#fibro rant

my weed tolerance is getting really bad but it's like the only thing that keeps me going with my fibromyalgia, anxiety, and depression. it doesn't work like magic that makes it all go away, but it makes everything more tolerable and helps me in so many way. I feel awful without it.

this means im using much more than i used and we don't have money for more because we only have one income because I cant work because my body is in too much pain all the time.

10 days since my last trip to the dispensary and I've already used about half of my month's supply. I'm so stressed about what to do for the rest of the month. I feel bad asking my husband to buy more because this month my other expensive fibromyalgia meds were refilled so we've spent a bit more than usual on "medications".

I already buy the cheapest weed possible and aim for bulk value and sale prices over varying strains. I've tried so many times this year to take tolerance breaks, and they've all led to me feeling completely miserable and ending it early. If I take a tolerance break I have to somehow feel better while simultaneously depriving myself of my medication.

I'm so sick of having that pressure on my body. If I could magically make myself feel better for a week or something, I would already do it. It's so frustrating. This whole illness is a variety of vicious cycles that rule every aspect of your life: sleep, hobbies, social energy, exercise, hygiene, work, school, food.... it's all shit.

Too much of anything is bad, not enough of anything is bad, doing things is bad, resting is bad, eating is bad, not eating is bad, sleeping is impossible, not sleeping is also somehow impossible.

I didn't cry when I was diagnosed. To me it was like finally being validated after a decade of suffering and various medical testing.

For her, she was in a car accident that left her with CRPS and so so many other complications. So adding fibro on top of that is just sucks.

I can sympathize. That totally sucks. Fibro sucks. All of her conditions sucks.

Fml today.

My arm hurts so bad i want to rip it off my body. I think it would hurt less. The only way it doesn't hurt is if i hold it in a very specific position and dont move at all

I read and read and read on Facebook on support groups for fibromyalgia about (in sarcastic annoying girly scratch your eyes out with a fork voice) "this pill" "have you taken this med" " I am worse then you" " I had fibro before they even knew it was fibro" "my disability." I ask questions like dose anyone not take pills?Anyone workout? Dose anyone work? Dose anyone have seizures? ( I woke up in a dazed very fearfully not knowing shit and have a fear of having one in my sleep lately) dose anyone go paralyzed? Guess what.... no fucking comments. It drives me nuts. I take one pill twice a day for sever migraines. I have a tendency to blackout. It looks like someone turned off my light. It scares the shit out of my husband. No medication they have put me on helps so I gave up. I fight thru pain. I still manage to drive to the gym after an eight hour shift. I work out for an hour and a half to two hours. I cry. I won't lie. Wtf....

Moral of the story...

Your a support group not a who who is worse the who group.

Advice

Encouragement