#ficswithlove

            “Hey, I think that girl’s been staring at our way for three hours now. Are you sure I’m not supposed to go help her out?”

            Seokjin turns around to face his assistant and he hates that he’s able to see that girl from his peripheral. Seokjin shakes his head and turns back to the new books he’s been putting on the database, “I’m sure, Jungkook. Go back to work.”

            “Are you really sure? I think she’s the type who’s too shy to ask for help and instead, hopes to send a telepathic message by burning holes on our heads.”

            “I’m sure, Jungkook,” Seokjin repeats with a sigh. “Now why don’t you try working on that next book instead of stalling?”

            “I’m not stalling—”

            “Hello. I want to borrow this book.”

            Seokjin looks up from his counter. The girl stands in front of him, staring straight into his eyes as she pushes the book his way.

          Natural bust enlargement with total mind power: How to use the other 90% of your mind to increase the size of your breasts by Donald Wilson.

            Seokjin looks back at his work and sighs, “Jungkook, get this.”

            Jungkook picks up the book. He must have been taken aback as he looks at Seokjin, confused.

          Seokjin closes his eyes and waves him off. “Don’t even ask. Just do the usual.”

            “Okay,” Jungkook says. “Uh, ma’am, please write your name here. Okay, so Ms. Y/N L/N, you’re gonna return this—wait, you’ve been borrowing this book for three weeks?

            “Yes. Why?”

            “U-um, n-nothing. Just curious. It only has 141 pages and you’re not, um, finished yet?”

            “Well, I want to learn more about how to mind control my breasts to make them bigger.”

            “Uhh…”

            “Alright,” Seokjin stands up and nudges Jungkook away. “Ms. Y/N L/N, you’ll need to return this book five days from now, on March 23rd.” Seokjin slams his date stamp on the paper. “If you fail to return this book on time, we’ll have to charge you $1 for every day past the due date. And if the copy gets destroyed or lost, we’ll also have to charge you. Understood?”

            “Yep.”

            “Now, that will be $17.”

            Y/N places the money on the counter and heads for the door. But she doesn’t leave without sending one last stare into Seokjin’s way.

            Seokjin plops back down on his seat and clicks his tongue. “She didn’t read the book again.”

            Jungkook rolls his chair next to him and asks “Aren’t you being judgmental? Maybe she’s just a slow reader.”

            “No, she does not read it. The author didn’t mean literal mind control as she said. The book is about conditioning your mindset to a more positive view of your body image.”

            Jungkook looks at him with his forehead scrunched, “Wait, you’ve read that book?”

            Seokjin’s lips turn into a frown and he rolls his chair away from his assistant. “Don’t even ask.”

            When Seokjin first met Y/N L/N, he was convinced that she’d be the type of customer he’d hate the most. The type that comes in, picks a book, stays for god knows long, and leaves without borrowing anything. She used to do this back when she first came to his shop within its first week of opening. She kept the tradition strong for a solid month, and Seokjin was convinced that some highschoolers noticed her behavior and attempted to use his shop as their new hangout spot. He’s glad his shop was getting packed as the days went on. It’s just a different story when a hoard of teens started flocking around his shop without renting anything and prevented actual renters from entering his shop. Seokjin had to put up “No loitering” and “Maximum of 3 hours stay” signs on his windows to end this money-ripping tactic once and for all. 

          That didn’t seem to stop Y/N, though, as she would still come to his shop to pick a book to read right in front of his face without ever renting it. This time, however, she made sure to follow the three hours maximum to avoid getting called out. This went on for another week until Seokjin decided he had to talk with her about this. That didn’t end as well as he had hoped, as Y/N just looked at him straight in the eye and left immediately after he got his last word out. 

          Seokjin remembers getting so embarrassed at how he unknowingly did a monologue to a single-person audience. He wasn’t left mulling over it for long as Y/N came back the next day and actually began to rent a book. She still stays the three hours max limit most of the days but she doesn’t let a week pass without renting a book. She also manages to lower her ‘miser’ type level to the ‘weird borrower’ level in Seokjin’s annoyance scale. Having a customer with a renting history surrounding the most ridiculous-sounding books is much better than having them rent none at all. 

          Albeit, that’s a bit of a stretch, too, as Seokjin finds out that Y/N’s not exactly the weird borrower type, but the weird borrower who comes again on time just to rent the same book for weeks. And she doesn’t even read them. Seokjin confirms it one night when Y/N came to his shop a minutes-breadth away from the closing time.

          “Wait!” Y/N screams, running towards the shop.

          Seokjin stops pulling down the metal gate to give her a glare, “I’m already closing, L/N. Come back tomorrow.”

          “But I have to borrow something!”

          “Oh no you don’t—”

          It’s too late though, as Y/N slips under Seokjin's elbow and pushes the unlocked glass door open.

          Hearing his bell on the counter ring for consecutive times from the incessant taps of the infamous L/N, Seokjin knows he’s already lost the fight. He sighs as he makes his way back to the counter.

          “What do you want?”

          “This,” Y/N smiles. 

          The Beginner’s Guide to Sex in the Afterlife by David Staume.

          Seokjin eyes her as he picks up the book, “This again? You’re still not done reading 164 pages after, what, two months?”

