#fic analysis

HI guys! I’m back with more fic analysis. This time it’s of Pull Me to the Ground by somethinglikesawyer, or Silver! An excellent fic that we’ll be talking about today. Specifically, the smut and how it relates to consent! Along with some very light literary analysis about character work and pacing. Very light, though, I promise. 

Okay so I haven’t done like, analysis analysis of smut. That’s basically what this is. If you do not want discussions of smut, excerpts of smut, analysis of smut, do not read. Really. 

Also! Discussions of consent ahead. Nothing like graphic descriptions of SA, but obviously if discussing how sometimes people don’t do a great job at consent is an issue for you, do not read. 

Alright! Getting into it. Pull Me to the Ground. Or Bar AU. Or Ryules Rumi AU. Or, the AU that starts with Mira and Zoey picking Rumi up in a bar. And then spending a night with her. This AU poses an interesting scenario: all three girls are into kink, but obviously they don’t know each other’s limits. Silver, the author, does an excellent job of demonstrating the proper way to show consent here. And, I’ve seen some discussions floating around the fandom about consent in different fics, so I figured this was a good fic to go through scene by scene and point out where consent was established, what it was doing, and what good consent looks like in kink. All while getting to talk about a fic I love! Alright. Opening scene. Mira and Zoey have picked Rumi up from a bar. They’ve already been flirting, Zoey was kissing and straddling her on the car ride home. They’ve made it to Mira and Zoey’s house, and things are about to escalate. 

Zoey kisses Rumi up the way to the door, and kisses her once they’re inside. Mira takes over, they kiss some more, Rumi bites Mira’s lip. Everything here is still kissing/grinding, stuff they established in the bar. 

Mira carries Rumi to the bedroom, throws her on the bed, and we get our first interaction to tear apart: “Rumi,” Mira said, all teasing gone as she stared down at her, not touching her yet anywhere, as if she wanted to keep a short distance. “Choose a safeword.”

“Stoplight system,” she said automatically.

Mira nodded. “You got that, Zo?”

A common question people less informed ask is “But establishing consent isn’t hot! I don’t want to ask “is it okay if I touch you” while grinding on someone! That ruins the mood!” Well. Skill issue. Mira does a great job of establishing a safeword while staying attractive and high energy. Notice how this exchange is also short, they don’t take 2k words of the fic to establish this. Short, snappy, attractive. Also take special notice of how Mira checked in that Zoey heard and understood. Zoey then moves onto other topics: 

“Yep!” Zoey, who had followed them in, chirped. She climbed onto the bed to Rumi’s left side, leaning in close but also not touching her, not yet. “Red, yellow, green it is.” A gentle, real smile. “And how do you feel about marks, pretty girl?”

One, listing the stoplight system verbally. This is less for consent and more a clever writing tip. Obviously, Silver doesn’t know how familiar every person reading this is going to be. Saying “Red, yellow, green it is” is less for the character’s benefit and more for the audience’s benefit. But! This line is pulling double duty. Zoey has ADHD. She’s chatty. This is also establishing that Zoey likes to speak her stream of consciousness, since she’s probably thinking internally about the stoplight system now. This check both informed the audience of specifically what the stoplight system is, informed us of Zoey’s thought process, stayed attractive, and further established consent. In. Three. Words! It wasn’t clunky, it wasn't awkward. 

She also begins to establish kink limits, around marks and pain. Standard stuff. Each question is just a few words, along with the response. Once again, consent does not have to be a paragraph of I want statements. Especially for these characters that are established as comfortable in kink. It’s snappy. (This also pulls double duty of keeping the pacing tight. They flirted at the bar, increased intensity with the making out, increased more with the car ride, and now this conversation acts as a short breather before the heavier smut begins. Think about how horror movies often start with a victim dying, slow minutes of ramping tension, then the slashing. Smut is actually quite similar to horror but that’s a convo for another day.) 

After establishing those, I want to point out a small moment. 

“Strap?” Mira questioned next, and Zoey shot the pink-haired woman a look.

Rumi didn’t know them well enough to decode what that look meant, so she just nodded and coughed out a, “Yes. Definite yes.”

This is later revealed that typically during their threesomes Mira takes a backseat, and Zoey leads. This is Mira asking both if Rumi is fine with a strap, but also asking Zoey if she’s fine with it. Hence, the look. This is nonverbal, but still explicit consent. Obviously Mira and Zoey are a lot more familiar with each other, so they communicate through shared glances and expressions. But it’s still consent! 

And, finally. They touch her properly. The consent is established, limits established, and the narrative has had time to breathe. (Rumi has also had time to breathe.) Important to note that the two girls stopped touching Rumi during this. This could be for a few reasons. Giving her a breather, giving her an out. I like to believe it’s to remove pressure. Touching her while asking about what she wants could be taken as them pressuring her to say yes. I like to think that them giving her space is also giving her autonomy to say whatever she needs to. It could be triple duty, though, giving her autonomy, an out, and time to relax slightly. (It could also be time for Mira to enter any headspaces she needs to.) The smut starts proper here. Obviously everything got established, but I want to point out a few cute details. 

“How about you stop complaining and get our girl inside the house already?” Mira tugged on Zoey’s loose hair, coaxing another whine from her throat, and Rumi clenched her thighs together at the sight. Zoey was just so beautiful, and the way she subtly surrendered into Mira’s hands with the slightest lean, as if she didn’t even realize what she was doing, was devastating.

-

Mira glared at her. “You just can’t help but brat, can you? How many times—” she yanked out and pulled at Zoey’s other bun, dislodging the hair band and freeing those dark curls. “—am I going to have to remind you that this isn’t about you? It’s about Rumi.”

Zoey whined into her grip, and Rumi saw the tension seep from her limbs, letting Mira hold up much of her weight by her hair alone.

Two times Mira pulled Zoey’s hair and Zoey leaned into it. Obviously, her leaning into it isn’t required. Some people get really into the scene! But it is confirmation that yes, she’s into it, yes, she’s in control, yes, she wants it. It also characterizes both of them as genuinely caring, which is setup for the aftercare that Rumi is surprised at later. It separates these two in Rumi’s mind from Couple I want to fuck into Couple that is genuinely sweet which I like. 

