#first angst

While sitting on the couch, you just look around and realize it's always like this. Every if not most nights, you're at home alone, waiting for Eggsy. Usually, end up watching a Netflix movie by yourself when it was supposed to be movie night for you two. Or when you cook dinner for the both of you, and you end up putting it up for him for whenever he comes home from whatever mission he's currently on.

You love him, you really do, but this is getting exhausting. Waiting for him when he's usually late or when he doesn't even come home for nights like this.

Whenever you finally see him, he typically apologizes and says things like, "you know how long these missions get? I tried to get home in time, but I just couldn't."

or the one he always says that hurts every time because you know he won't. "I promise next time I'll be home and on time."

You give your all in this relationship, and for once, you just want him to put one night aside for you. Put you before his missions, before him being a Kingsman, hell even before his Adidas. Just for one night. You know he loves you, but for once, you want him to prove it. That's all you want from him.

You blink and realize that you've been crying, and you decide to just call it a night, like every night. So you start to get up from the couch while sighing because you've been sitting for hours in your date-night outfit. And then suddenly, you see Eggsy come rushing in through the front door. He's wearing his usual suit and tie. Still, everything looks disheveled, like he's been running for miles while being beaten up somehow.

You look at him, and you don't know what to feel. Relieved? Because he's finally home, worried? Because he looks like he's been through a lot tonight. Sad? Because you remember you've been waiting hours for him to come home because he promised he'd be home on time. Angry? Because this isn't the first time it's happened, and you're tired of seeing this same exact situation happen every night. You don't know which one to feel mainly, but you know you feel them all.

You stand there just looking at him while he's at the door. And just when he begins to say, "y/n I'm so-" you instantly realize what you feel the most. Angry. You put your hand up, and you start to walk off because you can't even deal with this. not again for what feels like the millionth time. He rushes behind you and says, "can you just let me explain!" you don't even bother to hear him out anymore because you know him. You know it's going to be the same thing. And your heading upstairs to the bedroom.

You start walking up the stairs, and he begins to say, "I and harry went on this mission, and it was supposed to be easy.

Go in and get a chip that could potentially hold serious information. And we knew the building had security".

And he starts to do a light laugh while saying, "But it turns out it was a bit more than expected." which causes you to stop and turn around to him while on the stairs, and you just glare at him. Because you can't believe he has the nerve to be light-hearted right now.

He sees your tear-stained face and your eyes that hold so much anger, and he immediately stops his smile. You turn back around, continuing to head up the stairs. And he follows and says, "But I tried to make it home as fast as possible; I'm so so sorry y/n." you scoff because you knew it was coming; he says the same thing every single fucking time. Your just waiting for him to finish it off.

You get to the bedroom, and while walking in, he says, "y/n I promise next time ill be here and on time." you stop walking, and there it was, that was the last strike, the last thing you heard. That trigger made you remember every time he was late, every memory of having to stay home alone for hours while crying and just sitting in frustration. Every time you'd just wish he'd put you first for just one night. All of it came to you the moment he said that.

You turn around and say, "are fucking kidding me, Eggsy?" shaking your head in disbelief. "every time you do this, we plan one night, and you're always late. And you always come home and say, "baby, I'm so sorry; I promise ill be on time next time. EVERY FUCKING NIGHT EGGSY. I'm tired of this bullshit; you know how exhausting it is building your hopes up over and over and always being disappointed and left alone, huh? think about that Eggsy. Spend one fucking night being here left alone when you thought you'd spend a great night with me. It wouldn't feel too good now, would it? WOULD IT?"

You didn't mean to go on a rant, but once you started speaking, everything you haven't said to him, but you've always wanted to, kept coming out of your mouth. And saying it felt like a weight lifting off your shoulders. and yet you were still angry.

You’re staring at him, expecting him to say something because he can't just be silent after hearing everything you just said. But he has a confused facial expression, almost as if it's surprising that you've felt like this. Then it turns into anger, and he starts to say with so much disgust, "you know I try to be home as soon, and as much as possible, don't twist this like this is something I like doing to you." You can't believe that's what he says. After everything you just said, that's all he says.