          Y/N gulps as she clasps her hands in front of her, “Well, um, I still don’t get how people engage in sexual intercourse in the afterlife.”

          Seokjin decides not to reply and continues to do his job.

          “If they believe in a god. Or gods. Wouldn’t they worry about their god seeing them do...lewd stuff?”

          Seokjin feels his right eye start to twitch.

          “Unless...their god is a sex god?”

          Seokjin closes the book louder than necessary. He pins Y/N with a glare. “Look, Y/N. This book is about sexual energy transcending material life and even moving to the astral world. Just like how people pass away. What made you think that this book was about literally having sex in the afterlife?”

          Y/N looks at him with wide eyes, “You read the book?”

          Seokjin scowls. “Don’t turn this on me. We’re talking about you. Why do you keep borrowing books you don’t even read?” 

          Y/N looks at him then back at her clasped hands. “You don’t have to know,” she mutters under her breath, taking Seokjin by shock when she slams the payment on the counter and leans over to stamp the renting slip with the due date herself.

          Seokjin tries to call after her retreating figure by the door. “Wait, I didn’t even tell you the—”

          “Yeah, $1 for each day after the due date and you’re gonna charge my card if I destroy the book,” Y/N yells over her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m gonna come back on time!”

          Seokjin pales in his seat. Her announcement sounded like a death sentence.

          He wishes he wasn’t so easily bothered at the slightest of things Y/N said. He wishes he didn’t spend too much time deciphering a way to stop her. Most of all, he wishes he didn’t become too intrigued by her to the point he’s started to care about what she’s actually doing.

          And Seokjin hates it. He hates how he stresses himself reading the books Y/N borrows. He hates how he wastes his time trying to re-arrange the books in the shelves just so Y/N would start picking books with titles that actually made sense (which he learned is futile as Y/N had a penchant for finding weird books around his shop whenever and wherever). And, Seokjin hates how he basically studied her long enough to memorize her pattern. Long enough to realize that underneath all that weird borrowing behavior, Y/N just comes to his shop to stare at him. Moreover, Seokjin hates how he confirmed it with a friend.

          “Y/N must be making you quite busy, no?” Jimin asks over a mug of coffee.

          “You know her?” Seokjin asks in disbelief.

          “Yeah,” Jimin nods, “I’m friends with her. I consulted their animation company for the ad I told you I was making for Books to Tell. She was the one who assisted me and we just clicked. Especially after I learned that she’s also friends with Namjoon.”

          Seokjin’s eyes go wide, “She’s also friends with Namjoon?!”

          “Yeah, they kinda knew each other in college. Why are you so shocked? You were in the same major as Namjoon. You could have seen her with him around uni.”

          “Uh, no, I didn’t.”

          Jimin rubs his chin and shrugs, “Well, it’s a small world then. So, how is she? I actually told her to go visit your shop when you first opened.”

          Seokjin chokes on his coffee and Jimin hurries to pat his back. “God, why are you like this today? Is something wrong—"

          “How come you’re just telling me all of this now?!” Seokjin cuts his friend with a glare, making Jimin jolt in surprise.

          “W-what? Was I supposed to tell you about this earlier?”

          “Yes! Y/N’s been annoying me for four months now!”

          “I…didn’t know about that,” Jimin steps back and sits in his chair. “I just told her to take a look at your shop and she said ‘okay.’ She didn’t say anything after that so I figured it left her mind. I didn’t know she was a regular in your shop. She just brought it up again yesterday when she told me how…” Jimin zips his lips and shrugs.

          “How what?”

          “...how she likes your face.”

          Seokjin chokes again. This time on his own spit. He should have seen this coming. He was long aware that some of his renters only went into his shop to get a look at his face. Even if he had to suffer through the tedious cycle of rejecting their queries for his number and offers of coffee, some of them ended up as his regulars. Seokjin didn’t mind. Money is money after all. He just didn’t expect Y/N to be like them after all the months he spent trying to decode her actual intentions.

          Seokjin tried to brush Y/N off just like he did with the previous renters. Although she hasn’t pulled off anything yet, Seokjin believes it’s better to set things straight before it happens. The sooner he ends this, the faster he’ll find his peace again.

          Seokjin hired his neighbor, Jungkook, who’s been bugging him for a part-time job for so long and made him his assistant. He entrusted him with entertaining the customers so Seokjin wouldn’t have to deal with Y/N bugging him anymore. And like always, that plan goes down the drain because Y/N always, always ends up in front of Seokjin even when he’s countlessly told her to go to Jungkook.

          Seokjin’s tired of stressing over her so he forces himself to ignore her and the ridiculous books she borrows. But even that proves to be hard when Y/N hasn’t even done anything untoward but to stare at him from time to time. And give him a headache with the books she borrows like The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America by Julian Montague, 50 Sad Chairs by Bill Keaggu, and Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich by James Yannes. For after all the progress he thought he’s put in, Seokjin still finds himself reading these books all because of a goddamn curiosity he couldn’t put down.

          It becomes harder when Namjoon and his friends pick up Seokjin’s weird setup with Y/N. And mutual friends being the annoying mutual friends they are, Namjoon and the gang begins to invite him and Y/N to hangout.

          “Why is she here?” Seokjin mutters to Namjoon the moment he sees their table.

          “Who?”

          “You know who.”

