#smut analysis

HI guys! I’m back with more fic analysis. This time it’s of Pull Me to the Ground by somethinglikesawyer, or Silver! An excellent fic that we’ll be talking about today. Specifically, the smut and how it relates to consent! Along with some very light literary analysis about character work and pacing. Very light, though, I promise. 

Okay so I haven’t done like, analysis analysis of smut. That’s basically what this is. If you do not want discussions of smut, excerpts of smut, analysis of smut, do not read. Really. 

Also! Discussions of consent ahead. Nothing like graphic descriptions of SA, but obviously if discussing how sometimes people don’t do a great job at consent is an issue for you, do not read. 

Alright! Getting into it. Pull Me to the Ground. Or Bar AU. Or Ryules Rumi AU. Or, the AU that starts with Mira and Zoey picking Rumi up in a bar. And then spending a night with her. This AU poses an interesting scenario: all three girls are into kink, but obviously they don’t know each other’s limits. Silver, the author, does an excellent job of demonstrating the proper way to show consent here. And, I’ve seen some discussions floating around the fandom about consent in different fics, so I figured this was a good fic to go through scene by scene and point out where consent was established, what it was doing, and what good consent looks like in kink. All while getting to talk about a fic I love! Alright. Opening scene. Mira and Zoey have picked Rumi up from a bar. They’ve already been flirting, Zoey was kissing and straddling her on the car ride home. They’ve made it to Mira and Zoey’s house, and things are about to escalate. 

Zoey kisses Rumi up the way to the door, and kisses her once they’re inside. Mira takes over, they kiss some more, Rumi bites Mira’s lip. Everything here is still kissing/grinding, stuff they established in the bar. 

Mira carries Rumi to the bedroom, throws her on the bed, and we get our first interaction to tear apart: “Rumi,” Mira said, all teasing gone as she stared down at her, not touching her yet anywhere, as if she wanted to keep a short distance. “Choose a safeword.”

“Stoplight system,” she said automatically.

Mira nodded. “You got that, Zo?”

A common question people less informed ask is “But establishing consent isn’t hot! I don’t want to ask “is it okay if I touch you” while grinding on someone! That ruins the mood!” Well. Skill issue. Mira does a great job of establishing a safeword while staying attractive and high energy. Notice how this exchange is also short, they don’t take 2k words of the fic to establish this. Short, snappy, attractive. Also take special notice of how Mira checked in that Zoey heard and understood. Zoey then moves onto other topics: 

“Yep!” Zoey, who had followed them in, chirped. She climbed onto the bed to Rumi’s left side, leaning in close but also not touching her, not yet. “Red, yellow, green it is.” A gentle, real smile. “And how do you feel about marks, pretty girl?”

One, listing the stoplight system verbally. This is less for consent and more a clever writing tip. Obviously, Silver doesn’t know how familiar every person reading this is going to be. Saying “Red, yellow, green it is” is less for the character’s benefit and more for the audience’s benefit. But! This line is pulling double duty. Zoey has ADHD. She’s chatty. This is also establishing that Zoey likes to speak her stream of consciousness, since she’s probably thinking internally about the stoplight system now. This check both informed the audience of specifically what the stoplight system is, informed us of Zoey’s thought process, stayed attractive, and further established consent. In. Three. Words! It wasn’t clunky, it wasn't awkward. 

She also begins to establish kink limits, around marks and pain. Standard stuff. Each question is just a few words, along with the response. Once again, consent does not have to be a paragraph of I want statements. Especially for these characters that are established as comfortable in kink. It’s snappy. (This also pulls double duty of keeping the pacing tight. They flirted at the bar, increased intensity with the making out, increased more with the car ride, and now this conversation acts as a short breather before the heavier smut begins. Think about how horror movies often start with a victim dying, slow minutes of ramping tension, then the slashing. Smut is actually quite similar to horror but that’s a convo for another day.) 

After establishing those, I want to point out a small moment. 

“Strap?” Mira questioned next, and Zoey shot the pink-haired woman a look.

Rumi didn’t know them well enough to decode what that look meant, so she just nodded and coughed out a, “Yes. Definite yes.”

