#vane x reader

The knight grits his teeth, he still has such a long way to go if he wants to catch up to his friends.

Yet somewhere in his mind he knows that even Siegfried would have some trouble with the situation.

Vane flinches as he finally goes about removing his armor. The bruises are already forming on his skin. He sighs, as he looks at the now red bandage on his arm. 

The wound you and your companions so diligently and carefully bandaged has obviously re-opened. The blood seeping and staining the white cloth red.

A knock on the door startles Vane a bit.

"Vane? Lancelot told me you were here, can I come in?"

For a moment Vane doubts. Somehow you seem to sense it, he notes that you always know the right thing to say and this time is no different.

"Vane… I understand you might not want to burden the infirmary right now, but at least let me check on you"

Honestly Vane just knows Lancy sent you because he knows Vane would let you in. Vane had trouble saying no to you after.

Vane nods at your request but realising you could not see him he quickly shouted 'come in'.

The wooden door creaks with the weight you put against it. You enter the room and after you close the door your gaze finally settles on the man before you.

Vane smiles and you frown.

"Yo cap' "

He always does this, putting up a brave face. Yet it hurts to see him like this. 

"Vane…" 

You start but you don't finish your sentence. You realize that a verbal scolding is not what the knight needs right now. It could wait.

As the bruises go from red to blue already you get to work. Taking a seat in front of him, close enough you can feel the warmth radiating off his skin.

Vane obediently removes his shirt, showing more wounds, wounds he also got from taking hits that were meant for you. And for a moment you hesitate, the extent of his injuries would be much better suited for the healers at the infirmary.

"Ha ha ha, I hope it isn't to off putting Captain"

Your eyes fly up to meet Vanes' but the man before you is scratching his cheek almost nervously.

And without hesitation you tap the wound on his shoulder. Causing the knight to flinch and let out a hiss.

"Idiot. Do you even know how badly injured you really are?"

Vane quickly realises his worry is unfounded, yet he is shocked. Shocked at the worried frown on your face. Shocked at the unfallen tears in your eyes.

You are worried about him.

You are worried that your treatment won't be enough.

"I know"

You blink away tears as Vane responds. His tone is serious, his voice taking on a deeper and harder tone. You rarely hear Vane speak so seriously and you forget how deep the timber in his voice really is.

You want to ask why, why don't you go to the infirmary? Why treat the wounds yourself to begin with? Yet, you know the answers yourself. It is the same reason you hide your own injuries from the crew. 

Your wandering thoughts and realisations stop as Vane reaches out to you and brushes a wayward tear away from your cheek before cupping the side of your face.

He couldn’t stand it, the cuts and bruises are one thing. But the pain he felt at your tear, you are crying. You are crying because of him.

The tips of his fingers are tangled in your hair and it is soft. The rustle of the strands make the scent of your shampoo reach his nose and he realises he is close.

Close enough to smell that slight fruity scent only few have been privy to.

"I trust you to take care of me"

You swear your eyes couldn't get wider as Vane says your name, not cap, not captain. Your given name.

Vane, feeling exceptionally brave, presses a chaste kiss on your cheek before resting his forehead against your own. Feeling the skin heat up beneath his own. And he smiles.

You want to scold the man before you. But you find that you can't. Not when he has his eyes closed and smiles like he has the sun in his hands.

So instead you scoff and grin before leaning in to steal a kiss from the unsuspecting knight before you. It is Vane turn to blush as his eyes open as quickly as your lips leave his.

Warm.

It feels warm as you push him upright. Vane feels warm as he wants nothing more than to feel your lips on his again. He feels warm as you start treating his injuries.

It had been a month, or two, or three. You had lost track of time. For you, night was morning and morning was night and it stopped when sleeping. Around, the world moved on, people kept falling in love and children were born. Nothing had changed for the rest of them.

For you, nothing would ever be the same. You couldn’t convince yourself to be a part of the world you lived in, no matter how hard you tried. You lived, but had died long ago.

You sat alone in a table, as far as possible from the people that looked and pitied you in silence because none of them were brave enough to approach your table. It was alright, though. It was what you wanted the most, to be left alone at last. To be ignored so no one could judge, and you could grief, and suffer, and weep as much as it was needed.

But as for now, all you did was drink. It was the second bottle and Max was looking worried from the bar, where Jack and Anne accompanied her with the same look on their faces. You didn’t notice Jack getting up from his stool and walking up to you. When he sat down and took the bottle, you looked up with a frown and sighed, preparing for another lecture.

“We haven’t talked in a while,” Jack spoke. His voice was soft and gentle, as it was expected from him. “I was wondering how’s it going?” He questioned, although it wasn’t his intention.

You grunted. “You know how, now give me the bottle back.” You tried to catch the bottle but he was faster and moved back in the chair, out of your reach. “Jack.”

You rubbed your face, it was starting to get hot. It felt like the room had shrunk and those who had been looking at you from afar had gotten closer. Their sadness, their whispers, it all felt so close you had trouble breathing. Or perhaps it was the alcohol. Whatever it was, it did not feel good. Your breaths were quick and erratic and you trembled. You had experienced a similar situation a few months back, right after the war when Idelle wanted to talk. The world had closed and trapped you inside a fire to die suffocating.

You never expected to know such pain, not after all that happened. But it was war, and when at war the unexpected must be expected. Trust was broken upon glances and even shadows were enemies under the right circumstances. Hiding, running and killing became a routine. It was impossible to escape from the consequences of being a pirate. Most people gave up, the thought of battle seemed to frighten them, and accepted the Governor and England, but James Flint couldn’t accept that, and to your despair, neither could Charles Vane.