You walk closer to him and say with a chuckle, "oh really, you could've fooled me by how much you do it". And the laughter immediately goes back to anger. Eggsy says, "y/n I don't know what your fucking on about. But are you serious right now? " you see he's getting angrier, and you start to step back. He continues and says, " you know what I think of when I'm on those missions risking my fucking life... HUH?" he raises his voice, and you get a bit shocked. He goes on, "DO YOU? I know I don't get back on time. Still, it's not a fucking moment when I'm away that I'm not thinking of you. It fucking kills me inside knowing your home alone, waiting for me, knowing that I'm late again and not near YOU. I don't do this shit to you on purpose; I love you, and don't you EVER FUCKING QUESTION THAT AGAIN. YOU HEAR ME Y/N"

when he raised his voice, you were a bit shocked for a minute. You didn't know what to say or do. But you instinctively backed up and went to go sit on the bed, and you didn't even see it coming, but you just start crying. He'd never yelled at you ever, he may have fussed or slightly raised his voice but never fully yelled at you, and despite what he said, it was still a lot to take in. and all of that anger you had come crashing down. And you were scared, not only of him but everything that was said, how you feel, everything in that moment scared you, and you couldn't even verbally explain how.

Eggsy immediately realized what he did once he saw you sit down on the bed and cry. he quickly tries to sit next to you and says, "shit y/n I'm sorry I don't know what I was thinking-".

But you instantly move away from him and head out of the room. You quickly go to the guest room.

You hear him sigh and say, "you fucked up again, Eggsy" while listening to what you assumed was a smack to his own head. Then he shouts empathically to you in the hallway, "y/n... I didn't mean to yell at you," but you keep walking, and you finally get into the guest room; you proceed to shut and lock the door right when he was getting close to it.

It shuts on his face; you hear him slightly hit the door with his hand and sigh. He says, "y/n, please open the door; I really fucked up when I yelled. and I know my promises probably mean nothing to you. but I love you, and I promise I will never yell at you again."

You hear him, and you can tell he's sincere, but you're not ready to open the door. Not until you clear up the whole reason you two even got into an argument in the first place. He needs to know that you can't take being left home alone again when you two were supposed to have a night together. He needs to know that you won't go through it again.

And him saying "y/n?" interrupts your thoughts. "can you open the door?" he says. And you think about the fact that telling him you won't be left home alone again would probably be better face to face. Not through a door, but instead, you say "no." he proceeds to say, "please y/n please open the door so I can see you." You say, "not until you promise and not like the bullshit ass promises you usually give me, promise me just like you did for yelling. Promise me you won't leave me home alone again for another night. I can't, and I won't take another night."

"And if you cant, you'll make sure you find a way to plan another night. And you won't be late for that one," and you stop talking because you need to hear him. You need to listen to the sincerity, or anything he says won't mean anything to you.

Then he speaks, "yes y/n, I promise that'll be home on time and you won't be left home alone again. and I’ll put you first from now on. and I'm so sorry I haven't been doing that before, I swear. " and that was it. That's what you've wanted for the longest. For him to just once put you first. And you know he means it because he can mean a promise, but to swear, you know he truly means it. And that's all you need to open the door and look at him.

Once you look at him, you see he has a guilty look on his face with a hint of regret but, most importantly, relief once his eyes met yours. And once you two look at each other instantly, you two rush to each other. And both of you passionately kiss each other like its first time and simultaneously the last. And he quickly pulls away to say, "I'm so sorry y/n," and you, while out of breath say "I know" with a smile, and you two hurriedly back to kissing each other.

Your feeling everything at the moment, sadness, happiness, relief, exhaustion, but while Eggsy kisses you, all you can feel is the heat between you two. You don't know how but while he kisses you, all you feel is this euphoric rush run through your whole body. And despite still being in the aftermath of everything that just happened, you cant stop the feeling.