          “Oh, Y/N,” Namjoon prolongs the syllable as if her name is the most amazing thing ever. Seokjin grimaces. “Why? You got a problem with her?”

          “No,” Seokjin instantly denies. “I’m just asking why you invited her. It used to be just us for so long.”

          “Yeah, it’s always been just us that’s why it became boring.”

          “Boring?”

          “Yeah, I’m getting tired of your face,” Namjoon chuckles, stepping ahead of Seokjin. “Besides, what’s wrong with adding a new friend? Y/N is cool.”

          Oh hell yeah, Y/N is cool. She beams at Seokjin like she always does as if their legs weren’t just casually touching after their friends made it a point to choose a cramped barbecue restaurant and sit the two of them next to each other.

          “So Seokjin, I heard you and Y/N are getting close,” Namjoon starts and Hoseok hoots in support.

          Jimin, being as annoying as ever decides to ride in too. “Yeah, why don’t you tell us how you met.”

          “I was doing my business and Y/N just rented a book. That is all,” Seokjin says dismissively as he grabs his shot glass and downs the gin in one go.

          “Are you sure, that’s all, Seokjin?” Rose leans forward, grinning, “Maybe you’re hiding something from us.”

          “I’m not—”

          “He’s not hiding anything. That’s true.”

          The table pauses as all eyes dart to Y/N. A wave of self-consciousness washes over her and she directs her focus back on her clasped hands on the table, “S-Seokjin’s right. I just rent books from him.”

          Seokjin glances at Y/N then back at his drink. It’s the first time she actually addressed him that night after engaging animatedly with Namjoon, Jimin, and Rose for the past hour. The table nods slowly and Seokjin guesses they’re already about to drop the subject. Seokjin’s lips tug in a small smile. Maybe tonight’s not gonna go as bad as he initially thought.

          However, Jungkook,  being the ever-living oblivious fuck that he, must’ve not gotten the memo, decides to stir up the subject again.

          “No, I don’t think so. Seokjin and Y/N do have something going on. I catch Y/N constantly looking his way and Seokjin for some reason, knows every single weird-ass book Y/N borrows.”

          Seokjin’s lips part in shock. Jeon Jungkook did not just give him away like that. “Of course, I’ll know those books. I bought them to rent them to people. That’s my business!”

          Jungkook blinks. “But you know every single detail about them.”

          The table goes silent. It doesn’t last very long, though, as Rose and Jimin break into simultaneous laughter while Namjoon repeatedly slaps his thigh. Hoseok shoots, “Oh my god, you must’ve kept on buying books with weird titles just to keep Y/N borrowing!”

          “What? I did not!” Seokjin yells but his voice is lost in the sea of laughter and teasing. Seeing as there’s no hope in making his friends stop anytime soon, Seokjin decides to lean on his seat and cross his arms in silence. His friends are going to jump onto another topic eventually. Looking at his empty plate, his eyes glance at the person who’s equally quiet next to him.

          Y/N is busy fiddling with the seams of her jacket. She looks up from time to time to their friends to wave off their playful jibes at her with a laugh.

          Seokjin feels an annoyance prick on his skin. His friends invited him over just to tease him. Seokjin is sure it’s only him because he’s the only one who’s gotten frustrated over this debacle while Y/N sits chill beside him. Y/N doesn’t even break a sweat laughing with the others as if she hasn’t been bothering him for months now. Seokjin swears he’s gonna decline the next time his friends invite him again. Or at least try to, because he’s gullible to their promises of “Hey, they’re giving out free drinks. Free is free!”

          It’s the same as that one fateful night.

            Seokjin stops in his tracks and grabs Hoseok by the shoulder. “Why is she here again?”

            “Who?”

            “Y/N.”

            Hoseok raises a brow, “Why do you keep asking this question when you already know the answer?”

            “I don’t,” Seokjin shakes his head. “I don’t know why you keep inviting her whenever I decide to join you guys.”

            “Oh, don’t be such a grump. Y/N’s our friend, too.”

          Feeling Seokjin still in his spot, Hoseok turns around and sighs, “Hey, we only see each other ‘bout twice a month, you know. Let’s have some fun, okay?”

          Seokjin should have known Hoseok’s definition of ‘fun’ is far from his as he sits across Y/N in the restaurant. All their friends out of sight.

          Hoseok started a game after dinner where everyone had to draw a piece of paper from the cup being passed around. The partners would then have to leave together in a form of a friendly date. It’s similar to seven minutes in heaven but messed up because instead of seven minutes together, they had to spend the rest of the night with the person they’ll end up picking.

          Seokjin should have known that this was all planned when Namjoon oh so coincidentally pulled Rose, who everyone knows he’s been secretly crushing on. Meanwhile, Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook obviously ended up drawing each other’s name just to purposely get Namjoon and Rose together. And well…him and Y/N together. Seokjin sighs as he stands up. He just had to get this done and over as quickly as he possibly could.

          “Look, Y/N—”

          “I know a good place near here.”

          Seokjin halts. He looks at the girl who’s already looking up at him with wide eyes. "There's a cafe down the block and I heard it's really nice."

          "Uhh, that sounds amazing. I guess. Look, Y/N-"

          "They let you play with board games and borrow books, too."