Anyway, smut, smut. More smut. It’s good! Go read it. I don’t need to play by play this part. Until we get to the Bite of ‘87- 

Joking, joking. You’d think it was that bad based on some community reaction. Sigh. Let’s break it down. It all starts here: 

“You’re a biter,” Mira groused. “And a hypocrite, at that.” She turned back to Rumi and added, “While we’re at it… pain?”

“Yeah,” Rumi agreed, the word catching. She cleared her throat. “Fine by me. But in… in moderation.”

Pain, in moderation. So, after some smut, Mira goes for the pain: 

It turned out to be a ploy, though, because Mira seized the moment of distraction to finally sink her teeth in, biting Rumi on the same spot.

Rumi jerked, only barely managing to stifle a yelp. She turned back to Mira with a glare.

“You’re playing dirty,” Rumi accused.

“How about you stop complaining and just focus on me?” Mira murmured into her chest, before biting her again. It wasn’t a particularly rough bite, but Rumi still stiffened, a small jolt of pain running through her.

Mira was watching her. Studying, eyes flickering over every twitch and grimace. Testing, Rumi realized, to see her reaction to the bite. And where her limit was.

Not to copy/paste Silver’s entire fic, context is just important. Mira bit her moderately roughly once, gauged Rumi’s reaction, and bit again. And then it’s explicitly stated that she is watching Rumi’s reaction, trying to gauge what “Moderate” was for her. This, too, is a form of consent. And Rumi replies: 

It shouldn’t have affected Rumi as much as it did.

Rumi let out a mocking laugh. “You call that a bite?” she scoffed.

It was subtle, but she still caught it when Mira’s jaw ticked.

Zoey giggled again. “Oh, you’re making her mad, Rumi.”

Mira ignored Zoey, instead tilting her head a little to the side, angling herself over one of Rumi’s ribs, and bit her again. Harder, but not hard enough.

I think some people focus on the wrong part here. Zoey saying “Oh, you’re making her mad” isn’t genuine. Mira isn’t biting Rumi because she’s upset. She’s biting Rumi because they’re both into it. Zoey is just fueling the fantasy for all three of them, but Mira obviously isn’t actually mad. See the “but not enough.” Guys, I don’t know if you’ve bit someone. It’s easy to make it hurt. If Mira was really biting her in a rage, Rumi would know. Anyway. Mira bites her again, before moving onto other pastures. The bite hasn’t happened yet. Let’s jump to it. 

Smut, smut, smut. Great smut, by the way. I’ll point out this small moment. 

Mira smoothed over the bite with a consoling lick, flicking the tip of her tongue over her nipple, before moving up to Rumi’s neck. As per Rumi’s request, she didn’t bite or suck hard enough to leave a mark, but she did nibble lightly, as if testing for sensitivity.

Mira doing the bare minimum. But once again, she’s not mad guys. She’s in total control here. 

Anyway. Smut, smut, more smut. Go read it. But then we get to The Bite. 

Mira licked another stripe up Rumi’s abdomen, and then paused, hovering.

And bit down.

And that’s when Rumi learned that Mira had been holding back up until then, because when she bit, she bit hard. Her jaw clamped down, her teeth digging in deep and rough.

Rumi wailed as pain, hot and abrupt, lanced through her. Her body seized in place, like it wasn’t sure whether to pull away or move closer, and she cried out again, loud and guttural.

She felt her skin break beneath Mira’s teeth and keened.

Now, for those of you unaware. Even in kink circles, this isn’t looked upon amazingly. Human teeth are mildly disgusting, and bite wounds are very prone to infection. Some people are into it, generally the consensus is that the risk of infection isn’t worth it. So, what is Mira’s reaction? Did Mira plan this? Is she just hurting Rumi because she wants to? 

And just like that, sheer panic flashed across Mira’s face. Mira drew back abruptly, rushing to pull her fingers out of Rumi, and Zoey removed her hands from her chest like she’d touched a hot stove and no, no, where were they going—

A desperate, choked sound left Rumi. “No wait stay green greengreengreen ple–” Rumi cut herself off just in time before she’d accidentally begged.

So, one, Rumi was way too into it. Two, Mira did not mean to break skin. As soon as she did, she pulled back, and Zoey followed. They immediately stopped and waited for Rumi, to check on her. And then they return to smut, making sure she’s okay. This gets addressed in aftercare, but there’s another moment coming up I want to point out. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Zoey whispered, reaching for a strand of Rumi’s hair that had come loose, tucking it behind her ear. “Would it be okay if I sat on top of you?”

Rumi understood immediately, and she nodded frantically, suddenly desperate for it. Zoey smiled at her warmly before swinging one leg over her head and getting into position. This time, Zoey faced Mira. 

“Tap my leg if it’s too much,” Zoey murmured to Rumi before lowering down. Rumi opened her mouth with an eager whine that would have embarrassed her if she wasn’t so far gone.

Their established consent system, stoplight system, was verbal. Up to this point Rumi’s mouth wasn’t busy enough to need anything. But Zoey wants to ride her face (it’s a very pretty face, understandable) so quickly establishes a new system. Tap if it’s too much. Once again short, snappy. Sweet. No 2k words establishing a new system. 

Anyway. That’s all the consent checks in the smut! Explicitly, anyway. You could argue that every time one of them vocalizes “I’m going to do this” it’s establishing consent, giving an opportunity for Rumi to say no. You could also argue every little whine out of Rumi’s mouth is an answer, but. I think covering the explicit parts is good enough. Aftercare! Once it’s over, Zoey and Mira immediately go into care mode. Specifically: 

Rumi just groaned, and Zoey chuckled. Mira dabbed the gauze at the bite again, and Rumi hissed at the sting of it.

“I know, angel. I’m sorry, but I have to clean it,” Mira said, sounding genuinely apologetic. Rumi quieted down and studied Mira, noticing the creased line between her brows and the careful way she touched Rumi with the gauze, mindful of how it would feel.