The kiss is fantastic, but you need more. And Eggsy notices this and starts to move his hands and rubs them over your hips and ass. and god, does it feel good. You missed this. Nowadays, Eggsy is barely ever home, and you never see him at night. And on rare occasions you do see him during the day, you two only have quickies, never any time to do what you're doing now.

You moan a little when he goes to squeeze your ass, and that makes him pull away from your lips and say, "I don't think you've forgiven me enough, sweetheart," in his British accent. And all you can embarrassingly do is whimper. he hears it and says, "maybe I should show you how sorry I am, huh."

All you can do is rapidly nod your head yes. And when you do, he goes back to kissing you roughly and passionately. You moan at the kiss and start to desperately rub against his leg in need of friction. He pulls back and says, "slow down, baby, we've got all night and mornin', let me take care of you," and you could cum right then and there, but you held it together because you want him, you need him. And he knows that

he starts to kiss your neck while slowly beginning to take off your clothes. He's moving so agonizingly slow that you whimper trying to tell him to hurry. He doesn't care; he's teasing you. And you start to get frustrated, and you say bluntly, "stop teasing already and do something Eggsy" he looks at you and smiles and proceeds to say "whatever you say" with a smirk.

Your clothes are off, and your fully naked, yet he still has his dress shirt and slacks on. which turns you on, and all you can do is look at him while getting wetter and wetter. But what pulls you out of your horny daze is when Eggsy slightly pushes you onto the guest bed and gets on top of you. He goes to kiss you, then starts to move down to your neck, and you moan at the feeling because, god, it feels good. He moves down to your left nipple and places it in his mouth while playing with the right one in his hand.

His mouth felt unbelievable on your sensitive nipples; you could've exploded from that alone, but he stops suddenly, which causes you to open your eyes. You see him starting to kiss down your stomach, and fuck did it feel like fire every time he kissed your body.

He sits up and grabs your legs and pulls them apart roughly, and grabs one of your legs, and he starts to kiss all the way from your leg to your center while making eye contact with you the whole time. And that alone made you moan "fuck me" under your breath. he hears it and chuckles while situating his face right in front of your wet center.

You sit up on your arms because you want to see him while he's eating you out because other than him being on top of you, it's the hottest fucking sight to see. But he uses his hands to push you back down. He says, "sit back and relax, just let me make-" then he suddenly licks a stripe through your wet folds "you," he says. You barely hear him from how loud your moan was. "feel," and he licks another, "good," and then he suddenly laps his mouth on your bundle of nerves.

"ohhh shit," you gasp, barely able to breathe because he's sucking and licking what feels like everywhere on your pussy. It's like the wind is knocked out of you because, god, it feels incredible. He occasionally dips his tongue into your hole and proceeds to tongue fuck you. "don't stop Eggsy pls for the love of go-" you couldn't even continue because when you said that he placed two fingers into your cunt.

You loudly gasp because he instantly found your sweet spot. He never fails to find it. When you two first slept together, he found it so quickly it's like it was made for his fingers to always find. You can't hold on anymore; between his tongue and fingers relentlessly pumping in and out of you, your gonna explode.

He knows that and somehow picks up his pace, which you didn't even know was possible because he was going at a fast pace already. But then, right when your on the edge, he stops his mouth really quick but keeps his fingers going and says, "cum for me, sweetheart," then dives back down to your bundle of nerves.

And that was all you needed to hear to make you explode and scream his name. and you swear you see stars and went to space, but it isn't until you realize he's trying to lap up all of your juices that you come back down from your high. While he's doing it, he's careful because he knows how you are sensitive after orgasms.

When he's done, he comes up with all your juices dripping down his face, and he leans in to kiss you. And even though you're still trying to catch your breath, you kiss him back. You taste yourself on him, and it makes the kiss even sexier.

While kissing him, you notice he's rubbing against you, then he suddenly moves to kiss down your neck like he was doing earlier. You look down and see that he's hard. and seeing him hard from just eating you out makes you moan. He pulls away and sees that you're looking at his cock. He looks at you, and you look at him with pleading eyes, basically begging him to fuck you

he quickly says, "you just can't wait, can you, sweetheart?" and he goes back to kissing your neck. You moan a small "Eggsy, just fuck me" he pulls away and says "okay" with a smirk.

