for the console, intent on halting their journey but the Doctor stepped in her way.

“It's UNIT calling, not Liv,” he argued calmly. “And besides we answer distress calls, Helen. We always do, we answer all calls! If you stopped believing in that-” He implored her and her anger faded as she hung her head.

“No, of course, you're right,” she conceded softly but that didn’t prevent tears of desperation welling up in her eyes.

Act V

Liv dug her nails inside her palms as she waited. Her heart was hammering in her chest with anticipation, her body was so tense, she thought she might snap in half. She waited, as patiently as she could manage.

“Are you quite alright?” Kate asked and the med-tech forced a smile.

“Yes, just eager to get back,” she answered, which was the truth but there was a long way to go before then. She knew it wouldn’t be as easy as all that.

“You still haven’t told us how you ended up here by yourself,” the UNIT chief observed.

“It’s complicated,” Liv tried to evade the question and was saved by the bell when suddenly, a familiar wheezing, groaning sound started. The med-tech whipped around. Excitement, anxiety and a desperate longing were making her head spin more than the actual sharp movement.

The TARDIS materialised and Liv did everything in her power to prevent herself from crying tears of relief. She covered her mouth with her hand to suppress a sob and looked around when she felt soft, comforting pressure on her shoulder. Kate had placed her hand there, a kind and wordless gesture as she picked up on her emotional turmoil but didn’t pry.

The TARDIS door opened and Liv’s face fell when a familiar, yet completely unexpected shape emerged.

“Liv!” Tula exclaimed and she crossed the short space towards her in a sprint. She scooped up her sister in a bone-crushing hug and the med-tech was too stunned to do anything.

“T-Tula?” She stuttered and slowly returned her embrace, she couldn’t believe she was here. Out of all the scenarios she had envisaged in the past half hour before their arrival, this was not one of them. “What are you-” Her being here made no sense.

“I’ve come to talk some bloody sense into you, what were you thinking?!” Her older sister pulled away and gave her arm a slap.

“I-” Liv was too stunned to respond. How did Tula even know she was here? How did she come to be in the TARDIS? She had so many questions and no time to ask them as her sister continued:

“You staying in the ancient past?! When I heard I knew I had to-” She launched into a scolding and the med-tech held up her hands defensively.

“You don’t need to, I already know, I know it was a mistake,” she exclaimed quickly and Tula gave a huff. She then wrapped her arms around her more gently and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. Liv rested her head against her for a moment, taking comfort in her presence. She couldn’t believe she had been willing to risk never seeing her again.

“Hello Liv,” the Doctor spoke up, drawing her attention. He remained close by the TARDIS but his smile betrayed his joy for seeing her. He had missed her, even if it had only been a few days. He’d had to deal with the prospect of never seeing her again and had come to realise just how much he had come to depend on her presence in the TARDIS. The place had felt empty without her. 

“Doctor-” she smiled in return and pulled away from Tula. “Where is she?” She then asked as even the presence of her sister and her best friend could not distract her for long. She headed straight for the TARDIS.

“Liv, maybe we should all just-” The Doctor started taking a step towards her. Meanwhile, the UNIT staff exchanged curious glances as to what was going on but kept their distance, watched without interrupting just yet.

“Did something happen? Where is she? I need to speak to her!” Liv demanded, alarmed at the way the Doctor was baring her way. “Doctor, if you don’t let me through, I swear to God- Helen?!” She yelled in the direction of the TARDIS.

“Liv, maybe just-” Tula grabbed her sister’s wrist but the med-tech shook her off.

“No, stop it, I know everything! About the vision and- HELEN?!” She called. She had no idea how much the two of them knew, she knew she shouldn’t be mentioning River, so she simply focused on the one person this concerned.

Inside the TARDIS, Helen leaned onto the console and her tears fell once more. How was she supposed to do this? It had taken everything she had to let her go last time, she didn’t have the strength to do it again and yet, she longed for nothing more than to see her. Perhaps she could explain, perhaps she could ask for her forgiveness. She felt like a weight was lifted off her chest when Liv proclaimed that she knew what was going on. It had to have been River, Helen figured, there was no other explanation. She couldn’t even be angry with her, not when she knew she had been in the wrong for keeping it from Liv but that didn’t make it easier.

When Liv shouted her name again, she knew she couldn’t delay any longer. She had to face her and acknowledge the truth. Then they would be able to go their separate ways at last and perhaps she wouldn’t feel as guilty.

She took a deep breath and wiped her tears away. She would have to be strong and she couldn’t allow for Liv to sway her mind. She had to protect her, whether she liked it or not. No matter the cost.

“You don’t need to shout,” Helen said calmly when she stepped out of the TARDIS.

“Helen!” Liv’s expression brightened and the Doctor looked around. He let go of the med-tech and allowed her passage.

“What do you want, Liv?” The linguist asked as calmly and as coolly as she could manage. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and remained close by the TARDIS door so she could flee if needed. She realised there was quite an audience as three people who she presumed to be UNIT agents looked on curiously. She didn’t want to lay her heart bare in front of strangers so she hardened her expression as she faced Liv. “I thought we’d both been quite clear that-”

“Quite clear? I think things are very much the opposite of ‘quite clear’!” The med-tech interrupted her firmly. Her words were stern and demanding but not entirely unkind. Most of all, they conveyed her lack of understanding. “Why didn’t you tell me the Sonomancer’s powers had returned?!”

Helen remained quiet. She didn’t know what to say. She cast her eyes to the floor, refusing an explanation so Liv carried on:

“And what’s this about some vision of our deaths?”

“I don’t know what she told you…” The linguist started at last, avoiding using River’s name for the sake of the timelines and it felt almost ridiculous to do so. Why were they all even bothering with the bloody web of time? She cursed the laws of time for what they were doing to her life. Both River and the Doctor had warned them that foreknowledge was dangerous and it was the very thing that was ripping her future, her happiness, her life apart.  

