I cannot for the life of me think of a better way to explain this, so Diagram Time.
*âthisâ being sexual desire

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I cannot for the life of me think of a better way to explain this, so Diagram Time.
*âthisâ being sexual desire

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The Sign of the Fish - 15x04 Atomic Monsters
Gah, Iâve been thinking about that little graffiti fish on the stone bench Dean is sitting on.Â
It looks a bit mecha, like one of those fish-machines in The Matrix, which fits with the âAtomic Monstersâ theme of the episode title.
But, of course, it also made me think of the rich symbolic grammar of fish in SPN, and therefore of Castiel.
Iâll have to dig out some of my fish meta.
Here we go.Â
Iâm re-mixing/ quoting from this meta here:
https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/157376279084/holy-and-unholy-families-in-12x12-stuck-in-the
Fish sometimes stand for humans and sometimes for angels in Supernaturalâs metaphorical repertoire, but always for angel/ human convergence.
âDonât step on that fish, Castiel. Big plans for that fishâ (The Man Who Would Be King, 6x20).
âI love that fishâ (Dean about Finding Dory/ Castiel) in Regarding Dean, 12x11.
In 10x01 Black, we meet the angel Daniel, who has âgone fishingâ, both literally, and figuratively, in terms of his desire to remain on earth rather than return to Heaven following Metatronâs big âangel fallâ spell. Castiel and Daniel have that lovely metaphor-laden discussion about fishing:
Castiel - âDaniel, what are you fishing for?â
Daniel - âTrout, mostlyâŠâ
Castiel - âDo they put up much of a fight?â
Daniel - âThe ones who truly want to be freeâŠâÂ
And 12x12 Stuck in the Middle With You, is the episode in which Ramiel Prince of Hell (who has also âgone fishingâ - as in gone AWOL from Heaven and Hell) stabs Cas with his fishing spear; a metaphor for Cas being pierced with love. This, remember, is the episode in which Cas tells the Winchesters: âI love you, I love all of you...âÂ
So, in 15x04, an episode in which the glaring negative space of Castiel (after the Dean/ Cas break-up of 15x03 The Rupture)Â is highlighted by Beckyâs metanarrative commentary, this little graffiti fish is another, symbolic reminder of Cas.Â
Castiel, who has struggled so hard to be free of Heavenâs control, a struggle which has often been symbolised by fish.Â
Castiel: âExplaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fishâ (6x20 The Man Who Would Be King).
Despite this struggle with his bretheren, Castiel himself did âlearn poetryâ. He learned to be free.
Cas knows that him and Dean are ârealâ (15x02 Raising Hell) because it was his connection to Dean that gave him the strength to rebel successfully and finally against Heaven.Â
Castiel learned the poetry of free will from Dean.Â
And so this little fish-motif is a sign of hope in the midst of darkness. Because although Chuck is metaphorically âstepping on that fishâ right now (aka on humanity, aka on Sam and Dean) through his intense manipulations of their lives-as-stories, the fish is a sign of the struggle for freedom. With Castielâs help, Team Free Will will rise again.
Shen Jiu's obvious motivation in telling Yue Qi that his legs are broken are to get YQ to fucking leave already before he gets caught, idiot, but I think it also has a parallels to an interesting behavior in children: when a kid is hurt in a way that they don't understand, find hard to articulate, or they know isn't seen as "bad enough" to cause this level of distress, they will sometimes lie and say that something more obvious and readily pitiable has happened to them to get someone else, usually an adult, to care/understand/sympathize. It's a plea for someone to acknowledge that they're suffering.Â
I feel like part of the reason SJ told YQ that is because he needed some way to convey how much he was suffering. On a surface level, SJ is "just" badly beaten and bruised, something that has probably happened to both SJ and YQ before. But ofc that's not all there is to it: QJL dehumanizes SJ and takes obvious joy in his suffering, treating him like a plaything. It's frightening and disquieting in a way that SJ himself probably minimizes or feels weak for being affected by, so how could he possibly tell Yue Qi? How could he explain how bad his life was going to be under QJL's boot? Just telling YQ he was beaten couldn't convey how hurt and scared he was.Â
Can't you see heâs in pain, Qi-ge? You can't forget that. You have to hurry.
Remember that time Xiao Jiu wanted to beat a kid with a brick?
The scene where Shen Jiu threatens Shi Wu is possibly my favorite scene in the whole novel because it tells us so much about qijiu's dynamic, both past and future, and namely, that they're both little freaks (affectionate) who show love in weird ways. I think it particularly exemplifies several of Yue Qingyuan's traits that often go overlooked!
One of the common disagreements about the SVSSS timeline is whether the sealing of Tianlang-jun took place before or after the Immortal Alliance Conference where Qijiu reunited, but I think this line definitively solves it:
-Seven Seas official translation, book 4 chapter 24 This is not the combat style of an experienced head disciple who's been on a major battlefield! To me, this line implies that Yue Qingyuan is fairly fresh out of the Ling Xi Caves at this point, with little chance to develop real world combat skills.Â
It's also notable that Wu Yanzi recognizes YQY as the Xuan Su sword and a Qiong Ding disciple, but not as the head disciple.Â
-Seven Seas official translation, book 4 chapter 24 Given how inexperienced YQY seems here and the fact that WYZ knows that much about YQY but doesn't identify him as the head disciple makes me think that YQY had not yet achieved that position.Â