You didn't know whether to be scared or turned on by how he said that, but you don't care as long as he hurries up and gets inside you. he moves off the bed and starts to take off his shirt and his pants. And you thank the universe for allowing this sexy ass man to be your boyfriend.

He starts to pull off his boxers, and the moment he does, your mouth drops. Yes, you've seen his cock before, but it never fails to make you shocked and hornier than you previously were every time. His cock is standing proud and tall, and you can even see some precum leaking out of the tip.

Eggsy then goes to stroke it, and in doing so, it causes him to moan at the feeling. "bloody hell," he sighs and then tips his head back and closes his eyes, and all you can do is bite your lip and watch the sight in front of you. It isn't until Eggsy tilts his head straight again and says, "couldn't wait for me?" and you crease your eyebrows in confusion. and he points to your hand that currently is playing with your wet folds. Which you didn't even notice because you were so entranced with what he was doing.

"I guess I couldn't," you say in a playful, intimate tone. This causes Eggsy to get on the bed, get on top of you, and start to kiss you roughly. When Eggsy gets hornier, he usually gets more dominant, which you love. Then you feel Eggsy moving his cock up and down through your wet folds. and you let out a broken moan. "Eggsy, stop teasing," you say. He laughs at that and says, "if you say so."

Then you see him grab his cock and position it in front of your core. Right before he goes in, he says, "you ready?" and you say "ye-" and you couldn't even finish the sentence because he swiftly entered you. Which made you loudly gasp.

"fuuuuuck" you hear Eggsy say. Once he knew you were adjusted to him, he began to move inside your silky walls. And you wrap your legs around his back and hold onto him because you don't know how long you can last, so you need to hold onto something.

His pace starts off slow but deep, and it has you crying out. "you like that, don't you, sweetheart," he says cockily, and all you can say is "ye-sss" while struggling to get it out in between his hard thrusts.

You don't know how he does it. Still, whenever he's fucking you, he always makes sure your body knows what it's like to feel good. To feel euphoric and to make you literally go another world. You love him, you love what he does to your body, you love the way his cock fits inside of you, fuck, you love it all.

He knows your close, and he's close too, but he needs you to come first. So he reaches down and places his thumb over your bundle of nerves. and that causes you to clench down on him, and he feels it and says, "shiiit y/n."

You smile at that, but then you feel him start to thrust a bit harder. Whenever he's close to cumming he always gets rougher and starts to talk a bit dirtier, but you don't mind; matter fact, you love it.

You're getting close too, and your right there, and he keeps fucking you. While thrusting into you, he says, "I haven't been treating this pussy right, have I?" "haven't given it enough attention." He knows your right on the edge when he says that, and he knows what exactly to say to get you to explode, so he suddenly reaches down and whispers in your ear, "cum on my cock, I know you can do it."

Then you feel it, you feel your release explode within you, and your whole body stills in shock from the fireworks that just went off in your body. Then suddenly, you hear Eggsy say, "holy fuuuuck y/n," and you feel his hot release inside spurt inside you.

You gasp loudly, and you grab onto him, letting you and him settle down from both of your orgasms. He's still in you, but he's slowing his pace down. Once you both have calmed down, he slowly pulls out of you, trying to be careful due to your sensitiveness. which causes you to groan at the feeling.

He then lays next to you, and while out of breath, you say, "that was amazing," with a smile. He also replies out of breath, "yeah, and y/n, I really am sorry I haven't been here." You just shush him with a kiss, and you pull away, and you say, "I know, just don't do it again" he quickly replies, "I won't, I swear," and you smile at him, and he says "I love you," you say it back. Then you two kiss, you pull away and get out of bed and say, "Okay, let's go shower then watch sum Netflix!" and he says, "okay, but I pick the movie."

and all you do is smile because even though he was late, you love him and that'll be something that never changes

“Oh that’s fun, where are you going.” You open your door and see your sleeping cat on the chair by the door waiting for your return.