          Seokjin scratches his head, "Uhh, I don't know about that, Y/N. I haven't had the time to check them out yet...I mean...if those cafes are good...or bad," Seokjin internally cringes at his words. Making believable excuses was never really his forte.

          "Oh, it's good!" Y/N smiles, “I’ve tried it before and I had a really good time."

          "Uhh-"

          "It's really good. You can trust me on this.”

          “No, I can’t,” Seokjin says before he could think about it and he immediately feels the guilt pang in his heart when he sees Y/N’s eyes drop to her feet

          “That’s…okay. I'm sorry. I just wanted to make up for the days, and uh, nights I probably made you uncomfortable. I thought, maybe you'd enjoy having a few drinks at the cafe since I always see you with a to-go cup on your counter."

          Seokjin looks at her with surprise written on his face and Y/N flushes. "Sorry. I tend to observe... stuff. I’m sorry," she repeats again, voice dripping with remorse.

          Seokjin bites his lip. He didn’t mean to make her sad. He just wants to…run away from her. The reason? Well…Seokjin doesn’t exactly know why. Maybe it had to do with the feeling that nagged at him since the night started. The feeling that something may happen tonight that he wouldn’t like. He tends to prioritize his disposition because more often than not, his gut feeling has saved him countless times from unnecessary drama and unpleasantries. But for tonight, Seokjin decides to shake them off. It wouldn’t hurt to take up Y/N’s offer, right? It’s just some coffee.

             “Okay. Um, I forgive you.”

             “You do?” Y/N perks up, lips curving up again.

             Seokjin looks away, “Yeah. I think I’m being difficult, too. I’m sorry if I also made you uncomfortable.”

             Y/N waves her hands, “Oh no, don’t apologize. You don’t make me uncomfortable. Far from it, actually.”

             Seokjin doesn’t know what to say to that so he clears his throat, “Okay, so...let’s go to the cafe?”

             “Sure,” Y/N grins.

             It feels weird to walk side by side with Y/N when he’s gotten used to having a counter between them. It’s even weirder that he actually enjoyed their time together inside the cafe. The cakes were delicious, the coffee was amazing, and the books and board games were a wonderful addition. Seokjin didn’t know he'd actually have fun playing scrabble against Y/N.

             “I can’t believe I lost again!”

             Seokjin chuckles at her, “That’s because you kept using short words.”

             Well, it really is fun when he’s winning.

             Y/N pushes the game to the side, “I don’t want to play scrabble anymore.”

             “That’s okay,” Seokjin chuckles, “I can find another game I’m sure to win again.”

             The two of them fall in a comfortable silence. It’s the first time Seokjin felt this way around Y/N. For all the months she came to his shop, he did nothing but be forever on his toes around her.

             “You know...I really like your face.”

             Or maybe not. Seokjin tenses up in his seat.

             Y/N puts her hands up, “Oh, I didn’t mean it like, in a bad way. I mean, I like your face. It’s so...expressive.”

             Seokjin looks at her, confused. Expressive?

             “You’ve asked me before about why I keep on borrowing books I don’t even read and I told you that you didn’t have to know. It seems right to tell you the reason behind it now..” Y/N fiddles with her hands, “Since you’re now paying attention to me.”

             Seokjin knows this isn’t true but he doesn’t say anything.

             “You see...I’ve been fumbling around my work for so long. Well, it’s more like a personal project for now. I’ve been meaning to pitch in the idea of a lighthearted romcom series to my department. I just wanted to have a solid draft first so I could at least let them see my vision. I’m pretty bad with words. I need things to be spelled out completely and I don’t think I can do it with this one so I will have to get the drawings complete instead,” Y/N scratches her head. “I want this pitch to have a solid chance. I’ve been working on it for almost three years now. I just can’t seem to finish it because I didn’t know what to do with my lead male. Until I heard about you from Jimin.”

             “Me?” Seokjin points to himself.

             “Yeah. You have this look in your face that just exudes…greatness. It’s like you’re telling me...‘I’m a star.’”

             “Huh?”

             “What I mean is, your expressions are perfect for a leading guy!” Y/N squeals, “Oh my god, I just found the right words.”

             Seokjin laughs nervously, “Y/N, just so you know, you’re not making any sense right now.”

             Y/N cautiously fixes herself again, “Uh, what I’m trying to say is, you have this aesthetic around you that’s just perfect for the male lead I am envisioning. It’s easy for you to make various expressions that stretch from annoyance to glee and beyond. I’m really surprised at how well you could do that. If you think about it, you can be an actor if you’d like. You’re even handsome.”

             Seokjin flushes at the sudden compliment.

             Y/N continues, “And that’s that. You became my muse and I kept visiting for inspiration because I obviously couldn’t take pictures without your permission. That’s illegal.”

             Seokjin should be appalled. He’s never met a person before who said such...things aloud in the open as if they’re just talking about the weather. But here he is, looking at Y/N, and feeling at peace. Maybe it had to do with him finally getting the answers he’s been looking for for months.

             “Well, you should have just told me from the start. I wouldn’t have been...too weirded out by you.”

             “Yeah, I’m sorry. My bad,” Y/N softly laughs.

             “I thought you’re purposely messing with me with the way you pick the weirdest titles from my shop.”

             Y/N awkwardly shrugs, “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.”

