#fishfishfish

chat do i finish this (yes these are my ocs)

I have not drawn in many days but @witchkittymeow inspired me to draw her on the shared magma, I love her mermaid!Rosé design so much!!!

FISH DA GOAT WASSSSUUPPP!!!

This is a Surgeonfish, very cool fish.

Silver glitter pen is a very good friend~ To whoever is reading this, I’m having a ramble/rant moment so don’t pay attention, I am just keeping a log.

I have not been drawing and being online makes me feel like a passive consumer again which doesn’t help;;; are you tired of hearing me I’ll log out soon haha

There’s this point in the day where I feel like i can do something but my energy levels don’t agree and... ah, I can’t say it’s that I’m having this vicious cycle of “I can’t draw because I’m tired - I am tired because I can’t draw” but boy if I said I don’t realise everything’s catching up every single day and I just wait for this panic-moment to be gone, I’d lie. I’m OK but I am tired and it makes me vulnerable to my emotions. I keep busy/ distracted most of the time and I don’t feel sad, but as soon as it’s getting dark I get anxious and then feel sad. There are things I should do to feel better but I’m denying everything atm.. maybe because I am not taking a break. I really want to finish my libraries though.. I’ve done so much work --is this hibernation preparation???? QwQ it is?? kinda???? NO IT DEFINITELY IS I SHOULD STOP DENYING IT AHHAH, maybe it’s just for the lack of better word but right now it does feel this way. I don’t have the brain energy to question that.

Someone told me recently it looks like I have my life together (from how I am organising things) and I laughed so hard I spat whatever I was eating. I am the least diligent person I know //I’ve learned how to build a storefront so well just to fool myself YET -I am ahead of the game at last and I can confidently say I have so much work to do after this. Like.. I need to slow down and focus. Even a little will be fine, as long as I can stick to it..

Can you see me fluctuating because I lose count of how quickly my mood shifts these days. I miss walks, going to cafes, hugging my friends.. having a space to just go and sit and be a stranger. I miss that kind of life.. 

Anyway, left- Alcest slipped into my shorting-mood and at the moment it happened I knew I was having many pent-up emotions so I vomited it all on paper the day after. I didn’t bother to reach for my sketchbook, I grabbed the notes paper I had written my task list and drew on the back of it. After a couple of hours of trying to short out my feelings I drew the second one on my small notebook and then proceeded to -finally- short out a few files.. I just couldn't bring myself to do it during the day///// yes yes I am definitely tired.