“No. Don’t you blame her for this! She only did what you should have done! You should have told me,” Liv argued hotly when she realised what she meant and then turned her attention to the Doctor: “And so should you!”

“I didn’t know at the time…” The Time Lord answered, giving her a compassionate smile. He was sorry about how things had happened but there was no going back on it now. They had to figure out what to do now. Whether to walk away and leave things the way they were - perhaps by taking Liv back to Kaldor with Tula - or…

“Do you think I would have come back here if I had known what you were trying to do?” The med-tech snapped at Helen as anger and frustration got the better of her. “No offence, lovely planet and time period but certainly not my home!” She added quickly in the direction of the UNIT staff who were looking on with concern and confusion. She couldn’t really blame them. She had involved them in something that wasn’t their fight or their concern.

“Non taken,” Kate answered but wasn’t going to leave it at that. “I feel like we have been taken for a ride. What is going on here?” She looked from Liv to Tula to Helen and finally to the Doctor. “Doctor? Care to explain?”

“This is really not a UNIT matter,” he answered with an apologetic smile. “Just a… misunderstanding… a lover’s tiff, nothing…”

“Oh no,” Osgood breathed and clasped her hands over her mouth.  

“Osgood, what is it?” Kate asked with concern when she realised that the scientist had picked up on something. Her reaction made quite clear that it was something to be worried about.

“I think I’ve made a mistake, I think I've revealed too much,” she answered hastily in a shaky voice and patted down her lab coat in the search for her inhaler.

“What are you talking about?” The UNIT chief questioned, her voice reassuring rather than demanding and she put her hand on her shoulder as Osgood finally found her medication.

“No wedding bands,” she pointed out and the penny dropped for Kate as well. They never should have discussed her file without establishing where she was in her timeline.

“Yes, thank you for that, at least now I know that things will turn out alright,” Liv gave a desperate sort of laugh and a shake of her head as she regarded her hands for a moment.

“What do you mean?” The Doctor asked, confused. He got the sense he wouldn’t like where this was going.

“See, from what I gather UNIT, at this time, are far in advance of your personal timeline, Doctor. To them, you, me, Helen, we’re history,” Liv stated boldly. She had hoped Helen would simply change her mind. That she would apologise and say she didn’t care what the future held but that she wanted to spend the present with her, but that didn’t seem likely. So the med-tech would have to find another way of convincing her. It was a route she didn’t want to have to take but it seemed unavoidable. “They have files on us, you know. Our future, written out in black and white.”

“What?” Helen was struggling to keep up but the Doctor seemed to guess her intent.

“Liv, I don’t think that’s-” He tried to intervene but Liv wasn’t going to be dissuaded, she devoted her entire attention to the linguist.

“Turns out we do get married, Helen. Sorry. I know how desperately you were trying to avoid that…” She stated with disappointment and some lingering anger. She didn’t want to be angry with her, she understood that she’d had her reasons and was trying to protect her. What frustrated her was the fact that she should have known her better than that. She should have known that she wouldn’t have thought twice about staying and facing the consequences for the future.

“Oh no!” Osgood exclaimed when Liv pulled the data tablet from inside her coat.

“Med-tech Chenka, that’s-” Kate started when she too realised what it was.

“I'm sorry, Ma'am, I-” The scientific adviser stuttered an apology but really, she couldn’t be blamed. The med-tech had waited for the right moment to take it when they had been busy sending the distress signal. They had let their guard down and she had taken advantage.

“Sorry, Osgood, they should put pragmatic and calculating in this file, too. I’m sorry I took advantage of your warm welcome and trust but I… I have to do this,” Liv explained without turning to face them. She kept her focus firmly on Helen. “So, shall we see what it says?”

“Liv you know reading your own future is dangerous, you will be setting in stone whatever-” The Doctor tried to argue, he stepped towards her but she just gave a bitter laugh.

“What does it matter? I’ve already lost everything.” She fought tears as she sought to meet Helen’s eyes. “If I make things fixed, the whole thing will have been completely pointless.”

“Liv-” Tula tried to interject. While she was still new to the nature of time travel, cause and effect and the causality in the time lines, she too understood what her sister was trying to do.

“No, Tula, you know I’m right,” the med-tech shot back and turned her attention to the data pad. “Now, let's see here. It's obviously just my file, not yours but oh, you feature plenty, see here, spouse: Dr. Helen Chenka, linguist. Sweet of you to take my name, dad would have loved that,” tears started welling up in her eyes, she laughed for both joy and sorrow. Joy for realising the implications of everything she was reading, sorrow for the fact that this was what she had to do to make them come true. “Got a wedding date too, not the time of year I would have chosen but you know, can't be picky."

“Liv, stop!” Helen spoke weakly, shaking her head. Surely, this was a bluff, surely, she was making these things up to force her into giving in, this couldn’t really be their future, could it? Not if she remained strong.

“Why? What are you so afraid of? It’s just our life!” Liv shot back with a desperate laugh as she swiped her finger across the tablet, skipping ahead.

“Please, don’t keep going. You already know what this is about, please!” Helen couldn’t allow her to keep going. She couldn’t let her get to the end. “You want to get married? Fine. We can do it right now.” She argued with angry tears threatening her eyes. “We get married, do what you just made us have to do and then we go our separate ways!” She snapped. “You stay and I go. Or the other way around, I don’t care. If you want to keep travelling, fine. I don’t care but we can’t carry on together, we can’t, I can’t let you die!” She tried to pull the tablet from Liv but the med-tech quickly pulled it out of her reach.