             Seokjin chuckles but halts. Why does Y/N bother to pick the weirdest titles when she can just pick from the hundreds of normal-looking books he has? She won’t even read them anyway.

             Seokjin clears his throat, “Um, Y/N, why do you always borrow the weird-looking titles?”

             Y/N’s eyes grow wide. She darts her eyes at her lap, “Uhh, I just, uh, do.”

             Seokjin isn’t convinced. No one spends time finding the weirdest of books in a shop ‘just because they do.’ Seokjin feels the familiar itch of his curiosity. He needs to know why. Only then will he probably stop finding a pattern in the ridiculous-titled books Y/N borrows.

             “Okay, you can keep doing your...inspiration thing.”

             “What?”

             “I’m not angry about what you said. You don’t have to worry. Everyone has their own inspiration. You can keep coming to my shop. After all, you’re my regular renter.”

             Y/N’s smile immediately grows into a grin, “Okay. Thank you, Seokjin.”

             Seokjin feels his chest lighten with satisfaction. But at the same time, he can’t deny the feeling that he’s probably signed himself up to something he’s unprepared for. He presses his lips together. His gut feeling was right. He doesn’t like this night.

          Seokjin confirms this when tomorrow comes as well as the following days. Y/N comes in like usual in the afternoon, maxes her three hours, and finds a book with a weird title to rent. Nothing had changed much except now, Seokjin had to see her stare at him openly and not behind a book, as she intermittently looked towards his counter then back to her sketchpad. He regrets having ever welcomed Y/N because now he thinks he’s the one who’s weird for feeling his heart pound in delight whenever Y/N looks at him.

          Seokjin hates what he’s become. He hates how he simultaneously dislikes and likes Y/N’s presence in his shop. He likes how Y/N has begun using her three hours to tell him another story from work. He likes how she makes him laugh even when her jokes don’t make any sense. He likes how easy it is for him to tell her his own stories—his dreams, his fears, his past relationships. He could even say the most ridiculous musings he ever had without feeling ashamed of it because Y/N understands. But at the same time, he can’t help but dislike how he’s started to constantly wait for her return in his shop. He hates how he instantly feels so down when he realizes Y/N won’t be able to make it to his shop. He dislikes how he finds himself oversharing stuff without feeling any guilt when all his life, he made it sure not to say to let people know too much. The more they know, the easier it is for them to inflict hurt. Because they know what part is gonna hurt the most. And so, Seokjin tells Y/N everything other than the things he feels about her. The things he really wishes to say.

          All his life, Seokjin has always anticipated seeing how things will end up. Because he knows he’s right. And he always almost is. He knows that this relationship he has with Y/N is purely transactional. Y/N just kept coming because she needs someone who’ll give her inspiration. Seokjin knows if he ever lets his feelings out, he’ll only end up breaking his own heart. He knows how this will end and yet he can’t but wish he isn’t always right. Now, he sits fearfully in anticipation of the day Y/N stops her visits as soon as she finishes what she started coming to his shop for.

          Turns out, Seokjin didn’t have to wait very long. Because on one Thursday morning, he finds a copy of Y/N's final draft on his counter and no presence of the girl. Y/N doesn't appear during the following week. Or the week after that.

          "What do I do?" Seokjin mumbles. He covers his face with his hands as he slumps on Jimin’s dining table. The rain thundering outside fits his current mood so well. Seokjin hates it.

          "Well, you shouldn't have been so hostile to her from the start," Jimin says with crossed arms.

          "Don't you think I already know that? I've already played through all the different things that could’ve happened if I didn't pick on her borrowing habit."

          "It's not that," Namjoon says. "We meant how you usually react when we invite her over to our hangouts."

          "Yeah, you always look so stiff next to Y/N even after we set you guys up on a date," Jungkook remarks. "Anyone would have looked at you and would’ve commented on how uncomfortable you looked right next to her."

          It's true. He felt uncomfortable whenever he sat beside Y/N. In his defense, it no longer felt like the uncomfort he felt when they had first met. This feeling of uncomfort felt different, it’s brought by the heat that fills his body when Y/N's leg brushes against his.

          And it didn't help that earlier that day, Y/N pulled quite a stunt on him.

          "Hey, you have something on your hair," Y/N points at his head. But before he could pick it up on his own, Y/N had already leaned over the counter and picked it away for him. She came so close that Seokjin could clearly see how long her lashes actually were and how pink and soft her lips looked. He feels his Adam's apple bob up and down.

          "There," she smiles, "All handsome again."

          Seokjin feels heat rush to his ears as he looks away.

          Seokjin looks at Jungkook, “Well, I can’t control how I feel. You know how bad I act when I’m not okay.”

          “So you’re not okay being by her side in public but you’re okay when you guys are alone?” Jungkook eyes him, “Don’t you dare deny it because I saw you guys getting chummy across the counter.

          Seokjin gulps. He knows what Jungkook is talking about. He didn’t know where and when but somewhere along the way, he and Y/N started to blur any nuance of personal space around each other. He just found it natural to tuck her hair behind her ear when it falls on her face as she draws. He found it natural to let his fingers brush on Y/N’s own as he grabs a book from the upper shelf for her.

          “You must have been watching too many romantic movies.”

          “Why?”

          “You’re really acting like a main lead now. You’re making me feel as if I’m the female lead.”