“We” She emphasizes “are going out for some drinks.”

“I’m a bad mom if I leave my son home alone. Also, it was a long day. I just want to watch Parks and Rec. and sleep.”

Sarah walked into the house and to your room like she owned the place. You let her do her thing and Ginger followed you to the kitchen to give him some dinner. Once you saw he was all settled you walked into your room.

“I picked out jeans and a nice top. Your job is to pair it with a nice jacket. I already know your going with your brown boots.” Sarah pointed to the items on your bed.

“Sarah, I love you. Mitch is lucky to have you because otherwise I would have snatched you up.” You place a kiss on her cheek to show your gratitude.

She leaves letting you know she would be back in thirty because they would be giving you a ride. She is too smart knowing that if you were to drive yourself you would not make it.

Two drinks in and you are questioning why you didn’t want to go out in the first place. Conversation with Mitch and Sarah flows easy. Sarah not drinking because she was the designated driver for the night. As Sarah was telling you about a bakery in New York, Mitch interrupted with a yell of his favorite person.

Harry walked over to your table with nothing but grace. He was a walking angel. But it’s not like you would ever tell him that. You scoot over so he could slide right in. Harry’s beautiful voice greets us and the warmth he is radiating off has got you sleepy.

Harry did not know that you would be joining them. Mitch had failed to share that part of information but he doesn’t mind. He enjoys your company because you seem to be the only person who laughs at his jokes. Harry just doesn’t know how to make a move on you.

He’s not in the mood for drinking and just decides to sip on his lemonade. As he talks to Mitch about a new melody that has been stuck in his head he feels pressure on his right side. It’s Y/N leaning on him. Harry is surprised she’s doing this and finds it a little odd. He can’t say he doesn’t like it but he’s unsure of what to do.

Harry looks at this beautiful girl sitting next to him and decides to lift his arm and put it around her. Immediately after he does that she scoots closer to her and if he’s being honest it’s like she’s meant to be right next to him.

“She’s cuddly when she’s tired.” Sarah answers what Harry had not yet asked. “We can switch spots if you want.” Harry lets her know it’s fine.

“Y/N does this with everyone. She told us when we first became friends that once she gets comfortable and warm she becomes a big cuddler and most likely will fall asleep.” Mitch decides to fill Harry in with more information.

Harry sits there and remembers the first time he met her.

Mitch had invited him to a small gathering at his house that Sarah planned. Once he arrived he hung out with just about everyone because that’s just the type of person he is. The party started winding down when he spotted Mitch with a girl sat next to him. The thing was she was leaning on Mitch a little too close for a person. He’s not sure Sarah would like it.

“Hey mate, don’t think Sarah would like to see you cuddling someone else.” He told Mitch.

“Don’t worry” a voice answers behind him. He turns and sees Sarah taking a picture of the two people sitting on the couch.“This is Y/N. The friend we have been wanting you to meet. She was tired and Mitch fell victim to being her companion.”

Harry nods wanting to see the hue of the girls eyes because she looked like a true angel sleeping.

Harry continues his conversation with Mitch and he’s not sure how much time has passed when you begin to stir.

You blink and make eye contact with Sarah from across the table silently communicating if you really fell asleep in Harry’s arms. She smirks and nods her head. Hoping for this to be the move them both needed to admit their feelings.

You look up at Harry and find that you are extremely comfortable but also even more tired. As you began to get up Harry looked down at you offering you a smile.

“Sorry for sleeping on you. I hope I wasn’t much of a bother.” You tell him quietly.

He shakes his head at you. “It was no bother, love. You kept me very warm.”

“I could say the same to you.” You both sit there looking at each other till you decide to break it. “You mind going home already? I’m tired.” You told Sarah.

She nods but before she has a chance to speak Harry cuts her off. “I can take you home, love.”

“You sure, she is probably-” Harry cuts Mitch off with one look.