I have to, it’s our home, he had said. You knew there was nothing that could stop him, he had set up his mind and he was going to follow Flint until them or England were dead. But it was wrong. You had a home, but it wasn’t Nassau, or an island lost in the middle of the ocean, or even a place. It had a name, a smile, and blue eyes.

And it was gone.

You heard Jack sigh and looked up, he was rubbing his face. But something seemed off, looking closer, there were noticeable tears running down.

You took his hand and smiled. “If I talk about this, that means he’s gone forever. That means there won’t be more promises, or bedtalk, or cuddles. We won’t laugh until the sun rises and make wishes upon the stars. There won’t be children, or grandchildren. No future. If I talk, if I accept it now, there’s nothing left for me. You understand?”

It was hard to explain, what was going on. You felt dead, but lived. You breathed, ate, drank and walked among the living, but no part of you was truly alive. And you knew it was hurting your friends, you knew none of them deserved to see you deteriorate to death, but what else was left to do? No passion, no love, no happiness. Just pain and a cursed existence.

“I understand,” he said. You frowned, he was upset and his voice cracked. He lost him too, of course. But it wasn’t the same. “You can’t do this,” he whispered. “You can’t drink each night to pass out, to death. You insult him, and he’d be ashamed. You come here, to drink and scream, and people look and then laugh. You think he’d want that?”

Your hand moved, not sure how. You weren’t thinking about hitting him, but it moved on its own accord. The slap made the room go silent and Anne got up from her chair and ran up to where you two were. She looked angrier than you’d ever seen her and, if you had cared at least a bit about your life, you would’ve been scared. But the cloud that darkened your days also forced you to not care whether they ended or not.

Anne reached the table, fuming. “What is wrong with you, bitch?” She roared. Jack sushed and made her sit down besides him. It took a few minutes, but the place started to move and people minded their own business.

“Did that help?” He asked as if he understood. And perhaps he did.

You hadn’t noticed, just like when he started weeping but the tears blended with his glistening skin and you had attributed it to the alcohol and the weather. But it wasn’t the rum or the sweat. What ran down your face in that moment were tears. A promise travelled with each one of them, disappearing when it hit the table, to never come back.

“No.” Nothing helped. You were going insane. “I’m scared, and I’m lost.”

“So come back ashore,” Anne spoke. You and Jack looked at her surprised. Of all the things Anne was, she had never been mistaken as a good adviser. “You’re a ship, lost in the sea. Your Captain is gone, and it hurts and we know, but the storm isn’t going to bring him back or take you to him. Is going to drown you, and you can’t let that happen. He made his choice, and he did so because he wanted you two to have a home and not have to spend your lives running in fear. Don’t make his death worthless now by become a different person than the one he loved. Come back ashore, and honour your Captain.”

Honestly the only thing grounding him is his spear and he grips the weapon a bit tighter.

Vane wants to say thank you, to show you properly how grateful he is. Yet in this moment he could only tear up at your gesture. You are a little surprised, the members of your crew don't usually cry when you offer them the chocolates.

Vane has always wears his emotions on his sleeve, but you didn't mean to make him cry during his training.

The vice captain notices your worried look and sniffles. He has to do something to soothe your worries, god he didn’t mean to make you worried. He is just so incredibly happy.

"I gotta be the luckiest guy in the skies!" Vane snobs out and you gently pat his shoulder. You let out a breath in relief, happy tears, he crying happy tears. 

"You can't help but cry at this kinda of thing, you know?" Vane sniffles and looks down at you.

The tears stick to his lashes as he tries to blink them away, is it horrible of you to think that his glassy eyes look pretty? And he looks at you so fondly. Like you are his sun and moon, his world. You can feel the warmth spread from your cheeks to your neck and ears, almost as fast as your beating heart. It is unfair Vane is able to do this to you with the intensity of his gaze.

The words leave your lips before you have time to consider them.

"I will stay with you"

Vane blinks a couple of times, causing more tears to drip down his cheeks. Vane is ready to die from happiness. He is only standing by the sheer force of his will and the pure joy he feels. You are such a kind captain, such a kind friend, maybe even a kind...

"You'll stay with me until I calm down?" Vane asks. His mind reeling there was nothing else behind your words right? Because that is all it is, right? He wasn’t as cool or famous like Lancy or Percy. You couldn’t possibly...

Your hand twitches on his upper arm. Feeling the muscles underneath the cloth tense. Like the man before was unsure. But he has no reason to be.

Not when those bright blue eyes look at you, corners of those eyes slightly crinkles in joy. The biggest smile on those pretty lips and blonde hair slightly tousled from the wind and training.

The men in the sky realms and no right to be so handsome. 

"Captain?" Vane asks gently, because the way look at him is getting him all hot and bothered. Star struck, all your attention on him, is that a blush on your cheeks? And your lips are parted ever so slightly, are you wearing gloss today?

Your undivided attention, all on him, and it feels good. Vane wants to scold himself. You aren't his alone, you are the captain of an infamous crew. The singularity, the one who has the respect of the most powerful beings and groups

But you, again, surprise him. Because before he takes another breath your small frame presses against him, your arms wrapping around his torso.

"It is okay" You whisper and gently start rubbing his back. Vane just can't help it, more tears spill from his eyes. 

A loud clank makes you jump in shock but before you could even look Vane wraps his arms around you. One around your shoulder and one hand pressing against the small of your back locking you against him.

"Captain" the man sniffles and nuzzles the crown of your head. Taking in scent of your hair and you feel more than hear the happy grumble in Vanes' chest.

"I might take me the whole day to recover from this" Vane mumbles, feeling brave. He doesn't want to lose this feeling of warmth. The feeling of you pressed against his strong body.

The always strong and brave Captain is safe in his arms.

You smile, though you know he can't see it, and press your hands flat against his back. Wanting to drown is this feeling, in everything that Vane the wonderful man that he is.