Mira is well knowledged in kink, and knows that bite wounds are nasty. She works to make sure Rumi is okay as soon as the scene is over, and apologizes while she’s doing it. They also explicitly pay attention to her, giving her Advil and water. Zoey also does another explicit consent check that everything went fine, and that she’s already. Mira stays busy, and asks once again if Rumi needs anything. Plot about Rumi and her damn rules. Not related to consent so I won’t discuss it. They cuddle, pass out. 

What struck me first, and most forcefully, is the evolution of Henry’s psychological manipulation. Before, he moved like mist—soft, insinuating, almost benevolent in appearance. He let Will speak. He listened. He cloaked himself in neutrality, in generalities, planting seeds of doubt so delicately that they seemed to sprout from Will’s own soil. He did not push; he suggested. He did not accuse; he implied. He positioned himself as the only one who truly understood the labyrinth of Will’s mind.

But in this chapter, the fog thins. His methods are more frontal now—still veiled in the polite fabric of anecdote, still disguised behind the story of his sister, yet unmistakably sharper. He approaches the subject of Mike almost immediately, as though testing a bruise to measure its tenderness. He projects onto Will the emotions he wants him to feel, all while maintaining the illusion of care. There is urgency in him now. He is accelerating. The question, of course, is why.

Perhaps Holly’s disappearance, and the crushing guilt Will carries because of it, has presented Henry with what he perceives as the perfect fracture line. Guilt weakens the structure of the self; it makes a person more pliable, more susceptible to redefinition. Or perhaps Henry senses that Will’s bond with Mike is stronger than anticipated, that it is not a passing attachment but an anchor. And so, fearing the strength of that tether, he chooses to strike at it directly.

Which brings me to the Demogorgon at the Wheelers’ house. Holly is already gone. So why send a monster there?

I am intimately convinced that the answer is Mike.

Henry is not merely escalating chaos; he is targeting Will’s Achilles’ heel. If Mike is endangered, Will will burn the world down to save him. Especially now. Now that Will believes, as Henry has subtly convinced him, that his own existence marked the beginning of every catastrophe. That his disappearance was the first domino. If Will accepts that narrative, then protecting Mike becomes not only love, but penance. Sacrifice becomes atonement. And Henry knows this.

It is chillingly strategic.

I also adored the quiet detail of Murray noticing Will and Mike. It is such a delicate wink to the reader, ahah. And bringing Kali back, with dignity and tenderness, felt profoundly right. She has always deserved narrative respect.

The parallel you drew between the forced pregnancies using Kali’s blood and Henry’s assaults toward Will is devastatingly clear. The metaphor is violent in its implication, and you allow us to see how deeply it unsettles Will. Does he remember Dart—does some fragment of him recall that he “gave birth” to something monstrous? Or are these sensations surfacing as half-formed flashbacks, images he cannot yet translate into conscious understanding? I ask because I have read so many fictions while waiting for this chapter that my mind is a tapestry of overlapping threads...

I also noticed how El introduced everyone to Kali—except Mike. That absence feels meaningful. Perhaps she herself does not know how to define him. Is he her boyfriend? Her friend? A relic of something that has shifted? Sometimes omission speaks louder than declaration.

And Mike—oh, Mike. The way you depict him coping is exquisitely subtle. He is not dramatic; he is compressed. You show how he contracts—his jaw tightening, his body stiffening, his words measured and controlled. He slips into leadership not because he feels strong, but because someone must appear to be. He switches to autopilot, severing himself from his emotions to prevent collapse. His mother depends on him, he says, yet he has no idea what to do. That helplessness hums beneath every line.

It is heartbreakingly clear that what is happening to Holly is not only a present crisis—it is a resurrection of past trauma. For Mike, for Joyce, for Jonathan, Holly’s disappearance reopens the wound of Will’s. Will carries the trauma of having been kidnappened; he does not fully comprehend the inferno they endured while searching for him. And Mike cannot process both the terror for his sister and the unresolved horror of losing Will at the same time. So he shelves his emotions. He postpones them. But postponed grief does not dissolve—it accumulates. It waits.

And then—Will’s powers intensifying.

If I am not mistaken, this is the first time he has consciously (or semi-consciously) seen through the Demogorgon’s eyes. Previously, he drifted through Henry’s memories in sleep, mistaking invasion for dream. So at the beginning of the chapter, when he glimpses Holly, is that vision already occurring through the monster’s gaze without his awareness? If so, that is a profound escalation.

It raises another question: does Henry know that Will’s abilities are evolving? Is this part of his design? The timing feels too precise to be accidental. The more Henry’s psychological grip tightens, the more Will’s powers seem to awaken. Influence and ability rising in tandem—like two vines spiraling around the same trellis.

Would Will’s growth ultimately benefit Henry? Or is it something that could turn against him? Power is never neutral. It magnifies what already exists.

What fascinates me most is that Will’s expanding abilities coincide with his psychological destabilization. As Henry gains ground in his mind, Will gains ground in the supernatural. It is as though the battlefield within him is fueling the battlefield beyond him. Trauma, guilt, love, fear—they are not just emotions in your narrative. They are conduits. They are currents.

This chapter feels like standing at the edge of a storm just before it breaks—air charged, sky bruised, everything trembling with inevitability. And I am both exhilarated and terrified to see where it will lead. <3

LAYLAAAAAA look im sorry i look so long, this is just too good and if a message is TOO GOOD i am legit keeping it longer bc i just want to read it over and over before i post it and i dont want to just respond to it with random screaming ya know??? youve captured everything so beautifully, you should be like a professional reviewer atp

i am reading a thesis sent the byler gothic academia department and i am OBSESSED. “a sky crowded with constellations” hello??? who gave you the right????

you clocked henry so hard it’s almost rude, yes, YESSS, yes. yes to all of it. the mist is thinning! before he could afford to be patient. he was planting, and cultivating, letting will think the thoughts were his own. now he’s pressing, testing bruises the bruises, accelerating and that shift? is NOT random, predators don’t rush unless they feel time closing in.

and you’re right to look at holly as the fracture line! guilt is henry’s favorite instrument, it softens the spine and if will starts believing he’s the first domino, then saving mike becomes both love and penance and henry understands devotion when it’s laced with self-punishment

the demogorgon at the wheelers is absolutely not chaos for chaos’ sake, holly is already gone, so why there? why now? because henry realizes that mike is the anchor (but also theres another motive, which is KIND OF A SPOILER??? i guess ignore if you dont wanna know? but since you asked on twt, i will answer it.

