#fiminism

"Those are just husbands, I am Evelyn Hugo ."

This is the one line that demanded my full attention . And this one line that I heard in some trailer stuck to me . After Harry Potter , I had made it a point to not see movies that has been based on books. You missed a lot of things . You missed the emotions , the depth of the character , the little actions and what they mean to the plot , and the plot twists . God, I love reading fiction!

This was the first book I picked up after my horrible marriage and even more grueling divorce . This year took its toll on me . All my life , I was just going with the flow . But now I realize how important it is to be intentional with it . I don't exactly know why I picked up this book. I knew I hated egoistic men , mostly every man around me , I knew I hated how unfair patriarchy was and how hard my life is due to patriarchy . It's not the same with women and men .

I hated that . And the first page that I read had 2 lines , "For Lilah , Smash the patriarchy , sweetheart " . You know that grabbed me by my flesh and I flipped through the pages and started reading it. It was the first time I've been reading something and I felt the pure joy and excitement and nervousness all at the same time . I loved reading this book . Can't you tell ?

The things that this book imprinted on my soul healed me from the heaviness that I put on myself during this period of divorce . It was hard. It was sad . Then I wanted to make myself better . After all I had fought for my freedom. I had embarrassed myself and I just deserved redemption more than anyone I know . And so I started to try to atleast get myself a better mindset . I tried to make it a kind one , princess core , lover girl softie core . But no . That's something that is too vulnerable in this world I discovered j had 3 parts to me . An innocent person , childlike , craving safety , a more mature creative intellectual person , wanting success and admiration , and the baddie , she will hurt you and cut any and every cords with you if you ever mess with the other two . The baddie doesn't come out often only I'm traumatic situation and then the other 2 just shuts down . She takes over . And she gets shit done .

After reading this novel , I realized that not only should I depend on the baddie side more I should celebrate her . I thought she was "survival mode " . I don't know why I felt bad hor having her . I admired her audacity but she will be hated my everyone to be honest but she actually never cares . She says things but her eyes says a different story . If she says thank you and gives you a dead look it means..

" you did help me . But leave now " . She said things with directness that her parents criticized her for. She was not the crowd favorite but she got things done . This novel helped me to embrace her and to trust in her and to love her . She is the reason I am here . And she is the reason why I will survive anything life throws at me . I call her Rosie. Rosie is so much similar to Evelyn Hugo. She is a go getter . Does what she has to do . And gets what she wants and when she wants it . Being pretty has never helped only gave more troubles. In a patriarchal society that benefits men and makes him think every pretty thing is entitled to him . I repent men . I refuse to believe it . Even Evelyn Hugo lost faith in humanity. And she loved about 60 years before me . She would absolutely hate everything now and to be honest I do not blame her .

I felt a little sad when I learned Evelyn hugo is a fictional character. But I think the stories and the lore that made this fictional character were so relatable and realistic that I will not be surprised if later this was all based on true story .but she got me a little closer to myself.

Men are men . Society is society. It's a world full of takers preying on givers . So I should live by Evelyn's word " You will wrangle the very best out of this world " . So should you .

Evelyn hugo , Maryln Monroe .. coincidence? I think not .