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To me in my opinion Qijiu is praise kink x degrading kink.
Reason being Shen Jiu has probably never been praised once in his life, but the one time he was praised it surprisingly turned him on since it wasn't something he was used to.
And for Yue Qi it's the same thing. As the sect leader he's highly respected and has never been degraded, but everytime Shen Jiu insults him, he has to hold back a moan.
I agree with the premise, but my reasoning varies!Â
SJ's Praise Kink:
this one is a little complicated because itâs not an Acceptable Desire in his mind. I donât think itâs something SJ realizes he wants, and even if he did he would be loath to admit it. What kind of weakling runs around desperate for someone to say good job and pat their head in approval? Pathetic. I also really donât believe he would be turned on the first time he was praised because he would be having too many complicated emotions about it. Part of the reason I usually give him dommy fetishes is I think he is more mentally and emotionally comfortable demanding or dragging affection out of someoneâ that way itâs not about the gnawing emptiness heâs trying to fill, but his power over the other person. A much less psychologically taxing way to receive affection! (Side note: this is part of why I see sub SJ as more brat-leaning).
Still, that doesnât mean he wouldnât be into praise! The root a lot of SJâs potential fetishes is his longing to be loved unconditionally, as he sees himself as inherently rotten and therefore unlovable. SJ is someone who has a lot of trouble believing the words âI love youâ, and certainly one of the ways to approach that problem is to just tell him how lovely he is over and over while gently fucking him round after round until he criesâ just something SJ would take time to warm up to, and longer to believe. If YQY called SJ a good boy in bed out of no where heâd for sure get hit/kicked/clawed lmao.Â
YQY's Degradation Kink:
first off Yue Qi was also a slave until age 15, he experienced no shortage of degradation and dehumanization as a child. While there are absolutely s-types who are into it because itâs the opposite of what they receive or whatâs expected of them in their real life, I donât believe thatâs the case for YQY. Off the top of my head, his reasons are:
Xiao Jiu has always been harsh with how he shows affection. Yue Qi spent many years hearing âidiotâ or âfoolâ from SJâs mouth and knowing it meant that SJ was worried, jealous, loved him, etc.Â
Once SJâs persona as Shen Qingqiu is firmly in place and heâs more likely to employ an icy distance than a fiery rage. YQY would rather SJ demean and insult him than coldly ignore him.Â
Yue Qingyuan lives with an immense amount of guilt that makes him feel as though he deserves to be punished, particularly by SJ. I think even after qijiu have theoretically resolved their major conflicts he lives with this feeling that SJ shouldnât have forgiven him, that YQY deserved to suffer to his failings, that he doesnât deserve the life theyâre building together, etc. Degradation fetish is a safe way for him to excise those feelings.
As my Local Degradee Expert pointed out, there can be a relief in being called stupid, worthless, etc, and your partner still loving or forgiving you! Yue Qingyuan is an idiot and and failure and yet here SJ is having sex with him anyways, and curling up against his side afterwards.Â
Qijiu Findom is Canon
So we've all seen this scene, right?
This scene is a fundamental piece of YQY characterization to me. There's a lot to be said about how this ties into YQY's desire to protect, provide for, and spoil SJ, but today I am here to talk about how this man would be really into financial domination. I truly can't believe that only one such qijiu fic exists (thank you to kat8cha I owe you my life).Â
The core tenants of my qijiu findom manifesto are as follows:Â
YQY doesnât like spending money on himselfÂ
YQY belongs to SJ
YQY loves providing for SJÂ
SJ would rather take than receive
(Most of this post is more headcanon than directly evidenced, but I think itâs a logical jump from canon!)
I absolutely don't think Shen Jiu should ever be a parent, but I think he would be a bad parent in really interesting ways, even when circumstances are otherwise right for him to love his child (there are many ways for circumstances to Not be right, but we will not be getting into those today). There's a lot of ways for that to play out, but imo, these are his main flaws that would affect his parenting:
SJ is not good at regulating his emotions; in canon, as an adult, he seems to repress his "weak" emotions and let anger and resentment simmer until he blows up. There's a lot of reasons why emotional regulation is an important parenting skill, but the main ones are that children often pick up whatever behaviors their parents model, and SJ would likely pass his bad relationship with his emotions on to his child, and perhaps more importantly, that poor emotional regulation makes parents more likely to lose their temper with their children and treat them in cruel or otherwise age-inappropriate ways that they wouldn't normally.
SJ is bad at taking care of himself, particularly his emotional needs. There's several different possible outcomes of that, but I think the main considerations are that a man who is falling apart at the seams or rocketing towards is own self destruction will Not, generally, be very well equip to take proper care of another child. The second factor there is that an irresponsible parent often creates an adulitifed child as the child tries to either take care of the person they love, or mitigate the risk of their parent's poor moods.
SJ hates himself. Aside from the afore mentioned problem with modeling behaviors, if SJ too much of himself in his child could cause him to project that self hatred onto them as he does with Binghe in canon.Â
SJ has [Qi-ge induced] abandonment issues, and in any situation where his relationship with YQY isn't fully resolved/mended, he is sure as hell going to be putting those issues on this little creature who has no choice but to love him/who can't leave him, at least for now. SJ doesn't trust anyone to really love him, which means he'll either preemptively place emotional distance between himself and his child in anticipation of them coming to hate him, or he'll desperately cling to the child's naive affection, certain its a limited resource that he has to preserve by force.
Anyways. We've see the range of how SJ treats children that aren't his with LBH and NYY, and I think that with SJ's own child, they'd likely experience that whole range, first in line for both his love and anger, stuck standing too close to a fire that both warms and burns.