#ficanon

having to never see Cartman again (to think about how much that'll hurt him, and that settles the vindictive streak inside Kyle, at least a little--it does the same for Stan, he can see it in his eyes). He kisses Stan then, in front of Cartman, in public for the first time and Stan lets him even though he tastes like puke, Stan lets him even though they're not officially out yet, and Stan holds his hand whenever they're together from then on. The end. (#ficanon)

Maru Stansdiction and Sydney Tweekistwat were not ready to hold hands yet. Instead they had their pinky fingers curled around one another, just the tiniest smollest bareliest hint of hand holding. It was cute and adorable in the way Clyde with his hookhand and parrot is--aka cute to their moms and tough to themselves and sorta frightening but also funny to the rest of the world. They also didn't do mouth kisses, but neck kisses. Everyone knows the neck is the ass of the face, after all. #ficanon

that frightens him, that leaves him useless in Stan's bed right now. That's where he spends the night, and he clings to Stan the next day--as he tells Mr Mackey who says "it can't be that bad, mmkay", as he's shepherded into the Principal's office who tells him to "respect Eric's feelings, bro", as Stan drives him to his psychiatrist in Randy's car and the good man calls in help, tells Kyle he'll be safe, and Stan's there when Cartman shoves dirty leaves down the back of Kyle's shirt when they

calm himself enough to get out the words, to get rid of this horrible terrible horrible secret he learned. Stan holds him tightly throughout his story and then hugs Kyle more tightly because he knows, he understands, even if Kyle can see Stan's knuckles turn white with anger--not jealousy, Kyle knows, because Stan knows that every inch of Kyle belongs to him entirely just like Stan belongs to him--but with a frustrated rage, with the failure to notice; it's the same feeling that made Kyle sick,

Kyle doesn't expect to stumble upon a great big pile of vibrant drawings in Cartman's room. They're mostly glittery and all of him, in primary colours along with a nude for skin that doesn't look like it comes in the normal packages of felt-tip pens. There's a LOT of nude, christ. He's fucking Cartman in the drawings, crude and primitive, he's sucking Cartman's dick--and that in itself is enough to make Kyle feel nauseous, to let the tears well up in his eyes. He feels violated--(1/?)

get back, for ignoring him. Stan kicks him first, then Kyle as well--Kenny knows by now, and he remains an innocent bystander in a way; enables them to beat up Cartman in another, until Kyle can't breathe anymore and has to step aside to vomit again because it's too much. He hates it, he hates it, he hates it, and he's made up his mind to kill Cartman when Stan talks him down from his rage with promises of safety (soon, in Stan's arms in Kyle's bed in his locked room) and college (soon) and

not that he didn't before, after all the abuse Cartman's put him through over the past years--but this puts extra weight on all of those situations. Cartman's in love with him. Cartman torments him because he doesn't know how to express his feelings, Cartman--and then Kyle has to leave, dropping the drawings as he stumbles backwards and out of the room, nausea boiling in his stomach as the acid creeps up his throat, as he rushes into the bathroom and retches into the toilet. (2/?)

He tries to be quiet as he throws up into the toilet and flushes right after to get the smell out of his nose. Kyle rinses his mouth at the sink and makes sure there's no gunk on his chin before he realizes he has to go, has to get away right now, right away, has to escape the situation that has his heart hammering in his chest in pure fright. He doesn't respond to Ms Cartman when she asks him why he's leaving so soon, he rubs his fingers off his jeans to try and get the glitter off them, he