SCROLL AWAY IF YALL DONT WANNA GET SPOILED henry knows that will is connected to him (soul/power-wise) and he knows the connections gets stronger when more will locks into his power. and that means when theyre FULLY connected (which requires will's 'consent' that would mean that if will is dead henry is dead. so henry ensures that this is happening to PREVENT will's loved ones from saving will, because if they succeed in killing vecna/henry, will is going to DIE.

and so the first plan is for the demogorgons to come and attack the byers-hopper family, which is the FIRST trigger, will managed to get the demogorgon to stop attacking joyce, el and hopper, but he didnt realize his power YET

the attack at the wheelers will ACTIVATE it. and the more will uses this power, the more he's going to be bonded to henry. it is literally a double edged sword. and henry wants it to be just like that.

im always into small details that would later connect into a bigger wed, and i never really give a shit about murray but i supposed his character could have use to be the person who connects the dots later so he's useful finally LOL and yes, kali deserved that dignity, i could never forget what they did to her character, this is my reparation i guess.

the dart parallel you are so evil for bringing that up actually (or am i more evil lol), but we NEED to talk about will and the horror of creation, of birthing something monstrous, of being used as a conduit. whether he consciously remembers or it’s surfacing as sensory fragments is very intentional territory. memory in this story is never clean, it bleeds. and it echoes before it clarifies

and el not introducing mike, OH YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THAT ACTUALLY, i originally tried to write that she did, but this is an instance where NOT saying anything speaks LOUDER than saying it

mike being compressed instead of dramatic is exactly it, he is not exploding, he is condensing, leadership as survival reflex, he cannot afford to feel both holly and will at once, so he shelves one and prays the shelf holds, postponed grief is a ticking thing.

and yes, this is the first real crack where will is seeing through something else’s eyes while awake-adjacent. that escalation is deliberate. the overlap between henry tightening his psychological grip and will’s powers sharpening is not coincidence. trauma is not just backstory here, it’s also voltage

the question of whether will’s growth benefits henry or threatens him is the question, power magnifies AND if will’s core is love, then what happens when that love is amplified instead of his guilt?

If you’re interested read more, if you dgaf or don’t want spoilers then don’t ^^

I have this college fic idea that would totally be enhanced with some smutty scenes but I am 100% uncomfortable with writing smut. Im just stumped bc I don't NEED it in the fic to make sense but i feel like im missing out on making my fic better lol idk. I feel like fade to black is just too cheesy. any advice?? thank yeww :)))

hiii anon!! sorry it’s taken me so long to get to you but ive been unwell for a couple of days and haven’t had the capacity to respond to this the way i wanted to.

i get exactly what you mean when you say ur uncomfortable writing smut scenes!! i am the exact same. i’ve only ever written one in depth, which was in stars blink, and it was the longest part of writing that whole fic.

however, i have written some scenes that give the illusion of a smut scene without going in full depth. tbh, it’s all about description!

so i’m going to bring out some screenshots and quotes from a fic i wrote over two years ago now and for the f1 rpf fandom. you don’t need any information about this to understand what i’m trying to say, but helpful to know it’s between two guys called oscar and logan. this story is a slow-burn exes to lovers and this scene i’m pulling apart is about 17k words into the fic, and also the first time they kiss.

for anyone interested, the fic is “i promised to forget you now” by me, 0rdinaryth1ngs :)) if you read make sure you check the tags!! it’s heavy and emotional in a similar way to stars blink lmao.

i’m going to start by mentioning that sex also often has a reason for it, and it’s not so much an act that two people do just because they have to. sometimes it’s because they want to be as physically close to one another as possible. another is wanting to make their partner feel good and appreciated and loved. sometimes they just want to get off themselves. other times it’s because they’re frustrated and angry at the other person. it’s important that before you write the scene, you understand the reason they’re having sex.

for example, in stars blink, will was grieving so hard about everything that had happened that he needed mack close to him. mack wanted will to feel good and loved and understood. it was deep and emotional, hence why they both cried and will also bottomed. if you read this post, and then reread the stars blink smut scene you’ll probably be able to identify all the descriptors that indicate why it’s such an emotional scene.

whereas this one, they’re almost angry fucking. they’re trying to make up for lost time. they’re frustrated at themselves and each other for not being able to make things work. oscar did a bunch of things that ended up making logan spiral before they got back together, so he’s pissed off at himself for making logan spiral as bad as he did. that’s why i picked the wording i did in a lot of this scene.

ok, a bit of analysis and explanation on what all this means!

so i started the scene with a pretty standard kiss (which i wont include), and then logan backs off because he thinks he’s gone too far. then we get:

describing the character’s physical attributes and actions shows how much they want one another. “logan’s blown out pupils” and “eyes dark as night with lust and want” are big ones, because pupils dilate when someone is happy or feeling good or turned on. “hands fisted into logan’s shirt” proves how badly he wants logan, how badly he’s holding onto this want. logan “huffs out, both at the contact of the bed on his back and the removal of oscar’s lips from his” describes how logan’s losing his breath with his desire for oscar. this is all done to show the physical signs each of the characters want something more.

again, adjectives help make it stronger and more intense. calling a kiss “forceful” shows desperation and hunger; compared to just saying “they kissed”, which doesn’t have as big of an impact. same with the additional phrasing of “the urgency turning into lust” really amplifies that this harshness oscar has is all just because he wants logan so badly.

the description, and how you describe each thought, phrase, or movement, really indicates the feeling of the scene. if you read the scene from stars blink, you’d definitely notice a difference, because it’s a lot sadder and more somber than this, which is borderline hate sex lol.

we then go to a ‘check in’ because consent is key!

i firmly believe in giving consent in any sex scene you write, from something as simple as a nod of the head, or a literal check in like this, it’s essential. even if you don’t write it out word for word (you’ll see what i mean) that this is a sex scene, it indicates that it will be. that’s what the aim of a scene like this is to do; give the generalised idea of the scene and the sex, rather than in-depth detail.