“No chance!” She shot back. “I want to know the ending. I want to know how it happens, in detail, so I can get accustomed to it.” She started crying tears of frustration but those couldn’t dissuade her either. “So what is it gonna be? Do we suffocate in the depths of space? Get caught in an explosion? Shot by a lunatic?” With every swipe across the tablet, she posed another theory, growing more angry and desperate with every word. “Is the Eleven coming back to take his revenge? Or the Master? The Daleks? Or was it some noble self-sacrifice to prevent the end of the universe? Now, while I’m not keen to give the Master or the Eleven the satisfaction, saving the universe? That I wouldn’t mind dying for, that-”

“LIV STOP!” Helen exclaimed, panicked and Liv threw the tablet in front of her feet. It smashed.

“Why? What are you so scared of?!” She yelled in response. “So we die together, so what? That's better than one of us outliving the other, surely!” She laughed through desperate tears. “Stop trying to protect me, I don't want you to! How dare you make that decision for me?!” She jabbed her finger at her accusingly.

“How dare you force this on me?! You are taking away our free will, our future, our-” Helen sobbed, albeit relieved to find the threat of more revelations contained. Perhaps Liv would see sense in the end.

“Am I?” the med-tech laughed, taking a deep breath as she struggled for composure. “Because you know the funniest thing: It doesn't even say in there how we die! I read it earlier, just in case I wouldn’t get to now.” There was stunned silence all around and she laughed as she wiped her tears at the ridiculousness of the situation. “They don't know, Helen. Nobody knows!” She shrugged. After all that, there was no record of what happened to them in the end. She pulled herself together and focused her eyes on Helen who simply stood petrified, arms wrapped around herself and tense, staring at the smashed data pad on the floor. “You think you saw something, how can you trust that more than what I'm telling you? They even got my date of birth wrong.” Liv took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair.

“Well, we can only go by the information we-” Osgood spoke weakly and the med-tech looked around, gave her a kind smile.

“The information you've been given, yes. Likelihood is I filled in a visa wrong on purpose at some point. I mean, I look younger than I am but not that young,” she tried to make light of the situation but the gravity of her actions, her words, remained, so she returned her attention to Helen. “That's all any of us can do, work with the information we have and make the best possible decisions,” she took a step towards her but the linguist retreated, refusing to look at her. “If I had known that you were trying to protect me, I wouldn’t have come back here. It was a stupid, impulsive thing to do, that didn’t work out or pay off, just in case you’re wondering, and-” She tried to explain and Helen just shook her head.

“Liv, you don’t understand! I’m not talking about a report that could be faulty. I saw what would happen if we-” The linguist fought to get her words out. While she understood what Liv was trying to say, these were two different things. There was no human error in the vision she’d had. “I can’t let you die if there is a way around it! I have to try to save you!” She argued through tears.

“Why? What makes you think this is the better option?” Liv shrugged and shook her head. She didn’t understand. “I don't want to die alone. Who does? And so what if it's a bit sooner than we would like?” She gave a sad smile. Of course she wouldn’t choose an early death, but given the options it was hardly a choice at all. She reached out and before Helen could retreat any further, she grabbed hold of her hand. “I've already lived more with you, experienced more, than most people do in a lifetime. Death doesn't frighten me, we all have to die sometime,” she explained, trying her best to keep her voice level. “What scares me is having to navigate life without you,” she confessed and with her other hand, she cupped Helen’s cheek, made her look her in the eyes to make sure she heard her. “I would rather die tomorrow and be with you today than live to be a hundred without you,” she stated firmly, without doubt or hesitation and a warm, loving smile. “You must know that. After everything. You must know that.”

“Liv-” The linguist sobbed, she couldn’t think of anything to say. Her words shook her deeply, tore away all her defenses. What remained of her resolve, determination and strength was no match for the med-tech that had conquered her heart long ago.

“Now stop this nonsense,” Liv implored her softly. “Please.” She dropped her hand and grasped her face instead, brushing her tears away with her thumbs. “And we’ll just… get married. Take it one day at a time. And when it’s over, it’s over. You may think you know what the future holds but you don’t.” She shook her head for emphasis. “None of us do. Psychic or otherwise. There are two sides to every story. For all you know, the Doctor found a clever way to save us in the end.” She cast a quick sideways glance at their friend who was looking on, visibly moved.

“Well, I will certainly try,” he answered, clearing his throat.

“So just… take a leap of faith? Forgive me for this spectacle and I’ll forgive you for breaking my heart?” Liv offered softly, returning her attention to the linguist.

“You know that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” Helen whispered through tears.

“And it was completely unnecessary,” the med-tech gave her a sorrowful, compassionate smile.

“I’m so sorry,” the linguist lowered her gaze, ashamed but slowly reached out to brush a strand of Liv’s hair out of her face. “Do you really want this? Even if it means that we-” She broke off, she couldn’t say it, even now.

“Could I possibly make that any clearer to you?” Liv gave her a warm smile, without a trace of doubt or insecurity.

“Liv?” It was Tula that interrupted gently and the med-tech looked around, confused for a moment, but only until she saw the engagement ring she was holding out to her. She had kept it safe until the right time and was more than glad to hand it back. She, too, was in tears. She wanted nothing more than for her sister to be happy. If that meant losing her too soon, that was a price she would have to pay and would if it ensured her happiness until then. She did, however, choose to take her sister’s advice on the matter. No-one knew what the future held. Except, perhaps, in this case a wedding.

“Do over?” Liv grasped the ring with a grateful smile to Tula and looked back to Helen. “Please say you’ll marry me, Helen.”

“It seems I have no choice,” the linguist smiled despite her tears.

“You don’t,” the med-tech confirmed and reached for her hand. “I’ll just keep asking until you say yes,” she insisted. “Regardless of the consequences.

”In that case I will just have to marry you, won’t I,” Helen drew a deep breath and took the plunge. She leaned forward and kissed her. Cheers broke out around the room but they hardly registered for the two of them. Liv wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her close while Helen poured everything she had into the kiss. All her doubts, fears and grief were swept away in a wave of relief, joy and love. Unrivalled, unchallenged, unconditional love. She kissed away the tears she had caused, making amends and silent promises that she would make every single day they had together worth the heartbreak. “You are a stubborn mule, Liv Chenka,” she mumbled into the crown of her hair as she rested there and the med-tech smiled.

“Yes, which is why you’ll find I’m difficult to kill. I just don’t give up,” she declared and pulled away. She took her hand and pushed the engagement ring onto her finger with confidence and ease. There was nothing else to say. They had made their peace with the past and the future. Now all that was left to do was live in the present.

“Well, I for one am glad history is getting back on track,” the Doctor announced.

“Yes, and I’m glad our records weren’t entirely off base,” Kate stated with some amusement, relieved that the only thing that had come to harm was a tablet.

“Would you like me to put my actual date of birth down for you?” Liv offered with a smirk with a new found carelessness as she turned around to face them. She kept Helen’s hand firmly in hers.

“Yes, that would-” Osgood started but a look from the UNIT chief made her reconsider. “It probably doesn’t matter all that much, actually…”

“You’re not going to put ‘shouting match in our living room’ into the file will you?” Liv asked somewhat self-conscious and the UNIT agents laughed.

“I think we might be able to redact that in this case,” Kate chuckled and turned her attention to the Doctor. “Now then, the reason why we contacted you, Doctor. I’m afraid Med-tech Chenka’s presence in 2021 is a dangerous anachronism and I would appreciate it if you would take her off our hands.”

“Nothing would please me more,” the Doctor grinned. “She is a menace, that one.”

"Yes, can’t take her anywhere,” Tula agreed, eyeing the smashed data pad on the floor. She then cast a look at her soon-to-be sister-in-law and added: “She’s your responsibility now, Helen.”

“I’m very sorry everyone for-” Helen stated regretfully. She had caused a lot of problems for a lot of people, no-one more so than the woman she loved, and she would be carrying the guilt for a while yet. An apology was the least she could do.

“I think everyone here understands the desire to protect the ones we love,” Kate spoke up. “Sometimes you have to let them make their own decisions and mistakes.”

“Mistake implies regret,” Liv interjected with a smile. “I won’t regret a thing,” she assured Helen with a squeeze of her hand. “Except maybe dragging these lovely people into it.” She glanced at the UNIT agents sheepishly. “Can we be off now? I… I want to go home.”

“Well, you’re obviously more than welcome to stay, both of you-” Tula started but her sister interrupted her.

“Not Kaldor. I mean, yes, that also, we have a wedding to have and the date isn’t far into your future at all, so we should start planning. But that’s not what I meant when I said home.”

“The TARDIS then?” The Doctor suggested hopefully.

“The TARDIS,” Liv confirmed with a grin. “If you will have me back, that is…”

“It’ll be your home for as long as you want it,” the Doctor confirmed with a warm smile and went to hold open the door for them.

“Until we die a horrible death,” the med-tech grinned as she waved goodbye to the UNIT agents who mirrored the gesture, amused and somewhat relieved to see them go.

”Liv, can you stop it!” Helen gave her arm a slap as they made their way into the TARDIS.

“I’m just trying to make light of it,” Liv retorted and the linguist huffed:

“Well, you’re not succeeding!”

“I’m sorry.” The med-tech’s expression softened and she raised her hand to her lips to place a soft kiss on top of the engagement ring. Behind them, the Doctor closed the TARDIS door and headed towards the console, Tula in tow.

“No, I’m sorry,” Helen replied. “I really truly am. I should never have tried to make this decision for you. I was wrong and I’m sorry.”

“I love you,” Liv replied simply and Helen smiled:

“I love you, too.”

“Liv?” Helen all but forced her heavy limbs to move, with one sheer determination to get closer to her best friend. It felt like moving through the water but she managed it. She didn’t even try to get up, fearing she might fall right back. Helen clumsily landed beside Liv and checked for a pulse. Thank goodness, it was there. That was a major relief. She shook her slightly, trying to wake her friend up and called again, “Liv? Can you hear me?”

The groan escaped Liv’s lips, and Helen released the breath she never realised she was holding.

“Ugh… What... Happened?” Liv muttered, cracking her eyes open. “My head hurts like hell.”

“What? Ah… mine as well. Can you… can you move?” Helen pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to get rid of the ringing in her ears. She just barely could make out Liv’s voice and she didn’t like it. She wasn’t particularly good at reading lips but she tried nonetheless.

“Not exactly,” Liv winced. “Did we crash? Again? Have we landed? And for the love of god, what is that infernal beeping noise?”

“What bee– Ah!” Only now she caught up on the tiniest shrieking sound coming from the same source as that maddening red light. “I think it’s coming from the console. Doctor? Can you turn it off?”

Helen sensed more than saw his figure storm past her and it only added to the nauseating feeling in her stomach. The Doctor ran straight towards the console, flipping levers and pushing buttons in the most chaotic manner of his. Helen wasn’t convinced he knew exactly what he wanted to achieve. Exchanging a wary look with Liv confirmed that the med-tech wasn't reassured either.

“He’ll just make it worse, won’t he?” Helen asked in a small tired voice.

“Oh most definitely,” Liv sighed exasperatedly and hurried to cover her ears when a second alarm started blaring out. “Doctor! What the hell do you think you are doing?”

“Just stop it please, will you?” Helen pleaded, stroking the column right next to her, and as suddenly as it all broke loose, it stopped. The silence fell over the console room – no thanks to the Doctor, Helen suspected.

“What was that? Where are we, Doctor?” Liv demanded again. Her head was definitely splitting in two now, even if it hadn’t before.

“I… am not sure,” he continued to tap on the keyboard with manic desperation. “I don’t understand!”

“What do you mean you're not sure?” Liv lifted an eyebrow, unimpressed. “I know you can't fly the TARDIS properly but at least you have always managed to read whatever intel she's giving you.”

“That's just the thing, Liv,” he said, seemingly choosing to ignore her sarcasm. “There is no intel. No readouts, no surface checks, no data at all. It's like we're… nowhere. No, it's like she specifically refuses to tell us anything at all.”