          Seokjin freezes and tears his eyes away from Y/N. He pulls the book and unceremoniously pushes it to her. “Here’s your book,” he mutters before walking back to his counter.

          “Hey, don’t just leave me here!”

          And Seokjin found it natural to let his actions do the talking for him instead.

          “Do you trust me?” Y/N asks as she looks up at him. “I already made you look good on paper. What more if we go to this amusement park together?”

          “I don’t trust you,” Seokjin says but his hand grips on hers tighter. 

          “Of course, I’d feel better when we’re alone,” Seokjin grunts as he grabs his coffee, “Who would want to see two people touching each other in public? Not to say people who engage in PDA too many times will eventually break up since the pressure from the public-”

          “We’re not telling you to engage in PDA,” Namjoon cuts him. “What we’re trying to say is that, why do you refuse to act on your feelings?

          “Yeah,” Jimin seconds, “It’s obvious that you like her. You wouldn’t keep on buying weird books and reading what Y/N borrows just to check if Y/N will indeed read it. You wouldn’t keep asking me if she’s alright at work whenever she doesn’t show up or leave you any messages under the pretense of ‘ensuring she wouldn’t come to your shop to disturb you’. You keep asking me because you’re worried about her. You keep buying her weird books because you’re happy seeing her smile happily about them. You keep welcoming Y/N into the shop even when you hate getting distracted because you like her!. It’s so obvious! Why can’t you say it?!”

          “Because I know how this thing between us will end. What we have is purely temporary. Y/N came in to find a muse and that’s that. She comes to my rental shop just to finish her project. Y/N never intended to stay long, and I made sure she didn’t. I knew she was leaving the moment she finished. If I said I liked her then, it would’ve only made us awkward and I would’ve ended up absolutely miserable.”

          “Well, she already did leave,” Namjoon deadpans. 

          “And you didn’t say anything but you’re still miserable,” Jungkook says.

          Seokjin closes his eyes and nods. He’s fully aware that Y/N is gone, but it’s not like he can act like nothing happened. It was his fault, after all. “Yeah, I know now. I’m stupid. I’ll just have to deal with it on my own and move on.”

          “You don’t have to deal with it on your own.”

          Seokjin jolts at the familiar voice. He turns around and finds the very person he’s been missing for weeks. Y/N. With the deep bags under her eyes and her hair all mussed up, she looks far from Seokjin’s type. But she’s still the most beautiful person he’s ever seen in his life. 

          “Okay, I guess this is our cue to go.”

          Seokjin whips his head to Jimin, his eyes wide, “You planned this?”

          “Obviously. It looks like you still needed a little push after the last stunt we pulled. Jungkook, stand up from your goddamn seat.”

          Y/N stays in her spot until their three friends leave them alone. Seokjin looks at his feet as shame and self-consciousness mingle in an unsettling mix in his stomach. Y/N is here and he must look like the stupidest idiot in the world right now.

          “Did you mean it when you said you liked me?

          “Yes,” Seokjin sighs.

          “Then why didn’t you say so from the start?” Y/N says in a soft voice. “You kept blocking my advances. I was trying to let you know that I liked you, too.”

          “You like me, too?” Seokjin asks, shocked and confused.

          “Of course! Did you really think I just picked weird books out for fun? Okay, I did have a lot of fun picking them — but the point is, I did all of them to get your attention!!! For god’s sake, did you think I sat through your lecture on divine afterlife intercourse “just because”? No!! Okay,” Y/N closes her eyes, I first went to your shop for inspiration. But that all changes when I started liking you. You’re just so hardworking and smart and even if you’re grumpy on bad days, you actually care so much. I just want to stand out at least a bit so you could see me, too. And just when I thought I had finally succeeded when you agreed to let me draw your face, you started giving me mixed signals. You’d come near me and touch my hand and would let it go right when I started to talk about it. You’d act so affectionate then say the exact opposite. Do you know how bad it hurts when I ask you if you’d trust me—even when I sound like I’m joking—and all you’d ever answer is ‘no’?”

          “I thought...you already knew the answer.”

          “No, I don’t, Seokjin. I told you I’m bad with words. I need things to be spelled out. I-”

          “Y/N, I trust you. I thought you figured it out already when I told you everything about my life.” Seokjin looks at his hand, “But it turns out it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry we had to take the long route like this because I couldn’t say what I really wanted.

          “And what is it?”

          “You.”

          Y/N flushes at his sudden confession. The surprise in her eyes morphs into a satisfied glint as Y/N’s lips curve into a soft smile. “It’s okay. You have me now,” She steps into his arms and Seokjin immediately engulfs her in his embrace. For the very first time in his life, he doesn’t anticipate anything. His mind doesn’t conjure any endings. All he could think of is how he wants to prolong this moment as much as he can. Seokjin smiles into her neck as he tightens her hold on her. This must be what it feels like to be finally at peace.

          “So you like me now, huh?” he feels Y/N murmur at his chest.

          “Yeah.”

          “And you trust me now?”

          “2000%” Seokjin grins.

          “Good. I’ve been wanting to try out something that I read.”

          “Oh, so you’ve finally read something,” Seokjin chuckles by her ear.

          Y/N giggles, “Yeah. I wanted to do it right this time for this book.”

          “What book?”

          “Edward Jaye’s The Cookie Sutra.”