This is later revealed that typically during their threesomes Mira takes a backseat, and Zoey leads. This is Mira asking both if Rumi is fine with a strap, but also asking Zoey if she’s fine with it. Hence, the look. This is nonverbal, but still explicit consent. Obviously Mira and Zoey are a lot more familiar with each other, so they communicate through shared glances and expressions. But it’s still consent! 

And, finally. They touch her properly. The consent is established, limits established, and the narrative has had time to breathe. (Rumi has also had time to breathe.) Important to note that the two girls stopped touching Rumi during this. This could be for a few reasons. Giving her a breather, giving her an out. I like to believe it’s to remove pressure. Touching her while asking about what she wants could be taken as them pressuring her to say yes. I like to think that them giving her space is also giving her autonomy to say whatever she needs to. It could be triple duty, though, giving her autonomy, an out, and time to relax slightly. (It could also be time for Mira to enter any headspaces she needs to.) The smut starts proper here. Obviously everything got established, but I want to point out a few cute details. 

“How about you stop complaining and get our girl inside the house already?” Mira tugged on Zoey’s loose hair, coaxing another whine from her throat, and Rumi clenched her thighs together at the sight. Zoey was just so beautiful, and the way she subtly surrendered into Mira’s hands with the slightest lean, as if she didn’t even realize what she was doing, was devastating.

-

Mira glared at her. “You just can’t help but brat, can you? How many times—” she yanked out and pulled at Zoey’s other bun, dislodging the hair band and freeing those dark curls. “—am I going to have to remind you that this isn’t about you? It’s about Rumi.”

Zoey whined into her grip, and Rumi saw the tension seep from her limbs, letting Mira hold up much of her weight by her hair alone.

Two times Mira pulled Zoey’s hair and Zoey leaned into it. Obviously, her leaning into it isn’t required. Some people get really into the scene! But it is confirmation that yes, she’s into it, yes, she’s in control, yes, she wants it. It also characterizes both of them as genuinely caring, which is setup for the aftercare that Rumi is surprised at later. It separates these two in Rumi’s mind from Couple I want to fuck into Couple that is genuinely sweet which I like. 

Anyway, smut, smut. More smut. It’s good! Go read it. I don’t need to play by play this part. Until we get to the Bite of ‘87- 

Joking, joking. You’d think it was that bad based on some community reaction. Sigh. Let’s break it down. It all starts here: 

“You’re a biter,” Mira groused. “And a hypocrite, at that.” She turned back to Rumi and added, “While we’re at it… pain?”

“Yeah,” Rumi agreed, the word catching. She cleared her throat. “Fine by me. But in… in moderation.”

Pain, in moderation. So, after some smut, Mira goes for the pain: 

It turned out to be a ploy, though, because Mira seized the moment of distraction to finally sink her teeth in, biting Rumi on the same spot.

Rumi jerked, only barely managing to stifle a yelp. She turned back to Mira with a glare.

“You’re playing dirty,” Rumi accused.

“How about you stop complaining and just focus on me?” Mira murmured into her chest, before biting her again. It wasn’t a particularly rough bite, but Rumi still stiffened, a small jolt of pain running through her.

Mira was watching her. Studying, eyes flickering over every twitch and grimace. Testing, Rumi realized, to see her reaction to the bite. And where her limit was.

Not to copy/paste Silver’s entire fic, context is just important. Mira bit her moderately roughly once, gauged Rumi’s reaction, and bit again. And then it’s explicitly stated that she is watching Rumi’s reaction, trying to gauge what “Moderate” was for her. This, too, is a form of consent. And Rumi replies: 

It shouldn’t have affected Rumi as much as it did.

Rumi let out a mocking laugh. “You call that a bite?” she scoffed.

It was subtle, but she still caught it when Mira’s jaw ticked.

Zoey giggled again. “Oh, you’re making her mad, Rumi.”

Mira ignored Zoey, instead tilting her head a little to the side, angling herself over one of Rumi’s ribs, and bit her again. Harder, but not hard enough.

I think some people focus on the wrong part here. Zoey saying “Oh, you’re making her mad” isn’t genuine. Mira isn’t biting Rumi because she’s upset. She’s biting Rumi because they’re both into it. Zoey is just fueling the fantasy for all three of them, but Mira obviously isn’t actually mad. See the “but not enough.” Guys, I don’t know if you’ve bit someone. It’s easy to make it hurt. If Mira was really biting her in a rage, Rumi would know. Anyway. Mira bites her again, before moving onto other pastures. The bite hasn’t happened yet. Let’s jump to it. 

