#fig.doc

skeppy is made of diamond but him and bad hold hands so often that eventually the shape of bad’s hand is worn into skeppy’s hand. whenever they’re apart and skeppy misses bad, he traces the outline of it on his palm

the erosion technically makes the diamonds imperfect due to their changing shape. skeppy can grow/retract diamonds at will, so he could get rid of the imprint at any time, but he chooses not to bc its a permanent piece of bad that he can take with him

when skeppy becomes red, however, the outline disappears, as the egg makes him “perfect.” bad spends days straight holding skeppy’s hand to try and bring it back, to no avail.

the unique thing about bad is that at his core, his motivating factor and number-one value is love. bad does what is best for bad, and he does what is best for skeppy. he doesn’t particularly care about the greater good on a deep level. it didn’t truly matter before, because his goals often aligned with what at least one side wanted, and getting overly involved was often detrimental to him, and nothing happening on the smp threatened this value of love. caring more about himself and skeppy than other things happening around him protected him from suffering in all the wars prior. but it makes him the easiest pawn to manipulate for the egg - a parasite that preys on the heart’s desire of its victims, directly controlling what bad values most. 

(disclaimer: a lot of “religious” talk ahead but know that good omens is religious satire and none of this is serious)

(disclaimer 2: i’m a fan of the good omens book, radio series, and tv series, but i’m a bit more knowledgeable about the book/radio canon so if there r any inconsistencies that is why)

now, your first instinct may be to put bad as aziraphale and skeppy as crowley cause of their personalities, but personally, i think it’s more interesting to go according to dsmp canon where bad is a demon:

skeppy as aziraphale, an angel tasked with serving humanity, praised for his work on earth - secretly has a mischievous and hedonistic streak a mile wide. significantly less “nice” than he seems on paper in his 90% bs reports. head office (heaven) is distant, giving him freer rein than bad. owns a bookshop but refuses to sell any books and will make active efforts to kick people out if they try. was the original guardian of the eastern gate of the garden of eden, but gave his flaming sword away to eve, effectively creating the concept of war.

badboyhalo as crowley, a demon with a penchant for good alcohol and a soft spot for humans despite his orders to cause misery on earth. likes to play minor pranks (shutting down cell lines in the city, gluing coins to the ground) but really, really hates having to actually hurt people. can transform into a snake at will, and was the serpent in eden who gave eve the apple, granting humanity its free will. uses his snake form to help skeppy scare people out of the bookshop.

the two met in the garden and were enemies at first (opposing sides or whatever 🙄). they spent a lot of time throughout early history trying to trip each other up, as they were both stationed on earth as the go-betweens between earth and their respective sides

they realized that they were basically cancelling each other’s good/evil influence out and the same effect could be achieved by not doing anything at all so they became business partners in the early 1000s AD

they often switch assignments, get drunk together in the back room of skeppy’s bookstore, and feed ducks in the nearby park.

in the 2000s, bad is tasked with switching out the antichrist for a regular baby at a hospital and that’s how he finds out that the apocalypse is coming.

the two accidentally spend 11 years raising who they THINK is the antichrist (sapnap) but is actually just some random kid.... they get attached anyways

in the process they end up working together a lot more frequently and realize just how much they value each other along the way <3

and regardless of how you assign az/crow:

sapnap as warlock - bad and skeppy think he’s the antichrist, and raise him trying to ensure he isn’t good/evil enough to tip the scales in favor of either side. however, due to a mix-up at the hospital where warlock was born, sapnap is just a completely normal boy, albeit a bit more destructive than most.

dream as adam - the actual antichrist with reality-warping powers. as he grows, he struggles against his infernal heritage calling for him to destroy humanity; but in the end, it isn’t heaven or hell that convinces him to stop the apocalypse, but his human nature.

puffy as anathema device - a witch raised on prophecy, with full knowledge of the impending apocalypse who befriends dream and ends up joining forces with skeppy and bad