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the annoying thing is that dying sounds so restful but it's useless for my purposes actually because you never get to wake up and make use of being rested so what's the point. wasting my wistfulness. i shan't be wilfully dying anytime soon
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maam even if you think ten year olds shouldn't get to decide their whole schedule and shit they should still be treated like they have agency in their lives. like encourage them to make choices and shit. do you think they'll jump right from being docile little yesmen to being adults that can meaningfully navigate their lives? that requires the skill of making choices, you know?
they'd be lucky if they become rebellious and intractable instead.
honestly i like thrax because i got that maladaptive coping mechanism in my own life and i gotta treat it with care and thank it for protecting me at the time and gently try to let it grow into something new and non-sabotaging as well
blorbo-ing him helps me to remember that i want to be kind to myself; yet that i don't owe participation to panic from any source.
me and my knife that twists inside me my wound that never heals #myknifewound
mold spot. on my fairly new water bottle silicone part. i was away for BARELY A WEEK.
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never kill yourself to oh shit what do i do now pipeline
as a probable ace but maybe not aro it's nicer to read the romance fics with competent dutybound fools, because those suckers keep their eyes on the prize: everyone getting outta there alive and looking good doing it. im like yesss drive the narrative with the attachment instead of sucking face (nothin wrong with sucking face, it's just not to my taste in reading)
it's like, im gonna tear my skin off. i want to do things. i want to do specific things, even. i continue to sit here and NOT DO THINGS. im gonna tear my skin off. that's not the thing i want to do btw that's just how I feel. im not actually tearing my skin off i just feel restricted. by me. im going to start screaming.
