#finding community

I made a zine with collage at a local zine class! They explored making them and also the history of zine making. I’ve already been making more😅

Socializing is going and being around strangers. Remembering you’re not the only human in the world. Maybe small talk will happen, but mostly it’s like going to a store, riding the metro, walking around a busy park. That sort of thing fills a human need (but can also be overwhelming to some).

Now community is going to an event and interacting with others on a more surface level. This encompasses acquaintances, gym buddies, co workers, etc. You connect with another person and/or a group without exposing what’s underneath your armor. You bond with shared interests or general topics but don’t get into the nitty gritty of your life and state of being. This fills a different human need of connection but lacks intimacy.

Since reading Stone Butch Blues at the start of this year,

Since following a bunch of they/them, he/him, she/they/he, nonbinary, trans, butch lesbians on here,

And watching a few interviews by Lynn Breedlove of Tribe 8,

I just feel like home, people like me exist, and people like me have existed for a while! I don't have to debate my identity with anyone, I just *am* some queer, gender-weird butch dyke 🌈

I started on Tumblr back in 2016 or 17 thinking I would hang out a while and move on LOL BUT here we are in 2023.

I live near Cedar Rapids and not far from Iowa CIty.

I would suggest you join or volunteer for a gay pride committee or some other similar event planning group. There is a fairly active PFLAG in Cedar Rapids ( I was president for many years until last spring). Even my rural county has an upstart pride now.

Check the meetup app for lesbian book clubs or coffee chats (or which ever letter the the LGBT you connect with) I'll default to lesbian in my asks because I can LOL

There is a gay bar in IC and CR if you like drag but they do offer some dancing. In college towns there are often a woman's resource group and they will be heavily lesbian populated.

There is a "Lesbians of Iowa" and "Queer women of Iowa" facebook page and they are both active. Both groups often have in person event and meetups like dinner, concerts and camping etc.

A pull from my deck, because visual interest.

This one is for both @adverbian and @voluptatiscausa because good lord do y’all really get me to put what I learned in therapy through its paces lol. In the best ways possible of course! Saturday morning coffee thoughts.

Let’s talk about online spaces, finding community, and productive ways of working through things.

The internet is vast. The cosmos, but in digital form. It is also, so very, very small. We somehow took the inimitable and unquantifiable collection of humanity’s existence, stirred in some programming, and created community. Through art and storytelling and the sharing of self, we find people from all over the world and can say “oh, there you are”. We find shared experiences and new perspectives. Dovetailing interests and wonderful new knowledge. There’s so much talent out there. So much brilliance. We gather around our digital cafe table and share peices of ourselves. Commiseration, absolution, acceptance. We get to look at another human being and tell them “I see you”. We get to be seen in return. The load is lighter, and healing is easier when the work is shared. The act of extending grace and acceptance towards others makes it easier to do so for yourself in the end.

For me that looks like writing, spending time in that online space with other writers, finding inspiration their work, or them finding inspiration in mine. It’s an intimate and vulnerable thing. You take a piece of yourself and reframe it around a story, a piece of poetry, some meta-analysis of another work. You hold it out and hope that someone sees an echo of their own experience. It’s cathartic and healthy and you’re constantly learning new things about yourself and other people. Sometimes it hurts, because it’s a wound that hasn’t healed yet and admitting it to yourself, showing that to others is frightening. But you can’t heal in the dark. So you write about it, and turn on the light.