#fili xreader

It felt wrong in some ways, like he had no right to feel the way he did for you. Yet, Kili wasn't oblivious to your feelings for him. You had told him yourself and had given him time to accept or reject you. He never gave you a real answer, but instead got engaged to someone else. You didn't blame him. You knew how important finding their "One" was to a dwarf, but Fili knew you were still hurt by it.

When Kili and Tauriel stood to dance, you let out a sigh. Tauriel looked a little uncomfortable, but smiled regardless and Kili only had eyes for the she-elf. That was too much for you. You got up slowly and quietly, trying not to draw attention to yourself. Fili hated seeing you like this.

"Would you care to dance, Y/N?" he asked. He expected you to decline, really he did, but it was his way of telling you that you weren't alone. That he was there at least as friend. That was all he could hope for from you. You looked to the floor and Fili gently used his fingers to tip your chin back up. "Hey, you don’t have to. If you'd like, we can grab some mead and head outside. I know you like it out there." You gave him a smile as tears began to well in your eyes. "I'd like that," you whispered. Fili dropped his hand and grabbed two tankards of mead before leading you outside.

Under the stars, you seemed to breathe a little bit easier which made Fili happy. He hated seeing you so tense and upset. Fili handed you one of the tankards before sinking down to the ground. You took a moment before doing the same. Without even thinking, you leaned your head on Fili's shoulder, breaking his heart a little bit more.

"I'm happy for him," you whispered. Fili laughed lightly and shook his head, ruffling your hair a bit. "No you aren't. You don't have to lie to me." A soft sigh escaped your lips. "I am happy he found his One, Fili. I just wish he'd have given my feelings some thought before just suddenly deciding to marry her. He could have said anything, but he didn't. Am I not worthy of at least that much?"

"He's an idiot. His One is important, of course, but you are too. He doesn't deserve your heart or your tears, Amrâlimê." You stiffened hearing the term of endearment fall so easily from his lips. You sat up and Fili swore in Khuzdul under his breath.

"What did you call me?" you asked even though you knew exactly what he'd called you. Another curse slipped from Fili. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I truly am." Your brows furrowed and you asked him why he'd called you that. Fili let out a groan as he raked a hand over his face. "Fi?"

"Because I love you," his whispered answer hit your ears like the loudest horn you'd ever heard. Fili took a shaky breath before continuing, "I said nothing because I saw how you felt about Kili. You are worth far more that what he's done to do. You do not have to say anything. Your heart is broken and you are hurting."

"What do you want from me?" you asked. "Nothing. I want nothing from you. I know better than to expect anything. I simply needed you to know that you are more than worthy of a real love that Kili would not and now cannot give you. I needed you to know that you are not alone. I am here for you, whether you ever return my affections or not."

You shot up from you spot, mead spilling onto the grass beneath your feet. "I-I can't do this right now." You didn't give him a chance to say anything in his defense, not that he could have. You simply ran back inside, probably to your chambers. Fili brought his knees up and rested his elbows on them. He placed his head in his hands. He cursed himself for being so stupid. Now he was certain you would absolutely never return his love and it was all his fault. But even with that thought crushing his heart, he knew that he would wait for you.