#fillis

Five-year old Iris sat cuddled on the couch with Ellis, curled up with a book. She was going through books at an alarming rate - Chloe had never gotten to be old enough to read, and Galen had never much been interested - but just this week, Iris had blown through Silly Bunnies, Ava Brown Goes to the Fair, and Big Kids Clean Their Rooms - Can You? They were having to pull from other towns' pools of kids' books to keep her happy. It was a lot.

It was awesome.

Iris finished the last page of her picture book, closed it, and set it on the couch with a sigh. She looked over at Ellis, eyes wandering over the tattoo that peeked out beneath Ellis's sleeve. It was old, faded, a little blown out. Iris leaned over and touched it with one tiny fingertip.

"Mama?" she said. "What's this?"

"Oh," Ellis said, running their fingers over it. "It's, um... it's my tattoo. For... for Galen and Chloe. And... Christopher."

Iris wrinkled her nose and tilted her head, pantomiming deep thought. She looked just like Finn when she did that. "Who are they?" she said. "Are they, are they coming to Laporte?"

She knew all about strangers. Every stranger she'd ever met was a refugee, like she was. Of course she would assume that. Of course. Ellis's throat flooded with that old, familiar pain. It was a little lessened with time, but it never faded.

Not with Galen. Not with Chloe.

"No, baby," they said. "They were... um..." A tear slipped from Ellis's eye and ran down their cheek.

Iris's eyes went wide. They flooded with tears, and her lip began to tremble. Another tear ran down Ellis cheek, and Iris began to sob softly.

"Hey, bug," Ellis said, nudging her. "Why are you crying?"

Iris shook her head and buried her face in Ellis neck, shoulders heaving in that sad way children cry at this age. Ellis wrapped her up tight and cradled her.

"It's okay, bug," Ellis squeaked through a closing throat.

"Wh-why are y-you crying, mo-ommy?" Iris hiccoughed.

"Because I'm sad." Ellis wiped their eyes. Iris was already catching her breath. "Because... I had other babies, before. I loved them very much. But they died, and now sometimes I'm sad."

At this, Iris wailed. Ellis pulled her into their lap, rocking her back and forth. They cradled her hot, sweaty little body as she sobbed, and Ellis cried into her hair, murmuring softly. Her little arms were tight around Ellis's neck. Ellis didn't ever want to let go.

"B-because of... the symbicates?" Iris lisped, grasping at the only explanation she had. Of course Ellis had told her about the dangers that lay to the south - the dangers that they heard less and less of, as the years went by and more people fought back. But of course Iris knew - in the ways the family knew how to tell her - that everyone she loved had been hurt by people she had never met and never would. Of course she knew. But not about this.

Maybe this was too much. Maybe this was too young.

"They... died?" she murmured. Ellis could feel her tears soaking their shoulder. "Did you have more babies with daddy?"

"No, bug," Ellis said. "It was with another daddy. I loved him very much, but he died, too. Because of the syndicates."

"Nooo," Iris whimpered. "No, mommy."

Ellis could feel her shaking. They carefully disentangled themself and held her little face between their hands. "Hey, baby," they said, staring into those eyes that looked exactly like Finn's. "Listen to me. It's okay to be sad. But you're safe, okay? You remember what I told you before, right? Those scary things happened before, but they won't happen now. They won't happen here. The syndicates aren't here. Your daddy and I love you. Auntie Vera and Uncle Isaac and Uncle Gavin wouldn't let the syndicates come. Remember? Why do we live in Laporte?"

"B-because our... communinny... keeps us safe," Iris said in a shaky voice. Her face was red and patchy.

"Yeah." They smoothed her auburn hair. Just like her father. Fuck, she really was a copy of both of them at the same time. "Daddy's finishing up with Kali's arm, and then they'll be home, yeah? Do you want to sit between us on the couch? You can tell us about your book."

Her nose wrinkled. Finn again. Fuck. "It wasn't very, um, very good," she said. "She had to go to school. There was someone mean there."

Ellis's lips twisted. "Then you can tell us about your favorite one from this week."

Apparently Iris didn't want to wait for Finn; she slid off the couch and went to her room. "It's um, it's about a dog. The dog has to go..." She wandered into her bedroom, still talking.