“Is that even possible?” Helen joined in, looking at him incredulously.

“Well, that hasn't happened so far,” Doctor hummed.

“There's always a first time for everything,” stated Liv and rolled her eyes.

“Thanks Liv, very helpful,” he chuckled. “Ugh, it doesn't help that she won't open the doors either.”

“Maybe it is for the better,” Helen muttered under her nose. She leaned on the column, her head spinning violently. “Wouldn't want us to fall straight into the vortex or something. That was not an experience I'm ready to repeat, if you ask me.”

“Neither am I,” Liv scooted closer as well.

“Good that we all agree on it. Well, I'm certain I can figure something out. Persuade her to let us see what's actually wrong. At least we are staying in one place and not drifting mindlessly into the unknown,” the Doctor sounded way too cheerful.

“Is it supposed to be comforting?” Liv snorted. “Because it really really isn't. Not that I'm not used to being stranded but I'd rather we didn't make a habit of that.”

“I'm with Liv here,” Helen nodded. The fog around her ears was finally lifting and she was glad to hear at least herself. “Doctor, tell me one thing. What happened? Did we crash?”

“No, we… We were just…” he stalled. “Come to think of it… I can’t quite remember.”

“Oh no, not again!” Liv cried out and clutched her head with her hands.

“We were…” Helen tried to reach for the last thing she remembered. “Trying to escape the Crucible of Souls, right? That was about to explode?”

“Uhm… Possibly. Yes! Looks very much like it,” Doctor nodded and only then seemed to notice Liv and Helen lying sprawled on the floor, clinging to one another. “I think wherever we are, we will be here for a while, so you’d better get some rest for now, won’t you?”

“Seriously? And leave you all alone dealing with whatever’s out there? No way,” Liv grumbled determinedly and tried to stand up but only fell back on her arse.

“Well, as you can see, I’m not going out there, alone or otherwise. Go. Sort yourselves out, I’ll see what I can find out here,” the Doctor added, shooing them away.

“The Doctor’s right. Come on, Liv. We should go do something about the monster headache, I think I’m going to be sick if I watch the Doctor running around like crazy any longer.”

Liv only nodded. Helen helped Liv get to her feet and steadied the med-tech with an arm around her shoulders. Her own head was spinning too and she felt her heart pounding in her ears – whether it was from the sudden movement or her friend leaning on her for support she couldn’t tell – but Liv looked much worse for wear, so she made it her mission to get her to the med-bay or to Liv’s room. Whichever was closest.

“Yeah, bye Doctor. Try not to explode anything while we’re inside!” Liv couldn’t help the snarky remark.

“Can’t promise anything,” the Doctor shot right back with a smile.

“Of course he says that,” Liv muttered somewhere in Helen's shoulder, sneaking an arm around the linguist's waist to keep upright when another wave of nausea crashed over her. Her touch sent shivers down Helen’s spine, not entirely unpleasant ones, and Helen couldn’t suppress a small smile, holding Liv just a tad closer.

“Come on,” Helen murmured, rubbing soothing circles on Liv’s upper arm. “Let’s grab some painkillers and get you to bed.”

***

Tania awoke with a start in her apartment at 107 Baker Street. She didn’t mean to fall asleep while watching TV but that’s what happens when you break your sleeping habits thanks to constant anxieties and nightmares.

It all felt so sudden and alien. Pandemic. Masks. Doctors working day and night fighting for lives. Her own job sending her a request to stay where she is and report them weekly as if nothing happened. They claim the global disaster might just be the thing to gain attention of her target and possibly – make them look for a shelter or even headquarters in their old property.

There was a nagging feeling she had forgotten something important but she couldn’t quite grasp it. Ah, right, she did put a mental note to check on Ron and Tony later this afternoon. Ron wasn’t feeling all too well. She should reach out to her contacts and get him to the proper hospital. It wouldn’t do to lose either of Baker Street regulars. As the longest resident she felt a kind of responsibility for all of them, especially in the absence of a landlord.

***

“Did you manage to pinpoint what went wrong?” Liv asked, between the spoonfuls of her breakfast. Not trusting herself with the stove, she opted for crunchy cereal.

“I’m not entirely sure. She didn’t give me many pointers to go on with,” the Doctor shrugged, spilling his tea and accidentally smearing it across the table with his sleeve. “The only thing I actually did find out was that she went into lockdown mode for the foreseeable future. I didn’t even know she could do that!”

“You don’t seem to know her at all,” Liv muttered sarcastically. “Anyway – lockdown, really? What is that for? Is it that bad outside?”

“Global pandemic. That was actually the only thing I was able to get from her.”

“That does sound serious,” her expression fell. “Anything we can help with?”

“Not this time, I'm afraid,” the Doctor shook his head. “We're sealed in. Most likely, we weren't even supposed to be there and now. Wherever that might be.”

“Right. Peachy,” she shot. “At least it’s fine that we are inside then, so we are not exposed to the unknown plague god knows when and where.”

“What plague?” Helen stepped into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.

Morning wasn’t her time at all, even if it was rather hard to grasp the concept of time in the time machine. Especially she disliked mornings when she couldn’t sleep – because apparently the TARDIS seemed to be working on the low energy output and was dumping every room and corridor she couldn’t sustain. Which happened to include Helen’s own room, as it was nowhere to be found. Helen would like nothing more than to curl up in her bed and sleep the killer headache off. She did have half a mind to go back to Liv’s last night but she had a nagging feeling that option wasn’t even on the table. Her head was still cloudy and she had no clue what had actually happened but she had a gut feeling there was so much more to their headaches than banging their heads upon crashing. There was something missing. Something must have happened after their escape from Ravenous and a number of psychopathic Time Lords claiming to be the Doctor’s childhood friends. Something that didn’t add up. Thinking about it further only made her vision go fuzzy.

