#fic ask

can't wait for next one!

Shskskd thank you dear nonnie! Yeah, we need a bit of spice to complement the sweetness, hmm?~

Ooooo

Easiest would probably be my old old old old ollllllld fic that I wrote back in 2010 because it was a parody fic about annoying a character.

🌸 did anything major change when you started writing [fic] to when you finished?

Uhhh, yeah. It was just gonna be a one shot (maybe a two-shot). And now we're at 89 chapters and plan to be done at 92 chapters.

Ssjdsjakl thank you so so much! I really wanted to convey their feelings but in their twisted, fucked up way so I am really happy you enjoyed it and again sorry for the wait!~ ♡

(i love your fic <3)

I blame Olivia Rodrigo and Noah Kahan’s discography for being the way that I am. I am sorry, but it’s going to get worse before it gets better

(Thanks for the love tho🥹💖✨)

OH i really love this observation! and yes, hopper’s reaction absolutely worsened what will was already feeling in that moment. it did not create the guilt, because that guilt was already there, but it gave will another reason to think, oh. this is what they see when they look at me.

and i did think about whether will should defend henry more. because yes, realistically, someone who has been manipulated like that might try to deny it first. “no, he would not do that. he understood me. he was kind to me. he would never.” that was definitely something i considered

but with will’s mental state in that scene, i think he is past the point where denial can really protect him. he is exhausted. holly is gone. the wheelers were attacked. he just controlled demogorgons with his mind. hopper has found the drawings. all the lines are connecting in front of him faster than he can breathe

and the worst part is that henry already planted that seed in him back in chapter 9, the idea that maybe all of this started with will, that maybe hawkins went wrong because of him, that maybe people would be right to look at him and see the source of the rot. so when hopper starts asking those questions, will is not only hearing hopper, he is hearing henry too.

there is also the other layer, which is that will’s first fear when hopper sees the drawings is not only “they will think henry possessed me again.” it is also “they will realise how close i was to this man.” and in will’s head, that is terrifying in a completely different way., because then the question becomes: what if they know i liked him? what if they know it was intimate? what if they are disgusted?

so defending henry too loudly would mean exposing that closeness, it would mean showing everyone exactly how much henry meant to him. and for will, both possible conclusions are horrible. either they think henry had some supernatural hold over him, or they think will wanted him, both feel like a trap. both feel humiliating, both feel dangerous.

so i don’t think will has the room to defend henry in the way we might expect from that kind of victim, not because the attachment is not there, because it absolutely is, but because the context of the scene makes every defence feel like another way to condemn himself

and yes, there is denial in him. there are little moments of it. but i think the horror is that will understands too much, too quickly. once hopper says it, once the name is there, once the drawings are there, once the demogorgons are there, he cannot fully unknow it, he can still grieve it. he can still want it not to be true. but some part of him already knows.

as for what will feels about henry now… it is very messy. he feels betrayed, obviously. horrified. ashamed. angry too, though i don’t think he knows what to do with that anger yet. but he also still has the memory of being understood by him. and that is the awful part. henry being vecna does not erase the fact that, to will, henry was the first person who looked directly at the ugliest, loneliest parts of him and did not flinch

even if it was manipulation, will still felt loved inside it. and that is not something he can just cut out of himself cleanly

with mike, i don’t think there is any universe where mike would be angry at will for falling into henry’s trap. not this mike. not after everything he has seen. mike saw will with lonnie when they were children. he knows what it looks like when will is cornered by someone older, someone crueler, someone who knows exactly where to press. so no, i don’t think mike’s anger would go to will

it would go to henry. and, honestly, to himself, bc mike has already been watching will slip away. even before the reveal, he could feel that something was wrong and he still could not stop it. so finding out that henry was the person will had been talking to does not only make mike furious. it makes him sick with the feeling that he missed it. that he should have seen it. that he should have done something sooner

and yes, we will get will and henry in the next chapter, i will not call it a confrontation exactly?? but we will get them together

Live reaction of me in my room at 2 in the morning:

But the good thing is that I remembered that you gave Vision face claim of ryland grace and now I'm happy again

The movie filled me with so much hope and joy and FEELINGS OMFG- and don't get me started on the soundtrack bc I won't stop talking about it. Ryland Grace, I love you so freaking much😭🥹💖✨