@raechelpapaya said: Hello I’m new to this blog but I love your writing so much! ( ´ ▽ ` ) May I ask for a worst first date with Vane? I love that big dork so much

First things first, HI WELCOME TO THIS MESS!!! SO GLAD YOU LOVE IT HERE!!!

Vane is an idiot and has trouble with his beating heart because holy cow he never expected to be in love before and this was insane. So he’s like, ‘lemme show them my great husband material and MAKE DINNER FOR THEM!!!’ The food is great and everything turns out nicely. You arrive and look stunning, and he gets so flustered that wow, you look incredible, so he ends up tripping and dropping all his hard work. Not only that, but it got all over you and made the candlelit table fall over, causing the nearby grass to catch on fire. In an attempt to put it out, he starts screaming and dumps a bottle of wine over it, forgetting that alcohol makes fire bigger, so you both start screaming loudly until Percival walks in with a bucket of water and scolds Vane for being an idiot. 

Oooof Odin’s idea of a magical first date is….so, so, so…unique??? Is how you word it? So he tries to take you on a ‘breathtaking’ and ‘magical’ picnic in the woods, only to get so nervous that he forgets the food, forgot the map, and got lost trying to take you to the spot. You two end up lost for hours and encounter strange and dangerous creatures that have nearly killed you at least four times. Odin ends up getting knocked unconscious after he gives a long monologue to a vicious plant monster that ended up slapping him into next week. So that meant YOU had to go and find your way out, while carrying him out of the woods and not getting both of you killed. 

OKay so Rackam finally gets the courage to ask you out (it was a horrible confession you should’ve anticipated the worst for the date), but he gets bit anxious and lights a cig every minute to calm himself down. He’s so nervous and stiff and you’re like??? Um??? Are you okay??? He’s screaming internally, he’s chugged through 7 liters of water and is sweating bullets. He’s not eating because he thinks you’ll call him fat or something, and he’s hardly keeping a conversation going and responds WAAYYY too loudly anytime you speak. The restaurant is awkward and he is like….’uhh…do you like um….ships???’ and he goes off a bit on the best design for a ship is because at this moment he is deathly afraid of your comments about him. 

The next day he drowns himself in alcohol and Eugen and Io have to drag his drunk butt to you to give him another chance. 

He’s honestly very suave when talking to you??? You don’t know how he screwed up the date tho?? He was super sweet and was like, ‘how about I show you this new restaurant in the east?’ So he sounded so cute talking about it you were like ‘heck yeah gotta see this now’. Cain takes you both only to realize… it’s not exactly a restaurant….it’s a place where monsters were that feasted on humans. How he forgot that information was astounding to you, (he got so caught up in the idea of new restaurant and taking you of all people there he may have ignored Leona saying ‘yeah you shouldn’t go there) but you both fended off the monsters and ended up destroying the sight! Sure you almost died but you two….uh…did something??? 

“hhhhhhh I don’t wanna do this danchou but Jessica suggested we hang out together….you know…bonding or something.” So you’re like okay fam if you wanna go out just say that, no need to be a dumpster tsundere about it. You two go see an underground fighting tournament and it’s super cool until Ayer suggests he could knock the competition out. You’re like ‘hahaha yeah you’re strong but like…these men are a thousand times bigger than you do you really think-’ woops now he’s already inside prepared to fight SEOX OF ALL PEOPLE (once again), and because he’s a little emo he gets his butt handed to him by an Eternal who’s done this for as twice as long as Ayer was alive. So Ayer, after suffering like twenty broken ribs and an ankle that SHOULD NOT BE BENDING IN THAT DIRECTION, he says, “he’s lucky I wasn’t at full power I wasnt looking and he got the upper hand”

*rubs hands together* first BF ask holy cooooooow

Okay so Zelnite is a great thief and all, but he hasn’t really ever gone on a date before so he magically appears by your window late and night and yells ‘IM GONNA STEAL YOUR HEART’ and you freakin SCREAMED. He apologized and tried to take you to a ‘special place’ (which was a place in the forest where you got a good view of the stars and the kingdom around you). You complied but due to him being a notorious thief and yelling a confession, you two ended up getting chased by bounty hunters who wanted his head for a price. You both had to hide in a muddy area of the forest to escape capture, and you were beyond pissed with the thief. 

*clears throat* I’m sorry, did you mean, TAKUMI ON STEROIDS??? This guy is so aggressive when he’s trying to ask you on a date he’s like ‘listen I don’t like you but I kinda do but don’t mistake that for me getting buddy buddy with you it’s supposed to be team bonding alone only us two no Quaid or anyone else just you and me’. So yeah you go and you’re already confused, is he confessing or is he denying??? He takes you to a secluded mountain view that is really pretty, so you’re like, ‘wow this is so beautiful Colt,’ and he’s like ‘dfsjfnjndsjnfjanjnjfn’ he is red and he looks about ready to pass out. So you compliment him more, say the food is nice and the view is cool, and that you’re glad he’s spending time with you! He then excuses himself and walks behind a tree only TO SCREAM. He then is about to walk back before Shusui starts making threats and you both flee. So then he is back at base ONLY FOR QUAID TO TALK TO YOU AND HE ENDS UP BREAKING A WALL OR TWO. NOPE HES NOT JEALOUS, HIM, NO! NEVER!!