#finals meme

seriously though that sea monster thing has happened twice now

You hoard food. You carry maps. You leave your shoes on all the time, even in the bath.

You have not slept for weeks. No one has slept for weeks.

Everyone is fashionably late. No one is fashionable. Someone is wearing a hairshirt.

You are separated into groups with names in dead languages. You drink from a communal barrel. 

People go without clothing as a result of archaic rituals. 

After a week of icebreakers, everyone knows your name, your major, and a fun fact about you. They know too much.

You bought your textbook used. You ignore the writing in the margins.

Poetry 101 is in Latin.

Everything is in Comic Sans.

In the library, a stranger asks you to guard their stuff from other strangers.

Someone is sitting in your unassigned seat.

Someone is screaming in the hallway. “What are they celebrating?” you ask your roommate, even though you both know that no one is celebrating.

Netflix asks, “Are you still watching?” The answer is yes. The answer is always yes.

The college radio station plays numbers read on a loop. You ask someone why, and they tell you that there is no college radio station. Radio is obsolete. 

The bulletin board is always full of flyers. One day, there are only two flyers. The cafeteria has been closed by the health department until further notice, one says. Missing, the other says. The next day, there are no flyers. Paper is obsolete.

Due to budget cuts, every professor must teach two classes at once. The football stadium grows larger.

You look at the clock. It is five minutes before you last looked at it. It is always five minutes before you last looked at the clock.

Someone is standing in the football stadium. They are too tall to be human. 

It’s just a basketball player. What is it doing in the football stadium?

The girl who sits in front of you in Gen Ecology is watching Parks and Rec. She finishes the first two seasons. You are still in Gen Ecology. She finishes all seven seasons. You are still in Gen Ecology.

Nobody has seen Chad for five days. Another Chad takes his place.

me, doing homework because I thought the reason everyone was quiet was because this was a study period: the what

the teacher: the final. we’re taking the final.

me: