#fiendeck

Had he been moping - was it that obvious? He thought - he’d get better at hiding it. How much being back - pretending that everything was normal hurt him.  It was like everyone was acting like he hadn’t hurt them - well almost everyone - Sy.  He didn’t deserve him - or any of his friends really. 

@fiendeck​​  wrote  :   ‘  If I can’t be the best,  I sure as hell can be the worst.  ’

obsidian eyes reflect like sunbathed  gemstones  as she catches his attention,  sculpted brows raising  subtly  enough,  though one lowers curiously,  a nonverbal  challenge  to her statement.  he  knows  she isn’t talking about dueling   —   the school’s rankings speak for themselves,  even if they aren’t exactly  infallible.  it could just be him  projecting  his own problems onto her,  but manjoume likes to think he can tell,  for the  most  part,  when something is said in shades of self-loathing.  he isn’t entirely sure how to respond,  his mind  scrambled  with options,  none of which seem quite right.  

to the best of his memory,  seiko had always omitted a  bleak  energy,  especially toward members of manjoume’s own dorm,  but in more recent times,  her bearings have seemed  brighter,  even if not exactly  blithe.  it’s not a story of which he knows the ins   &   outs,  but he’s  observant  enough to be able to tell the difference    —   but not  naive  enough to believe sentiments such as those she’s just expressed can be so easily overcome.  he knows better based on both intellect and  experience,  especially.

about a  thousand  sarcastic    &   snide remarks reel through his brain,  as per usual,  but he keeps them to himself,  for once.  perhaps it’s because her words touch a  nerve  or two within him,  even if he isn’t  entirely  keen on conveying that information perceptibly.  no,  he opts for an  incredulous  huff,  to lean back in his seat with eyes fixed on the library ceiling,  with words carefully chosen,  but not presented as such.  “  i can think of  at least  ten duelists worse than you,  fujioka,  so i think you’ve still got some work to do,  if that’s your goal.  ”

obviously,  that’s not what this is about.  when his eyes do meet hers,  once more,  they  divulge  that he knows that.  but it’s an unspoken  (  and yet ironically,  spoken   )  invitation to familiarity,  to  comfort;  a chance to recover from a moment’s weakness  unscathed,   if that’s what she desires.  it’s  solidarity.

Syrus paused. One leg in the trash can - the other in the pile of garbage he had pulled out of the can in his rush to hide.  He’d been caught. Now he’d have to find another hiding place - but this one had been so good.  

“but  -Sam.”    jaden  frowned  from  across  the  table.  why  were  all  his  friends  like  this!  first  chazz..now  sam.    if  they  got  their  way  he’d  never  speak  a  word  again  -  and  that  would  be  a  tragedy.  he  had  things  to  say!   

silence yourself or i will do it for you jaden

“I like the way you think - but consider god third. skating second. duelling takin’ place as number one.Sunday mornings afternoons are used for rearranging my deck but - ”

@fiendeck​​  wrote  :    ‘  🤷  ’

🤷  :    did they ever ruin something they couldn’t have out of spite?

shockingly,  no!!  but he  thinks  about doing that kind of thing sometimes,  lmao.  

when he was younger,  he probably would have been more keen to actually  act  on any feelings of intense  envy  like that,  but there were rarely any occasions that brought that side of him out.  he didn’t have much to be envious about,  honestly;  he was one of the top duelists in the school   &   a lot of his peers admired him,  he was doing pretty well for himself even if his home life was a mess,  so he was kind of just straight chillin’  until he lost to judai that first time.  jun is a very honourable duelist,  though,  because dueling is something he takes  very  seriously,  and though he was temporarily derailed by his consuming desire to always win  (  which i could  (  and do  )  argue comes from the incessant  pressure  his brothers always put on him   &   his need to prove himself to his family  ),  he would never  actually  sabotage a duel  *side-eyes the anime*  because he’s conscious enough to understand that he wouldn’t  gain  anything out of that,  and it would just make him feel  worse  because it wasn’t a victory he earned.

other than that,  later on he gets jealous of  someone  (  we all know who  )  who gets particularly close with judai,  but he’s mature enough by that point that he wouldn’t  actually  do anything to come between their friendship.  he just kind of acts like an asshole,  which i mean,  is to be expected vjhdvdvf.  like i mentioned before,  though,  jun is the kind of person to come up with an elaborate scheme to sabotage someone in his mind   &   then never actually do it because he’s a softie   &   would feel bad.