#figtreetea

There are many reasons I don’t understand a lot of the dominant cultural models of what a relationship looks like, but for sure one of them is that if you’re weird about your partner finding any other humans aesthetically pleasing then you miss out on the chance to see them be thirsty about other people with bodies/traits/etc. like yours and like why would you want to miss out on that?

Hot tip: have a friend who expresses the concern that they are Too Much? Are they indeed A Lot? Instead of (kindly, with the best of intentions) lying to them and being like “nooooo, you’re a perfectly normal amount,” consider instead expressing that you enjoy their muchness! For extra bonus points, if you notice that they’re being A Lot in a particular way at a particular time and you’re enjoying it, share that with them!

No one is ever going to be able to tell me anything about how I can’t just be stubborn and want things my way again because the girlfriend who showed up out of nowhere (after refusing to use apps or settle for relationships with people who weren’t interesting but liked me and insisting that my person would just organically show up when it was Meant) and I just planned our second in-person date and it’s to a nonsense tourist trap I’ve never been able to get someone else to join me in attending and she’s at least as excited about it as I am.

Look, I am not generally a “kids these days” kind of academic, I actively spend time with other faculty often saying things like “no, I became a professor because I like college-aged humans” when they spout some bullshit about how we’re all in academia because we care about our research and are just trapped with these students, and I am the very first person when things go sideways to look for how I as the person in charge misstepped to let it happen. But here, in this wint’ry grading season,