#fivekage

eeehhh if you want to know,check the FT tag,the spoilers are devasting :/

awe, thank you! and here you go!

It’s because of their past that he can’t find it in himself to do it, he knows. Because he’s hurt her too much with his selfish needs—whether he wanted to or not—and he’s made her wait for him for so long, drowning her in a world of nostalgia, pain, and utter, complete helplessness; lost and heartbroken by the loss of the only one she’d ever loved, who left that wide, gaping void in her chest in his absence. Gods, he had hurt her so much. 

Which is why he just couldn’t do it. Why he couldn’t give in to his frenzied needs and desires—the ones that kept him awake at night, unable to be chased away unless he shook out the tensions in his lower abdomen, panting and groaning until he lay half satiated amidst the hot, sweaty sheets of his bed—and why he always waited for her to make the first move, to guide his hand where she wanted it, to whisper the things she wanted him to do, to moan and move approvingly when she wanted him to go on—all so he wouldn’t dare cross over the line that demarked her limit.

All he wanted to do was follow her pace, taking careful care never to allow himself to be influenced by his own desires and fantasies because he intended her to be the only one to guide the buildup of their relationship. That way, she would never have to feel pressured into doing anything. She would not have to stress about when the next step would come. She would not let herself be influenced by what he wanted, to resort to doing something she herself wouldn’t want.