#findingcarson

Logan baby <3

Its moving day and Carson does not want to leave. 

It was just then that Carson stumbled in. “mama!” He said in excitement, running to me as I grabbed in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry baby.” I spoke to Carson and it was then that Colt walked in. “Yeah?” he asked staring at me from the door way. I shook my head yes in confirmation as tear filled my eyes. “I’m sorry.....”

i watched colt as he walked out the door with a grin ear to ear. Was he happy about my potential pregnancy or was he hiding his fear behind the smile. Getting pregnant could risk so much. It could make me traceable… i was frightened our love made us so careless… so careless we could be putting our whole family at risk, including an innocent unborn babe … the monster always said he’d make sure if never have another mans baby. That id die alone… is this what he meant??? I thought after the last attack he sent on me, it’d be impossible from all the damage to my stomach and ovaries…. i just don’t know how to process this… i guess ill just have to wait and see. .

Once again I drifted off but I remembered being awake for a moment or so and it was dark but i was too tired, I almost immediate fell back. A few hours later I woke up to the car stationary. I stretched my arms and looked around it was now light. The car was off and Colt was not in the car anymore. i began to panic. I reached over to his door to seeing it was cracked and I ran out my door. As soon as I steeped out of the car Colt walked over to me. 

I looked at colton with his eyes closed. His lifted head, invited me in, his lips looked so soft and i was nearly close enough to feel his warm breath against my skin. There were so many thoughts running through my head but i knew just one thing would clear my mind, It was the only thing that I knew would make things completely clear. so i leaned into him, do close i could smell his sweet cologne. The air from each breath he took, i could feel hitting my face which made it even harder to resist. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes, leaning in as close as i could as our lips met. I could feel butterflies in my stomach, it took me back. To a time where theyre were no complications….everything was just…easy. but now… everything’s complicated but if there’s something im sure about this is something i cant do with out. Ive had to compromise, and sacrifice a lot through the years but being with colton is not something im not willing to give up. After a long, but passionate kiss i slowly let go and lent back waiting for coltons reaction. Colton stared at me for a moment and then he stood up and i was so scared what he was going to say or do. He walked over to the bedroom door and frightened of his words i slowly stood up and followed. He looked to me and opened his mouth like he was going to speak and suddenly turned away. Then he turned around back towards me and grabbed me firmly kissing me passionately. His fingers ran up my back as they ventures up my shirt. I instantly could feel sparks run up my back. At that moment i knew this is where i wanted to be. With him.

Valentines day, its bitter sweet. Chocolates and flowers. A dozen roses or just one? Candle light dinners and romance. These are all the things we all know and appreciate for the holiday, but what is it really? A holiday for chocolate? A holiday for woman? Everyone has a different light on it, but for me…this year is totally different. Its a appreciation day, like a second thanksgiving. A day for me to absorb the last two months. My baby boy is now two. He growing so fast, hes healthy, gaining weight and hes happy. I’m happy. When I first got him he was sheltered. He was reserved about everything. Barely ate, barely played. Now he loves to play, he loves to cuddle, talking finally. His favorite things are to cuddle with momma every single night before bed and he loves to play car with Colt. Its his favorite part of the day. They play cars every single day, right after lunch. Hes opening up to Colt and it warms my heart to see their relationship build, to see my sons personality shine through, to watch him grow into a beautiful person its an experience only a parent could feel. My son is my whole entire world and I wouldn’t change a thing about it.

Suddenly a pound at the door prevails. Peyon jumps, covering her ears rocking back and forth. “Open up! We know your in there!” A male voice screams with anger on the other side of the front door. Colton stares to Peyon frightened tears filling her bruised , tired face. Peyton leans froward and Colt places his hand on her arm and whispers, “We’re leaving. I have a safe place for you two. Go get him and his things and quick.” Peyton quietly gets up the stairs grabbing Carson and his diaper bag and goes to the back door, strapping sleeping Carson into his seat. “I think they left.” Colt whispers. “We have to get out there and get there quick. Grabs my hand and Carson and stay close. We have to get in the car as fast as possible. I’m going to get in the front with his bag and you’ll get in the back with Carson so you can secure him in as fast as you can as while I drive away. Are you ready?” Colt asks as he places his hand on the knob. Peyton looks to Colt trying to smile and nods.