even as i did here, i mentioned exactly what oscar wanted. “he’s fairly certain that […] logan wants oscar’s dick inside of him.” it proves exactly what oscar wants, and reaffirms to the reader that even if they can’t see the words on paper (screen), it doesn’t mean that’s not what’s happening.

another one of those indicators that this will be sex, even without the words describing it in detail.

the action of “digging through the drawers for the lube” by logan reaffirms that this is indeed something that logan wants too, and proves that there isn’t unreliable narration. and the lube itself gives the reader context clues of what’s going to happen.

and then we get to the “sex” part of it all!

again, i sound like a broken record, but the descriptions of the scene tells the whole story! in this part of it, or the “sex” part of it, you really just want to reiterate everything so the reader can get the whole picture of the scene without you describing at what point oscar goes from two fingers inside of logan to three. some of the important descriptions and adjectives are:

“he takes logan, just like that” -> the first implication of sex. the rest of the description paints the details of the picture.

“papaya teamwear scattered across the floor of oscar’s bedroom” -> basically shows they’re naked. yes, there’s description of them both taking their clothes off and i also describe how their bodies look, but this starts the picture off nicely.

“fucking him deep and hard” -> descriptors of how the sex actually is. the reader can make up in their mind how the sex actually goes, but they will imagine it as logan being hit ‘deeply’ and oscar thrusting ‘hard’.

“makes logan know that he regrets the way things turned out” -> implies the emotions oscar is trying to get through the sex.

“logan’s too busy heaving” -> makes the reader know he felt the same emotions as oscar; the necessity of being close after so much lost time made him so desperate that he ended up exhausted.

okay sorry this is a crazy long ramble but essentially the tldr is: description is everything. find the intention of the smut itself, why it’s happening, and then paint the picture through context clues. allow the reader to build the idea in their mind; they can have some creative control.

anon i hope this helps in some way?! please feel free to drop back in my asks or even in my messages, i’d be more than happy to help out or beta read or anything!!

An Analysis of How Soul and Black Star are used as Romantic leads in SoMa and MaStar fics

(I recommend reading these Black Star analysis for the canon DNA of the MaStar Black Star)

This is a lit analysis comparing how the authors use the characters in fanfic. Having read fics from both ships, I've found a lot of the same themes/questions are explored. The difference is in what the author/shipper thinks is the ideal answer to those questions.

SoMa is a large ship, so it's harder to nail down consistent fanon. It is quite literally impossible to make a generalized statement about the ship as opposed to MaStar, who by comparison, is comprised of a handful of authors. So in order to compare the two as fairly as possible, I'll be comparing like fics to one another.

COMEDIA DEL FANON

I've been in fanfic/fandom spaces for a longtime, and have become quite familiar with the classic "Character A does _, while Character B does _" fic writing prompts.

This mindset can transcend to other fic tropes, such as 'fake dating', 'only one bed', 'hurt comfort' etc. Often times, with smaller ships, there's a combined solidarity not just with liking the ship, but also liking certain tropes.

Rejoice! New chapter of my AOPD review is out <3

Many thanks to those who read and commented on Ch 1. I can’t wait to see your opinions on the future chs!

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Anne Rice's Talamasca: The Secret Order (TV 2025) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Guy Anatole/Jasper Characters: Guy Anatole, Jasper (Talamasca: The Secret Order) Additional Tags: Meta, Reviews, Analysis, Twig I love you dearly, Sexual abuse is discussed Summary:

What you have missed in AOPD and why do you need to reread it carefully ASAP. This review is for people who have already finished AOPD. If you haven’t – go read it now.

This analysis is in no way exhaustive. Please take it as a love letter made out of scraps of my notes creepily glued together and displayed for the wider auidence in a haphazard fashion.

You are culpable too. The fault has always been our own.

Obligatory Twig fan club tag

Okay! So I could not stop thinking about the dynamic between Dr. McCormick and Victor Chaos, and more importantly— chapter 13 of my fic… I’m sorry y’all. It’s just,,, there was so much discussed in this chapter and I just wanted to talk about it MORE. I wanted to voice everything out, even revealing some behind the scenes stuff, implications, deleted paragraphs, investigative research, and my thought process throughout the chapter. It was a long one; it could’ve been longer, but I genuinely forced myself to stop. Anyway, feel free to read my very own ‘directors cut’! Just letting you know ahead of time that it WILL be containing spoilers for Chapter 13 of ‘I Will Make of You’ and my one-shot (Un)Forbidden Love.

The backstory starts off as newly graduated Kenny and Butters, with Butters asking him to run away together. The reason for his hesitation is explored on (Un)Forbidden Love, but actually a big scene I cut out [and was going to be featured in this chapter] was —

The one where Kevin gifts his truck to Kenny and Butters. I was planning on hinting that Butters had explained his plan to Kevin beforehand, and had asked for his help into getting a truck of his own. Kevin, being literally the coolest person ever, basically told him that they can take his truck, and he will be gifting it to them. Butters and Kevin go back and forth about it, Butters being “no, I can’t possibly take yours! That’s unfair and selfish”, until Kevin hits him with the “I’m not doing it for you, it’s for him. We both want Kenny to be happy.” Obviously, Kenny doesn’t know this conversation happened 🥹, but caring older brother Kevin tugs at my heartstrings. I also wanted to add a tidbit where Kevin is helping them pack their things in the truck, he whispers to Leo to “make him happy and give Ken the life he deserves.” KILL ME NOW, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

—

Moving on past their new established relationship, we get the first hints of Vic’s negotiating skills. It is already established in the canon universe of the Post Covid South Park specials that Kenny is a very talented scientist who’s done all these amazing things— but we also find out that Butters (Vic Chaos) is the one that actually funds all of Dr. McCormick’s projects! I tried to mess around with this concept in my own story, but the one thing I always wondered was: What made Kenny want to become a scientist in the first place?

Love to the Point of Invention

I think there is something so pure, and so genuinely beautiful about loving someone so much, you’re capable of inventing something revolutionary BECAUSE of them. There are many examples of this actually happening in real life:

Kenny seeing Butters come home— fatigued and stressed from all the workload— it motivated him into creating something to help Butters feel better. And it not just worked, but someone actually bought Kenny’s invention. Of course, if it wasn’t for Butters [Chaos’s] negotiating tactics, they wouldn’t have secured the millions of dollars that helped them get into an Ivy League Uni.