Helen didn’t like what she saw. They went as quickly as they came, leaving only the slightest sensations behind. The house in London she'd never been to. The blaring sirens of the Second World War she remembered far too well. The tall woman, who wasn't her, holding Liv in her arms. The teenage boy, Helen was… teaching? tutoring? god knows, she wasn't good at either, she never actually tried. Nor had she ever worked with kids. The tall woman in flannel again, sheltering with Helen in a grey abandoned building on the edge of equally grey and way too quiet lake district. The funny looking guy in Hawaiian shirt marching through the dead planet. Voices and whispers, keys and broken TVs, paperworks and constant feeling of worry. Constant feeling of not belonging, of being a third wheel, of being left out, abandoned, forgotten. Of forgetting something that mattered so very much, of losing a bit of herself with it. It all continued to plague her mind way into the morning, and she woke up tired and very cold, bundled with anxiety and frustration that she never knew where came from.

Painkillers they shared with Liv did take longer than expected to work, and she wasn’t very happy about it either. So Helen did the only thing she could think of that allowed her to rest without alarming the others – she went looking for the library, hoping the TARDIS at least kept her favourite couch intact. It wasn't as good as her lovely purple one on the balcony above the console room, but she wasn't in the mood for listening to the Doctor audibly tearing the precious time machine apart.

Dozing off on the armchair in the Little Library with a heavy tome on Gallifreyan grammatics in her lap wasn’t a desirable outcome but it was still better than nothing. It would even be fine, hadn't it been for the… visions. Technically, they probably weren’t nightmares or dreams. They seemed to be more like the pictures and moments flashing behind her eyelids. Vivid but hazy they threatened to split her head apart. There were… quite a lot of those. People she almost recognised but didn’t think she’d met. Places she’d never been to. Adventures she couldn’t remember having. Helen thought it could be the TARDIS’ projections in her mind – it was their way of communication during her forty-odd years of travels after all – but somehow they still felt rather closer to memories. Or maybe premonitions, not that she could tell.

“What were you discussing?” Helen asked again when she was met with stunned silence. She brought her hands around her in a fruitless attempt to warm herself up. It wasn't cold around her as such, but she kept shivering.

Liv and the Doctor exchanged worried glances, while watching Helen, dishevelled and tense, walk in the kitchen. She didn't mind that, busying herself with making a decent cup of tea – at least to warm her hands – but the general feeling of uneasiness didn't escape her. That only added to her never ending headache.

“Morning, Helen. Are you alright?” Liv finally found her voice and her words were laced with concern that made Helen's heart twitch.

“Slept well?” asked the Doctor in an overly cheerful and way too loud voice. They all winced.

“Only that we have nothing to worry about. The TARDIS got us into the lockdown mode to protect us from every possible threat that is out there,” the Doctor rambled away. “It is a worldwide pandemic outside, personally I wouldn't recommend this time period to anyone. The bad thing is–”

“Uh,” Helen wavered for a moment, not entirely sure if she should bother them with her problems when they had much bigger ones. She was just unable to relax, it was psychosomatic, nothing more. Her mind played tricks with her. It happened all the time, ever since Caleera’s Gift manifesting inside her. Maybe the TARDIS just wasn't feeling particularly well, the energy leaking, and Helen was in the way. She knew she was rather sensitive to the telepathic forces.

In the end she decided to just shrug it off for now. “I'm okay, yes, thank you,” she only hoped she sounded convincing enough for them to drop it. “What was it you were saying about the plague again?”

“Oh so there actually is a bad thing. Nice of you to tell us,” Helen chuckled.

“Just a little one. As I've told you on the Crucible, wherever we appear next, we'd be stuck. Old Girl took a lot of damage, hurtling like that through time and space, getting us as far as possible from the epicentre of the explosion. So, she'll need time to recharge. Recalibrate. Repair herself, if you wish. With my help it will be easier, of course, and hopefully will take faster–”

“Oh, I highly doubt that,” Liv muttered and the Doctor feigned being insulted:

“Liv? What is it, don't you trust me?” He almost knocked his cup over with his flailing but caught it at the last possible moment. “When was the last time I let you down? Actually, no, don't answer that...”

Liv only chuckled, looking quite amused, and asked, “just… Don't make it worse, okay? You are one of the smartest people I know and I still wouldn't trust you with TARDIS repairs with us inside if I tried.”

“Double that,” Helen laughed and earned Liv's broad smile. That did make her morning a little brighter. She certainly stopped shivering.

“Ladies, you offend me!” The Doctor brought his arms up in mock defence.

“Oh please just make sure you don't accidentally explode something or delete a room with us in it, will you?” Helen pleaded. “Don't want to be hurtled into the time vortex without a warning. Again. Been there, done that, not as enlightening as someone might want to picture it.”

“More to the point, do you know how long it will take for her to, eh, repair herself?” Liv was always the pragmatic one.

“No idea!” Said the Doctor brightly. Helen and Liv weren't sure they shared his enthusiasm for that matter. “A couple of weeks maybe. Maybe a month? Several months top! The TARDIS indicated we aren’t allowed to either move or interfere for at least that long, so in the end it’s not really my call.”

“You are serious?!” Liv looked at him as if he'd grown a second head. Did he save that piece of information for the better times or what?

“Oh I think he is…” Helen herself wasn't all that happy about their prospects. She only hoped the TARDIS would allow her to find a room to sleep soon or it wouldn't be funny at all.

“You said you wanted a holiday? Somewhere safe?” The Doctor looked at both of them. “Well, I'm sorry I couldn't take you two to a nice holiday destination but at least you have time to relax now. Wasn't that what you wanted? Liv? Helen?”

“Well, I guess you might be right. We could go with a breather,” Helen smiled tiredly but exchanged a worried look with Liv. After a moment of silent communication Liv nodded and turned to their friend.