Smut, smut, smut. Great smut, by the way. I’ll point out this small moment. 

Mira smoothed over the bite with a consoling lick, flicking the tip of her tongue over her nipple, before moving up to Rumi’s neck. As per Rumi’s request, she didn’t bite or suck hard enough to leave a mark, but she did nibble lightly, as if testing for sensitivity.

Mira doing the bare minimum. But once again, she’s not mad guys. She’s in total control here. 

Anyway. Smut, smut, more smut. Go read it. But then we get to The Bite. 

Mira licked another stripe up Rumi’s abdomen, and then paused, hovering.

And bit down.

And that’s when Rumi learned that Mira had been holding back up until then, because when she bit, she bit hard. Her jaw clamped down, her teeth digging in deep and rough.

Rumi wailed as pain, hot and abrupt, lanced through her. Her body seized in place, like it wasn’t sure whether to pull away or move closer, and she cried out again, loud and guttural.

She felt her skin break beneath Mira’s teeth and keened.

Now, for those of you unaware. Even in kink circles, this isn’t looked upon amazingly. Human teeth are mildly disgusting, and bite wounds are very prone to infection. Some people are into it, generally the consensus is that the risk of infection isn’t worth it. So, what is Mira’s reaction? Did Mira plan this? Is she just hurting Rumi because she wants to? 

And just like that, sheer panic flashed across Mira’s face. Mira drew back abruptly, rushing to pull her fingers out of Rumi, and Zoey removed her hands from her chest like she’d touched a hot stove and no, no, where were they going—

A desperate, choked sound left Rumi. “No wait stay green greengreengreen ple–” Rumi cut herself off just in time before she’d accidentally begged.

So, one, Rumi was way too into it. Two, Mira did not mean to break skin. As soon as she did, she pulled back, and Zoey followed. They immediately stopped and waited for Rumi, to check on her. And then they return to smut, making sure she’s okay. This gets addressed in aftercare, but there’s another moment coming up I want to point out. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Zoey whispered, reaching for a strand of Rumi’s hair that had come loose, tucking it behind her ear. “Would it be okay if I sat on top of you?”

Rumi understood immediately, and she nodded frantically, suddenly desperate for it. Zoey smiled at her warmly before swinging one leg over her head and getting into position. This time, Zoey faced Mira. 

“Tap my leg if it’s too much,” Zoey murmured to Rumi before lowering down. Rumi opened her mouth with an eager whine that would have embarrassed her if she wasn’t so far gone.

Their established consent system, stoplight system, was verbal. Up to this point Rumi’s mouth wasn’t busy enough to need anything. But Zoey wants to ride her face (it’s a very pretty face, understandable) so quickly establishes a new system. Tap if it’s too much. Once again short, snappy. Sweet. No 2k words establishing a new system. 

Anyway. That’s all the consent checks in the smut! Explicitly, anyway. You could argue that every time one of them vocalizes “I’m going to do this” it’s establishing consent, giving an opportunity for Rumi to say no. You could also argue every little whine out of Rumi’s mouth is an answer, but. I think covering the explicit parts is good enough. Aftercare! Once it’s over, Zoey and Mira immediately go into care mode. Specifically: 

Rumi just groaned, and Zoey chuckled. Mira dabbed the gauze at the bite again, and Rumi hissed at the sting of it.

“I know, angel. I’m sorry, but I have to clean it,” Mira said, sounding genuinely apologetic. Rumi quieted down and studied Mira, noticing the creased line between her brows and the careful way she touched Rumi with the gauze, mindful of how it would feel.

Mira is well knowledged in kink, and knows that bite wounds are nasty. She works to make sure Rumi is okay as soon as the scene is over, and apologizes while she’s doing it. They also explicitly pay attention to her, giving her Advil and water. Zoey also does another explicit consent check that everything went fine, and that she’s already. Mira stays busy, and asks once again if Rumi needs anything. Plot about Rumi and her damn rules. Not related to consent so I won’t discuss it. They cuddle, pass out.