“I would love that. Thank you, Harry.”

After bidding the lovely couple goodbye, you and Harry share a nice ride home with Elton John playing quietly in the car. This was weird because Harry had never given you rides before but you hoped that would change.

It’s been two months since the first time you slept on Harry in the bar. Your relationship has blossomed. You and Harry hangout and text a lot more. It’s something you like but you are too nervous to make the first move on him. Sarah has tried to convince you to ask him because no matter where you seem to go, you seem to gravitate towards Harry. Sarah had let you know that she misses your cuddles. She said you saved them all for Harry. You knew she was right. That is why you invited him to dinner with your brother that was in town for the weekend as well as Sarah and Mitch. Your brother had to meet the people that were caring for you. 

You had a hard day at work, and it had left you exhausted. You didn’t want to cancel on your brother so you decided to suck it up and get ready. You were all meeting up there. Harry was sorry he couldn’t give you a ride because he had a meeting with Jeff. You told him it was fine but to make it even if he was late because it was important. He had promised he would.

The restaurant was an italian place that your brother had picked out. You wanted your brother to meet the important people in your life to reassure him that you were well taken cared of. As all four of you were seated in a secluded area thanks to Harry. Conversation flowed easily, but so did the time.

By the time you finished your entree you were stuffed and it got you sleepy. You were bummed Harry still wasn’t here because you wanted to snuggle into his shoulder. You had told him it was a surprise on why they were all having a fancy dinner. You didn’t want him to know it was your brother he was meeting incase he didn’t want to.

“I know you’re sleepy. Rest on my shoulder and I’ll wake you if” He corrects himself “when he arrives.”

“Thanks Thomas. You’re going to love Harry.” You snuggle closer to your brother giving a silent prayer that Harry would make it.

It was eight o’clock and just shot a text to Mitch that he was in the parking and would be in soon. He was excited to see Y/N and the surprise she would not tell him because even the famous puppy dogs eye did not work.

Following the hostess to his table he was excited but nothing could prepare him for what was in front of him. The girl he had grown feelings for was cuddled in another man's arms and it broke his heart. The surprise was a boyfriend, she had strung him along and like the fool he was he fell. The guy holding Y/N made eye contact away and slowly whispered in your ear something to wake you up. In seconds, your eyes connected and you smiled.

“Harry, I’m glad you made it.” You exclaimed.

Harry’s jaw was clenched shut and Mitch quickly noticed this. He hoped Harry wouldn’t blow.

You got up from your seat and walked to to him and grabbing his arm but he quickly pulled away making your frown. You didn’t want to question him and walked to stand by your brother.

“Harry this is my b-” You started before Harry’s loud voice interrupted you.

“Was I a game to you?” Harry started. “Falling asleep on me, cuddling me, staying up late talking, huh.” Harry was fuming. He could only see red. “I opened up to you like a fool. Only for you to get another man.”

Tears began to build in your eyes and you could not hide your shock.

“Harry, please stop.” You said tears falling down your face now.

“No, you used me for what attention, money or connections. It’s so typical. I was falling in love with you.” Harry stopped to take a deep breath. “You’re just like the rest of them. Worse.”

You couldn’t take his mean words. Didn’t want to even try to prove him wrong. You grabbed your bag and got close to him for what felt like the last time. You looked at his gorgeous green eyes and only saw anger in them no more resemblance to the stars.

You took a deep breath and locked eyes with Harry. “Harry, meet my brother Thomas. He is the most important person in my life and I wanted him to meet the man I was falling in love with.”

With those final words you rushed out of the restaurant and ran to your car. You turned it on and sped away as fast as you could. Leaving your brother behind with no care, but he would understand.

Harry’s tears fell as soon as he locked eyes with your brother. He was ashamed and heartbroken for hurting you. Without a second thought he rushed out to try to stop you but he got out to see your car driving away from him.  

He fell to his knees and cried not carrying who saw. You left and it was his fault.

Away you went taking his heart.

This took a turn that I definitely was not expecting. Feedback is appreciated.

Part 2