#findingmypurpose

The author urged us to then look up the meaning of our names. So, I did. Below are my findings and thoughts.

Kareena

Origin: Greek, Scandanavian, Russian, Norwegian, Hindu

Meanings (adjectives): pure i.e., spotless, virtuous, Godly, unblemished, righteous, innocent.

Hindu prefix, "Kar" means (noun): flower.

You've got to be kidding me. Right?!

It all makes so much sense now. By divine creation of God, I am to be fruitful. Flowers pollinate and multiply; outside of beauty, the essence of their existence is to give birth to more flowers.

I lead my life through love and giving my heart to everyone. But it was always something I envied and couldn't understand why. Why do I keep giving love to others more than they give me? It never feels fully reciprocated in return, but I do it regardless.

Now I know why. God divinely created me to be a lover, to be pure of heart, to be virtuous, righteous, innocent and loving. I am to wear my heart on my sleeve because it makes me who God created me to be. And I realize now that deep in my soul I am meant to share this love, and create in love.

Just about a month ago I had a dream I was in a fluffy white bed, laying on my right side with my right arm propping up my head so I could watch TV. I don't remember what was on the TV but the room was very bright. And then I heard a tiny, innocent giggle. When I looked down near my right arm, laying in the curve of my breast and stomach was a bright-eyed, curly haired baby boy. His hair was jet black. And he wore a emerald green onesie that had polka dots or stripes or some pattern all over it. They pattern was white. I smiled because he was kicking his little feet to get my attention. So I laughed, and he giggled. Then I heard a voice, and man came walking into the room and saying "I'm coming to take my son so mama can get some rest." I laughed and scooped the precious baby boy up in my arms and handed him over to the man. The baby cooed, the man smiled at him; then he leaned down, kissed me and turned to walk out of the room. The scent of Paco Rabanne lingered in the air. He looked rugged, wearing a white t-shirt, and his hair was jet black and curly. He was bare feet. He reminded me of WC.

If you believe God the way I do, you believe that nothing exist without purpose. You also believe that names tell us who we are and/or who we are to become.

Now that I know the meaning and origin of my name, from today moving forward, I will embrace who I'm meant to be.

Kareena is righteous. Spotless. Virtuous. Love. My love is not a curse, it's a gift.

A series where I take one step every day in the direction of my soul in order to find my purpose. The leap from looking perfect on social media, to being raw and honest is a wide one, but the funny thing about being vulnerable, is that you really you are not alone. And so It seems, I am one of a bucket full of people who feel somewhat unfulfilled in not reaching their full potential. But in the search for my purpose, I feel more purposeful already. I’m still walking in the dark, but I’m walking forward, and that has already brought me a vastness of joy. 

For day 2, I decided to ask my followers for some guidance on how I, and they, could find their purpose, and it turns out that, honestly, nobody really knows. We are all just winging it. A generation of people who haven’t got a clue, teaching another generation how to be clueless. This is why, in my opinion, we as a society know more about crime than we do about resilience; more about being busy than we do about setting boundaries; more about the alghorithms than we know about how to prepare for our futures; more about problems than solutions, complaints than compassion. We know more about an online strangers daily routine than we know about our own bodies. For millennium, the blind have been leading the blind. It’s about time we all learn how to see. 

What I have realised through understanding that nobody really has their shit together, is that people are looking for purpose, passion, satisfaction, in all the wrong places. People wait for more money to be happy, but I can tell you from experience that bank notes don’t have the ability to cradle you to joy. People wait for a lover to bring them life, acting like a small half to one whole. But listen, people can only meet you at the capacity you can meet yourself. People wait for some external recognition to finally validate themselves. If you can’t shout your own name with absolute pride then no-one is ever going to see you the way you deserve to be seen. 

I think our purposes are stored somewhere within us. Our heart, maybe? Our mind? The hands of our soul? I think it’s revealed to us when we stop looking outside of us; when we take intentional steps into the arms of it; when we are open and ready to claim it. 

We just have to take that one step.

Take a step towards health.

Take a step towards wealth.

Take a step towards love. 

Take a step towards life. 

Take a step towards kindness. 

Take a step towards joy.

Take a long, wide step towards you. 

In a clueless world where everyone is just winging it, we need someone like you to take that step. It calves a deep path for others to follow. All the world needs is one small stroke, in this really big sea.