#firephoenixatx

I wonder how a person can be such a disposable low life of a human being. I wonder how they can live with themselves and I have come to understand that they can't live with themselves. That they can't look at themselves in the mirror. Take Martin Samual daily for an example, he can't live with himself at all. He drinks all the time. He can't take a shower and take care of his looks or body. It makes wonder at what other wrongs he has committed towards others to make him not look at himself. Who does he see the very few times he looks at himself in the mirror. I know that he sees guilt and he can't stomach is own reflect. How sad to live like that. Nothing but a dirty drunk. He can't meet another's gaze. He always looks down or away from another's person eyes when asked a question. How does it feel to know that you feel so guilty? How does it feel not to be a proud man? That you in fact have no manhood at all? I could never imgain feeling that that low of scum. To feel that I was the shit off someone's shoe. To feel so badly about myself that all I can do is drink myself to death and be so dirty as to not take a shower until I have to sober long enough to try and work. I'm so glad I don't feel that way about myself. I'm so happy that I can only watch how another human being can do that to themselves. It grosses me out how a person can hate themselves so much.