“Okay, Doctor, but will you be fine? You don’t usually cope with being stranded in one place, do you?” Liv voiced their shared concern.

“Well, not that it is indefinite, is it? The TARDIS does indicate it being temporary. At least this time there’s a finishing post!” He sounded over-optimistic and the girls shrugged. They knew them all too well to know he won’t last a fortnight. For now, however, they would let it slide. They’d deal with problems as they come.

“Right,” chimed Helen. “Even with the TARDIS feeling poorly, we can still do some exploring, now that we have time. Liv, what would you say?”

“Fine, sure. Are you alright though?” This time Liv looked at her with great concern and it made Helen's heart swell. “You look… I mean, have you slept at all? Did you have any more headaches? I am a med-tech, you can tell me, you know. I can help.”

“It's fine, Liv, please don't worry. I'll tell you if it isn't,” Helen smiled warmly and it seemed to be all the persuasion Liv needed.

“I think I spotted an observatory on my way here, thought you might like to see.”

Liv grabbed her hand firmly and dragged her away from the Doctor and the worries and the thoughts of their destiny. At least they didn’t have that issue hanging over them. The TARDIS did seem to shrink considerably, apparently in order to sustain more vital aspects of their new locked-down life. At the very least they weren't doomed to hurtle into some black hole or solid planet or the murdered timeline at a neck-breaking speed. She could let these worries go for now. The only thing Helen did gladly focus on was Liv's hand in hers, and their entwined fingers, and that alone made her feel so much warmer.

***

Robin clutched a key to the attic in his hand and couldn’t quite fathom how he came into possession of it and what it could mean. Was the appartement his? Could he do with it as he pleases and not depend on his father’s frantic relocating schedule? He couldn’t remember and his head hurt like hell but he had a warm feeling in his gut telling him it was exactly the case. That was a thought and a half, and he laughed. Between the pandemic leaving more time for his father to be at home and finally properly do something together with Robin and the key to the future stability lying solid in his pocket he felt almost giddy.

His phone buzzed and he took it out of his pocket. His new Divine Intervention project helping people out, providing mental support and care was getting more and more feedback and followers, more people needing help and those willing to help out. He couldn’t be prouder. Future is online indeed. He ran up the ladder to share good news with Akhtar sisters.

***

“Look! Here it is!” Liv pushed open the big double doors, with exquisite wooden carvings. Behind them they did find a round observatory, old and new at once. It looked as if it were the extension of the console room, a Victorian style and large brass telescope standing on a carpet right in the middle of it all. What really caught the eye was the sky, no, the pitch black cosmos unravelling in front of them, thanks to the transparent glass walls. It looked as if they stepped on a space station located in the furthest reaches of the cosmos. Helen looked in awe at the deepest hues of black and blue and violet outside, at the stars swirling in the distance, brighter than she’d ever seen before.

“Wow. It’s beautiful! Liv, do you think this is what’s outside? Same as when we open the TARDIS doors while in flight?” Helen’s voice was full of wonder.

“Not sure,” Liv mused. “No, don’t think so. The Doctor said we’ve landed, so that must be a TARDIS projection,” she shrugged apologetically. As if she herself had something to apologise for! What a notion.

“Right. Still, that is… quite remarkable, you know!” Helen smiled.

“It really is,” Liv hummed approvingly, though sparing the night sky no mind.

Helen finally tore her gaze off the view and turned to ask something but all the questions got stuck in her throat when she caught Liv staring right at her with a bright smile and awe in her eyes. Helen’s heart picked up pace and ears burned. Just about catching her brain from rebooting, she forced herself to release the breath she didn't realise she was holding. Stop. Liv probably didn’t stare. No, she was just answering the question, it was only natural to look at whomever you were talking to. Liv was acting normally, it was Helen’s sleep deprived brain, plagued by all sorts of thoughts and visions, that was to blame. Helen shook her head and asked tentatively, shutting her inner spiralling off.

“Would it be the Andromeda Nebula?”

She pointed to the left, where the distant but still infinitely huge mass of stars, black hole potentials, gas masses and rocks were forming the most amazing and bright spiral of light and colour Helen had ever seen this close.

“Galaxy. Andromeda Galaxy. Might be, it looks the right shape. Stil… Won’t know, I’m not that familiar with these parts of the sky, to be honest,” Liv shrugged and then asked out of the sudden: “Do you want to see the stars even closer? I think this old thing might help.”

She pointed straight at the giant ancient-looking contraption that may or may not have been the biggest telescope Helen had ever seen. She looked up at Liv, excitement mixed up with insecurity.

“Could we? I mean, do you know how to work this thing?”

“No idea,“ Liv grinned and started turning the numerous knobs, massive and tiny, to determine which one of them did what. Helen gingerly copied her movements to the T. “We'll figure it out, though, we're not clever for nothing!”

“Certainly!” Helen smiled, discovering that the biggest knob (that she absolutely had to turn with both hands and some amount of force) changed the altitude of the whole contraption. She adjusted it, and then found a little ladder to step up on so as not to strain her neck even further. Helen still felt a dull pain from the uncomfortable position she ended up sleeping in the night before, she wouldn’t want to add more to that.

“I think you have to look right in here. Try it,” she offered Liv, bringing the ladder closer still. She was quite certain that with such a view wherever they managed to point the telescope they would find something worth looking at.

“You go first,” Liv waved her off with a small smile.

“Are you quite sure?”

“Absolutely. Go ahead,” Liv smiled and Helen nodded gingerly and took a look. A quiet gasp escaped her lips and Liv couldn’t help but ask, “so? Do you see anything?”

“Oh Liv, it’s so so beautiful. All these colours! Just look at this comet's tail! You just have to see it, Liv, come here,” she reached out and Liv took her offered hand, climbing onto the ladder Helen just stepped down off. Leaning in to look in the eyepiece, Liv wavered just for a second and Helen at once put her hands on Liv’s waist to steady her. She heard a thankful hum and tried not to focus on Liv's soft curves under her palms.

“Yeah, you’re right. Quite something,” Liv nodded, turning around in Helen's arms. She just smiled and made no point to move or discard Helen's touch, and Helen's mind went blank. She knew she had to step aside to allow her friend to climb down but she was too mesmerised with the way the light of the distant stars was Illuminating Liv's features. She felt suddenly very hot under the collar and wondered briefly if Liv could feel it too, standing as close as they were.

“Earth to Helen?” Liv's smile definitely grew only wider. “Am I that good or have you slept that little today? What has gotten into you? Not that I'm complaining, god no.”

“I… uh…” Helen contemplated telling the truth at some point but her mind was still blissfully empty. Looking up to Liv made her mouth dry.

Yet the images of Liv being with someone else still plagued her mind, and left her in very confused feelings. Liv was right there, caring, smiling, almost flirting with her – was she flirting? or was Helen reading far too much into it? – being all stunning and adorable at the same time, and it was so hard to resist. Helen knew she fell for her friend a long time ago. After everything they've been through she was finally able to admit it at least to herself.

Helen just wasn't sure Liv could… like her back, as she were, she supposed. She grew up thinking there was something wrong with her, that she wouldn't ever fit in if she kept laying eyes on smart girls. So she learned to hide it and never act on it. Now, travelling to the furthest reaches of the galaxy, being to times and places, seeing so many different cultures, none of which excluded her as an aberration she thought she was, it was… strange. Liberating too, but old habits did die hard. Until the previous night, filled with those strange visions, she assumed Liv wouldn't be interested.

While she didn't want to ruin their wonderful friendship, it made her think. She couldn't remember anything about the taller woman in her dreams. The little voice in her head told her that it couldn't be a mere nightmare. Maybe the vision showed what might have been, what would have been, what could have been if only Helen never told her. If Helen never allowed herself to show what she felt. Well, maybe it was high time she stopped burying it all deep inside.

“Helen, what's wrong?” Liv scrunched her nose in confusion, and Helen was quick to deflect and change the subject, going back to Liv’s last question:

“Well… It is... It's probably nothing.”

“It usually isn't. What is the matter? You can tell me, you know,” Liv insisted.

“I know, of course I do. I can't be sure I am right, that I am not overreacting…”

“Helen,” Liv stopped her ramblings with a soft touch to her arm. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do! Right… I am just tired. I think the TARDIS must have relocated my room. I couldn’t find it anywhere,” Helen mumbled and cast her eyes down. “I know she's running low on energy, but how come she can sustain this amazing place we've never ever been to before but ditch the living room of one of her crew…”

“Why didn't you come straight back to me?” Liv asked softly.

“Didn't want to wake you up, I suppose. You needed that sleep, you seemed to have it worse,” she told her after contemplating the question for a moment. “Besides, to be honest, I never thought I could just…”

Liv squeezed her hand again, drawing her attention back, just when she started reeling again.

“Helen. You can always come to me, okay? Whatever, whenever, it doesn't matter. We're a team, right? We'd find a way, together,” she paused for a second, making sure Helen was listening, looking her straight in the eye. “That's what friends are for.”

“I… Yes. Yes, thank you, Liv. I'm sorry,” Helen averted her eyes, rubbing her hurting neck, and Liv managed to clock on that too.

“Whatever are you sorry for? Don't be. Now tell me, did you sleep at all today?”

“A bit,” Helen answered evasively and Liv snorted. Liv felt there was something on Helen’s mind she wasn’t yet ready to tell her, and she accepted that. She nodded, seemingly having decided on something:

“Okay. Come on then!”

“Where to?” Helen asked, mildly confused with such a change of demeanour.

“To find if the cinema room is still there,” Liv told her plainly. “What we need now, is to take our minds off things. Watch some cheesy movie, maybe a musical or whatever you prefer. Relax a little.”

“I thought you didn't do ‘relaxed’?” Helen reflected cheekily, trying to conceal how taken she was by that suggestion. Her ears and cheeks turned pink.

“I do for you,” Liv shrugged, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Helen didn't have time to process it, because the next moment Liv took her hand and led the way.

***

Andy was nervously pacing the floor. Something didn’t add up. He was this close to skyping Tania and asking if she felt the same glitch in his head, In his memories? There was his backpack with neatly packed 4 Hawaiian shirts and 2 matching swim shorts lying in the way that was the best evidence he’d got. He couldn’t recall going anywhere, he didn’t remember packing it in the first place, either. Something must be very wrong. He pushed the button to start his ancient laptop but instead of the start-up screen it made a loud humming noise and died down.

With a disapproving cry he started to dial his boss. He would need a replacement if he wanted to continue his extremely vital extraterrestrial investigations in this rapidly changing pandemic world.

***

Liv brushed her fingers through Helen’s hair and felt utterly content. The credits to whatever movie they’d just watched were rolling in front of them on the screen but Liv couldn’t be bothered to turn the projector off.

During the movie they inevitably drifted closer to each other, first Helen’s head landing on Liv’s shoulder and in turn her hand coming at Helen’s waist, bringing the linguist closer. The TARDIS – sly old spaceship – provided them with a blanket big enough for them to curl up under, and so they did. They didn’t talk much but then they didn’t have to, not yet. If that's what quiet stranded life would be like for a foreseeable future, as the Doctor had put it, Liv even agreed not to complain too much about it. The quiet longing she felt for a very-very long time made way for happiness. Helen was there, with her, and they weren’t running in the opposite directions. They had time. Finally, there was enough of it. Time to figure things out, to talk, time for quiet little moments they so rarely got. It was high time she finally admitted to Helen how she felt, and Liv could only hope it wouldn’t ruin that lovely strong bond and quiet understanding they shared. But then, if Helen’s reactions today were anything to go by, it shouldn’t. Liv couldn’t keep a shit eating grin off her face.