          “What?”

          “Cookies and Kama Sutra.”

A/N pt. 2: Hello my dear @sophrosinn. Happy birthday! First of all, I love you. I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH. AND MY LOVE FOR YOU CANNOT BE CAPTURED ENOUGH BY THESE WORDS. You’ve been with me for four years of my life and I couldn’t believe it’s just four years when it feels like I’ve been living my whole life with you. Yeah, you made a super large mark in my life and I couldn’t imagine what my life would have been if I didn’t meet you. You’ve helped me out in so many difficult times of my life. Through all the shits and slumps I had in school, in my family, and in my writing journey, you’ve stayed with me throughout all of those things. Gave me the advices I needed to hear. You’re still here, helping me heal from the pain I’ve suffered and still suffering. You’ve always been a rock of support in my life, @sophrosinn, and I wouldn’t have come this far if it weren’t you. When I look at you, I still wonder how life managed to let me meet such an astoundingly wonderful person like you are. These days have been tough but I hope you know you don’t have to suffer through it alone. I and @senfleurs will always be here to hear you rant, listen to your basog moments, and help you lighten your load as much as we can. Whenever life brings you down, I hope you always remember I will be here for you to give you an ear that will listen to you, to give you a shoulder you could cry on. I want to also be your rock of support you could always go to without hesitation just like you’ve always been for me. So Happy happy birthday my dear best girl! You have gotten a year older today but don’t worry, you’re not gonna be alone. I and @senfleurs will be by your side as we grow old with you! Here’s to more amazing years! I love you!

P.S. Yes, this fic is inspired by this reddit post you sent to us.

I just changed it up a bit bc my mind went blank when I first drafted the “we’re married” concept. Hope you like it, anyway! I tried writing both your serious and quirky sides through Seokjin and the OC!

P.P.S. I’m sorry I couldn’t get this fic out much earlier. My writing slump is still as bad as it can be but oof, I managed to get it out just before August 11 ends! I hope the wordcount and the feels and laughs make up for that   > u <

Cold hard ground greeted you as you woke up, your head pounding as you struggled to regain a grasp on what was happening. You looked around, shocked to be in a dark bedroom, clothes and random things haphazardly thrown around as if whoever lived here was too busy to properly clean up. You were not in your bedroom anymore but where you were was another question. You had started to visit your soulmate through astral projection less than a month ago, always seeing them asleep. It didn't matter when you were roughly pulled into the astral plane. Unlike what you have read about the astral soulbond, you couldn't touch or interact with the world around you and you didn't even know if your soulmate knew that you visited him. You were sure that he visited you every once in a while because you often found stuff in your dorm cleaned up or food made or little notes written when you didn't do any of that. You don't know why your astral projecting was so different but for one reason or another, it was.

You looked down at him, sound asleep and wrapped tightly in his blankets. You felt relaxed just looking at him resting. From what you had gathered in the few times you had visited, he was a very busy man, often traveling and sleeping into ungodly hours when possible. You wished you could reach out and touch him and make sure that he was properly taking care of himself but you couldn’t. You couldn't touch anything. All you could do was watch over him until you left the astral realm.

The man sighed in his sleep and turned onto his back, revealing his face to you. This was the first time that you had gotten a proper look at him as he adjusted to being sleeping right in the way of a moonbeam. His bed head was messier than the few other times you had seen it and the small bit of drool that was drying against his cheek showed just how deeply he must be sleeping. If it was someone else, you might have thought that he looked messy but you had never felt that way towards him. A charm came with him that you couldn't get passed and there was some part of you that wanted to get under the covers with him and relax. You would most likely fall through the bed to the floor though. Turning around, you slowly walked around his room, the whole room looked like a messy gamer den, with lights strung on the walls and a pile of clothes on another bed that looked somewhat like a human.

When you first astral projected to your soulmate you were so confused. Not only was it disorienting to suddenly be in a different place, but you couldn't interact with anything. You tried many things but none of them worked and simply left you with more than a couple bruises. Now you were used to the feeling of being a spectator in your soulmate's life. It wasn't fun and you wish you could remind him to take care of himself like he does to you but you could take what you could.

A soft whine made you turn around and look over at your soulmate once again. His brows were furrowed now, another whine leaving his lips as he tossed in the bed. Before your eyes, he seemed to get more and more anxious and scared, his teeth even coming out and biting his lip aggressively. Worry flooded you. Was he having a nightmare? Was something wrong? You didn’t know what to do but you knew that you wanted to help him out as best as you could. With a slow step forwards, you knelt down next to his bed. You couldn’t touch him while projecting but if maybe he could sense you there with him, his nightmare might subside.

“I am right here baby. Please just relax.” You whispered, hoping that he could somehow hear you.

You doubted that he could but it was clear something was happening in your soulmate’s sleep because he was tossing and turning more and more. His sheets quickly tangling around his legs as he moved more and more aggressively, sweat now glistening on his body. You tried to reach out and untangle the sheets but as you expected, your hand simply fell through them and landed on your side once again. You watched in worry as your soulmate kept struggling and fretting, his face twisted more and more stressed. Your heart twisted, you were here for him. You have been with him from the beginning of this nightmare but there was nothing you could do for him. You can’t touch him. You can’t comfort him.