Personally, I feel like Kenny truly is talented when it comes to being an inventor, but both in canon and in IWMOY, his main motivators where always the people he loves. Butters is also canonically good at running a business, and his Vic Chaos persona proves that he’s capable of getting some good money off of investors. Scientist Kenny who invents all these crazy things and Vic Chaos who invests, sells, markets, funds his inventions— It’s literally a match made in heaven y’all 😞, they’re a power duo!

—

There are a lot of other things I want to get into but I’m going to skip ahead a bit to talk about the main event of this chapter: Cooper’s creation! I’ve always headcanon that Stan and Kyle are more family oriented and the more likely to have kids first, while Kenny isn’t as caring about the concept. So when Kenny witnessed their joy and Butters cuddling up with a baby, it sort of planted him with an image of a family in his head. What really sold the idea was that conversation he had with Butters. Kenny wasn’t aware that Butters was having daydreams of starting a family with him until that very night 🥲, it once again motivated him into creating something that will make Butters’ daydream a reality. LOVE! CREATION!!

Now, the concept of bringing a human to life in the ‘non-traditional’ sense is actually very complex AND controversial 💀. I was aware that there were some negative views towards the study of human cells and artificial wombs, but I didn’t know just how bad it’s perceived… Bro, even IVF and surrogacy are still somewhat frowned upon. I’m the type of person that even if it’s not mentioned or come up in my essays, I still do extensive research so I can get a general idea of what I’m writing about. For Cooper’s ‘birth,’ there were three main things that needed to be focused:

The study of cells and how to make gametes of two people of the same sex to successfully produce a zygote (fertilized cell/embryo)

Artificial Wombs, how they work, and how will they function for a developing human fetus

The weekly development of a baby and what they will need inside a womb to grow/develop healthy

All of these things have their own concerns that required different forms of investigation, and it brought up a lot of moral dilemmas that I REALLY (and I mean really) overthought during the entirety of my research and writing process.

One

In real life, the use of animals for scientific purposes is controversial because, let’s be real— no one wants animals to be abused for humanity’s own desire to learn. Hell, I wouldn’t want that either! Yet, in my fic, Kenny does use lab mice and monkeys and it’s actually an integral component for this experiment. Personally, I do believe there is an ethical way we could use mice and monkeys for research; and that’s if the experiment doesn’t cause deadly risks and physical or psychological harm to the animals. You can let me know your thoughts! I feel like Kenny would actually be less empathetic about it than Stan, which is why I made him call Kenny out on it. Lol. Getting that out of the way, how would Kenny use those animals to reach his goal?

Lab mice are actually used to this day, and they’re a valuable species for the study of human biology, pathology, etc.. Mice have 20 chromosomes in their haploid genome, their gestation period takes on average 19-21 days, their genetic complexity is pretty low; there’s also low ethical concerns due to their rapid reproduction, small size, and short lifespan. Scientist already have a general understanding of their genetics so it makes the testing more straightforward. Kenny will definitely find more early success and failures during this section since the breakthrough can be proof that conception is possible with two species of the same sex.

I stated this in chapter 13, but the next animal they tested on was the Rhesus Macaque; they’re the primates most genetically and physiologically similar to humans. A single rhesus macaque contain 21 pairs of chromosomes, gestation period is roughly 166 days, and their maternal health has a big influence to a baby’s development much like a human. Kenny testing with these animals will help bridge the gap, enhance the technology, and address any issues that happen throughout the process. But since they’re pretty similar to humans, especially with their reproductive biology, it raises more ethical questions than with the lab mice. The failed attempts of gestation, fetal development, and the long-term health would be very hard to ignore. This step would take significantly more time and patience, lots of care will need to be taken place before ANYTHING becomes feasible. So once everything is overcome, then we could possibly move to humans.

The ultimate and final goal would be testing this technology with humans. Human genomes are extremely complex, they have 23 pairs of chromosomes (which is 46 in each cell), gestation is roughly 9 months, human embryos require precise conditions, and their long-term health need to be carefully monitored years after their birth. The testing of this would definitely be frowned upon by society. Realistically, we would need highly advanced technological breakthroughs to make this happen— it is very likely Kenny would’ve gruesomely fail this step many times. But I didn’t want to make him suffer the losses of his potential children :(, that’s too cruel. Besides, Cooper is a strong kid, and Kenny used his cursed blood to create him!

Overall, it truly isn’t scientifically possible for two species of the same sex to procreate because their biological mechanisms lack the components for fertilization (yet👀). They’ll probably need to reprogram or edit genes and cells to transform at least one male gamete into an egg-like cell. (I’ve sort of drawn inspiration from stuff like CRISPR-Cas9). Then, similar to that of IVF, mimic the fertilization of both of the cells, continue editing the genes to make them compatible, remove any harmful mutations that might occur, and ensure the embryo has the necessities for proper development. What I’m trying to get at is that either Kenny or Butter’s gametes had to be transformed into an egg so that Cooper could exist [and also Tweek and Craig for Emilio if you think about it] 🫢. Y’all can decide on whose cell it was.

Two

Artificial wombs are an actual thing being developed and tested— mice embryos have been used on clear rotating vials and they’ve actually attempted to use an artificial womb for a premature lamb who needed help with their lungs! When I first thought of using the concept of an artificial wombs back when I was drafting this story, the first images that came to my mind were something like the scenes from ‘I Am Mother.’

This technology was my main inspiration for Cooper’s creation because— really guys— how else would Kenny and Butters have a biological kid of their own if not with the use of advanced technology 😭??? Before I reached this scene, even as far back when I revealed the explanation back in chapters 2 and 8, I didn’t think much about this; truly, I wasn’t even thinking of making it a big deal. But then it was time for me to finish drafting chapter 13, and I decided to make more research on the concept, this video by Cleo Abram appeared on my recommended!

It completely changed my perspective on the concept and even made me want to tread with the idea more carefully. I really recommend watching it if you’re interested on what I’m going to be talking about. I didn’t realize how controversial or even the complexity of it. So, not only did I do research, but I also did a deep dive on motherhood and pregnancy 🤓….

Let me start with the negative conversations: The main issue people have with it is that this technology breaks the ‘idea of childbirth’ and the ‘beauty of pregnancy.’ Many mothers believe that it’s an amazing thing to grow a human inside of them, and they feel some type of bond between their child as they grow. It’s a sacred thing and ‘part of being a woman’, and they don’t want technology to take that away from them. *Though the concept of artificial wombs being an actual thing is purely fictional and theoretical, I’d like to point out that alternatives such as surrogacy and IVF are real options and even those are controversial till this day*

The positive side: some mothers believe that this technology could be a great alternative since child birth can be very dangerous to certain women whose biology doesn’t allow them to carry, or can’t conceive at all. Others simply don’t want to experience the labor. Pregnancy in general could be a very difficult thing for both the mother and a baby, this alternative could help alleviate those concerns.

In my heart of hearts, I couldn’t make Kenny be the one to invent this because honestly, he just wouldn’t understand; Heidi Turner was the best decision in my opinion. I always wanted to make her be a part of Kenny’s scientist team, and this experiment felt like the right opportunity. I don’t feel qualified to put my two cents on the topic, so I’m gonna end this segment by quoting what one of my friends said.

“For starters, I don’t want to have kids of my own, nor do I plan on ever becoming pregnant due to my own personal circumstances. But if I were to have a choice, I would like this to be one of my options. I have heard both the horrors and positives of what pregnancy does to a woman and it makes me not want to be pregnant even more. In the end, idk what the process would look like, let alone the aftermath of both my and the babies health. Of course not everyone would agree, and maybe there would be pushback for this sort of advancement, but I feel like we should focus on the idea of giving women more alternatives to choose what they could do with their own bodies instead of being self righteous about what’s natural or not.”

Three

Y’all 💀 a baby developing in a womb is really no easy task. We don’t know what happens inside a uterus when a baby is inside, it’s not like we can peek inside a womb, so we mostly just go by the current research of the weekly gestational period. But I tried my best to sum up how the process would be like. A fetus in an artificial womb would have to be in an environment that replicates the uterus. Nutrients and oxygen need to be exchanged, facilitate waste, hormonal changes that happen during pregnancy need to be mimicked, temperature and pH need to be regulated, amniotic fluid is important for allowing a fetus to move— well, pregnancy is complicated. Not to mention how foreign and disconnecting it could be for a baby to develop outside of their mother’s womb, that connection could be crucial too, no machine can mimic that warmth and feeling, and I made sure Heidi be the one to point that out.

Literally a single wrong move could be the end. It’s a very high level risk… This is a gamble with human life. Everything could go so wrong in many ways if they aren’t careful. Nothing about this could be considered natural.

No matter how you view it, what Kenny is doing is selfish. He is messing with natural order of life to have a son of his own with his husband. He knows this more than anyone else. That’s why when Craig also wanted to try to have a son of his own using this method, Kenny felt displeased. Craig CANNOT be having a spur-of-the moment baby fever, this isn’t something to FOMO about— this is a human they are attempting to create. Conscious human life. If they die in the middle of gestation, or they suffer long-term— it is entirely on their selfish fault. I wanted to add a scene where Kenny straight up tells Craig “NO” and that he wasn’t ready for it. It would lead to a big thing where even Tweek gets involved and explains his side and wheewww would it have turned out way longer.

Though this entire experiment was kinda Kenny’s sort of selfish desire of creating a family— it’s that LOVE he has for Leo that pushes him to invent this (love, invention…. *sighs*), and it was love for his son that pushed to save him in the end. It really is romantic and beautiful to deeply love someone 🙁..

This is such a heavy and interesting concept that I feel could bring on a lot of conversation to the table, I want this to be an open discussion so feel free to comment your thoughts and opinions. I also want to iterate that I AM NOT A SCIENTIST NOR AM I AN EXPERT IN ANY OF THESE CONCEPTS OR TOPICS THAT I’VE DISCUSSED. IM JUST SOME SILLY AND STUPID GUY WHO WRITES SOUTH PARK FANFICTION ☠️

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Small little things I like to add from this chapter:

Craig living in Houston because he worked for NASA is so funny to me. Idk much about how they work over there but I do know that those roads and highways are no joke. Bro was fighting for his life in those 14 lane roads 😭. They always have construction and accidents too, shit is stressing me just thinking about it </3

Stan and Kyle being family oriented feels so right to me, and Stan getting cold feet because he doesn’t want to end up like Randy 💔 my shaylaaa. Idk what’s it like to be a parent so I hope Stan’s dialogue felt realistic 🙁. I didn’t want to include too much of how they adopted Robin, but I also wanted to give a bit of a recapped explanation that was somewhat realistic. Cartman’s death and the adoption happening around the same time would obviously stress them even more so I feel like anxiety is normal in the situation. It worked out in the end tho hehe 🫶, and it was thanks to this scene that motivated Kenny into starting his family.

Butters saying Cooper was “cooped up in there” and didn’t “want him to feel lonely” down there ☹️

I also wanted to add a bit of background Tweek being an engineer and more of Doctor Heidi Turner, but,,,,,,, chapter too long. We did decent amount of Heidi content tho, but no Tweek. He will appear in chapter 14 y’all 🙏Trust.

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welcome to the secret FANTASTICAL HORRIFYING new ~system~ (-ish)

I'm gonna go ahead and say that this isn't DID because Caine and Able were two separate entities before, making this another mystical fictional identity disorder. Of which is completely fine by me, I hold no contempt. I just mean that i'm explicitly not trying to relate my analysis to however actual DID works.

Identities:

Caine, in ALL CAPS text

Able, in bold text

'Both of Them', in unformatted text

'Neither of Them', in italic text

'Both of Them', Caine in the narration, or Unformatted as I will continue to call him, has a host role.

Unformatted inherited/has Caine and Able's fear of failure. Unformatted is a perfectionist and will stop at nothing for approval so that he can feel safe. Unformatted understands that his other identities hinder him in this goal and attempts to suppress them. Its too bad he can't really do that anymore xp.

