i'm no stranger to being obsessed with shows, movies, books and characters, i've been through my fair share of season finales, but heartstopper feels like the most monumental one of them all.

heartstopper was one of the first major fandoms i'd ever been part of. i remember vividly, my friend borrowing the books from her local library and letting me read them, and it's safe to say i became obsessed. only the first two books were out at the time, and i reread them over and over until she told be i could read it on tapas. from then on, Heartstopper and I were unseperable.

I attach the comic to such bold moments of happiness, reading the mini-comics (i was dead set on playing detroit: becoming human after reading), the q&a, sending asks to Alice fangirling over the comics and her novels (and getting a response!!!), waiting for an update (and reading it during my after school classes). my tween self became so joyous from reading heartstopper and sharing its own warmth.

i've never had as much merch as I have for heartstopper (see: my shrine, 3 editions of volume 1, jumper, candle, all of Alice's books and extras, picture frames like the one nick gave to charlie, drawings, bookmarks, prints), never committed so hard to being a part of the lovely community (downloading tumblr for more content, the birthday projects, readalongs, watch parties for the show). heartstopper taught me what it meant to give my whole heart to something that just makes me happy, even if the characters aren't real and the stories will end eventually.

more than this, i made friends!!! from reading and sharing our love for the comic, i bi-panicked alongside Nick, watched the characters favourite movies and broadened my ever-growing love for Queer YA from heartstopper. and the thing is, it isn't just me changing myself based on what characters say and moulding my identity around that. it's the values and motivations and courage i have gained from finding my identity, finding other queer books that have helped me do so many things in my life and meet so many people.

it's crazy to think that the comic i picked up in year 6 would have made such a big difference, over 7 years later, but i could not be more grateful for this beautiful comic and what it has become for not just me, but the world.