Fruitlessly, you reached your hand out to try and touch his face, the faint hope that he could possibly sense you. Your hand would pass through him no matter what.

Shockingly, it connected with his face and you felt his soft skin against your rough palm. You sat there, your hand on his face and an agape mouth for a minute or so. Shock wrecking your system. In all that you had read about your soul bond, this would never happen. You shouldn’t interact while in the astral realm. The most you ever saw of him when he was watching over you was a small reflection of him and even then it was fleeting. How were you touching him? How had your hand not just gone through the bed again? Had you somehow been transported here? What was happening?

He was stirring more now, eyelids fluttering, gently moving his mouth. He was waking up. Distantly you thought of moving your hand from his face but you were stuck. He opened his eyes and looked up at you. His eyes were amazing. You could look into them for hours and not get bored. You tried to read his face but it was almost shocking. You opened your mouth to say something, anything but before you could do so, your world went black.

You woke up to your head pounding and your limbs sore from laying in the same spot for a while. You felt like the rug was pulled from under your feet. You had just touched your soulmate. If you hadn't been sent back to your bed, you could be interacting with him right now.

A notification from your phone tore you from your thoughts. You looked at it to see some random account had messaged you on twitter. You opened your app and saw the message:

Each time, you found yourself on the edge of a large meadow, with a blanket, a book, and your meal of choice. Taehyung would watch you from a bench across the field, pretending to be reading a book of his own. His gaze would softly trace over the curve of your body, as his hand mindlessly turned the pages.

You had to be the most beautiful person he had ever seen. You were all at once sweet and sexy, and your choice in literature only fueled his fantasies of making you read while his hands were under your skirt. And your skirts- don't even get him started on your skirts. They weren't short like the ones girls at the club would wear, but they did show off enough of your leg to give him dangerous thoughts. Even during the cold autumn and winter months, you would wear them with soft pastel tights beneath.

Today your skirt was a pastel blue matched with a cream-colored sweater and a brown jacket. You were quietly munching on a sandwich, while fully engrossed in a thick Dicken's novel. Taehyung shifted in his seat. A soft breeze blew over, a sign that autumn was finally here to stay. Golden brown leaves blanketed the park and he couldn't help the chuckle the escaped his mouth as he watched a gaggle of children jump in a pile.

He wondered if you would want kids. He wanted kids. Five of them. He wondered if you would be okay with that. It was time's like these that Taehyung felt a little gross with himself. He didn't know so much as your name, and here he was questioning whether or not you would be okay baring his children.

He often thought about approaching you, but every time he got close to doing it, his nerves got the better of him. The butterflies in his stomach would turn into vicious crows and he would find himself paralyzed with fear. What would you think of him? Would you find him as attractive as he found you? Would you think he was witty? Worthy of your intellect? What if he said the wrong thing? What if you never wanted to see him again? So he stayed on his side of the field and watched you on yours, so close, but never close enough.

Sure enough, a sprinkle had begun to drizzle down onto the park goers. You stayed for a little while longer before the sprinkle had begun to pick up intensity. Taehyung sighed in disappointment as you packed up your things and made your way out of the field. An ache filled his heart as he watched you go and he silently cursed the weather gods for taking away his time with you. Usually, he would spend the entire afternoon watching you, but today he only got a measly hour.

On the bus ride back to his apartment, he couldn't take his mind off of you. He absent-mindedly stared out the window, watching the drops roll down. All he could picture was your leaving figure, the way your skirt accentuated your hips and ass just right. He let out an internal groan when he felt himself chub up in his pants at the image. He glanced to his left and silently prayed that the sweet old grandma across the aisle from him wouldn't notice the tent in his pants.

It wasn't the first time the thought of you turned him on, not by a long shot. Despite your relatively modest apparel, Taehyung would still find something about you that made him drool. He had lost count of the number of times he had laid in bed with his fist around his cock, trying not to cum too fast to the thought of your pretty pink lips wrapped around him.

By the time he got off the bus, he was at full mast, awkwardly shuffling down the aisle, and avoiding making eye contact with the passengers. He made his way to his apartment door as fast as he could, not even bothering to take his damp coat off as he plopped down on the couch and slipped his hand into his pants.

He hadn't been this hard in a while, he wasn't sure what had triggered him. After giving himself a few quick pumps, he hastily unbuttoned his fly to pull out his now dripping cock. He sighed in relief, throwing his head back while his hand moved at an almost superhuman speed. Images of you flickered through his mind. Your eyes, your hair, your breasts, and your damn skirts flooded his imagination. He didn't even need to picture you naked to bring him to the breaking point. All he needed was the image of you bent over a desk, tights, and panties at your knees while he plowed into you from behind.

And just like that, he was cumming all over his shirt and pants. All he could see was white as he let out an almost animalistic roar. He lay on the couch listless for what felt like an eternity before finally tucking himself in his pants and heading to his room to change. As he lay in bed that night, he vowed to himself that next time, he would talk to you.

Sure enough, Sunday rolled around and he found himself standing by his usual bench next to the field. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to step forward, and before he knew it, he was standing by the edge of your blanket. You looked up at him from the Virginia Woolf novel you were reading, confusion painted across your face. Taehyung almost lost his breath at how striking your eyes were, but he managed to steady himself.

"Hi," he breathed, "I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen."