#finding themselves

If it resonates it is what it is …

He likes ppl who chase him, make him feel wanted. He has options and swears he has none. He wants commitment but dips out when he feels pressure instead of being consistent and showing up. He feels guilt and remorse but not enough to change his behaviors. He likes his freedom, but keeps you on a string just to still have that control over you. He can’t communicate because he can’t be held accountable. So he’s an avoidant. This isn’t a man, this is someone who is unhealed and is fighting a million demons. Someone who is broken. Someone who wants to change so bad but resisting out of familiarity. This man cannot show up for anyone not even himself. He can barely look himself in the mirror. This man has body dysmorphia. Heavy energy surrounded by drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. He’ll reach out but just enough to make sure he still has his foot in the door. Spirit is saying this isn’t a love that last it’s a love that brings a lesson. He’s also not choosing healing at this moment. He also is afraid of losing you but here’s something spirit wants you to remember you were never lost, this is a mirror that triggers an unhealed wound in you. I’m hearing, boundaries, discernment and taking back your power. Once he try’s to circle the block, becuz he will. Youll have chosen yourself. He’ll grow up one day but atm he has a lot of inner child wounds and past traumas that have nothing to do with you. Self worth is 🔑. I’m also hearing, don’t look back. Blessings.

~arson 🔥

Okay

I'm going to get really specific here, and you can blame the artist in me for it. It's a tie between these three colors

Canary yellow - a bright cheerful color, full of life, joy and energy. Always present to be the light in the darkness, whether from a light bulb or the Big O that is the sun,

A sharp color I use to describe characters that are positive and love to take in every single bit of life,

Azure blue - a tone of blue that's as gentle and calm like the ocean, but can be as unpredictable and wild as the ocean.

A color I use to describe a character that's unpredictable, wild, yet can be dead-serious and calm.

And violet - a color of royalty. A color that's so weirdly beautiful and it just feels like its not supposed to be real,

A color I use frequently for mystic/fantasy-esque art, for light, and the dark night sky painting over it with stars

I associate this color with characters that are quite private and mysterious in a way, a character that enjoys being alone and learning about the things they enjoy, and a curious character

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                If anyone tells you they found themselves, they’re lying. Or maybe lying is a harsh word. 

                They just don’t know any better.

                You see, they didn’t actually find themselves like keys that slid into the couch through the cushions.  You know why? Because there isn’t anything to find in there.  They didn’t find anything because there is no Self to find.  If you need to paint a picture, think of your mind (not your brain) like an amorphous blob, going in and out of reality.

                Our minds are not anchored.  We are not tethered by our personality. Have you tried to change your personality – and failed? Guess what?

You didn’t try hard enough.

We are boats, bobbing in place on a rough sea – rootless.  Rootless because the water beneath us is never the same.  The water is our mind, the boats our body.

To a captain, it matters not where they are, but where they are going.

It doesn’t matter where you at, it matters where you’re going.

Those people did not simply find themselves by meditating upon it – they moved and they mastered, fought demons through endless dungeons, and came out tattered and bruised until the final treasure chest at the end of the road.

And found that it was empty.

They didn’t find themselves by looking.  They found themselves by fighting.  They didn’t find themselves.