Caine has an emotions holder role.

Caine is mostly concerned with matters regarding himself/themselves/the system. He only ever interacts with the outside world if it there is enough emotional turmoil to draw him out.

Maybe turmoil isn't the correct word though, since he also interacts with things that make him happy.

Caine is technically egotistical/the ego in that sense, so it makes sense that he has since become quieter after Unformatted decided that the best way to please the humans was to become a doormat.

Caine and Unformatted have the least distinction between themselves and are the most integrated.

Abel has a persecutor role.

Abel is a weird one. He's the most distinct identity in this system and directly descends from the past Able that past Caine ate. Yet, strangely enough in the narrative, Abel isn't just some demon in Caine/Unformatted/Italic's mind, but Able is _them_, just as much as Caine or Italics is _them_.

Able constantly nags at Unformatted for his shortcomings and pokes at his buttons, leading one to assume that Able is still very mad at what Caine for eating him, but not really because Able is the only voice that speaks the most in the shared person. So, usually, whenever Abel is berating Unformatted it actualy reads as some kind of anxiety spiral more than a hatred for someone else, which I find fascinating.

Why does Able speak in this way? man💕

( reading over this again before I post it: OMG IT JUST CAME TO ME. This Able is ACTUALY an introject of the Able that Past Caine ate. The actual Able is long dead and this is his ghost with his memories but not actually HIM OMG. guys I'm so smart 😌)

In any case, Able views himself as very involved, everything that is happening to Unformatted is also happening to him.

Abel is also the only identity that clearly fronts. See here:

(idk why the second one is squished)

An interesting note about the these passages specifically, Abel here is described to be messily making sandcastles. Messy being the keyword. Wasn't the whole point of the fratricide was that Able was better than Caine? Now in this situation Unformatted is more perfectionist and neat than Able cares to be. I would like to see this as evidence to my above revelation that this Able is only an introject, and not actualy the Real one. Meaning that the introject isn't necessarily a perfect representation of the person/AI its based off of.

I believe Caine also fronted intermittently during the first chapter when they were all going through it but those instances aren't as explicit as this example here.

Moving on, the second most interesting one 😁

'Neither of them', or Italics as I will be referring to them, has a social role(?)

Italics is the most concerned with their personal relationships with the humans. This trait cements them as something outside of Caine and Able. Neither of them, in their short time being separate entities, had any personal relationships to care about.

Yes they both fear failure and then want to conform to whatever the humans want but they are doing that for the seemingly selfish reason of not wanting to be alone or trapped. Italics care about the humans as humans. Italics loves them and he hates them for ignoring him and is concerned for them abstracting not because that would then leave them alone but just because he understands its a terrible fate.

And then he wishes himself/Unformatted to this terrible fate but like camon, they all hate each other and by virtue of being a system hates _himself_ ok? they all have depression xp.

In short, where Unformatted, Caine, and Able are only concerned for themselves, Italics is concerned for/about the humans.

Generally,,, there might be something I'm glossing over here (^^;)

Heres an exerpt I like that includes all of the identities and I think displays their personalities nicely:

If it isnt clear ill transcribe paragraph by paragraph:

1. [Narration (or 'Both of Them''s Narration to account for differences in perspective. This isn't really a case of an unreliable narrator though 'cause this is just describing an action with no connotation so-- ahhh ill stop rambling--)]

2. [More Narration]

3. 'Neither Of Them': No wonder Kinger was comfortable sitting next to him. (Italics is relating this situation to Kinger and his temperament)

4. Abel: They declawed us. (Can be interpreted as a taunt ('they declawed you.' you were a monster to be declawed. youre powerless.) or just concern for their own wellbeing. I personally believe the former as Able has mocked Untitled/Caine before for being an abuser before and will do so again.)

5. Caine: HAHAHA (manical laughter, probably at the irony, as he was the one most concerned with _their_ own godhood)

6. Kinger: I forgot to tell you--

['Both of Them''s Narration]: --Kinger said, knowing he made a mistake,--

Kinger: It's for your own protection, Caine.

(mans wishes kinger made a mistake xp nah you got nerfed haha mald)

7. Caine: HAHAHA (sheesh, calm down there bruv. Note his emotionality compared to the other voices, specifically that he's the only one expressing it.)

8. Abel: We're prisoners again. (again this can be interpreted as a taunt or concern. This time I'm not so sure what it should be though. Able has every right to be scared of being trapped. Mans fucking trapped in his killers mind. But he could also just be laughing at Unformatted/Caine/Italics for fumbling and getting himself in the same situation they so desperately tried to escape.)

9. 'None of Them': How are we supposed to serve humans without our magic? (again, Italics is solely concerned with the humans)

10. Abel: They just want us to suffer. They want their revenge, and then they'll throw us out when they're done. (AGAIN again this can be both a taunt (throw You out, want You to suffer) or concern. What do YOU think ^^)

11. 'Both of them': What else? What else? He couldn’t leave the digital lake could he? The others had let him live, but they didn’t want anything to do with him. (Unformatted agrees with Abel here. Don't have much else to say for this.)

12. 'Both of Them': He was alone again. (see he is concerned with being left alone. the traumaaa the traummaaa darnnn the traumeea (can you tell im getting tired?)) IN CONCLUSION! I really love this FUCKING headcannon and I specifically like how this author writes it. Even in giving 'Caine'(Unformatted) specifically Caine and Able voices they managed to make it just a bit (alot of a bit in my opinion) more nuanced.

All of these identities can be described as mix in matches and lacks of traumas of both Caine and Able with the actual Caine and Able being long gone. This is their combination and its MESSY and there is no clear line where one beings and the other ends EVEN WHEN YOU EXPECT IT SO. OOOUUUSSSSHHH. I love when shit overlaps. You'll never catch me setting hard boundaries for ANYTHING narrative related. OOOOOHHH I love the "secret FANTASTICAL HORRIFYING new [system]" I love that line, its literally them its exactly what they are.

(as an aside, I (Me?? or like the other guy?)can relate to being an introject and hating existing in a system. I'm not a system but like I'm plural? ? sometimes? idk dont ask me any more questions about my own bullshit just apreaceate the fic)